Every Side down in the Mind Palace liked Christmas a lot
Virgil, Logan, Patton, Janus, and Roman were all decorating the Christmas tree together, having a relatively good time besides the non-stop bickering between them.
"That's not where that ornament goes," Logan would comment.
"Well, I think that instead of doing a star, we should do an angel!" Roman exclaims. Virgil agreed with that, being non-confrontational as Christmas was not his holiday. Nobody else did.
"Don't hear me out on this one, we totally shouldn't get a real tree while we still have the chance. It's not like it helps the airflow." Janus would lie through his teeth.
"Can we get a stool now? I can't reach the top..." Patton would call to no avail. Everyone was too busy bickering, bickering, and bickering.
But the Trash Rat, who lived in the Dark Sides portion of of the Mind Palace, did NOT
"This is a stupid holiday. For my birthday I got fanart and Janus played Just Dance with me, but for this dude who told me that I couldn't kill my friends gets like... at least 3 different holidays??? Stupid." Remus said, kicking at the air in his room.
The Trash Rat hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Remus ripped the head off of the elf on his nightstand.
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
He started eating the fluff inside, humming at the taste
It could be his sash was on the wrong side.
He ate the pom-pom on the hat, doing a little dance as he ate.
It could be, perhaps it's been too long since he cried.
"How do people never find these? It was so easy to spot it in the cabinet! It's pretty tasty too."
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
He shoved a handful of stuffing in his mouth, falling back on his bed and sighing. "I don't even want to be there when they open their stupid gifts..."
Whatever the reason, His heart or the lack of cries,
He laid there on Christmas Eve, hating the sides,
Staring at the ceiling with a trashy, mustache accented smile,
In the dimly lit room, he's been in for a while.
"I wonder if they're up there getting freaky!!!"
Though he knew every Side in The Mind Palace near,
Was busy now, singing about the overqualified deers.
"Actual, there probably being boring and making cookies or something..." He put on an angry frown.
"And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his long fingers angrily drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!"
He thought that was too much work, but it'll make them upset, which is nice. He figured he wasn't doing anything better since now that Janus is a part of the group, there's no way he's having Christmas with him.
For Tomorrow, he knew, all the Sides, dark and light,
Would wake bright and early. They'd rush at the sight!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE!
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
"I'm gonna shut them up with their own-" The next words he used were not family-friendly, that's for sure
Then the sides, left and right, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST!
FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
"They're food is gross too, besides the tree." He commented. He always thought the ornaments were a nice touch. He's been telling Thomas to eat them for years!
They would feast on imaginary-pudding and rare imaginary-roast beast.
Which was something the Trash Rat couldn't stand in the least!
He didn't like that kind of meat, and it's not recommended to ask him what kind he likes. No matter what it is, you won't like the answer.
And THEN They'd do something He liked the least!
Every Side in the Mind palace, the strong and the weak,
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Sides would start singing!
They'd sing! And they'd sing! And they'd SING!
SING! SING! SING!
"Why sing about that guy when you could sing about Adam and Eve? They just lack imagination!" He said, then started singing to himself. He was proud of himself for that song, as his brother was more of the songwriter.
And the more the Trash Rat thought of the Sides days of Christmas song,
The more the Trash Rat thought, "I must burn this place, I was right all along!"
"Why, for twenty-three years I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! But HOW?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE TRASH RAT GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I can only think of traumatizing them into not having it... Oh!" He came to a realization. Oh no.
"I know just what to do!" The Trash Rat laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
"I'm kinda hot in this!" He exclaimed, striking a less-than-innocent pose in his floor-length mirror. He made the coat just long enough to cover his shame and decided to ditch the whole pants thing in favor of his red knee boots that weren't actually his. Red was his brother's thing.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Trashy trick!"
"With this coat-dress and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!"
"All I need is a reindeer..." The Trash Rat looked around.
All he did was glance at the dirty floor of his bedroom.
But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Rat? No! The Trash Rat simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his rat, Checker. Then he took some red thread,
And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.
He took the tread and basically choked the rat with it. "Stop complaining, getting choked is fun!" He said, giving him a small kiss on the head once he was done
THEN He thought some bags And some old empty sacks,
Thought a ramshackle sleigh And he hitched up old Check.
Then the Trash Rat jumped on, saying "Giddap!" And the sleigh started down,
Down down down it when.
It fell through the floor, no more did it smell like mint
He screamed in amusement, but no one could hear.
He dropped down to the imagination, feeling anything but fear.
He didn't realize, or he realizes too late
Imaginary floors can't hold that much weight.
And there he was, The Trash Rat and his sleigh.
Doomed there for the rest of the day.
The sides found it strange, the silence of the house,
So they went to save him, creeping like a mouse
(now goes ABAB instead of AABB)
The thing is, the Imagination is fine
But you can't get out alone
So there's the moral, my dear, my divine
Don't make a sleigh
And don't try to ruin a home.