Rekindled

Regret

Phoebe's POV

I sat there curled up in the fetal position. I have been like this for who knows how long. I have a long and lonely walk back home. This has been torture. I have been alone with my own mind for too long. I need someone to be here. I need Finn. I want him to be here and tell me that's everything will work out. Unfortunately, it's all my fault. It's my fault I'm here and not in his arms. It's my fault that his heart is broken. It's my fault that he feels used. It's all my fault, and I have no idea how to fix any of this. I have to fix this. Somehow, I have to show him that he's mine. I need to. I guess the only thing I can do is sleep. I feel so tired.

*Night passes. Usual time skip. Nothing fancy here. Keep reading. Why are you reading this? This is a time jump, and there is nothing special here. GO. GO. Read on. Nothing special here*

I wake up and my entire body feels sore. I stretch out each of my limbs. Each one has a satisfactory pop when fully extended. I feel like shit. My entire mind is cloudy. I don't feel like my regular self. Last night was a wild emotional ride. I would say it was like a rollercoaster, but rollercoasters are at least fun when they go down. My night was anything but fun when it went down. I left the boy of my dreams heartbroken. I took what love we had, and I broke it in half and smashed it into tiny pieces.

I haven't come up with any ideas to get Finn back. He deserves something big. He's sweet and caring. He cares about everyone. If he was in my situation, he would do something catered specifically to me. He knows just how to make anyone happy. He makes everyone else happy and safe. He deserves someone to make him happy. He deserves someone that cares for him. He deserves someone who is all of that. He deserves a girl who won't treat him like he's disposable. He is special and one of a kind. He deserves anyone but me, but I still want him. I'll let him see that I'm the girl he needs and wants.

I have a lot of work to get there. It's a long way from here to there. I have to start with baby steps I guess. The first baby step is to pull myself out of this self-deprecation. I deserve to feel low. NO! I can't put myself down like that. I did treat him like shit, and I feel like so, but I can't dwell on it any longer. If I want to be with Finn, I have to accept that it was wrong and move on. I have to put it behind me and look to the future. You can't love someone if you don't love yourself. I'll go make myself look presentable, even if no one will even care. I will care about how I look. To care for Finn, is to first care for myself.

*Time jump a little longer. I didn't feel like a filler paragraph, so here's a time jump. Shouldn't you have learned from the last one? Why are you reading this? There is literally nothing special here. This is a regular, average, and boring time jump. Leave and read on.*

I feel so much better now. It's been over a few hours, and I feel ready to get him back. I feel like my original and fiery self. I accept what I've done. I just need to get him back somehow. If anyone would know what to do, it would be none other than Jake himself. He knows Finn better than anybody else. After all, they are brothers. They're best friends, and they went adventuring together. Finn has confided in Jake about his darkest secrets for nearly his entire life. Jake knows all. I guess I have to get to him before I get to Finn. He's defensive of his baby brother. I'll be surprised if Jake doesn't know what went down yesterday. I have to let him know that I messed up. In the end, I have to convince two guys that I'm right for Finn.

I guess I need to get this awkward phone call over with. I can't keep waiting. I can't prolong this forever. The longer I wait means that some other girl might get to Finn. Some girl that comforts him in his heartbreak. Someone who is his shoulder to cry one. Does Finn even cry? I guess I don't know everything about him. Agh! I can't keep getting sidetracked. I got to do this!

I dial Jake's number, and I wait anxiously for him to pick up. The only sounds I hear are the constant buzz of the tone and my own relentless heart beat. My heart doesn't dare slow down. Its persistence is slightly driving me crazy. I have to wait out this silence. It's only 1 minute. I can wait that long, can't I?

"Hello?"

I nearly have a heart attack. The sudden absence of silence is definitely unexpected. I can't show I'm nervous. He's an old friend. I have nothing to worry about. Just speak Phoebe. Don't leave him in silence. If you don't talk then he might hang up. Speak woman. Speak!

"Hello? Is anyone there. Helloooooooooooooooo?"

"Oh, hi Jake. Sorry about that. It's me, Phoebe."

"Why you gotta hurt my bro like that Phoebe? You do realize that he loves you right? I want him to have a healthy relationship. He wanted you more than anyone else. Why you gotta do that to my bro? We both trusted you."

"Oh... I guess Finn already told you then. I was hoping that I would beat him to you. Well, I guess you already know the story then. If Finn never wants to see me again then just tell me. Tell me if he doesn't love me anymore. I didn't mean to cause him pain. I don't know what I was thinking. I love him, and I ruined any chance I had with him."

I felt myself slowly starting to break down again. My face felt moist with tears. This was so hard to talk about. I don't know if I can bear this pain or guilt any longer.

"Phoebe! Hey Phoebe! Hey, hey, it's okay. Stop crying. I figured you didn't mean to break his heart. You two fools are made for each other. I just care about Finn, you know? He 's my bro, and I want the best for him. Why are you calling me, shouldn't you be talking to him?"

"I'm calling because I wanted your help. Can Finn hear us right now? I'm guessing he's with you."

"Don't worry, He's out right now. He came here in the middle of the night crying. He said he didn't know where else to go. We sat and talked in my kitchen until like 3am last night. He was a wreck. He's somewhere. He said he'd be back for dinner. He said he needed to clear his mind. Only I can hear you right now."

"Good. I need your help Jake. I need to fix this with Finn. I don't know what I'll do without him. I didn't know who else to talk to. I figured if anyone could help me, it would be you. You know Finn better than anybody. I figured you would know how to help me win him back."

"Well, I do think you two should be together. Both of you have hurt each other. Thank you for coming to me, and I think I do know how to help you. Just know one thing Phoebe, if you break his heart again, I will make sure he finds someone else. I trust you, and I think you're cool. I just don't want my bro hurt again."

"I promise Jake that I won't hurt him ever again. I don't dare dream of losing Finn. This has already been a nightmare. I need him Jake."

"Well, it definitely sounds like you still care for him. Okay, I have a plan. Let's get you two back together again."

*Hours pass by. The two figure out the perfect plan for Phoebe. Both of them are sure it's going to work. They both decided that Phoebe would make her move on Finn the next day. It was all up to Finn to take her back.*

I hung up the phone with Jake. I couldn't screw this up. It was already pretty late by now. I had spent nearly most of the day talking with Jake. The plan had to be perfect. Tomorrow I'm sure I'll win Finn back. I need him back. I need him back with me. I need his arms around me. I want to fall asleep in his arms every night. I want to wake up to his bright smile every morning. I want him to be my beginning and end. I want to be his forever. I want to be the only girl he loves. I want a future with him. Our entire future rests on tomorrow. It's a lot of stress.

My brain feels exhausted by thinking about everything. I feel exhausted even though I've done nothing all day. I hope the citizens didn't have anything important today. I'll put someone in charge tomorrow. I can't keep my eyes open anymore. I can feel the emotional exhaustion setting in. I look forward to my future with Finn. I will fix all of this tomorrow. But until tomorrow, I can't do anything. I will sleep, and I will dream of my hero. Until tomorrow Finn...