‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙
"You have everything?" I asked, watching as Tellie shoved three pairs of pants into her already overstuffed bag. Anymore clothing and I was sure it was going to pop. Normally, if she was a soldier as she had been before, she would have been supplied a uniform. But now she was of higher rank in the army and was given more leniency. They'd allow her to wear her own clothing as long as it didn't break dress code.
"I think so," Tellie muttered, limping over to her dresser and swinging open the doors. The thing creaked and groaned loudly, the thing was passed down from generations on our mothers side.
"Boots?"
"Check."
"Coat?"
"Check."
"The fact that you're dating the Lieutenant's daughter?" I asked, propping my chin onto my knees, blinking up at her through my lashes. She stopped folding a light blue overcoat and glared down at me. Her hands fisted around the fabric and she craned her head back, letting out a heavy sigh.
"No," she said with a groan. "He doesn't and Heather said he's....fine with the whole girl dating girl thing, but I don't know."
"What do you mean?" I asked, shifting over on her bed so that she could sit down next to me. She crawled onto the blanket, leaning her back against the wall like I was. She had her bad leg outstretched in front of her, the other curled up before her. The hem of her skirt had dropped, her bare thigh showing. Tellie was never one for modesty, that was one of my favorite things about her.
"I mean...I feel like everyone says they're okay with me being gay and then when they actually see me with my girlfriend they get all...awkward and uncomfortable." She sighed sharply and thunked her head against the wall.
"I'm sure he'll love you," I said, playing with a frayed piece of yarn on my dress. I was actually wearing short sleeves today. The weather was much warmer than it had been for months. Almost everyone was outside soaking up the sun. But I wasn't. No, instead I was watching my sister and one of my closest friends pack up their things to leave me for gods know how long.
"I hope so," she muttered. "I'm not exactly the most agreeable person at times." That was definitely true. But I couldn't say much better in regards to myself. Both Gellert sisters were very opinionated, we spoke of politics passionately, standing firm in what we believed in. The same could be said of womens rights and gay rights. We stood for equality, everyone who believed otherwise could go to hell.
"True, but you fight for the same cause," I said. "That will give you something to agree on."
"The fight against Lacuna," Tellie muttered, throwing her hand in the air and swirling one measly finger in the air in tiny, celebratory circles. Lacuna was the country currently at war with Rame. No one even really knew why the two were at war, just that they disagreed upon everything. Trade, treaties, taxes, anything that could be disagreed upon was disagreed upon.
"Right, the war worth fighting," I said, letting out a giggle. She snorted at the motto that the king gave our war before leaning her head against my shoulder.
"I'm going to miss you so much," she whispered. Her smell of almonds and honey filled my noise and I sighed, letting my eyes drift closed as tears sprung to my eyes. It was better if she didn't see them. I was trying to keep myself together as much as I could today. The moment she walked out the door I'd let myself fall apart. Once she was gone I'd let the tears fall.
"I'll miss you too," I said, the fabric of her shirt was soft against my cheek. "But we can write letters, and you'll be able to visit whenever you can." When she went into the army before she hadn't been able to write more than one letter every six months, her schedule was too tricky. She had never once been permitted to visit, even during that rare occasion she had only been a mere ten miles away. But now that she had more leniency, she'd be able to get away more. The idea of a letter from Tellie or Heather was a luxury in itself.
"Knock knock," Heather said, drifting into the room. I never got used to the fact that Heather practically glowed no matter what her mood was. She was always beaming and her pink lips never seemed to be far from a smile. When I first saw her, I thought she looked like an angel. I was proud to say my thoughts of her hadn't changed.
"You know, it defeats the purpose of knocking when you verbally say 'knock',"Tellie said, trying to sound annoyed, though I could hear the smile in her tone. It was always very hard to stay angry around Heather. Heather brightened both of our lives after we met her. Tellie became less frigid, and the effects of her injury and time at war dwindled away until she was a bit more like her old self. And in turn, seeing my sister happy made me happy. Not to mention what a great person Heather was to have in my life. She made everything better and she didn't even have to try. Sometimes she just hugged me out of the blue and it'd make me smile for hours. She had that effect on people.
"I know, my love," Heather said, hopping onto the bed beside me. She reached over and brushed a hand down Tellies cheek. "I only do it to annoy you."
"Aw, love you too," Tellie said sarcastically, scrunching her nose. The freckles there flattened.
"Love you too," Heather sung. "Alright ladies, I have an idea." She clapped her hands together in front of her, clasping her long, delicate fingers. She grinned at the both of us and Tellie and I exchanged a glance.
"She has an idea," I whispered loudly.
"I think we should be worried," Tellie whispered in the same mocking whisper. Heather laughed and hit my shoulder gently.
"Whatever, it's a good idea this time," she said.
"That's what you said when you wanted to rescue those chickens from the slaughter house," Tellie said, crossing her arms over her chest.
"They were innocent!" The incident had happened nearly a year ago, but she still got defensive over it. I found it hilarious.
"They were food," Tellie said.
Heather glared at her before continuing. "I was thinking, since the weather is so warm, that we could go to the pond." An image of green, bubbling water, smooth and clear, and perfectly warm, bubbled up in my head. I saw lillie pads and tiny little fish swirling between my fingers and bumping into my legs. We had gone to the pond a few times before, last summer, back when the weather was warmer. We hadn't gone in so long due to the long lasting winter. I had loved it there, it was the perfect escape from our little hellhole of a village.
"Do you think its warm enough?" Tellie asked. This time I was the one to bump her shoulder. She huffed in surprise.
"Yes, and if you actually went outside today you'd know it's the perfect weather for swimming," I said.
"Well, I've been busy all day, Eira." She gave me a pointed look. I heard Heather suck in a sharp breath and I pinched my lips together, feeling my light mood sour. The warm glow in the room seemed to dim and I bowed my head, clasping my hands together tightly. Just one sentence hinting at what was happening tomorrow was enough to put a damper on the mood. I hated it.
"Right, well, enough of those thoughts," Heather said, letting out a sharp, determined sigh. "We're going. Pack the shifts you don't care about getting wet." She stood and reached out an arm for both of us. I grabbed her hand, as did Tellie, and she pulled us to our feet. Tellie clung to her hand for longer, her thumb skimming Heathers knuckles. I wondered what it would've been like to hold the hand of someone who you loved so much. I wondered if I'd ever hold a hand like that.
"Let's go have fun," Heather said, letting out a squeal before pulling us along. Her excitement was contagious, and I found myself grinning along with her. Eventually Tellie did too, though her smile never reached her eyes.
"Do you believe in soulmates?" Heather asked. We were currently floating on the surface of the water, our bodies perfectly balanced. My arms were outstretched and if I flexed my fingers, I could touch Heather, not that I had the energy to. With the sun beating down on me and the warm water around me, I could barely blink. I was in pure bliss.
I giggled. "Heather, I think the sun is getting to your head," I said. I felt a lilypad skim my cheek and I sighed, breathing in the intoxicating smell of the nature around me. The sweet scent of grass, weeds, and flowers mixed headily and every breath filled my lungs with sweetness.
"I'm perfectly sober, Eira," she said sarcastically. I felt her bump my fingers with hers. "But think about it...you know, a higher being creating a person that was perfect for you. A person that you'd somehow find in your life regardless of obstacles or time."
"Someone's thought about this a lot," Tellie mumbled. I heard a splash and a squeal.
"I'm just saying it's an interesting thing to think about. I mean, I think I've found my soulmate." I could hear pride swimming in Heather's voice.
"Aw, babe," Tellie said. Heather giggled and I heard the water swish as the two swam closer together. An ache formed in my chest as I remembered that I wasn't going to be getting any more of them after today. Tonight they'd leave and that was that. I couldn't change a thing. I had been left home before, when I was sixteen and Tellie had initially left for the army when she turned nineteen. But they had left me with a government official who was supposed to care for me since I was still a minor. She wasn't great company, but she was still company. Now I'd have no one.
"So, Eira," Tellie said. The two had drifted closer to me and I felt Tellies shoulder bump mine. We had been swimming for a couple hours. The peak sun hours had passed and the day was getting increasingly chillier as the sun started to dip down. I felt my heart nearly split as I thought of the moment we'd have to leave. "Do you think you have a soulmate?"
I snorted. I actually snorted. "Gods no," I said, through my laughing fit. "I'm destined to be forever alone, I'm sure of it." I stretched out on the water, dipping my head back and letting my arms fan out on either side of me.
"Such a pessimist," Heather grumbled. I opened my eyes, glancing up at the purpleing sky. It'd get cold soon, as it did every night. I felt as if the cold and I had a very strong relationship. I couldn't remember the last time I had felt truly warm. Both inside and out.
"I'd rather be a realist than live on hopes and dreams," I murmured as I heard Heather and Tellie begin to get out of the water, the fabrics of their shifts were soaking wet and clinging to their bodies, water dripping from their skin. They both were grinning broadly, and I realized that this was probably the first happy day they had had in quite a bit. Things had been rough for so long.
"And what a tragedy that is," Heather said in response before reaching out a hand to help me up.
"And you'll write?" I asked, wrapping my blanket tighter around myself as a chill burst through the thin walls of the cottage. It had gotten so cold so fast, as if even the freaking weather was determined to make this goodbye as hard as possible.
"Of course," Heather said, wiping away another tear that slipped past her defences and trickled down her cheek. She had been crying ever since we got back from the pond and I didn't blame her. I had come close to tears more times than I could count too.
"And you'll promise to visit and be safe and not to like...jump in front of a flying arrow or something like that?"
"Yes, yes, and do you think we're stupid?" Tellie asked, coming out of the bedroom with their bags all packed and ready to go. The sight made me want to hurl. They were going at night to be discreet. There were soldiers from Lacuna poised at the trails leading to Rame's army base, ready to kill anyone heading there. If they went in cover of darkness they'd be safer.
"I don't know...sometimes," I admitted, grinning, despite the fact that my heart was fracturing itself into tiny pieces inside of my chest. Heather let out a loud sob suddenly and waltzed up to me. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, squeezing my tightly. Her face buried itself into my hair and I breathed in her scent of roses. She always smelt of flowers.
"Please, please know I love you," she said. "I love you like you're my own sister, and always will." Her voice broke and she squeezed me tighter. "You'll always take up this Eira-size place in my heart and you're irreplaceable. Remember that." She pulled away and rubbed her thumbs under my eyes, swiping at tears I had let fall. I couldn't hold them in any longer. She sniffled before pressing a kiss to my forehead. She backed away slowly, a hand pressed to her lips as she tried to stifle her sobs.
"Eira," a voice said gently behind me. I turned to see Tellie standing there, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. I didn't think I hade ever seen her look so...sad. "It almost feels like it was easier the last time we did this."
"I think it's because we know how it goes now. There's no room for surprise anymore," I said feebly, my words trembling. Tellie chewed down on her lower lip. I didn't walk towards her, knowing she didn't love physical embraces from anyone but Heather. But I didn't have to.
My sister strode towards me and wrapped her arms around my shaking shoulders. She pressed me tight against her, her cheek smashed against mine. Her cheek wasn't damp, it was hot, as if she were angry. "Be safe. Don't make rash decisions, and know that we'll be back soon. Nothing will keep me from you for long."
"P...promise," I managed to get out. I was sobbing harder now, tears were streaming down my cheeks and I could hardly breathe.
"I swear it. We will see each other again," Tellie said. She leaned away and grabbed my face, her hands were calloused and rough against my skin but I hardly cared. Tellie herself was calloused and rough, it was something I had long since gotten used to.
"I love you," she said. I leaned in and pressed my forehead against hers.
"I love you more," I felt her stiffen, and then...a single tear rolled down her cheek. That was a phrase Mother used to say to us. Before bed, after she'd read to us, we'd tell her we loved her and she'd say that one tiny phrase. Saying it again was enough to make Tellie cry. I didn't know if that was good or bad. Either way, I knew I had meant it.
"We need to go," Tellie said, pressing her forehead to mine for a moment longer before drifting away. Heather grabbed her bags and Tellie grabbed hers and they both headed for the door. There was one more exchange of hugs before they slipped out and I followed them, my shawl wrapped tightly around myself.
I watched as they got onto the cart hauled by a donkey and a man disguised as a potato farmer who was really some official from the army. I wiped my cheeks as they loaded their things on, using the opportunity while they were distracted. Once everything was packed, the man whipped the reins and the cart started to move.
I raced forward and reached out my hand. Tellie grabbed it and she gave my fingers a strong pulse before she was forced to let go. The last thing I saw were tears in those spectacular eyes before the cart turned a corner and they were gone.