✨x-mas epilogue✨

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December 23rd 2007


"Jen, make sure to wear one of your cashmere Chanel's, it's snowing out."

"Yes Mother."

I already knew it was snowing outside. I've been sat on my window seat all afternoon staring at each passing snowflake. Mom would have known if she'd ever bothered to check on me.

Tonight we have to go to some boring Christmas charity benefit for the disadvantaged. Even though it's two days until Christmas, my family always finds an excuse to work. If only we did normal stuff like wrapping presents and watching cringy movies. But no, work comes first every time.

My older brother peeked his head round the corner of the door. He was fastening his tie, wearing a fancy looking tuxedo. He looks so much like Dad when they make him dress smart. It's creepy.

"Almost ready J?"

"Uh huh." I sat at my vanity and slid my favourite hairclip into my curls. It's shiny, with bright red garnets on it. Lucille told me that's my birthstone. "Do we have to go tonight? I'd much rather just stay home and bake-"

"Gingerbread with Lucille? Yeah, I know." He chuckled, sitting on the end of my bed. "You know we have to go Jen. Kim Corp doesn't represent itself."

I rolled my eyes, swiveling around in my chair. "I'm only 12 though! I don't care about all that Oppa. I want to play in the snow with you and sing Christmas carols beside the grand piano and ride my bike..."

"Well you can't." The fur around the neckline of my coat tickled my nose as he helped me fasten the buttons. "It's all fun and games hanging out with Lucille J, but don't forget we have responsibilities."

"More like you have responsibilities. I'm just an extra."

"Don't say such things Jendeuk." He sighed.

"It's true. Our lives are so tiring Tae. What if I don't wanna pose in front of photographers and spend my evenings with a bunch of adults. It's not fair."

"Life isn't fair Jen. You'll learn that soon enough, now come on."

I took one last longing glance at my favourite seat by the window before shutting the bedroom door.

Taehyung's right.

Life isn't fair.

I wish I were never born a Kim.








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"Mommy, look, I keep getting these bumps on my arm and they just won't go away!"

I rolled my sleeve up so she could see, and she tutted at me.

"Oh Lali, always so dramatic, huh? Those are just goosepimples, you're cold. Come here." She held me with her gloved hands and rubbed up and down my torso until I'd warmed up. "Better?"

"A little. It's a lot colder than we thought it'd be, isn't it?" She hummed. I think that meant she agreed with me.

I was so excited when Mom told us we were moving that I wasn't even sad on my last day at school. I even said bye to all my friends from dance and promised I'd write to them from my new address in Korea. I was ready to start at a brand new school and make new friends, maybe even get my first pet. But nothing about the move here has been easy.

Mom tries her best with the small amount she makes at a cleaning company, and it's enough to pay for the tiny apartment the two of us share. Sometimes the lights go off, along with the electricity and heating, but it's fine. We turned keeping warm into game where we compete to see who can wear the most layers. I once managed 5 t-shirts, 2 sweaters and 3 pairs of leggings before I was toasty. Mom had to practically claw me out of it all the next morning. It was fun.

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