After a few hours of tossing and turning, Shehnaaz just could not manage being in such close proximity with Sidharth. What happened between them was far too special, far too significant for it to go unprocessed within her. All she wanted to do was to just bury herself in him and inhale him and take in as much of his as she could. She shuddered at the shivers of desire that now ran through her body. She sighed at the fact that as much as she agreed with him that their duniyas were alag, he was increasingly becoming her safe house.
She just lay there watching his face, he was so serene when he slept, he was so gentle with her, he was so giving and he he was such a considerate lover? Well atleast she assumed that with their intense yet gentle make out. Involuntarily her toes curled in desire and emotion....she recalled the intimate voice with which he spoke to her and let her know how much she excited him.
Shehnaaz was not unaware or naive when it came to sex and given her frank disposition she also was not one of those prudish girls who pretended to never think or want it for themselves. But at the same time she also was very clear about sanctity of her body and the value of it. So while she enjoyed sex she was very careful to never allow anyone to objectify her or to take her for granted. The two previous relationships she had of that only one culminated in sleeping with her partner and even that at best a few times when it was more of a need. At 26 when she looks back at her journey so far she now realizes that for her a relationship was always about belonging to someone, something which she yearned as a child she tried to fulfill as an adult and for that she always ended up giving more than she should have and almost always never getting that affection she required atleast never in the way that it satisfied her or filled her up. She shook herself out of these musings and looked at Sidharth. The wonder of him. She had never met anyone else who had such a dead pan expression most of the time, but again she had also never met anyone who was so expressive with his behavior. What Sidharth did not say he showed. And in this house she was the only one who knew it. He gave her space yet would
Be close enough to prop her up when she tripped! He was growing on her quickly and that confused her. She laughed at the thought that someone like him would want him desirable. And in her classic self deprecating humour could not control her giggle when she thought 'bandaa itna desperate hai ki mein attractive laggi. Hai hai bechara television ka super star Sidharth Shukla'
She slowly slipped out of the bed because sleep was far and she really wanted to enjoy this moment but also build herself up. As much as she belonged to the industry she could never understand or appreciate random hookups that often happened. That was never her. So whatever happened tonight was still unchartered territory and something she needed to work out in her mind such that she does not end up hurting herself. She found that she was unable to sit so started pacing around the pool lost in her thoughts.
Sidharth even before his eyes opened felt bereft and knew Shehnaaz was not in bed. It slightly irritated him when the feeling of being alone hit him. He was a single guy who for the most part of his life woke up alone, so why should nowadays waking up alone irritate him. He really adored Shehnaaz. The unspoken regret that if he had met her earlier in life and the regret that perhaps if he was younger or she was older, ugggh he made a low sound because of how helpless such suppositions made him. He was a man who like to be in control, always in every situation. He did not regret what just happened with Shehnaaz, not one bit, but where was this heading to? Why when it came to her he was not on top of his own emotions, that worried him. Shehnaaz made him realize all those things he wanted in a relationship which he never knew he missed. He sighed a deep sigh....she was far too young, there were too many blind spots and this was something that did not happen. Firstly finding love is one of the most rare things true selfless love...come on! He winced to
Himself, secondly it
Never happened on bloody television and on a reality show. It is just attraction and in this case W genuine friendship. This was something he almost never did. He never got physical with people he really really cared about. He had a few good girlfriends but even those he knew he could walk away from without too much scarring. Yes those breakups had affected him but he had always ensured that his inner sanctum was protected. But this chit of a girl dammit. Managed to crawl into his heart and now seemed to have nestled right there ,as he was ruminating all of these, he realised that if she were in the washroom, she should have returned by now. A frown covered his face! Was she upset with what happened, he in that panic quickly rushed out to check on her, strangely the whole house was asleep, that almost was never the case!
As he walked out, before he could see her he heard her humming...and then he saw her pacing up and down outside the pool area. Her back was toward him and she was humming the words 'kaisay hua, kaisay hua, tu itna zaroori kaisay hua! And when she looked up before she turned she yelled 'amaaaaa' and she ducked! She was not expecting anyone and seeing Sidharth' s reflection in the mirror freaked her. When she looked up just to make sure it was really him she found him on the floor doubled up in laughter. She heaved a sigh a relief and ran out to him whispering "kuttay jaan chali gayi meri! Socha ke yamraj aagaye meko leney!' Sidharth laughed even deeper at her expression and what she was saying. 'Sor....sorryyy ha ha ha ha ha moti....sorry yaar....merese hasee nahi rukh raheee. Oh fuck! Man kya item hai re tu!" Saying this he propped himself up and wrapped his right arm
Over her shoulder and led her to the smoking room and they both settled on the bench there. His body again started shaking with laughter which annoyed sana "phirse has raha hai. Problem kya hai tera!"
Sidharth could not control his laughter but still wanted to calm sana down, so started rubbing her arm while he had his around hers and said "sorry sorry, nah, soch raha tha ki din mein dus bar sunnay ko milta hai ki muh Tod dhungi, faad ke rakh dungi....Khud
Ki itni phatee padi hai, nautanki saali!...bhak!" Saying this he tightened his arm around her neck and pecked her hard on her temple and made smooching noises as he peppered her with light kisses after that. "Bhelpuri"
Shehnaaz was basking in this affection and turned to face him crossing her legs on top of his thighs and she hugged his hand and rested her head on his shoulder and asked "tu kyun uth ke aaya? Vaisay bhi khadoos bankay phir ta hai, neend puri nahi hui toh satyanash!"
Sidharth looked at her, just overwhelmed and satisfied with how there was no awkwardness between them, he had thought it would have been difficult to face her but he found her that much more familiar and the glow on her face felt that much more intimate. He pulled her face up by the chin and looked at her face properly with a loving smile on his face...she took looked back at him with a sweet smile waiting for his sarcastic retort but found just adoration and a sense of satisfaction written all over it. "Kya?" She asked as she placed her hand on his thighs and warmly rubbed it giving him comfort and love as best as she could.
He nodded his head indicating that he did not want to say anything just yet. He brought his head down to hers and met her forehead with his, then quickly nuzzled her nose with his and pecked her lips with his. He then kissed her forehead and asked her "theek hai tu? Kyu uth ke chalee aayi? Kuch baat karni hai to kar, you can say anything to me. I won't feel bad" saying that he took her hands in his, intertwined their fingers and waited for her to speak.
She decided whatever she wanted to say to him needed to be said from a place of honestly and yet intimacy so she quickly sidled onto his lap and straddled him but leaving space such that she was settled more in his knee "Sidharth meinay pehle bhi poocha hai Aur meko
Pata hai ki jawab same hi hoga shayad, phir bhi bataana hamaarey yeh jo bhi hai...kya hai?"
Sidharth lovingly just gazed at her and asked her in a low yet intimate tone "mein tere liye kya hoon Shehnaaz?"
She cutely pursed her lips and rattled off ticking them off with her fingers "friend! Family! Sahaara! Honsla! Khushi! Security! Guru!" She looked at him and pouted her mouth and scrunched her nose and shook her head in such a cute way that Sidharth could help pull her in for a hug and he also wanted to hide his expressions from. He envied her tbat she could be so candid about her feelings. He sighed as he wrapped her hands around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder and with a deep sigh said "meri jaan Itna bhi mujhpe Bharosa na kar sana, mein nahi nibha paunga yeh sab! Aaj tak mainay bade soch samajhkar hi rishtay banaye hain!" He pulled them apart because he wanted to see her face as he said this "life mein pehli baar kisi ko itni jaldi trust kiya hai. Tu na meko apni family Jaisi lagti hai. Tu mere liye matter karti hai. Abhi na tera bhi game mujhe affect karega...kyunki mein Teri bhalaayi chahnay laga hoon. Jaisay mein apnay game best karna chahta hoon mein tera game bhi best deigns chahta hoon. Sana Tu ab apni lagnay lagi, mein iss cheez sey hurt h0 sakta hoon lekin terese hurt bhi hona manzoor hai!' Saying this he ruffled her hair and kissed her on her cheek.
Suddenly Shehnaaz felt very shy and buried her head in the crook of his neck and whispered "sharam aa rahi hai phir se. mujhay gandey thoughts aa rahey hain! Sidharth Tu shayad nahi maanega lekin mainey aisay kabhi nahi kiya hai kisi bhi co actor ke saath. Tere saath alag feelings hain."
Sidharth chucked at her innocence and started rubbing her back, noticing that she still had not worn her bra, he said "abey gadhi to mein co actor hoon tera! I hear you darling, mere saath bhi aisay nahi hua ke mein aisay hee make out karoon kisi ke saath. Especially jisay mein attached hoon. Tere saath jo attraction hai na, man crazy it is baby! Matlab Tu meri paas hoti hai na toh meko na ek ajeeb sa pull feel hota bao Teri Taraf, pata nahi Tu samajh bhi rahi hain ya nahin!"
Sana vigorously nodded her head at that. Still hid against his neck "meko bhi yahi hota hai sidharth. Lekin yeh attraction bohot kutti cheez hoti hai na! Vaisay tunay mujhe bohot special feel karwaya, special bhi aur respected bhi, lekin mein tujhay aur Teri friendship ko iss attraction ke chakkar mein khona nahi chahthi' saying this she sighed and looked up at him.
He had a wry smile on his face "Tu na bohot smart hai sana! Bohot matured bhi, aaj jo hua was very special for me. Lekin mein nahi chahtha ke hamaari jo bond hai issey define rahey hai na? Let's take it as it comes theek hai? Jab bhi ho sakta hai jhappiyan and Papiyan and all' he said as he imitated her.
Both of them laughed and Shehnaaz said "chance pe dance, friends with benefits? Oh I like it!' Saying this she flicked her hai in attitude. She giggled and looked into his eyes while bringing her hips deliberately over his and drew them closer to each other. She grazed her lip against his ears and said "Sidharth meko Gandhe feeling as rahe hain' saying this she nipped his earlobe before sucking on it and then started kissing him in his neck right up till
His jaw. Sidharth eyes were rolled back as he enjoyed this, before he realised camera men were watching. He whispered in her ear, "baby I don't want anyone to see you like this. Chal
Andhar,' saying this he got up held her hand and they both walked back surer of themselves and each other and with an anticipation that neither had felt in a long time.
They settled into bed cuddled and enjoyed the touch of each other's bodies as discreetly as they could and as they were falling asleep she heard Sidharth rumble into her ears 'when I rub your back it feels so good, captain room jab tak hamara hai Tu apnay ke time bra nahi phenegi, samjhi?" Saying this he hugged her tighter and slept. She on the other hand could not put a finger on what she felt hearing such a deeply intimate request that all she could do is kiss his chest as an acknowledgement and hugged him tighter and fell asleep herself.
Sorry about the long hiatus. Now life has sorted itself mostly so will be able to finish this story. Sorry for keeping all of you waiting.