Maeri woke up with a throbbing headache and warm legs lazily draped over her legs.
The heaviness of her eyelids lingered as it turned out to be swollen from the endless crying last night.
It weighed heavy on her heart once again.
The look on Jisung's face from last night was more than painful enough for her to understand how it felt.
She was just too broken and messed up to think wisely.
Heart aching.
The stinging pain of the thorns that poked at her already shattered heart agonizingly, too painful that she was so close to being nothing but numb.
Sad reality it was.
Raking her fingers through her hair languidly as she looked at her surroundings.
Looking at Minho and Changbin sleeping comfortably on their shared bed, she felt like an outcast once again.
And it was lonesome.
This wasn't the first time that she felt like the world was crashing down on her and is still breaking her into pieces even though there was nothing left of her anymore.
Why the fuck did the world feel like it was ending even though it wasn't?
All because of the stupid thing called 'Love'. heck why was it so painful to love?
All of the guilt and pain didn't end.
She felt so stupid.
It was so stupid.
Stupid crying over someone that she knows is worth her tears.
Her loss, she admitted it but as much as she wants to return those feelings, she never learned how to love herself at all.
Not even the slightest.
Blame it on having a greedy father who wanted nothing but power instead of living a great family with his bestest friends.
Blame it on wanting nothing but her father's attention and praises ever since her mother died.
However, it was still her fault.
Not because she wasn't enough, but because she somehow grew up just like how her own father raised her.
She was as selfish and as greedy as him and she didn't know how or where to start in changing any of those.
That's why she knew she couldn't accept the love Jisung has given her and she knew she never even deserved him in the first place.
She was dead wrong though.
If anything in this world was to be given to her, it surely was love.
She wouldn't dare take anything no matter how much she's given in this world, she couldn't take anything... everything felt like it was being given and taken for granted, everything.
She just thought that all she did was nothing but wrong.
Which was true but somehow it felt a little right at some point of her life.
Getting her self out of Minho and Changbin's bed, she mindlessly leaves the room without a care if she felt Minho stir.
Grabbing her phone from the small chair at the corner of the room and heading her way out.
Ignoring Felix and Seungmin who were playing videogames in the living room and proceeding to her bedroom, not even bothering to spare Hyunjin a glance who called out to her from the kitchen.
Maeri locked her self in that small bedroom of hers, ignoring the voices of Chan and Han from out the door who was asking her questions if she was okay or whatever.
She didn't want to hear any of it.
Why ask her those questions when they know it's obvious, right?
Pressing her back against the door, she fluttered her eyes closed trying to stop the tears from falling again.
Sharp intakes of breath and light exhales of air as she tried to calm her self once again.
But her shoulders shook as she bit her lower lip aggressively not caring it it hurt.
She was already in pain to begin with.
And there, she's never talked to anyone for the whole day, not even bothering to let anyone who knocked on her door.
Maeri just sat there, all cold and vulnerable, sitting on the floor with her back pressed against the door, ignoring the thousands of messages she received from her phone as it either continued to ring or continued to buzz from the notifications.
SungchanTower🗼 messaged you:
Ri can we talk???
Please tell me you're okay.
Ri pick up.
At least send me a message???
Shim Maeri, I'm worried sick.
8 missed calls from SungchanTower🗼
Jaemin🦄 messaged you:
Hey
Maeri, he knows.
You should drop by at HQ.
Ri, are you okay?
Shim, reply when you see this. ASAP
3 missed calls from Jaemin🦄
Zhong🐬 messaged you:
Hey.
Shim???
Ri, talk to me.
Maeri, answer my calls.
If not mine at least answer Sungchan's???
We're worried.
Please.
Maeri.
Why won't you answer???
Shim Maeri, please just let me know
you're okay... hm???
Call me back when you see this, pls.
5 missed calls from Zhong🐬
TY👽 messaged you:
The boys are worried sick.
At least tell them you're still alive?
Call any of us or text when you open
your phone??
Lil peach.
1 missed call from TY👽
Injeolmi🦊 messaged you:
Mae....
We're worried.
Please reply to any of us at least??
Ri, you can't keep yourself locked in
your own confinements.
You know it's only going to hurt you
more, right?
I don't know how much it hurts but, Ri.
I don't what to do to take that pain away
Know we're here when you need us
3 missed calls from Injeolmi🦊
Snoopy🐶 messaged you:
I know it's none of my business
But you really should give either of us
a call or a message at least?
1 missed call from Snoopy🐶
✨Lover boy✨ messaged you:
Honey??
1 missed call from ✨Lover boy✨
Ignoring every single one of it, she didn't read it nor she didn't want to see any of it.
She knows it's gonna hurt her even more.
Instead, she sent only one message to only one person.
Send message to: Zhong🐬
I'll see you when you're fully better.
And with that she shut everyone out.
I really don't have plans with stanning Enhypen but stream "given or taken" it's a good song.
This was supposed to be updated around Christmas eve but I didn't want to break your hearts during Christmas. so....... yeah.
Hope you guys liked it, Happy Holidays and Love y'all.