// in which jennie and lisa are married. and jennie decided to have a simple dinner with her wife at their own home as a they welcome another year. //
____________________________________
jennie scuffled around the kitchen as she again deliriously take a taste test on the pasta sauce on the stove. a few chopping here, tasting the right flavor there, and some garnishing at the other end of the big kitchen island infront of her made up her almost whole afternoon.
she wiped her hand on the apron she was wearing for countless times this whole time, leaving a new patch of stain on the already dirty-white cloth. jennie managed to cook the sauce for the main course while preparing the ingredients needed for the dessert. what a great cook she is!
she will be making a simple yet captivating crème brûlée for the supposedly last dish for the night. it is the last day of the year and it will be the new year's day just a few hours to go.
and even though she just planned a dinner with her wife, lisa. she wants it to be perfect and romantic for the both of them.
they have been married for good five years. and jennie, at 29, couldn't be more thankful for having a very caring, and responsible wife that loves her to death. she doesn't want to exaggerate, but her wife couldn't live without jennie by her side. her clingy ass won't really leave jennie 24/7 if she doesn't have work.
"jennie..." shivers ran through jennie's back as she heard the familiar voice call for her. she quickly reached the handkerchief from her back pocket and wiped her bare face with it, she couldn't help but to be conscious about what her face would look like infront of her wife.
she turned around with a grin. her wife is leaning against the massive kitchen doorframe, and looking at her with an affectionate gaze. her doe eyes boring holes on her.
"why do you look at me like that?" jennie asks lisa, her eyes are still on the smaller woman. jennie reached for the blow torch that was placed on the shelf below the kitchen island before lisa can answer her.
"you just look beautiful. i don't think i could ever leave you" jennie's brows are furrowed and her forehead is creased as she stood up and meet the thai woman's gaze.
"you don't need to, either" jennie twists the knob to open the blowtorch and to let fire escape from the cylinder. lisa intimately looked at jennie as her wife prepare the dessert, the sugar on the small bowls where two serving of crème brûlée are situated glistened as the hot flame are blasted on it. but no matter how shiny the sugar in it, she can't help but to look at jennie with the same spark, if not more, than that of the dish.
"aren't you gonna change clothes? i'm almost done here and i will prep myself next" jennie placed the remaining dish on the heating rack before wiping her hand on the apron she's wearing one last time.
"jennie.." the way lisa looked at jennie changed as she called for her name. when jennie looked back at her to meet her sullen gaze, she knew jennie understood what she meant.
the brunette looked down at her feet for some moments before looking back up to lisa with a big smile, not minding the emotion building up inside her. "okay, baby. i mean, you still look great, you don't need to change" lisa give jennie a small smile before straightening her stance and went to the living room.
jennie understood it. and she must admit, lisa still looks good on what she's wearing. others might get tired of it but she won't. lisa looks good on a simple sweater and a pair of jeans that complimented her long legs. and even though she can see how lisa would not step out of her leather boots as she roam around the different areas of their house, jennie wouldn't care less. atleast she is here. atleast, lisa won't leave her.
she sighed as she put out the filthy apron over her head. she tossed it on the basket intended for it near the fridge before shuffling out the kitchen.
she walked past the big mirror as she went her way to the staircase, stopping at her tracks as she realized how she looks. jennie turned her body and faced her reflection, almost gasping at it. she looks horrible, she thinks. how could she let herself be infront of lisa while looking like this?
she have bags under her cat-like eyes, as if she didn't sleep for a thousand years, when in fact it's only been a few days. her face also looked a little thinner, her chubby cheeks, that lisa has always loved, looked a little less than what it is a week ago. and as she looks directly at her eye's image on the mirror, she knew. that no matter how much she tried to smile, no matter how big it is, her eyes really don't lie. it looks blank, like the light that was once twinkling with so much love and enthusiasm left the pair of orbs.
her shoulders slumped in defeat. the tears in her eyes are threatening to fall, but it went back in, or maybe jennie instructed her brain to seep it back in when she heard a small sigh behind her.
"don't be sad. you should go back up and change into your most beautiful dress, jennie my love.." lisa's voice is soothing. jennie feels safe just by hearing her voice.
"but if you don't want to, that one you're wearing is enough for me" lisa's tone is serious but jennie can't help but to chuckle. how can her wife tell her that, even though she's still in pajamas?
"you're kidding me, lalisa" jennie rolled her eyes before turning her back to continue ascending to the master's bedroom on the upper floor of the house. lisa also chuckled before going back to the living room and sitting on her place at the sofa, her eyes glued again on the show running on the television.
it's almost 9 in the evening. and jennie just took a short bath before going to walk in closet on hers and her wife's room. she choose to go with grey-coloured dress that cuts to her knees. it is plain and simple, just like the theme of tonight's dinner with lalisa.
jennie spent fifteen to twenty minutes, she calculated, on putting a light make-up on her face, before going back down where her wife is waiting for her.
lalisa smiled when she sees jennie enter the dining room. a small table setup is placed in the middle of the room. white cloth draped over the round table and utensils and dining ware are placed on it, imitating those from the fine dining restaurants that the couple loved to eat on when they go out on dates.
"you look even more beautiful, my very special princess" jennie felt her cheeks heat up on her wife's overstated compliment. jennie is special and she is feeling more special on the way her wife treats her every single time.
"we should eat now, my love" jennie pronounced as she make her way back into the kitchen and picked up the appetizer from the heating rack.
"jennie.." lisa looked at her again with the same gloomy look as both of them sat infront of each other on the small table.
"don't worry, i can still put these on the fridge and just heat this up tomorrow if we can't eat this all" jennie gave lisa a reassuring look before reaching for her.
jennie started eating and lisa couldn't take her eyes away from the gorgeous woman infront of her. they ate slowly, the dinner felt like fifteen minutes eating and an hour talking to each other. halfway through, as jennie slurped on the main course, lisa called for her wife.
"i want to have a dance with you" jennie went frantic when she realized she forgot to set the phonograph. that's why she has been feeling a little weird about the absence of unknown sounds since they started dinner.
"i'll set the music up. we can dance after dinner, how's that?" lisa just smiled as her eyes followed jennie to the living room where the music player is located.
it seems like the time went through like a blur. it's already 11:30 PM and thirty minutes is what is left before the year will pass. the couple are now in the living room. the music around them is groovy, but not up-beat enough to make them look like a partying. it's enough to make them dance like a pair in a high-school promenade.
"i want to dance with you.." lisa uttered, increasing the tension between the two of them.
"how i wish you can.." jennie smiled bitterly. how painful it is to see your loved one so close to you yet so far you cannot reach them.
jennie is gonna try, even though she knew she will fail. just like the myriad of times she tried to, she reached for her wife. she wants to hold her close, grasp her hand, hug her tight, kiss her lips, but she just couldn't. jennie still reached for lisa, but her hand just passed through the haze infront of her.
jennie is special, and she doesn't know if she's blessed enough or cursed enough to possess this special talent of her. she doesn't know if she is blessed enough because she can still see her wife, unlike other people who lost their loved one. or if she is the opposite of blessed, if she is cursed enough that she can see her wife but can't do anything but just look.
"i-i can't... why can't i hold you, my love?" a wave of tears fell from jennie's eyes. the way lisa looks at her with so much longing is killing her.
"jennie, don't say that... atleast the heavens grant me some time to stay with you" and because of this, jennie burst out even more. her sobs are loud as she let out all the contained emotions inside her, all the sorrow, the dread, the sadness she is feeling for the whole week.
"l-lisa.. my l-love.. my s-sunshine.. m-my everything.. why? w-why did this happen to us?" jennie broke down, her body crashed down the carpet as she cried even harder. she did not expect everything to happen. she was just waiting for her wife to come home on christmas eve. she recalled how her wife knocked through the door solidly, but as she opened the wooden entryway, she already knew. she already knew that the entity infront of her is all her wife and also nothing like her wife in one.
she didn't know that only one drunk driver will be the cause of all these downfalls. her lisa is well, she is very excited to come home to her wife but the unexpected swerving of a drunk driver's car will cause the shattered dreams, crumpled future, and tomorrows without her wife.
but the heavens love lisa so much. she is the best woman you could ever ask for, and so they let her be with her wife for the next few days, until the last second of the year will pass.
jennie always knew that her talent would never benefit her. until that day she saw her wife on her doorstep, with an incorporeal body that she couldn't comprehend.
and she did not go to her wife's funeral. her and lisa's family understood what she is going through so they didn't mind. but to jennie, she didn't attend because she know that her wife is with her. instead, they prepared for this very moment, a dinner with her that they have planned out ever since the month of december started. she pushed it through, even though her wife couldn't change into the dress she wants her to wear on this day, even though she can't take in the food jennie spent hours preparing, even though she can't drink the wine jennie has chosen that reminded them the first wine they drank as a married couple, and even though they couldn't dance to the beat of their favorite music.
she pushed it through, because she knew. that atleast, her wife is here.
"i-i couldn't, lisa..." jennie sobbed as she plead, lisa is kneeling infront of her, she also had the same thoughts as jennie.
"i couldn't live without you, lisa..." jennie's eyes have all sorts of emotions written on it, except happiness.
"i couldn't too, jennie..." she looked up when she heard lisa speak. she didn't know this until now. she didn't know that ghosts can cry, until she saw her wife looking at her with tears on her eyes.
"i couldn't leave without you, jennie..." as she heard what lisa speak, she already knew what was coming. she shook her head repeatedly as she mutter no, no, no many times in a row. "but i need to, my love..."
"lisa, n-no... stay here, baby, no... lisa.." jennie prayed to all gods, if there are more than one, that can hear her to make lisa stay. she just couldn't bear knowing that her wife is already gone, and even more so, her soul is bidding her goodbye.
lisa stood up, she want to look at jennie for the last time, before going to the afterlife.
"no, lisa.. no, baby... i love you so much, please don't leave me.." jennie cried so hard that her heart would almost burst from her chest.
"i love you too, my baby... i promise to love you again and again on my next life.." she heard lisa said and as she look up at her wife for the last time, she gave her a sweet smile. a blinding light soon started to appear infront of her, it is almost impossible to keep her eyes on her wife. she closed her eyes for a short time and after she opened it, there is no more light, and no more lisa.
the house is in a very gloomy state and jennie is left alone, as the clock struck at 12, as she met the new year, her mind went back to the last year that had passed. they were very happy, they planned on getting an IVF for months now, they want to have a family of their own, but then this happened.
she stood up clutching on her chest, the heavy feeling inside her is still there and she doubt that it would leave her for the rest of her life.
she went to the dining room, where she and lisa just had dinner a few moments ago. it is in the same state as when they left it some time before to dance on the living room.
she picked up the wine glass from the table. she knew what to do.
she raised it in the air as she blankly stare at the plain ceiling.
"to next years without you, my love..." jennie drank the remaining wine on the glass in one go.
___________________________________
A/N. I hope you like this one, guys. I really love reading angst and it's really a pleasure to write one.
Thank you for being with me for the last year guys, thank you for making this collection grow and I hope you will continue supporting me as I write more shots.
Happy New Year! To next years with you, guys!!!