Smith
I don't bring up the topic of labeling ourselves to Diego. Part of me is scared for his response to it all and is worried it wouldn't go the way I want it to.
Another few weeks go by of us doing what we've been doing. Sweet and/or sexual text, secret make outs, and late night phone calls. To me, it all seems perfect. Everything between us is going perfectly well, but it's the only thing that life that is.
I'm still barely keeping anything down. There's been times where I've thrown up water mixed with stomach acid because my body can't handle something being inside of me. It can't handle anything.
I feel so cold all the time, even though the spring is supposed to be nearing in the next couple of weeks. No amount of blankets or burning showers can ease the freeze under my skin. I swear, half the time, I can feel my bones chattering.
I'm destroying myself, and I know it. I know that I'm ruining my stomach. I know that what I'm doing is harmful. But seeing the numbers drop on the scale is making this dangerous process so much more addicting.
The results fuel me more than any food can.
It's Friday and my parents have allowed me to stay at the Velador's tonight and until tomorrow evening. I made up an excuse that Dayanara and I have a project to work on. We already completed the project days ago, but my parents didn't need to know that.
The only condition to me staying out was I had to take Lilith home after band practice. I spent the extra hour and a half catching up on all my late work. If my zeros were put in, I'd never be allowed to leave the house again. Luckily, most of my teachers have given some grace since everyone has senioritis.
After I dropped my young sister off, I speed to the Velador house. I can't wait to hang out with Diego, it's all I've been looking forward to. It's all I've been thinking about. It's the only thing my mind can process in its cloudy state.
When I arrive, Dayanara greets me and begins catching me up on her life. It feels like we haven't been talking much lately, and I miss her. We talk at work, but usually it's with Diego and not just us two. It feels good to just talk with her, and her only.
"I'm going to Jamal's house soon." This girl is spending way too much time with this guy, and it scares me. They're fucking like rabbits and aren't even together. I'm not one to talk, but still, I'm concerned. "We're using protection, I swear."
At least I don't have to worry about her getting pregnant or catching a disease. "Good." Where's Diego? I've been here for an entire 10 minutes and he has yet to greet me. What is that boy doing? "Where's your brother?"
Dayanara lets out a dramatic but teasing groans,"You only come over to see my brother."
Before I can answer, a voice answers as a presence fills the room. And oh, how I missed that presence. "Yeah, because I'm hotter and cooler than you."
Diego sits beside me, a delightful scent filling my nose. I glance at him, and do my absolute best not to stare. But how can I not? Wet curls stick to his forehead as a tank top clings to his body. Drops of water roll down his glisten muscles, making me salivate like a dog.
Gosh, he's so perfect.
"More like uglier and stupider," Dayanara grumbles in reply.
"Stupider isn't a word, dumbass."
Dayanara replies in Spanish, her words coming out too fast for me to understand all of it. The two bicker for a moment, the only thing I'm able to pick up on is the profanity and random words thrown out. My mind is too foggy to translate everything said.
