Lazily draping her arms over Callie's shoulders, Avery's eyes drift across the room as she sways along to the music. She can't help but to be completely aware of where Ethan is every time they're in the same room. It's ridiculous, once again letting her eyes travel over the crowd, searching his gaze to see if he's watching her too.
She swallows back the lump of disappointment in her throat as she finds that his focus is elsewhere. Beginning to regret turning down that shot of whatever alcoholic beverage Lea pushed into her hand earlier tonight, her eyes linger on him a moment more – but he's soon tapped on the shoulder by one of his friends, disappearing out of her view as he follows them into the adjoining room.
An exhale, sounding far too close to a sigh, escapes her lips. It's strange going from being around someone every day to no longer seeing them at all. A few weeks ago Ethan Taylor was someone she spoke to every day. Now they act like they've never been anything but strangers.
Their exchanged 'hi's aside, they haven't said a word to each other all night long. They always seem to be on opposite sides of a room, if they aren't in opposites sides of the house. Almost as if both of them have been moving in circles to avoid running into each other again.
Stepping back from Callie, Avery speaks over the upbeat song playing through the speakers. "I'm going to go sit with Luke for a bit."
"Okay!"
Crossing the room, her lips crack into a smile as she sinks down in a seat on the armrest of the couch Luke's sat in talking to some people from their school. He tilts his head back to look at her, smile mirroring her own. She shakes her head as he offers her his cup, leaning her elbow on his shoulder as she listens with half an ear to the conversation between the group, eyes drifting across the room again, settling on Ethan just as he reappears through a doorway.
Pressing her teeth together, she watches as he runs a hand through his hair before throwing his head back in a laugh. Chest heavy as it rises and falls with her breath, audibly blowing air out her nose in an exhale as he leans closer to the girl on the receiving end of his smile.
"Earth to Ave."
Slowly turning her head over her shoulder, she glances at Luke. "What?"
"You're drooling."
She presses her lips together with a roll of her eyes as she tries to quell the warmth flushing her skin. "Shut up."
Luke, too, rolls his eyes with a raise of his brows and an uneasy laugh escapes her. She knows he's simply trying to get under her skin, teasing her in the same manner the two of them have their entire lives but as she slowly shakes her at him, she makes a silent vow to not look Ethan's way at all for the rest of the night.
She's barely been sat trying to actually engage in the conversation with the boys on the couch, doing her best to not let her eyes drift back to where she knows he's stood, for less than two minutes as Callie appears in front of her, grabbing her hand.
"We're going to the bathroom."
Letting herself be pulled to her feet, she flickers her head over her shoulder and glances across the room. Ethan pauses with the bottle held to his lips, her breath caught in her throat as his gaze catches hers. Her jaw clenches as she presses her teeth together. She didn't even last five minutes.
♡♡♡
"I want to make out with someone."
"I want to be on my couch. In my PJs."
Avery smiles, tilting her head back against the cupboard beneath the basin where she's sat with her legs stretched out long in front of her on the light brown tiled floor. "I want to stay in here for the rest of the night."
"Now what would be the fun in that?" Lea flushes the toilet, stepping over her friends to wash her hands. "That way we're up here while everyone else is down there."
"Exactly," Avery flickers her gaze to Callie where she lies on the floor with her legs kicked over the bathtub wall. "What do you say Cal? Let's stay here?"
Callie lifts her cup in a toast, a laugh spilling through her lips as she accidentally pours some beer to the floor. "We're staying."
"Two against one."
Lea sighs, shaking her head with a small smile as she takes her cup from where it's stood on the sink and drops into a seat between her two friends on the floor. "Five minutes. Then we'll go dance."
"No more dancing," Callie props herself up on her elbow, lifting her cup to her lips. "My feet hurt."
"I got you dancing once, I'll do it again," Lea drinks from her own cup before holding it out for Avery who shakes her head. "You sure?"
"Yeah, I'm good."
♡♡♡
Lea folds over, wiping mist from her eyes as her laughter slowly dies out. "Should we go see what the guys are doing?"
Avery coughs, clearing her throat to rid herself of the laughter threatening on the back of her tongue. A deep exhale leaves her lips. "Yeah I guess."
"Wait, I have to pee," Callie lifts her arms, pointing them towards the ceiling. "Help me up,"
Once on her feet, she glances down at her silk jumpsuit. "Oh fuck me."
A chortled noise escapes Avery as she leans against the door. "Don't rush on our account."
"Cute undies," Lea comments, her voice echoing against the inside of her plastic cup as Callie strips out of her clothes. "Now pee so we can get out of here."
♡♡♡
Lea stumbles over the threshold as she throws the bathroom door open, a loud cackling laugh escaping her lips as she falls to her knees. Laughing too, Avery and Callie pull the girl to her feet – all three shooting apologetic looks to the group stood waiting outside the bathroom.
Their laughter echoes against the walls all the way down the stairs, the three of them only beginning to catch their breaths once they walk into the living room.
"Wait," Avery pulls Callie to a stop with a tug by her hand, gently tucking in the tag sticking out of the neck of her jumpsuit. "There."
Callie flashes her a smile over her shoulder. "Thank you. Now should we get you a– Where did Lea go?"
Avery flickers her eyes over the room, pointing to the group of girls their friend is in the process of convincing to come dance with her, though no one else in here seems to be doing so. "Found her."
"Oh good," Callie lifts her cup. "I want a refill. You want something?"
"No, I'm good."
Eyes drifting away again, Avery spots Ethan as he walks through the room, picking up some trash while on his way and her lips pull into a faint smile as her gaze follows his path into the connecting hall she knows leads to the kitchen.
"Ave?"
Realizing Callie's begun to make her way across the room, she weighs back on her heels. "You go. I'll find you guys."
"What are you going to do?"
"I just – I'll be back."
♡♡♡
The dim light of the hall casts golden shadows across the carpeted floor as she flickers her eyes to the kitchen. The mumbled sound of voices in there, the sound of a cupboard opening and closing, of a group collapsing into laughter should be enough for her to turn on her heel and walk back the way she came but she continues down the hall on soft steps.
Pausing in the doorway, a shaky breath leaves her lips as she lets her head tilt agains the wooden doorframe. She flickers her eyes away from Ethan where he's stood with his back to her by the kitchen island to the group of girls lingering by the counter. One of them clutches a bowl of chips to her chest, the others carrying their cups as they turn on their heels, filing past her as they spill out into the hall in a huddle.
She turns her head over her shoulder, watching them leave before flickering her eyes towards the doorway on the opposite side of the kitchen for one quick moment before – finally – letting her gaze fall back to Ethan.
"Hi."
His shoulders slope over ever so slightly as he turns around, thumb hovering over the screen of his phone as his gaze meets hers. Jaw clenching, he drops it into the back pocket of his shorts. "Hi."
"Hi," She echoes as her eyes flicker over the kitchen, faint smile pulling at her lips at the sight of the dark green cupboard doors – landing on the one of the pantry. Looking at it now she's not exactly sure how she ended up walking straight into it that night two years ago. "Hi."
She notices a slight twitch to the corners of his mouth. "You said that already,"
It's far from the first time she's tracked him down on a party. He'd been right that night at the beach – she does have a habit of finding him at these things. Ever since they first spoke to each other in this very kitchen two years ago it seems they've fallen into a routine of appearing at one another's side, falling so easily into countering each other's quick remarks. Falling so easily into pushing each other's buttons.
But tonight – tonight's nothing like these past two years. Everything's different now.
Despite the slight relief washing over has she ventures into the room, the promise of a moment for just the two of them in arm's reach, she knows everything is different now. Knows it's more delicate.
He shifts on his feet as she pauses by the other end of the kitchen island. "I see you got your sweater."
"Yeah," Glancing down at the cropped cardigan, Avery pulls it closer around her with a careful smile. "Thank you. It's my favorite."
"I know."
Taking a step forward, she opens her mouth to ask how he is when instead she accidentally trips herself by sliding one of her legs out in front of the other. "Whoa."
Before she can topple to the floor, he's by her side, his hand closing around hers as he steadies her. She doesn't miss the amused flicker to his eyes as she lifts her gaze to his. He raises his brows with a twitch of his lips. "You okay?"
"Something about this kitchen."
"Or maybe you're just a klutz."
Her gaze falls to their intertwined hands, her palm melting so effortlessly into his where his fingers are laced around hers. Following her gaze, his lips slip out of their smile as if realizing they're still holding onto one another and he lets go as he takes a step back.
She runs her own palm down the skirt of her dress as she leans back against the counter of the kitchen island, trying to shake the odd sensation of something missing now that her hand is no longer enwrapped in the warmth of his.
He clears his throat, pushing his hand through his hair and she presses her lips together to hide the smile wanting to creep onto them as one of those short dark brown curls falls out of place. "How have you been?"
Mostly not that good.
"Good."
"That's good. That you've been good."
She nods slowly, biting down at her lip. "What about you?"
"Good."
"That's... good," Her chest rises and falls with her breath, a heaviness lingering upon it as she flickers her eyes away from his. Glancing over the room, it's interior in shades of green and gray, she pulls at the arm of her cardigan. "Haven't been here in a while."
"You're not planning to nosebleed all over the floor again, are you?"
Her lips automatically pull into a soft smile, the corners of her mouth pulling back further as her gaze returns to his, seeing that he's smiling too.
"Why did you even help me that night?" She asks, pulling at an already loose flake of her nail polish. "I was being such a brat to you."
There's a slight curve of amusement to the purse of his lips, that small crease she's come to know so well appearing between his brows as he regards her with a small tilt of his head. "Why do you think?"
She narrows her eyes at his tone, trying to make sense of his words – if he's implying what she thinks he is or if it's simply the quickening beat of her heart projecting the small sense of joy filling her body as she reflects over how easy it is to be stood here with him. Despite knowing, despite sensing, that slight heaviness hovering in warning above her, she finds herself breathing a little easier. There's a different sense of calm to her now, slipping through the cracks – steadying her breath, her mind, the beat of her heart.
She opens her mouth only to close it again, biting down at her lip.
They linger in the silence a moment longer as a few partygoers slip into the room through one of the doorways only to disappear through the other the next second – their voices loud and laughter louder. The silence folding over the room once they're gone is quite the contrast, the music and chatter from the rest of the house muffled inside these four walls.
Ethan reaches his hand up to his hair again, scratching the back of his neck. "I didn't realize you'd be here tonight."
"Yeah, me neither," She shrugs, intertwining her hands and stretching them out in front of her. "... I heard about your win."
"I think everyone did."
A feigned tired sigh leaves her lips as they crack into a smile, shaking her head slowly.
"Don't go all boastful on me," Her mouth fall into a softer line, but the skin creasing around her eyes still hint of the smile that was just on her lips. "Congrats. I heard it was quite a spectacular game."
His lips pull into a thoughtful pout, head slanted to the side as a glimmer comes to his eyes. "Don't go anywhere, I'll be back as soon as I've let everyone in the next room know how you just congratulated us on our win."
She takes a step forward, a cross of a sigh and a chortle escaping her lips as she laces her hand around his wrist to prevent him from spinning around on his heel. "You wouldn't dare."
"No?"
"No," She forces another breath out of her nose as his eyes fall to hers, suddenly aware of how close he is. She could easily lift her hand and sprawl her fingers through his hair with how close they're stood now. "And I wasn't congratulating the team. I was congratulating you."
His eyes flickers across her face, visibly swallowing as they dip to where her palm rests on his arm. "What are you doing in here Waters?"
She shrugs, eyes casting to her ballerina flats as she lets her hand fall back to her side. "I just wanted to–, I don't know. I miss talking to you," She lifts her gaze to meet his again. "I guess I just wanted to... do that."
There's a barely there nod to his head as he says, "I get that."
Lips twisting into a small quirk, he lifts his hand – carefully tucking a few errant strands of her hair behind her ear. Her throat grows dry, a shaky breath leaving her lips.
"Thanks."
The surrounding echoes of the ongoing party fade into ear-deafening silence as his eyes lock on hers, hand slowly falling to his side again. Heat runs though her, flushing her skin from the inside out as she stares into the dark pools of his eyes – the beat of her heart slow and steady but heavy in her chest. Her jaw clenches as she swallows, pressing her teeth together before letting her mouth fall into a soft pout. She can feel the skin of her forehead crease ever so slightly as her brows knit together, mouth falling open before closing it again.
He's only begun taking a step back as her hand flies out, wrapping around his. His brows knit together, that all-familiar crease appearing as he regards her.
Gaze flickering over his features in an attempt to read him, her heart picks up speed – beating hard at the thought that he might reject her. Almost afraid to get too close, she takes a tentative step forward while her eyes continues to search his face for a sign – any sign. Dragging her lip between her teeth, she feels her chest rise and fall with her breath while his eyes flicker across her. His jaw clenches, a furrow to his brows as he watches her but just as she's about to take another step he beats her to it. With one swift movement he closes the short space between them, gaze holding hers for the shortest beat of time before his hand cups her face, finger hooking beneath her chin as he lifts her lips to his.
Her breath is close to being knocked out of her as soon as her lips melt together with his, colliding with such urgency she stumbles backwards. A chortle slips out of her as she clings to his neck as not to loose balance entirely, the sound muffled by the warmth of his lips against hers.
Sprawling her fingers through his hair, thumbs running over the lines of his cheekbones, her lips crack into a smile against his as one of his hands falls from her face to slip beneath her cardigan. The heat from his palm radiating through the fabric of her sundress where it lies on her low back as she knots her her hands in the curls of his hair, her body curving into his as his arm wraps closer around her.
Leaning into the hand that cups her cheek, the beat of her heart stills ever so slightly, matching his pace as he slows down. Daring to let her hands loose from his hair to run the tips of her fingers over his cheeks again, tracing his jaw before sprawling through his hair again – letting the calm envelop her as the immediate urgency begins to slowly fade.
♡♡♡
A low whistling sound has them jolting apart – not only breaking their kiss but actually placing them far out of each other's reach. Avery's heart is back to beating fast, as if threatening to break free of the walls keeping it in place as she catches her breath, panting slightly.
A cross between annoyance and relief washes over her as Jake strolls into the kitchen, rolling his eyes as his lips crack into a grin seeming to be a smirk at the same time. "Chill. It's just me."
The silence lies thick in the air as they watch him yank the refrigerator open, bringing out and balancing far too many packs of beer than should be possible in his embrace before he kicks it shut with his foot. Grabbing a bag of chips where it lies on the counter, he throws it onto the top of the stack before heading the same way he just came.
"As you were."
Another beat of silence passes between them before Ethan flickers his gaze across the room, not really stopping to meet hers. "Sorry."
She clears her throat, running a smoothing palm down her dress. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..."
Backing away further, she leans against the kitchen counter and lets a long exhale escape her lips.
Ethan throws his head back in a groan. "Fuck."
"Tell me about it."
Whipping around to look at her, his eyes flashes with alarm. "What's wrong?"
"What do you–" She cuts herself off at the thickness laced in her voice, hand reaching up to her face. She wipes the pads of her fingertips across her cheek, eyeing the mascara laced tears lingering on them as she lowers her hand. "Oh."
"Waters,"
Sniffling, she waves her hand dismissively but he has already crossed the room in three swift strides. Her heart catches in her throat as he gently runs his thumb underneath her eye, wiping away the tears sprinkled there. "What is it?"
She shakes her head, a dry laugh escaping her lips. "Apparently this is a thing I do now. It's – I'm okay."
He swallows, not letting his eyes leave her as he leans across her to rip paper off the roll stood next to the sink. Her eyes flutter shut for a split second as his chest brushes against hers, dragging her lip between her teeth as he takes a small step to the side and hands her the paper.
Blowing her nose, she flickers her eyes to him with a grimace. "Charming, right?"
His lips pull into a soft smile, having her smile too as she crumples up the paper in her hand before heaving herself into a seat on the counter.
"I'm sorry," She croaks out, pausing to clear her throat as she casts her eyes to the flaked polish of her nails. "I've just missed you– Miss you. I miss you."
There's a strained twitch to his lips as he reaches out to wipe another lingering tear away, eyes flickering across her face before letting his head dip forward, burying into her neck. She lets her eyes fall close, her breath melting into the same heavy rhythm as his. A dry thickness climbs up her throat as she lifts her arms, looping them around him, sprawling the fingers of her right hand through his hair – knowing they can't stay like this for too long or she'll only end up kissing him again.
A shiver runs down her spine as he straightens up, his gaze flickering to hers and she feels her exhale tingle her lips as she stares up at him. She had only wanted to be near him, if just for a moment – instead she's managed to complicate everything further.
She's prodded a wound only barely having begun to heal and now it's yet one more thing to add onto all the hurt.
Casting her eyes to her lap, she feels her heart strain, as if it's fighting against her. "I should probably–"
"I want you."
Her eyes flicker from Ethan's arm where it's crossed in front of her – palm to the counter to prevent her from scooting off it – to his eyes. Lips parting slightly, she breathes out a, "What?"
Sighing, he tilts his head back to glance up at the ceiling. "I fucking want you," She bites down at her lip as his gaze returns to hers. "I want to be with you."
Lifting her hand to lay upon her chest in an attempt to soothe the whirlwind in there, she's feeling a tinge of nausea as she asks, "In a 'we're definitely not friends but we kiss sometimes' way?"
His lips pull into a cross of an amused and tired smile, softly rolling his eyes as his palms fall to rest on her legs. She intertwines her fingers with his, letting them rest upon her thighs. "No, in a 'we're together' way."
"Together together?"
He shoots her a look, raising his brow and she swallows, trying to quell the flare of joy rising within her. The beat of her heart both heavy and light simultaneously as her brows knit together.
"But why me?"
He looks sincerely confused, lips twitching in uncertainty as if wondering if she's joking. "Why you?"
She shouldn't want to hear the rest of what he has to say. She shouldn't be holding his hands like this. She shouldn't be sitting here with him. But for the first time in twenty-seven days she's beginning to feel at peace.
Still, she eyes him now.
"Yes. Why me?" She bites down at her lip. "I could go out there, get on a table and say 'Hey Ethan Taylor's looking for a girlfriend' and you'd have every single girl lining up through this house. So why me? Why the one who'll make everything complicated when you could have anyone?"
"I could not."
"No? You want to go test my theory? Because I swear–"
"Waters."
"Ethan. I'm serious. The only thing possibly worse than dating me would be dating Callie, or any of the cheerleaders – actually no – Lea, cheerleaders, me, the rest of Acebridge West's student body–" She cuts herself off as he shoots her another look. "Point being, you can have whoever you want in there, why me – why me when you know it will only–"
There's a near to incredulous tone to his voice as he urges, "Because it's you."
"But why?!"
"Because you're a fucking pain to watch TV with."
Caught off guard, a chortle escape her lips. "What?"
"I mean it – you talk way too much. If you would just watch the show, you wouldn't have to ask all your questions. Not to talk about how instead of doing what any sane person would do and take shelter, you welcome a rain storm by standing in it with this ridiculous smile on your lips until it has soaked you to the bone, and–" As her lips crack into a teeth showing smile his does too, lifting his pinky to point to the dip of her dimple. "And because I like doing that."
She laughs, biting down at her lip as she casts her gaze to her left hand still intertwined with his right one atop her leg.
Speaking again, there's a softer tone to his words. "I want you. I want to be with you. And only you," A beat of silence passes between them and he lifts his finger, tapping it to her skull. "What's going on in there?"
Pressing her lips together she cocks her head towards the hall and the room behind it. "What about all those people?"
"Who says they have to know?"
A faint smirk pulls at her lips. "Oh so you want to be with me – in secret."
"I think our lives will be easier if that's how we go about it, yes. At first, at least. But hey, if you think we should tell them then let's go–"
She pulls him back with a tug of his hand, another laugh slipping her lips. "Don't you dare."
His smile slightly fades, regarding her as he's waiting. "Waters, come on, you're killing me over here."
The thought of ever leaving him behind in this kitchen, of ever letting go again sends a jolt of ache through her body and she's quick to take her mind off of it. Right now, in this moment, walking away seems a worse fate than any possible future bump in the road.
Gently squeezing his hand, she asks, "Is Anna waiting up?"
His brows knit together, eyes flickering over her face as if to gauge what those words could mean in a broader context – as if to figure out where her mind's at.
"No. She knows I'm staying here."
Avery's nose scrunches up with her puckered lips. "Bummer."
"Supposedly staying here?"
Her lips crack into a grin before settling into a softer smile, lifting her hand to wrap one of those short curls around her finger. "I want to be with you too. And I don't really know how we should go about it all but I do want to be with you and we should talk about that," She flickers her eyes across the kitchen. "But I think we've overstayed our welcome in here."
"So what now? Do we go back to staring at each other from separate ends of the house?"
"You haven't even been looking my way out there."
"Of course I have."
She presses her lips together as her cheeks tighten with her smile. "Well, as tempting as that sounds – I was thinking more like me feigning a headache and you letting Jake know you won't be staying here. And then you can meet me down the street in five."
"How clandestine of you."
"Clandestine?" Avery snorts as she jumps off the counter, letting her hand slip out of his. "See you in five?"
A soft smile appears on his lips, a rosy glow to his cheeks. "Yeah, see you in five. Wait."
"Wha–"
Her lips pull into a grin as he spins her back around, cupping her cheek to brush his lips over hers.
"Okay, now you're free to go. See you out there."
"Don't keep me waiting."
. . .
haven't written one of these happy notes in a bit so, hi friends!
this is your friendly reminder that if you would like to come hang out with me apart from on wattpad, you can find me on various social media (link in bio).
and here's me letting you know – once again – how grateful i am for every single one of you. love you lots.
yours, linn.