the longer you stand in the hot water, the more you suffer. the damp air, that covers the whole room now, has you on chokehold. your lung's suddenly caving in, clutching. you find it hard to breathe, but you don't do anything against it. you carefully sit down in the shower, letting the water wash all over you.
you let your surroundings torture you and soon feel your body go numb. you close your eyes as this degrading feeling becomes more and more comfortable.
you can't explain it.
there's something about being limp and in pain, that sets off this weird tingly feeling all over you.
"call me crazy, but i haven't felt this peaceful for years.", you think to no one in particular.
it seemed a bit familiar, maybe it was the way you were suddenly gasping for air or placing your hand on top of your chest, as it was going up and down.
and maybe it was because, even this time where you triggered a panick attack by yourself, there was no one to help you through it, again.
"it's okay. i don't need anyone.", you keep telling yourself.
however, you can seem confident all you want. you can put up a scary, imitating face in front of others, but you can't hide a shadow surrounded by light. be true to yourself all you want, but this one lie you repeat over and over, will be the downfall of you, someday.
it didn't matter, anyway. there is no one anymore to care about you, like she did. even if you would scream out how lonely you feel, there is no one who would listen.
that's when you opened your eyes, you suddenly see a little girl in front of you.
she has the same features as you and is holding a yellow bloodied glove, which was obviously way bigger than her hand. her eyes seem to have tears, threatening to spill over any second.
you didn't realize, that your had furrowed your eyebrows and had pursed your lips tightly together,
but the moment the two of you make eye-contact, your whole expression softened.
no matter how cruel and merciless you could be, when beating up some guys. you could never, never, let a child look at you with such a petrifying face/aura.
who knows, maybe it's this little girl who is looking at you with hopeful eyes, that holds you back from treating children like trash.
and maybe, it's the owner of that yellow glove.
you breath in and out, slowly, and recollect your breath. the panic fades away as the little girl does too. your vision returns and you stand up again, after having calmed down.
about 20 minutes have now passed and you feel as light as a feather, your previous thoughts washed away.
''i guess water does purify ones soul.'', you sigh as you turn off the water. you squeeze the last bits of water left in your hair and step out of the shower. the once ice-cold bathroom, is njow covered with fog and wet air.
you grab for the towel you prepared before and work on drying your body/hair. not long you hear your a 'ding!' from your phone. soon after multiple dings followed one another. you wondered who that could be since you don't have many contacts.
putting on a gray bathrobe, which was hanging on a hook next to the sink, you let your towel lay on your damp hair as you reach for your phone.
unlocking it you tap on the app icon and see the following messages displayed:
tenko :/
y/n.
come to the bar.
read 1:02 am
you slightly raise your brow, a bit shocked. you didn't expect any messages, especially not from your brother. it has been so long since you guys talked face-to-face.
deciding to not leave him on read you answer your short-tempernd brother.
tenko :/
y/n.
come to the bar.
read 1:02 am
sure.
but not now.
i just finished a mission.
i'll come by in the morning.
fine, be here by 7.
btw why so sudden?
it's urgent.
okay, i'm only coming on such a short notice cuz ur my sibling.
i appreciate it.
yea yea no problem.
read 1:05
with that being your last message, you turn off your phone. it sure was a long time ago since you've spoken with your brother and you didn't really want to get used to it now.
you dried off your phone, that had some water droplets on it. leaving the bathroom after. you walked to your bedroom to take a get a bit of sleep until your meeting.
the moment you were close to your bed, you let yourself fall on top of it and soon after your blanket covered half of you. still in your bathrobe you drift to a comfortable sleep, you had a little smile on your face, displaying your pure joy to just have the chance to rest.
///
6:30 AM. the ride on the train was silent. there weren't many. almost no one actually. only a woman who had dark eyebags under her eyes, but had a neat suit on and a man who's face looked the complete opposite, but his clothes a formel set. both of them would probably attend work.
"damn, they look bouchée for work and i look like i got my clothes from the military.", after you checked them out you direct your gaze at the design of the train. a reddish-brown designed floor with blue seats and colorful dots attached to them.
"ayo this shit looks like germany."
the train was rather fast considering that you arrived in 10 minutes.
///
you were walking down black steps which had slight cracks in them. you stopped in front of a brown door and take a deep breath in.
you get ready to knock the code you've exchanged beforehand. the first three were rather fast, you waited for a second and knocked two times again.
not long after, you heard some shuffling and mumbling on the other side. you were soon eye-to-eye with a familiar purple figure, dressed in an elegant suit.
you couldn't help but smile a bit. looking into his eyes, that are kind of squinted, you could assume he was returning the smile.
edited.
haven't proof read!!
point out mistakes and
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