The sound of Marley's solo footsteps walking down the long driveway with no one chasing after her followed her into her dreams. The chill from the Reigns house permeated the walls of Thea's. Marley tossed and turned as echoes bounced off her subconscious, things said right to her face the night before manifested as nightmares.
She kept the blankets pulled tight around her as her shoulders curved inwards, her core shaking in the imaginary chill that had sunk into her bones.
Her heart hurt. Her head was filled with images alternating between the grand splendor of the last week and her homey little apartment back in the city.
Suddenly she couldn't sleep without Gabbie's light snores coming from the other side of the room, without Stella's steady breathing to harmonize with her own. Suddenly her room for the week felt three sizes too big, the ceilings too tall, the walls too bare.
She missed the sound of her father typing on his keyboard late into the night just beyond her bedroom door, the soft reminders from her mother for him to get some sleep. The guilty thought of their little blue spruce Christmas tree standing, waiting for them, in the window of their living room, keeping watch under they returned, kept her from sleep.
It was only once the winter sun started to peek through the blinds that Marley's body finally gave in and let her sleep.
Marley stirred when Gabbie's quick footsteps passed her door at a rate too high for so early in the morning. She stirred once again as Stella's familiar slow tread passed by but didn't awaken for either of them. It was only when Gabbie's persistent banging on Marley's door jerked her awake that Marley became aware that the night had finally faded away.
A thought of staying in bed all day kept Marley in place. But then the thought of her sisters coming to investigate, asking questions about the night before quickly poked holes in that idea. Even at the party that night (an unpleasant thought that soon rushed to the forefront of her mind to join the host of other unpleasant thoughts that had already taken up residence), she couldn't avoid it, not without disappointing Christian and igniting the curiosity of her sisters. Things needed to seem normal, just fine, if she was going to make it through the day.
Marley had no choice but to finally get out of bed when Gabbie's banging came once more, followed by the cry of "The stylists are here!" Marley gave one long look at her suitcase in the corner of her room and finally pulled herself out of bed.
The excitement of the stylists return offered enough of a distraction that the dark circles under Marley's eyes were not commented on, merely covered up. Gabbie chatted enough for the three of them, Stella offering in her own comments here and there when she felt like it, that Marley's silence was not noticed.
Except by Thea, who reigned over the scene with a hawk-like eye. She moved between the three stations, whispering one thing here to these hair stylists, another to that make-up artist.
She held Marley's gaze in the mirror Marley was seated in front of but Marley was the first to look away, her fingernails suddenly requiring her attention.
She had expected to find herself, once more, dressed up like a doll, trying desperately to find something in the standing mirror in front of her that resembled herself. Instead, she found...
Herself.
Or at least, a version of herself.
Was this what she would have looked like if she had grown up in this world, Felix's world, Thea's world?
She was wearing a ball gown because why not? There were shorter options, more comfortable options but it was time to go big. She was ready to go home.
The black was accented with gold embroidery and the skirt shimmered when Marley moved. Thea appeared at her shoulder and nodded approvingly.
A warning of ten minutes was given until the cars were to arrive and Stella and Gabbie were in the kitchen leaning over the counter, trying to eat something without getting it on their dresses. Marley excused herself and left the stylists to clean up. With her matching heels in hand, Marley raced upstairs.
She only caught her breath once inside her room and in sight of her suitcase.
Gabbie had unpacked the minute they had arrived, filling the dresser drawers and closets with her clothes as if she lived there. Stella had hung up a thing or two and placed the books she had brought with her on the nightstand. Everything Marley had brought with her still resided in her suitcase, or somewhere nearby. She had done nothing to move into her temporary home for the week.
She didn't realize that she had been holding onto the bed frame as if for dear life until Thea's figure appeared in the closet's tall mirrored doors.
"Last night didn't go well, did it?"
It was barely a question. From the sympathy Marley found in her grandmother's eyes, it was as if she had been there, at the dinner, sitting next to her.
Marley shook her head.
"No. It did not."
Thea sighed and slowly entered the room.
"I can't say I'm surprised. I had hoped for the best but...."
Marley tried smiling but let Thea's gaze hang unmet in the mirror.
"I don't get it," Marley said to the ground.
"What don't you get?"
"You get along with them."
Thea hesitated, choosing her words with care.
"I get along with Fiona but we are friendly at best. Even that relationship I have to work rather hard at."
"But Felix...."
Marley let her words fail as she could hear the hitch in her voice.
"Felix is bound by more familial pressure and expectations than I'll ever be able to understand. The life he wants to lead and the life he is expected to lead are two very different things. I feel for that boy. He does not have an easy journey ahead of him."
Marley's body collapsed against the corner of her four-poster bed.
"I think you're mother had it right the day she decided to run away and marry Christopher against my wishes."
Marley stood up straight again, shock forcing her to.
Thea smiled at the wide-eyed look Marley sent her way.
"Don't tell your mother I said that."
Marley almost felt like laughing. Had Thea made a joke?
"There's a... lightness to the three of you girls. A joy that I don't see in any of my other grandchildren. I think that's why I wanted you here with me for the holidays, to brighten up a season that was destined to be rather bleak without your grandfather. That's why I would like you to work with me at the family company. It's so strict that some new blood could do it some good."
Thea noticed Marley held her breath. Her smile was now sadder than it had been.
"But you won't. I know you won't. I wasn't lying when I said I saw your grandfather in you. I see your mother, too. And just like the two of them, you need to find your own way."
Thea moved in close and reached out for Marley's hand, taking it lightly in her own.
"I'm going to tell you what I should have told your mother, all those years ago."
She inhaled, squaring her shoulders, her head held high.
"You will always have a place here. No matter what you choose to do with your life, who you choose to love, my door is always open to you, Marley. Always."
Thea squeezed Marley's hand and Marley squeezed back. It was the closest thing to a hug Marley had ever experienced from her grandmother.
Marley said goodbye and a Happy New Year to Thea before descending the stairs. The foyer was empty. Nearly empty.
Gabbie and Stella must have already left for the party and when Marley's heels clicked against the tile, it was the only sound raising to the high ceilings above as she approached her date where he stood leaning against the front door.
"Thanks for waiting," Marley said. Her hand reached out to straightened his bow tie.
"Of course. Shall we?"
Christian bowed slightly to offer Marley his arm and led her outside to where a car was waiting for them.
Marley's stomach clenched as soon as the wheels beneath them started to roll forward. Her hand shot out to find Christian's and she could feel him hesitate before it wrapped around hers.
The scenery flew by, the white snow luminescent under the full moon. A fresh coat had fallen that morning and the Hamptons were showing off.
Marley watched it go by, her eyes absorbing every last detail as if this were the last time she would ever see such beauty.
"What am I missing, Christian? What am I not getting?"
She spoke her question to the car window. She didn't need to explain to Christian what she meant. She had a feeling he already knew how the night before had gone. There was a sympathy she saw in his eyes that matched Thea's.
"Nothing, Marley. It's not about you. None of this is. Your just an innocent bystander who got in the way of family dynamics that have been raging war for generations."
Marley turned at the sadness in his voice. She made sure her next words came out in love, soft and easy, not a trace of judgment or condemnation to be found.
"How can you love her?"
Christian sighed and his own eyes flew to the window.
"Winter has been fighting her whole life to be taken seriously. That takes a toll on a person. It's made her smarter, hard-working, ambitious, and determined. But also... She gets what it's like. She's the only person I know who does. This life. The pressure. Family expectations."
His last words were causing a wrinkle in Marley's brain, a new train of thought suddenly erupting, something she had never considered. Winter and Christian were in the same situation. How had she never seen that before?
"You're getting the nice Grandma Thea. She hasn't always so warm and inviting."
Marley would have laughed at the thought of Thea as warm and inviting if Christian's face wasn't covered in shadow.
"She wasn't always like this. I have responsibilities and expectations just because I was born a Clausen. Winter gets that."
"And I never will."
Christian shook his head.
"No. You won't. You got it easy, Marley."
Christian had to squeeze her hand to get her to meet his eye.
"But that's the best part about you. You're not like them. You're not like... me. And you never will be."
The car rolled to a stop just as Christian's words hit Marley square in the chest. She hadn't noticed that they had driven up a long driveway to stop in front of the biggest house Marley had ever seen.
From every window and through the front door, sounds and lights from the party poured out into the night. Inside was the last Hamptons holiday party Marley ever planned on attending.
She gave Christian's hand one last squeeze, squared her shoulders, and stepped out into the night.