Chapter 9
As I sat in the apartment, alone, for the next hour, I couldn't stop thinking about him. My heart was still beating fast. I knew I had to clear my head, as this was the last thing I needed right now.
IM JUST GOING DOWN TO THE POOL FOR A SWIM, BE BACK FOR DINNER, I texted Caleb, then changed into my bathing suit.
As a kid, I loved to swim. I passed all the levels of lessons with ease and swam weekly up until I was twelve. For the past few years, I'd been avoiding swimming at all, besides the beach in California. That wasn't really swimming, though. I missed being in the water and this was my chance to start swimming again. It calmed me, and also made me feel alive.
I had a towel wrapped around my body as I slipped out of the elevator and into the pool area. I let out a sigh as I realized the entire place was empty. I didn't hesitate to toss my towel onto a chair and jump in the water. I started doing laps, back and forth, only coming up for air. After a while, I was so energized and there was so much excitement running through my body. I loved to swim. It was one of the only things I really enjoyed. I did a few more laps before deciding to sit in the hot tub for a few minutes.
I had my eyes closed when I heard the - loud - door open and close again. I didn't look over. I was only planning on staying in there for a few more minutes, then head back up anyway. I heard the splash of someone getting into the pool. I listened to the rhythmic sound of that person doing laps, just as I had. It steadied my heart. It make me feel good.
I was walking over to the chair that my towel was on when I finally glanced into the pool. He was swimming above the water, paying no attention to me, but I knew it was him. I considered sneaking out, but decided against it. I sat on the edge of the pool, instead. When his head came up, he was surprised to see me.
"How'd you know I was here?" I asked, right away.
"I didn't," he answered, seriously. "I swim almost every day after school."
"Oh."
"So maybe you followed me in here," he suggested, then shook his head.
"I was here first."
"Right. Well, a coincidence then."
I shrugged. "I guess so."
He swam over so he was right in front of me. "This has to be a sign."
"A sign?" I repeated.
"That we should be friends," he went on.
"The only way that we will be friend is if it's a secret," I said quickly.
"I'm okay with that," he shrugged.
I took in a breath. "Don't you have your own friends?"
"Of course. The wrestling team... the football team..."
"You wrestle and play football?" I asked, surprised.
"And I swim."
"So, why do you need me?" I questioned him.
"I don't need you. I want you," he answered, now grinning.
At first, it seemed innocent. But a moment later he was touching my leg, that was hanging into the water, inches from him. And then before I knew what I was doing, I hopped back into the water and wrapped myself around him.
We made out, right there in the pool, entangled, for what felt like only a few minutes. He was such a good kisser and even though my brain was trying to tell me no, my body felt otherwise. But eventually I did realize I could not be seen kissing Bennett Drake in the pool, in the pool in our condo building.
I apologized before hopping out, wrapping my towel around my body and running out of there.
Caleb was home, in the kitchen, when I went back up to the apartment. He smiled, stirring something in a pot on the stove. I tried to avoid eye contact.
"How was your swim?" he asked, before I made it down to my room.
"Good," I answered, adjusting my towel. "Just going to get dressed."
But then I sat in my room on my bed, my mind racing. I had really complicated things and I could tell anyone.
Suddenly I was crying, just sobbing into the pillow, everything crashing around me. I missed my (ex) best friend, Lily, in San Diego. Or maybe I missed the idea of having a best friend. I met her on the first day of eleventh grade and we were together every day for the entire school year. Even after I met and started dating Sheldon, Lily hung out with us all the time. Lily made me feel good about being in California, like I was meant to be there. I told her everything, even the gory details of my life in Harriston in tenth grade. I hadn't even told my dad about that. I told her about how I got so high at a guy's house and he tried to have sex with me. Luckily I somehow got out from under him and left, but I was broken, after that. I even told Lily that I hated my mom for ruining my family and that I never wanted to see her again. Lily and I were going to move in together and go to college together at UCLA. But she wrecked everything. And I ran back to Virginia.
"So," Caleb began, as we sat, eating pasta together that evening. "Fox called today."
"Oh! And what did she say?" I wanted to know. I needed this distraction.
"That the tour is amazing and she missed me," he said, smiling.
"Oh, wow. That's good news."
"Yeah, it is. She'll be gone for another month but..." He let his voice trail off, then added, "I think we will be okay."
"I'm glad." I ate some more of my pasta, then something popped into my head. "Wait. Did she live here?"
Caleb hesitated before answering. "Not officially. She has a place across town. We broke up for a while, a year ago, and she moved out. But she was staying here before she left for the tour."
"So, in a month... what's going to happen?" I asked.
He shrugged. "I'm not sure. But you don't have to worry about that."
I nodded, finishing my dinner. We were both quiet for a few minutes.
"Do you have anything fun going on this weekend?" he changed the subject.
"Not really. Maybe hang out with the girls," I replied, standing up to put my plate in the dishwasher.
Caleb nodded, letting me go. I went back down to my bedroom a few minutes later, where my phone was buzzing on the night stand. I crossed the room to pick it up.
"Hello?"
"Iris, it's so nice to hear your voice," my dad's voice boomed into my ear.
"Oh, hey."
"How are you? You haven't called," he told me, like I didn't know that.
"I'm good. Getting settled in. I like Charlottesville a lot," I said, sitting on my bed.
"Oh, that's great. I do miss you," he answered, then paused for a second. "So, Lily came by the house today." I didn't say anything to this. I couldn't. "Iris, she just wants to know if you're okay. She just-"
"No, I can't do this," I said loudly. "Do not bring her up again, okay?"
He sighed. "Okay, I'm sorry. I just..."
"No. I literally moved away because of her. What she did. So, no, I do not want to hear about her."
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry," he told me.
"I have to go, Dad," I finished, and hung up.
I couldn't catch my breath for a few minutes. Why did he think it would be okay to call and talk about Lily? He knew what happened. Three months had passed and I was not even remotely ready to talk about it, let alone talk to her. Just when I thought I was doing okay, of course this would happen. I had already thought about Lily that day, for whatever reason. And now my dad had seen her.
I spent the rest of the evening in bed, listening to music, trying to forget. Tomorrow would be a new - and hopefully better - day.