a/n: This is a 3.6k chapter/part to make up for the late update, but I'm pregnant (!!!) and I'm alive but I'm dead. alive, but dead. Don't forget to vote & happy reading!
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The moment Nina and Harry reunited might as well have been a scene out of a Netflix rom-com.
Having decided to surprise him in his California home a day before her expected arrival, Harry was quick to carry a beaming Nina and wrap his arms around her in a hug; "Can't bloody sleep without you anymore."
While they had their fair share of cuddles and "mandatory physical touching", Harry found joy in driving Nina to and from her shoots for a couple of days.
"Did you take your lunch?" He had asked her one morning, right as they were about to drive off.
"Lunch?"
And that was before Harry had ran back inside to fetch Nina her lunch that he had placed in Tupperware – chicken wrap sandwich with her favourite dressing that he had prepared.
For the second day, it was oatmeal with her favourite fruits chopped and a pinch of cinnamon, exactly how she liked her oatmeal.
It was when Nina realised that while Harry loved touring, working, and travelling all around the world, he still cherished the domestic life.
In his Bode Calorie print Louie shirt with a white tank top underneath and cream-coloured trousers, Harry walked beside Nina to where he was supposed to meet up with Zane Lowe and crew for his interview with Apple Music.
"Are you sure me being here is okay?" Nina asked him quietly.
She stood beside him in a white tank top, white culotte trousers, white sneakers, with a short gold chain necklace that made her skin and outfit pop. Harry let out a short chuckle, "Why wouldn't it?"
Nina gave him a shrug, "I don't know."
"Can you just accept that I'm clingy right now and wouldn't like you being back home alone?"
At this, Nina's lips shifted to a smile, looking up at Harry. "Just wanted you to say that you're clingy, honestly."
"Oh, bugger off!" He scoffed jokingly, elbowing her as she laughed.
"You're so far up my arse." Nina continued, getting close to his face and going as far as cupping his cheeks when he tried to turn away while trying to stifle his smile.
Harry raised an eyebrow at her, "We haven't tried that."
"Jesus!" She threw her head back.
"No way!" They heard, both turning to see Zane coming with a grin and open arms, "I knew I was meeting Harry, but you," he pointed at Nina, "Long time no see, Miss Nina."
Nina laughed, hugging the man, "Needed to keep an eye on that baby right here."
"Of course." Harry replied sarcastically before hugging Zane, "How are you?"
"Fantastic, honestly," Zane replied, "Thank you for doing this."
"Thank you for having me."
"Zane gives the best interviews ever," Nina said, "I feel like the setting is enough to prove that."
Gesturing towards their surroundings, the three of them took a moment to listen to the waves and enjoy the weather for a split second, the sun having had just started to set.
"Alright, we gotta hurry if we want some sunset in the footage." The cameraman said.
Putting on the mics and some touchups, Harry and Zane shortly began the interview, with Nina standing beside the cameraman with a smile on her face that she wasn't aware of.
"Why did you connect with California?" Zane began as they sat opposite to one another, "I mean you could have gone to an airport and handpick anywhere in the world and started to some degree again right but you chose to come here."
With an elbow leaning on the table they were seated at, Harry replied, "For me, honestly I think like, so many of my close friends, people from London who've moved here for work and stuff like that. It's like, I'd say since I left home I have I've never really had the place that feels like, oh that's- that's my home. I'd say my house in London is the most homely that I feel anywhere..."
Watching Harry talk, evidently appearing calm and comfortable, put Nina in a state that she couldn't describe, but she was pretty sure she was in love.
His hands moved as he talked, pink and baby blue nail polish popping with his rings. It wasn't until she noticed that he had on the pearl necklace she gave him on that Nina reflexively had her hand reaching to be placed on her heart.
"There was a point I guess where I realised I was more comfortable being on the road."
"That's what you do? Up to five days did you head back off again?" Zane asked.
"Yeah, and I was like happy to get to go, you know?" Harry said with a light laugh.
"I think it's actually understandable. I think there's something about that kind of gypsy lifestyle," Zane said, "But as you get somewhat more comfortable and into the solo life, has that been easier? To just stay in for a few days?"
"Yeah," Harry replied instantly with a nod, hands beginning to move, "I think at some point I also realised that there's some kind of-a kind of essence to it. Just staying in with someone, no deadlines, no writing, no projects, even just for a short time, you know? I feel like," he took a breath in, collecting his thought, "I feel like it also helps with how you mentally are as an artist. In the music, the tracks, the way you look at your work."
"Yeah, I understand that. And it also helps you connect to those around you, and not miss out on so many things, but as a kid were you looking further afield even when you're gone?"
"I don't know if I was, really. I had never been to London before I moved there which is crazy to me to think about now. You know, it's not that far away from where I grew up, that's like a three-hour drive but London was like, where the rich kids went shopping on the weekends like that with their mum or something, you know? But also everything about it felt- felt like it was like this is a new challenge and if it takes me to London then," Harry gestured with his hand before giving a shrug.
Oblivious to Nina taking out her phone, she smiled as she took a few pictures of Harry for keepsake before beginning to record a short video – after making sure she silenced her phone – moving to record the Californian beach before smoothly showing Zane and Harry for 3 seconds, before putting the phone back in her pocket to listen and watch.
"I wish I surfed more. I-actually the waves out here are really intent," Harry chuckled, "And I think the last time I surfed was here and I got absolutely beaten up, I kept like, flipping. Just terrible." Harry glanced at Nina for a second, dimple shown as he smiled wider when he saw her trying to stifle her laughter with her hand over her mouth, knowing well that he referred to the last time they were in California together when they both decided to surf, Harry having then found out that Nina knew how to surf, while he only kept falling and flipping – and she has the videos to prove it.
"...there was a part of me where I felt like all of the decisions I've made as an adult that affected my life, and what I had-what I was doing with my life had been made as a group and I think there was a part of me that felt like I wanted to make some decisions for myself," Harry spoke, gesturing towards himself, "where it was like, you never really had to make the decision because I could-I could put my hat in the ring but still be like, oh! Majority rules and I got outvoted. I felt like I need to make some decisions that just affect me."
Nina's heart fluttered with pride, watching the man she was in love with talk so freely and openly about how he felt and how he wished to experience his life as an adult, admiring how well-spoken Harry was.
"I'd say my gut is the only thing that I do trust in terms of people." Harry said.
"That's really important, right? I mean, there's only two rules you should really live by; instinct and diligence, right? One gets you into the room, the second one makes you double-check and make sure you should stay there." Zane agreed, adding.
"I can also tell because the times where I've ever been like really, really upset by people is when I'm more upset with myself when I've got it wrong," Harry added, making Nina almost scoff, "'Cause I feel like I have a really- I'm like- I feel like I'm a pretty good judge of character and that's the only time I feel myself get really upset with stuff like that. It's where you're like, oh I trust this person on, you know? I feel like they're good then it goes the other way and you're kind of like," he sighed, tilting his head to the side, "I got that wrong and then I end up like really bummed out about it for a while."
Harry's words hit Nina enough to have the small smile on her face falter.
She believed that she was a good judge of character once, but then love happened, and to hear these words coming from Harry after the situation they were in, felt more personal.
"Yeah, that's classic hard-on-yourself syndrome to be honest with you, you know? Taking other people's bullshit and blaming yourself." Zane laughed.
Attacked. That was how Nina felt. She almost laughed at herself but refrained as to not disturb.
"I would assume you're a good friend, you're a loyal person." Zane said after they had talked about therapy.
Glancing at Nina for a split of a second, Harry smiled. "Try to be."
Nina smiled at him as she took a deep breath, exhaling it out slowly to her calm her down.
"So, who are some of your best friends? Who are the people that help you through these times? They are some of the people that, you know, really that you're close to." Zane asked, arms resting on his knee.
"I'm pretty lucky actually with- with that stuff because-" Harry paused, "And it's probably why I didn't go to therapy earlier is because I have those friends where I'll have the same conversation that I would have with a therapist," he said.
"I was at this talk thing where Alain de Botton was talking and he was talking about how like, real friendship is just built on vulnerability. The second you open up to someone with like, a real thing, is when you actually get to know someone. So I definitely got- if there was someone that I was friends with and I felt like I want to be like, close to them, just open up really kind of straight away and doing that has definitely caused me to become much closer with like, just people-just my- all of my friends in general I'd say."
"And has that helped with relationships? Because, I feel like vulnerability is an important factor in terms of, you know, determining if something is long-term or like, serious, or not. It just- opening up to someone like that, romantically, is also huge." Zane asked, motioning with his hand as he glanced at the sea before looking back at Harry.
"Uh, yeah," Harry nodded, "It hasn't always been easy, you know? Sometimes, it just doesn't happen, like, you're just never comfortable to share these parts of yourself with someone," he said, "But then, somebody comes in your life and you're just like," he smiled, putting up his pointer finger, "Ah! That makes sense."
"Like they don't shame you for being vulnerable."
"Yeah, and it's just easy, you know?" Harry gave a shrug, "Talking about things that are just very- that just put you out there. It's important in a relationship, and I'm just," he smiled, giving Zane another shrug, "Lucky."
As Harry and Zane began talking about Golden, Nina had decided to move, only to have her eyes widen once she accidentally bumped her foot into a chair, looking up instantly like a deer caught in headlights before letting out a small sigh of relief when nobody said anything and the interview went on. (22:56 in the interview)
"Watermelon Sugar, which at this point is out and you performed on SNL, and everyone's kind of figured out what it's about- the joys of, you know, mutually appreciated oral pleasure." Zane said slowly with a smile, Harry letting out a laugh.
Giving Nina cheeky side-eye, Harry let out a giggle, "Is that what it's about?"
"Is it?" Zane asked jokingly.
"I don't know." Harry replied, looking down and shifting in his seat.
"That's what everybody's saying."
"Oh."
Nina was a bashful mess, aware of the crew trying to stifle their amused laughter and giggles at her when she covered her face with her hands as a weak attempt to hide.
Moving to talk about sex, Nina listened and watched as Harry also mentioned how he felt like it couldn't be thought of that he had sex while in the band, and how he feels freer with the topic now.
"I think a lot of the time with like, when there's like, tabloid stuff for example of, like, people breaking up and you know, it's like, I think people forget that there's like, a person who's also broken up with someone which is sad. Or when somebody gets into a relation, there's someone who just like, isn't used to or like, comfortable in that spotlight." Harry said.
"Yeah, especially if the person you're with isn't really in the industry like that." Zane said.
"Yeah," Harry agreed.
"Do you think this makes you, you know, protective of that person? Like, you're a private person, so do you feel like you just want something that the whole world doesn't know about?"
Harry hummed as he thought before gesturing towards himself, "I feel like I'm protective of those I love, like, in general. Just that when it's tabloids, you don't want to see the person you love's name painted wrong or receiving hate online or all that, but it isn't that I want to keep it from the world, you know? It's more about finding a common ground where you're both comfortable and nobody's getting hurt."
Sitting on the chair she had bumped earlier, Nina's head tilted sideways slightly as she smiled at what Harry said.
"It feels to me this album – and excuse me if I'm being too personal but, based on the music it feels like a breakup record and in some aspects it's one particular song like song called Cherry, which is crazy I mean cutting right to it you know with some real imagery of losing someone to someone else and they're still being that remnant of your relationship moving into a new space which is right at the core of heartbreak," Zane spoke, "...it feels to me like it's quite specific in referencing your- the relationship you've been in."
"Yeah, and it's kind of like- it's a weird one for me because I'm always like, you know, I don't like to kind of explain songs or like, kind of explain the meaning behind them and stuff like that but I think with this record it's so much more open yeah that it's like, but you've told us," Harry chuckled, "Like it tells you what it is..."
"...who's this speaking at the end? What's the voice at the end?" Zane asked.
"That was my ex-girlfriend."
"That's interesting and I think it's super cool that you lift that in obviously from a sort of imagery point of view because I love all that stuff I love hearing things that revolve around music and not necessarily just tied to a structure but the decision to keep, you know, your ex-girlfriend speaking at the end of the song is like so blunt and so straight out – excuse me if I'm being too personal, again," Zane chuckled, "But how did that make your girlfriend feel? Because I know that you've been in a relationship for a while now, and it's going great," Zane gestured towards Harry.
Harry smiled with a nod before sucking in a breath, "I remember one night," he eyes the ground, speaking slowly as he recalled the moment, "My girlfriend, Nina, and I were just talking on the phone,"
At him mentioning her name so straightforwardly, Nina felt like she was close to standing and just going over to kiss him. Hell, she didn't know having to stay so quiet during this interview would be that crucial.
"And she was eating Cheetos, and we were just, like, talking about what we had for lunch and dinner and talking about our day," Harry smiled as he talked, looking back up at Zane, "And I felt a little nervous but I asked her about how she'd feel about me putting a song about my ex on my album and she just-" He laughed wholeheartedly, eyes twinkling before he gave a shrug, "She just looked at me and was like, is that it?"
Zane laughed, stealing a look at Nina who, too, had a hard time containing her smile.
"And she was like, that's your music," Harry put his thumb and pointer together as he emphasised with a grateful smile, "You do whatever the fuck you want to do with it, I won't be limiting how you express yourself." (pt. 16 for reference)
Zane let out an "oof", shaking his head with a smile, "How did that make you feel?"
"Pretty great," Harry replied cheekily with a beaming smile, "But it really did feel great to have- to be with someone who's like that, you know?"
"There's a song called Falling on the record, which the first time I heard it was like, everyone was just floored. And it's a real standout, it's gonna become something I think, that people will carry with them, respective of the context of the album, though zero in on that song as well, and um, tom was telling me that that was- that came super fast." Zane said.
Harry hummed in confirmation before beginning to tell Zane about the 20-minute process of writing Falling.
"What do you think that came from the subject matter if it came so quick? What do you think it was saying in that song listening back to it now?"
"I think for me it was what I hadn't experienced before writing it. Like, it was a rough patch in my life, seeing myself in a situation which I never really thought I'd be put in, you know? I think it's like, part of that vulnerability we talked about because at some point I needed to do that with myself, too, you know? And like, when I felt good and I felt happy we're like the happiest I've ever felt in my life and the times when I felt sad was like the lowest that I've ever felt in my life."
"Yeah, and it's just so strong but it also kind of falls under the heartbreak radar, doesn't it? Getting your heart broken by someone?"
Harry took a breath, "I mean, yeah, sure, it can be interpreted like that. Or like, being the reason behind that heartbreak yourself, you know?"
Zane blew some air, eyebrows raised up, "Yeah, I get that."
Smiling when Harry first mentioned his mum, Anne, Nina made sure to record that part all the way to when Harry said that Anne was the best, instantly sending it to Gemma with a text that read: "exclusive content!"
"...how have your priorities shifted and what are the things that really come into focus for you now?"
"My relationship probably is the most important thing to me," Harry answered instantly, "And like, the people I'm really close with- friendships..."
"You had fun making this album," Zane said.
"Yeah, so much fun." Harry agreed.
"What was the most fun memory of making this album?"
"I'd say probably my favourite memory from- from making this album was the day we wrote Sunflower Volume 6," Harry answered with a faint smile, "I felt like a young kid that day, called Tom and was like, I have a song. And we edited it together and wrote and it was done quickly, and I remember being so happy with it because of- because of the memory it brings back."
"What sort of memory?" Zane asked with a smile.
Harry, not trying to be discreet, looked at Nina, "Nina and I had our first kiss when we were cooking breakfast that morning," he confessed, and if it weren't for Nina's wide smile and bashful face, he would've regretted it.
Zane laughed gleefully, "You mention that in the song, don't you? Kiss in the kitchen like it's a dancefloor?"
"Yeah," Harry answered with a shy grin before perking up, "It was great."
"It's amazing how love does all that, like you mentioned that your first kiss made you feel like a kid, and it just feels nostalgic, you know? Working up the courage to kiss the person you like, the butterflies, all that."
Harry nodded with pursed lips, "It's a wonderful feeling, really."
After discussing more topics, Zane and Harry were wrapping up the interview.
Looking at Harry with a smile, "Thanks for the time, bro." Zane said.
With a grin, Harry replied, "Thank you."
"And cut!"
Harry and Zane shared a hug, Zane thanking Harry for the interview and sharing a laugh as Harry looked at Nina, reaching one arm out to signal for her to join.
"How did you like that?" Zane asked her once she joined them, Harry looking down at her with a grin as he put his hand on her back.
Offering her hand for a handshake, Zane put his hand in hers before Nina placed her other hand on top, "You are the only person allowed to interview Harry."
//
I want to say that writing this made me realise how much Harry says "like"