Kinda ranted in multiple parts of this chapter but ah well- gotta get them raw emotions in💀
Smith
As the days tick down until Winter break, the more stress weighs down on me. I've been studying for midterms like a mad man, and also have been finishing the tedious, last minute assignments teachers have thrown at me. Most nights, I've stayed up until 2 or 3am, either crying, attempting to study, or contemplating my entire life.
Saying I'm burnt out is an understatement. I'm exhausted, both mentally and physically. My stomach is constantly in knots from anxiety around school, food, and the holidays. School work has been harder to complete, and part of me feels lazy for having no motivation.
It feels like I can hardly breathe from the immense amount of stress and tiredness drowning me.
"At least this is our last midterm for the semester," Dayanra beams in attempt to brighten my mood. My emotions have been all over the place lately. Some days, my mind and body is shut down. Other days, I've cried more times than I can remember. And then other days, sleep deprivation highs are the only way I feel anything. "Then, it's break!"
I crack a smile at her enthusiasm, "yeah."
Oh, but I'm dreading every second of break. Yeah, no school work is going to be amazing, but I'm going to be stuck with my parents and then Diego. I wonder if I can stay with Kylie around New Year's so I have some sort of relief in the midst of everything.
"Smith?" I look up, smiling at the small head peaking into the room. Mateo sends me a pleading look and smug smile that resembles Maria's. A sigh leaves my mouth as I nod for him to asks me a question. "Can you help me finish my Lego set?"
I glance at my computer, scanning over the few assignments I have left that are due tomorrow. If I don't finish them now, I'll destroy myself until I find the energy to complete them. However, I can't say no to Mateo. His pout and puppy dogs eyes aren't as bad as Maria's, but they're pretty darn close.
"You're asking him to play with blocks right now," Dayanara teases her younger brother. Mateo huffs in reply, waiting for me to cave in and agree. "We're studying."
"But-"
"I can take a break," I decide. My best friend rolls her eyes, mumbling how much of a pushover I am in a playful tone. She waves me off, allowing me to follow Mateo to his room. "What set is it?"
Mateo smiles, "The one Colleen gave me." I try not to snicker at the mention of the boy's girlfriend. Hearing him talk about her is sickeningly sweet since he's like a love-sick puppy towards the girl. Young love is crazy, I assume. "Here."
The boy hands me a booklet of steps. For what feels like hours, we work on the Lego set. Mateo and I crack dumb jokes, which all contain his middle school boy humor. Every handful of minutes, I roll my eyes and try not to wheeze at the offensive or cringy punchlines. I swear, this boy says the most out of pocket things.
A hard knock on the door breaks our concentration and humor. My eyes dart over, seeing Diego walk into the room after opening the door. I stare at him for a moment. My gaze fixates on him longer than expected.
A tank top clings to Diego's body from sweat, showing the outline of his toned stomach. Gosh, to have a body like his. I would do anything in the world to look as god-like as Diego. As much as I dislike the guy, he has an incredible build that I've always been envious of.
My gaze flickers to the sweaty boy's face. The moment our eyes meet, we snap them away from each other, not wanting to acknowledge the others presence. "Oh," Diego mumbles when he sees me helping his younger brother. His eyes move to the built Legos, his face falling more by the second. "Mateo, I could've helped you with it..."
