Rekindled

Space

Finn's POV

I wake up in that classic morning haze. It seems like most of these mornings are the same. It seems I wake up in the same way, almost if everything is already planned out. Oh well, what are you going to do about it? I have to be over to the flame kingdom by 7 o'clock sharp. I don't plan on disappointing Phoebe, so I better get a move on. It's a good thing I've always been an early riser, or this would have sucked a lot more.

I fall back into my classic morning routines. Today seems like any other normal day. I don't know why, but I feel like everything will change in some unexpected way because everything is too similar. I don't mind sameness in a routine. The mundane-ness is almost soothing after all these years of being a hero. The predictability is oddly nice; however, today seems too normal.

I take my jog down the stairs. This is my daily morning exercise that erases any sleep still caught within the folds of my body. Except there aren't any folds on my body, how ironic. I hop into my car and take the familiar drive over to the fire kingdom. I take a quick minute just to enjoy the wind blowing past my face. It's times like this that I try to enjoy life. I want to take in the moments that I would have missed if Jake had never caught me. I realized my existentialism after all that time recovering. I realized that eventually it'll all be over. Everything I've done and accomplished will be gone forever. I'm living in the now, and I had to realize the importance of living for today.

It took a lot of work to get out of that dark place, but I find myself finding everyday easier than the last. Each day I find the beauty of the little things. There are things I see in everyday life that keeps me going. The beauty of the sunrise, family, friends, or even the ground I walk on. I had to learn to find the beauty of life. When I could find reasons to stay alive, then I could work on how to approach this depression. I had to accept the self-doubt and find the strength in myself that I've had in me all along.

Glob this sounds so cliche. Me just thinking to myself about this. Yes it might be my life that I'm living, but it's still so cliche. I wonder how...

"Excuse me Finn, but you know the rules. You need royal permission to enter."

Oh right. I nearly forgot about that. It's such a stupid policy, but if it helps Phoebe, then I'll endure whatever it takes. She's worth whatever pain I have to endure. She's worth anything.

"Uh, yeah, actually I do. Phoebe told me to be here at 7 sharp, and as you can see it's five to seven, and I'd hate to disappoint her."

"Sorry man, I don't know if I can trust you on this one. How can I believe you?"

"I don't think there's anything I can say to make you believe me, but you have two options. One- you let me in, and everyone's happy. Two- you don't let me in, and you piss off your ruler. I know you respect her, but you know what she's like when she's mad. So what's it going to be? Options one or two?"

"Well, I guess we're in a bit of pickle. I really don't want to make the queen angry. It's been one hell of a week already. Don't make me regret this. I still trust you even if most of the kingdom doesn't. I still believe in you, so don't make me regret my faith."

"I won't. Now can you please let me go through? I still can't be late."

The guards let me through the gate, and I sped towards the castle. I continued to muse along what I was going to say to Phoebe. Yesterday's conversation really didn't go well. Today was a new day, which meant new opportunities. I'll seize this moment. This won't slip by; it can't because I won't let it.

I leisurely stroll towards Phoebe's bedroom quarters. Surprisingly there aren't any servants there. That's odd, normally you have to push through hoards of them to reach your destination. I knew something would be up today. I knock on Phoebe's door, and I wait in the awkward, thick silence. It feels like a good lifetime before she finally opens the door. She lets me in, and something seems a little weird. Maybe because of yesterday, but I'm not quite sure what it is yet. She locks the door behind us. Well at least we'll be alone, if there was anyone to be alone from. It seemed we were the only ones awake in the castle. That would make sense, it was pretty early.

I turn around; Phoebe's standing right behind. Our gazes lock. I stare deep into her eyes trying to read her. She was usually so easy to read, but I couldn't make out anything. It was blank, but guarding. It was like she didn't want me to know what she was feeling. This is so odd, she's always so open. Even if I couldn't read her, I felt that familiar tension between us. That classic romantic tension that makes my stomach fill with butterflies. The kind that makes your hurt of longing. I knew that she was feeling the same. I took my chances, and leaned in with my eyes closing.

I was expecting the same warmth and taste of cherries on my lips; however, I felt nothing except a finger on my lips. I opened my eyes and saw Phoebe's eyes filled with tears. She quickly blinked them away, not letting them free. I could feel pain from her.

"Finn, that kiss yesterday was rash. I shouldn't have. I needed to let you know that I still cared about you."

"What do you mean Phoebe?"

"Finn, we need to formally break up. I can't be with you Finn. I'm sorry. We both care about each other. I can't deny that we are soul mates. I know I'm made for you Finn. I know it down deep in my heart that I'm supposed to be with you. I wouldn't have it any other way. I can't deny either how much pain you've caused me Finn. You've caused me anguish and misery. You've made me cry so many tears over you Finn! I love you too much. I love you so much that it causes me physical pain. You've violated my trust one to many times Finn. I believe we can fix this, but time is what will fix this relationship."

"Phoebe don't do this. I need you. You're my everything. You are one of the best things to happen to me. Please... Please. I can't lose you. I can't do it again."

"Finn, this hurts me just as much as it hurts you. I want to be with you, but not now. The time isn't right Finn. We both need to heal. You may have healed enough to survive, but you need to learn to live, not survive, Finn. We need to go our separate ways. This isn't over forever, we will be back together if we think we're ready. Finn, we'll both know when we're ready. Find purpose in life. I should be extra to your life, not what your life is. I can't let this be a toxic relationship. You need to be self-sufficient. That means without me."

"But..."

"No buts Finn. I need time to fully forgive you. The people are cold to you. Let them warm up to you in time. Everything will come in time, trust me."

"I don't know what to say Phoebe. I'm lost for words."

"You don't have to say anything. Goodbye Finn. It won't be forever, but it might feel like it."

"If I have to say goodbye then I will. If you need time, I will give you time. You deserve everything to get better. I'll be waiting until you're ready. Goodbye Phoebe."

"Thank you Finn."

"Goodbye."

I walked out of the castle and back to my car. I had a lot more work to do. We had to get better. I had to get better, and I would because of her. I will do it for you Phoebe. I don't know how long it will be until we'll be together, but I will wait. You're worth waiting for. With that, I sped out of the kingdom and into a new life. A life full of promise and opportunities. A life full of bright tomorrows, and a future with Phoebe. I just had to wait.