"You want to know the shittiest part about all of this? All our friends, come to find out were basically his..." Camila tossed him the weighted medicine ball.
They were doing sit ups and when she passed him the ball, he was hold it and do a sit up. They did this interchangeable. Shawn figured it made sense to get in a workout while he was training her. She was now little more independant didn't need him standing right there to guide her. He'd showed her how to use the machines and he watched from a distance as she completed the prescribe workout exercises.
"That's pretty shitty... " Shawn said as he now handed her the medicine ball.
They completed their reps and Camila couldn't help that all the girls were checking him out, all the time. He was in great shape and although she didn't yet have abs like him, she did feel that her stomach was more toned. Overall, she felt like she had more energy and maybe it was the workouts gave her endorphins, as Shawn explained, or maybe it was that her days were no longer consumed with thoughts of her ex boyfriend.
After their workout, they grabbed a bite to eat, he went over to her apartment to "assess" the damage.
"These... all have to go..." Shawn said looking at her shoe collection.
"They're comfortable..."
"Do you own... any heels?"
"No... what do I need heels for?"
Shawn shook his head. "You have more of these?" He pointed to her overalls.
"They're comfortable..."
"Clearly comfort is more important to you than style..."
"I have style..."
"You have the style of a female Mr.Rogers..." Shawn quipped.
His remarks no longer cut her as deep, rather they were tiny tidbits of truths, she supposed. "These..."
"Are his..." Camila frowned. "I don't know why I still have them..."
"Do you have other things... that belong to him?"
Camila pointed to a cardboard box in the corner. "Can I?"
She nodded and he walked over and opened the box. It was full of a smattering of things that made no sense to him but he could clearly see photos of them. The girl he saw in these pictures was smiling, but didn't look happy."
"I feel weird just throwing them away.. I don't know...." Camila said sadly. He nodded and closed the box. "We'll find something... as for you... make a pile. Clothes you want to keep and clothes you don't want... and I better not find more than one pair of overalls in the keep pile..."
She groaned and got to work while he sat at her kitchen table on his laptop. Somewhere along the way he wandered around the apartment and saw photos of when Camila was younger. There was one with someone she thought was her dad and it was cute. The smile on her face was adorable. He knew her parents and her sister lived a couple hours away.
"You look like your dad,"Shawn called out.
"Yeah? Thanks..."
She showed him the pile and it was a back and forth with a couple items but they would do. He put the unwanted items in a trash bag and then sighed. "I don't know if I want to see your underwear drawer..."
"Underwear? What does underwear have to do with anything?"
"Underwear represents intention..... Lace and silk say "I want to get laid" while cotton and polyester say "I just want to sleep..."
"Well, sorry to break it to you, I don't have any silk or lace..." Camila sighed.
"We should fix that..."
"Shawn, I don't want to just get laid.. I want.. a relationship...like a meaningful connection with someone" Camila protested.
Shawn had no idea why she'd want that but he explained further. "Is sex not part of a meaningful relationship and connection with someone?"
Camila thought for a moment. He wasn't wrong.
"What was you and this guy's sex life like?"
Camila felt her face turn red and Shawn was confused. If she'd been with this guy for 8 years why would the topic of sex make her blush.
"I mean... we had sex..."
"How often?"
"Uh... once a month... maybe?"
"Once a month?"
"Our scheduled didn't mesh..."
"Sex is not something that should be scheduled.. it should be spontaneous and passionate..."
"Yeah, Austin wasn't really a spontaneous type of guy.. he's more particular..."
"I want to ask what that means but I also fear that I don't want to know..."
"Have you had sex since the breakup?"
She shook her head.
"Not even with yourself?"
Camila turned a brighter shade of red and shook her head. She had zero sexual urges because she'd been mostly preoccupied with managing depression.
"Okay... we're dropping these bags off at The Goodwill and then we're going to remedy this situation..."
Camila had no idea what she was talking about until they were standing in front of a sex store.
"I am not going in there..."
"Why not?"
"It's.... weird..."
"It's not that weird, come on..."
"Shawn, like I said, I'm not really... interested at this point in having sex with anyone.."
"I hear you, this isn't for anyone, it's for yourself..." Shawn said. "Now get it together and act like you've been here before."
It was hard to act like that. Everywhere she looked there were things that made her blush.
He led her to a wall and pulled something off the wall. "This will change your life..."
Kill me now...
She looked at it curiously and what made it worse is that an attendant came over to discuss the features of this vibrator like it was a car and she did it with a completely straight face, while using the words like stimulation, clitoral, and climax. It it was possible for her face to melt, this would be the moment.
Shawn couldn't figure out why a 30 year old was so standoffish when it came to sex but he somehow feared that maybe 8 years of being with that asshole had completely stunted not just her emotional and personal growth, but her sexual pleasure as well.
Shawn picked out some lacy red panties and some deep purple silk ones. She had to feel sexy on her own before she could feel it with someone else or even believe it.
"I think I need a drink," she said when they left the store.
"I could go for a drink. It'll be the perfect place for our next lesson."
"Shawn... no more lessons for today..." she groaned.
"Fine, but you're going to have to learn how to put yourself out there. That dating app is like fishing for losers and you can't rely on it..."
They enjoyed a drink and she couldn't help but notice how everyone looked at her with him. She could probably tell what they were thinking. What's a girl who looks like that, doing with a guy who looks like him?
Shawn didn't notice everyone else looking but he noticed the way Camila looked. "What's wrong?"
"Everyone is staring...." Camila muttered. He looked around and saw no one staring.
She wished she'd worn more than this cardigan, oversize shirt, and jeans. Shawn wore jeans and sweater but somehow everything he wore looked amazing.
"Hold on..." He walked away and walked up to a beautiful girl with bright red lipstick and caramel colored hair. Was he really just leaving her to hit on some girl?
He motioned to her and the girl looked. She nodded and they both walked towards her. "This is April, you're going to go with her for a bit..."
Camila went into the bathroom with April. "First things first, can we tie up your shirt?"
She nodded and let April tie her shirt into a knot so just the tiniest bit of her stomach was showing. At least now she'd worked out so it wasn't awful. "Let's let your hair down..." Camila took the clip off her hair and now that her hair was shorter it was easier to manage. April wet her fingers with water and ran her hair through Camila's. "Lean over..." She did and then when she picked her hair up, it had more body and volume. April pulled out some lipstick. "I.. don't think red is my color..."
"Red is everyone's color, especially yours. Pout your lips a bit.." Camila did as she was instructed and April applied red lipstick. The last task was taking her cardigan and wrapping it around her waist.
She looked in the mirror and April was right. Camila had never been so bold as to wear red lipstick but it looked good on her. "You look hot."
"I do?"
"Definitely..." she said. Camila exited the bathroom and was startled to get a light slap on her ass.
Shawn looked up from his phone and smiled. "Excuse me, have you seen my friend Camila?"
Camila laughed. "Very funny..." The fact that he'd referred to her as a friend gave her a small sense of pride.She was proud that someone like him would be friends with someone like her.
"Do you feel better?"
She nodded. Everyone was still staring but now it was for a different reason.
While Shawn was in the bathroom he's paid a guy 20 bucks to buy Camila drink. Camila didn't know this so when a guy sent over a drink and raised it to her, she smiled. "Did he just buy me a drink?" Camila asked.
"Play it cool.." Shawn said and she smiled and waved awkwardly. It made Shawn laugh but also it made him realize how much work he had to do.
"Did this boyfriend of yours ever tell you that you were beautiful? Gorgeou? Breathtaking? Sexy? Hot?
Camila thought for a moment. "Beautiful... Nice...sweet...... that was about the extent of it..."
Shawn sighed. "Women deserved to be told things like that but it makes no difference if you don't actually believe it. Camila, do you think you're beautiful?"
Camila wilted and shook her head and gave a noncommittal shrug that she knew Shawn would hate.. "Say it, I'm beautiful..."
"Doesn't that sound conceited?"
"No... it sounds like self-love..." Shawn remarked. "Now, say it..."
"I'm beautiful..." she said sheepishly.
"I'm going to pretend that was convincing, but you've had enough for the day. I'm going to take you home and then I have a date with Destiny..."
"Really? Destiny, do guys really say that? It sounds so cliche..." Camila scoffed.
"No, her name is literally Destiny... now.. get out of my car..." he shooed playfully.
"Thank you..."
Shawn waved her off. She put the bag with the vibrator and the panties down on the couch and stared at herself in the mirror. "You're beautiful."
It sounded foreign to her even if she'd heard it from him before.
"You're.. beautiful.." she said more forcefully.
Halloween was in two days so she curled up on the sofa and watched Hocus Pocus. She tried not to think about how the single people of the world were probably out having fun... single people like Shawn.
Shawn was having the time of his life, buried deep in Destiny. When he was finished, he left her apartment and sat on his couch. He had insomnia sometimes and this was a pretty serious bout of it.
It was also nearing the anniversary of something he'd rather forget.
He sighed and turned on Hocus Pocus and tried to focus and then he laughed at himself for rhyming in his head. Camila would think that was funny, he thought.
He made a mental note to ask what her plans were for Halloween.
Author's note: HOCUS POCUS!