Asia's POV
- - - 10 Days Later - - -
Time had flew by and before I knew it, Christmas had come and left and now it was the 30th. I had a really nice break in all honesty. Sure it wasn't how I was planning it to be because Hunter was out of the equation, but I still enjoyed it with my family and friends.
On Christmas Eve, I went over to Cora's house and the three of us exchanged gifts. I ended up buying them more charms for their Pandora bracelets. Cheyenne bought me perfume and lotion kit, and Cora bought me a cute outfit that was a black skirt and a white button up blouse. She claims that I never wear skirts so now I could wear one.
I showed them the gift that Matt got for me. They claim that he likes me but I don't think so. I feel like maybe he's just trying to be there for me. Matt and I have been texting all week. He left to Connecticut on Monday and wouldn't be back until late tonight.
On Christmas Day, I spent it with my family. My parents ended up getting me an iPod, clothes, money, and bunch of other little things. I didn't really want much and with all that was going on, Christmas was the last thing I was thinking about. But it was a nice day for me to just focus on my family and the people that I loved.
Each day away from Hunter helped me grow stronger within myself. I had been thinking a lot and a part of me wanted to speak to him. Maybe I should have just believed him. But what would have changed? Would he still not want to be with me? Would he sabotage me and hurt me again?
I didn't want to be hurt again; I wanted this all to be over. I know I should have given him the benefit of the doubt. But then I remembered what he said to me and how bad his words hurt. I will never forget that he called me a whore. He had no proof to prove that I did that to Matt.
And if anything it was him who did it! He could call me a whore all he wanted, but I knew that I wasn't. I knew what was true and his words did not define my character. I had to just be mature about everything. The thought of being disrespected was enough to keep myself from calling him.
I was in my brother's room, watching him play his Xbox and I complained about how dirty his room was, which annoyed the heck out of him. It was late, almost midnight, but I didn't feel like being alone at the moment. I was surprised when my phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hey hey!" Cheyenne's happy voice rings through the phone.
"Hey, Chey."
"Whatcha doing?"
"Nothing, watching my brother play video games." I pick at the loose thread on my sock.
"Boring." She sings into my ear.
"Tell me about it." I laugh.
"I was calling to ask what you were doing for New Year's Eve."
"Nothing."
Back home I would hang out with friends or family for New Year's, but this year I just expected to be staying in and sleeping. I wasn't in a relationship anymore and I figured the girls would be with their significant others. And I was not too fond with the idea of third wheeling. Or fifth wheeling in my case.
"Great, that's perfect then." She says happily.
"Um, okay?"
"Cora has this huge, legendary party every year for the New Year and it's pretty much mandatory that you come. Everyone will be there."
"Legendary?" I repeat.
"Yeah. Something always happens that makes her parties worth remembering. It's the party to go to. Kyle is even probably going to show up."
"Oh...well sure, I'll go."
"Great! It's gonna be epic. And also, she's letting us sleep over at her house."
"That's fine with me," I say. "Is Nick going to be there?"
"Do you really have to ask to know the answer to that?"
"I guess not." I mumble.
"Oh and in case you're wondering...it's totally cool if you bring Matt." I could picture her smiling at the words and I bit my lip to stop myself from scoffing really loudly.
"I'll ask him."
"Cool. Well Nick is calling so I'll speak to you tomorrow. Love you." She makes a kissy noise into the phone before the line cut dead.
"Kyle?" I call.
"What?" He doesn't look away from his game.
"Are you going to Cora's party tomorrow?"
"Yeah, since the guys on the team are. And because I know you're going to be there."
"What do you mean?"
"Remember what I told you? If you're going to a party, I'm most likely going to be there to keep an on you."
"I'm 17 now, Kyle." I roll my eyes.
"Don't act like I forgot about Kevin, Ace." He pauses the game to look at me.
I felt my throat tighten at the thought and tried to not think about that night.
"I never will. And as long as I'm around, I'm not going to let that happen."
"I guess you're right. But please don't make it obvious that you're watching me." I warn him.
"You'll barely even notice I'm there." He smirks at me.
"Okay, that's fine." I surrender and stand up. "I'm going to bed now. Good night."
"Night, sis." He stared back at the TV to resume playing his game.
I didn't realize exactly how tired I was until I stood up. I claimed that I wasn't tired before, but now sleep had caught up to me and I was ready to succumb to it. I had enough of my boring days and hoped that my New Year's would be a good one.
I sent Matt a text, asking him if he wanted to come with me tomorrow night, but I don't know if he replied because I fell fast asleep.
<>.<>.<>
I kept hearing something ringing. I wasn't sure if it was just in my dreams or if something was actually ringing. At first, I figured it was my dream but when I opened my eyes and saw that my phone was lit and ringing loudly, I knew it wasn't a dream.
I hurriedly leaned up to grab my phone, wondering why it was so dark. I checked the clock.
3:45 a.m.
Who was calling me at almost four in the morning? I quickly clicked the answer button and pressed the phone to my ear.
"Hello?" My voice was thick from just waking up from my deep sleep.
"Asia! Thank God you answered; this is my third time calling you." A more than relieved voice says to me.
I paused, trying to figure out who was on the other line. It was definitely a male, but I didn't recognize the voice very well. Especially since I just woke up.
"Who is this?"
"Nick."
"And why are you calling at me at this time?" I ask. "Call Cheyenne."
"No, I need you."
"Why?"
"Because I need you to come over."
"I think not."
"C'mon Asia, please." He begs.
I wondered what was so important that Nick needed me to come to his house at four in the morning. Seriously, a part of me wishes I didn't answer the phone. How did he even get my number? I pulled the phone away to look at the caller ID, and felt my heart drop.
It was Hunter's name on the screen. This was a set up. He was trying to get me to speak to Hunter. I heard Nick talking and pressed the phone back to my ear. I opened my mouth to speak, but I heard yelling in the background that instantly alerted me.
"What was that? What's going on?"
"Look, Hunter is drunk and completely belligerent right now. He's being disruptive and incoherent. He's yelling and knocking things over and if he doesn't stop, my parents are going to kick him out."
"And where do I come in...?" I ask, flinching every time I hear him yelling in the background.
"Maybe you could help me calm him down? Please?" I could hear the desperation in his voice and knew that no matter what, I had to help Hunter. And when I heard a crack followed by Nick's voice yelling at Hunter for him to chill out, it sealed the deal.
"Okay, I'll come."
"Do you need me to come get you?" He asks.
"No, I'll be there as fast as I can."
"I'll text you the address to my house."
I could hear things worse and my heart race increased. What was going on with Hunter?
I wasn't thinking straight. I just hopped right out of bed and hurried to put some sneakers on. I already had on a pair of leggings so I didn't need to change. I only had on a camisole, so I threw a sweater on along with my coat.
I quietly raced down the hall and into Kyle's room. His TV was still on and he was up laughing at some show. Why was he still awake?
"I need to borrow your keys." I say lowly.
"For what?" He leans up to look at me. "Where are you going?"
"Hunter really needs my help—"
"Wait a minute," He stops me. "I know you did not just ask me to use my keys to my car to go see Hunter at 3 in the morning."
"It's not like that. He's out of control and he needs help."
"So? That's his problem."
"Kyle...you know I can't do that to him." I shake my head.
"I thought you hated him?" He peered at me.
"I..."
I couldn't answer that. No, I didn't hate Hunter. How could I? Even after the relentless battle between the two of us, I still do not hate him. Do I hate the way he's treated me and how he handled the situation? Yes. But did I hate him as a whole? No.
I sigh. "Can I please just use your keys?"
"Sure, I guess. But you better be back before mom and dad wake up because I'm not covering for you." He warns.
"I know, I know." I race over to his dresser to grab his keys. "Thank you."
"Mhm."
"What are you doing up anyways?" I ask out of curiosity.
"I'm watching TV." He shrugs, lying back down.
"Okaaay..."
And with that I quietly raced down the stairs and out the house. I put in Nick's address in the GPS and hurriedly make my way to his house. I haven't driven in so long, yet I was very alert of everything. What was going on with Hunter? Why was he so drunk and being corrupt? I guess I was going to find out...
I parked in Nick's driveway beside Hunter's familiar car. I hop out of the car and race up his pathway and ring the doorbell. Less than thirty seconds pass before the door opens and I see Nick's relieved yet tired blue eyes. He opens the screen door and smiles.
"Thank God you're here." He sighs of relief.
"Where is he?" I ask, taking in Nick's dark home. I saw a light coming from upstairs followed by a loud noise, causing my eyes to widen.
"He's in my room, tearing it apart. I literally want to give him a black eye but he's so drunk he probably won't even feel it."
"Why is he so drunk?"
"I mean we drank a little but by the time I was ready for bed he drank the whole rest of the bottle! He's been like this all break, Asia. His parents are getting angry at him, and so are mine. They're ready to kick him out again and his dad told him that if he comes home drunk like that again he's leaving to live with his grandparents." He explains. "But Hunter's my best friend; I don't want him to leave."
"What do you want me to do?" I ask in a small voice.
"Do you think you could just try to talk to him? Calm him down? He's angry about you..." He looks at me timidly.
"If he's angry about me, what makes you think he wants to see me?"
"I don't know, maybe he'll calm down at the sight of you? It's worth a shot." He sighs and I see the desperation in his eyes.
I came here to help Nick and I was going to try to calm Hunter. Even if we weren't talking, I didn't want him to move away either. Yes it would help me heal, but I don't know how it would be not ever seeing his face again.
I was just shocked. He's been getting drunk every day? Why? I hoped it wasn't because of me. That would make me feel extremely guilty.
"C'mon before he breaks something of mine and pisses me off." Nick mutters and begins going up the stairs.
My heart was pounding. Every inch that I got closer to the room, I found myself aching to see him. I wanted to see him. It's been over 10 days. No matter how much I told myself over break that I was okay, and no doubt that is as okay now, I just needed to see him.
And hearing that he was turning to booze to ease whatever pain he was feeling inside, to escape whatever problems he was dealing with, made me feel at fault. If I was the cause of this...if I was the cause of Hunter potentially ruining his life, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.
Nick opens the door to his bedroom and I see him. He's facing the wall, his forehead pressing against it and his body crouched. His breathing was loud; I could hear it from across the room. He started hitting his hand, his already sprained and braced wrist, against the wall.
Nick's room was completely trashed. Things were knocked over and some things were just ruined. I felt really bad and a bit annoyed that he would do this.
I raced across Nick's large room and grabbed Hunter's arm before he could hurt himself again. He picked his head up and looked at me with wide eyes. They grew wider when he recognized who I was.
"Hunter, stop." My voice was soft.
"What are you doing here?" He sounded breathless. He pulled away from me harshly and back away. I tried to pretend it didn't hurt.
"Nick called me."
"Why would you call her?" He stumbled back a bit and when I tried to help balance himself, he moved away from me.
"Because she's here to help you." Nick says.
"I don't need help. Especially from the person who caused all of this."
Okay, that didn't hurt. Or at least I was going to pretend that it didn't...no matter how much it does.
"Listen, you need to listen to her! Because if you don't you're gonna be leaving."
"Good! Maybe I should leave." Hunter angrily agrees with him.
"No, you shouldn't. Just talk to Asia. Maybe she can talk some sense into you."
"I don't need to talk to anyone! I'm fine." He slams his hand back on the wall and I flinched at the sound.
"Nick, just give us a moment. Please?" I beg.
"Fine," Nick agrees. "You better not hurt her." Nick points his finger at Hunter with a daring glare.
"He won't," I say quickly. "It's okay."
Did I believe Hunter wouldn't hurt me? Not physically of course. He wouldn't put his hands on me, I know he wouldn't. But hurt me emotionally? Well, hasn't he done that enough already?
I'm surprised I'm not used to it by now. But I could handle it. Whatever low blows he was going to throw at me I would just tell myself that he was drunk and incoherent. But then again...don't they say the truth always comes out when you're drunk?
"Hunter," I watch as Nick leaves the room and step closer to Hunter who was staring angrily at the wall. I reached for his hand, noticing that it was beginning to bleed. "Hunter, please look at me."
His head snaps up to look at me, his grey eyes seeming darker than usual. They looked angry and I wanted it to go away.
"Hunter, why are you doing this? Why are you drinking so much?"
"What does it matter to you? All you think of me is a liar." He snaps.
"That's not true," I shake my head. "I know I should've listened to you. But I would rather save that conversation for another day. Just please talk to me, tell me what's on your mind."
"Everything!" He shrieks. "You, my life, my family, every little thing."
"And why are you turning to booze?"
"Because it's the only way to block out the pain...to block the anger I feel inside."
I see the honesty in his eyes and I feel terrible. I know I shouldn't feel terrible because technically all of this was his fault but I still did.
"But you don't have to go around messing things up and punching walls, knowing that you already messed up your wrist from doing that."
"And you don't have to come in here acting like my mother."
"Listen, I just want to help you. If there's something that you want to talk about—"
"There is nothing I want to talk about with you! You won't believe it anyways." He yells at me.
"Yes, I will. I will listen and believe you." My voice was small.
"Why can't you just believe me? Do you honestly think I wouldn't love you after we had fun on your birthday? You're just so inconsiderate."
"I am not being inconsiderate!" I exclaim. "Because you're the one who said all those things that hurt me."
"Yeah, to protect your family! And then you go around acting like a whore with Matt—"
He we go again with that word...
"I didn't do anything with Matt! You're too drunk to remember that you choked him!"
"Just go. Leave." He walks away from me but stumbles. He almost falls and I surprise myself by catching him.
"I'm not leaving until you calm down." I shake my head.
"Why do you even care?"
"I don't know why I care," I whisper. "I guess because I still care for you."
"No, you don't." He shakes his head. "You care for Matt now." He tries to wring himself from my grip, but I wasn't having it. I didn't want to let go.
"That's not true."
"Isn't it?"
"I mean yes I care for Matt in a way...but I'll always care for you more." I tell him honestly.
"Bullshit. That's bullshit and you know it."
"Why is it bullshit?"
Why am I arguing with a drunk?
Maybe because the more we argue, the more it seems that he's sobering up. Or maybe that's what I want to believe.
"Because you didn't fight for us. If you love me and care for me, why you didn't demand an explanation or even beg for me? I tried to talk to you and you didn't listen." His eyes were guarded and I realized that it wasn't just his fault.
If I loved and wanted Hunter the way I said I did, why didn't I fight for him? He was right. Maybe I don't care for him. No but I do. I care for him more than anything. How could I show him that? Maybe it was time to stop trying to avoid him and just work things out.
"Hunter, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I didn't listen and now look where we are."
"Wanna know why I drink? It's to get away from you and the pain that I feel. But even when I get drunk you're still there. Everywhere I turn and I can't stop thinking about you."
I feel my eyes stinging and blink back my tears.
"And it angers me! Why would I want someone who doesn't want me? Someone who doesn't even care that I'm going through all of this, hurting myself because of them? It's bullshit, Asia! And you know it!" He snatched away from me and moves away.
But I just follow him again. No matter how much his words hurt, I won't run away this time. I want him to know that.
"I know and I'm sorry! But you're not the only one hurting, Hunter! I'm hurting, too. I miss you, but I don't know if I can trust you again."
"You're full of shit!"
"I am not!" I yell. He steps closer into my face and I feel myself getting angry again. "I'm just being honest. And if you respected that—"
"Oh like you respect me? You're going on dates with that...that thing and you want me to respect you?" He yells.
"It wasn't a date!"
"I bet you kissed him. Did he take you to his place? Did you fuck him?"
"Stop! Just stop that!" I yell, covering my ears. "You're being disgusting and I won't sit here and listen to it."
"Because you know I'm right, aren't I?" He has a smirk on his face, and I hate it. I want it to go away.
"You're wrong! You're so wrong!" I shake my head and squeeze my eyes shut.
"What did you do with him, Asia?"
"Nothing, Hunter!"
"WHAT DID YOU DO WITH HIM, ASIA?" His voice grows louder and he hits the wall.
I shut my eyes tighter, not wanting to hear this even though I very well could. "NOTHING!"
"Good." His voice was a whisper that caught me off guard.
And when I looked up, he grabbed the nape of my neck and pressed my lips against his. His lips moved roughly against mine and I could feel that there was a lot of emotional stress behind this kiss. It reminded me so much of the good times between us.
He was kissing me hard, trying to pull me as close to him as he could. My hands involuntarily made their way to his hair, knotting my fingers in it. I could feel tears streaming down my face as we kissed but I didn't care. I missed him and I missed this. This is what I've been missing. I didn't know how long this would last because he was still drunk, but I wanted it to last forever.
I could feel my muscles loosening to his touch and accepting that we were just in a really bad place right now. When his tongue slipped into my mouth, it only ignited the fire that was burning inside.
And we stayed like this, not one of us moving. But I knew eventually we were going to be apart again, and he was the first one to confirm that when his lips left mine.
"I bet he doesn't kiss you like that," Hunter whispers, his chest rising and falling quickly.
I could tell he was still really drunk. It was all in his eyes. And it was making me angry that after that amazing kiss we just shared, he was still thinking about Matt.
"He's never kissed me at all." I tell him honestly.
"So where's my necklace? Where's the necklace I bought you?" He's staring at my bare neck angrily.
"It's at home."
"Why aren't you wearing it? Because he bought you something better?"
"Why is everything about him?!" I yell. "He has nothing to do with what is going on between us."
"Oh really?"
"Really."
I look into his eyes when he looks into my face. He stumbles a bit more and leans against the wall. I watch as Nick comes back into the room giving us both a warning glance.
"Is everything okay?"
I nod, just as Hunter speaks.
"I had sex with Ashley." He blurts.
"What?" I paused, my head snapping over to look at him.
"I had sex with Ashley the other night."
"You're lying. You–you wouldn't do that," I stammer, looking up at him with bemused eyes.
"I did. I figured you probably had sex with Matt." He shrugged. His eyes were still hooded from the booze, but something was telling me this was true.
My breathing picked up and it felt like the walls were caving in. He had sex with Ashley? Why would he do that? Especially with her? Maybe he's liked her all along. He claims he doesn't like her but yet she keeps coming back into her life.
And I didn't know how to feel about that. All I knew was that I felt embarrassed by his words and that Nick was standing right there listening to me.
"How could you do that! I thought you didn't like her?"
"I don't! But I wasn't thinking at the time and it just didn't occur to me."
"I haven't done anything with Matt but you went and slept with her! You're disgusting." I try to walk away, but he grabs me by the waist and restricts me. I fight against him, but he holds me tighter.
"Let go of me!" I yell, hitting his chest. "I thought we could move past this! I thought we were going to move up from here but you had sex with her! How could you do this?" My eyes were blurred by tears and my voice kept breaking.
"I needed to be honest with you! We had sex and I won't deny it."
"I bet you loved it, didn't you? Why don't you go to her then? I'm pretty sure your parents would love you being with her." I push against him and I see the anger come back to his eyes.
"There you go again! Always talking about my damn parents! It's not about them, it's about us!"
"No, nothing is about us. I'm done this time and I mean it." I push him away but he still doesn't let go.
"GET OFF OF ME!" I scream.
Nick rushes over and tries to help me get out of Hunter's grip.
"I'm not letting you go!" Hunter grumbles.
"Dude, let go of her before things get ugly." Nick threatens him. He pushes on Hunter's chest, causing Hunter to lose balance and fall.
"You're a pig! Why would you sleep with Ashley out of all girls? You did it to hurt me and I will never forget that!" I wipe away the tears and he stares at me with wide eyes as Nick holds him down.
"Then go!" He yells. "Get out! I don't even know why you came here!"
"I came here to help you! But m aybe Nick should have called Ashley!"
"Yeah, maybe he should've."
I waste no time by hurrying and leaving the house. Tears blinded my vision but I didn't care. I raced out the house and to my brother's car, breaking down.
I keep doing this to myself. I keep telling myself that things will get better and they do, only temporarily of course. The hurt just keeps coming back and I am literally sick and tired of it. I'm done with this back and forth drama, I'm done with all of it.
Maybe Hunter needs to leave. Maybe I don't need to see him again. I'm tired of feeling helpless. And now the thought of him and Ashley are going to be forever etched in my brain. He had sex with her, I know he did.
Did he like it? What did this mean? That they were a thing now? That she was going to replace me? I don't know what I will do if that is true. How could he have sex with her?
The thought of the two of them in bed together literally made me want to throw up. Or maybe it was from all the anxiety and emotions that I felt. All I knew is that when I feel certain amounts of anxiety, I throw up. I felt the bile rising up my throat and I hurried out of the car and to the sidewalk, where it all just came out.
I hunched over, tears streaming down my face. I was pathetic. This whole situation was pathetic. And it needed to be over. My stomach hurt and I now felt really sick after vomiting. I made sure it was all out before making my way to my car. I knew things were bad, but not to the point where I had to throw up bad.
Nothing seemed right anymore and I just wanted to know when I would be myself again. I wiped my tears away and put the key in the ignition. I tried not to cry the whole way back home, constantly wiping my eyes. The sun was coming up but my world seemed to be darkening. And there was nothing I could do about it.
I try to wipe my face again before sneaking quietly back into the house. I opened Kyle's door and placed the keys quietly on the dresser. He was asleep now and I didn't want him to wake up. Sadly, he did.
"Ace?" He groaned.
"Yeah?" My voice shook and I really wish it hadn't. Good thing it was dark.
"Everything okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." My voice was too high pitched to be believed.
"You don't sound fine. What happened?" He was awake now, alerted by my fragile state.
"Nothing, Kyle."
"I know you're lying."
"Going over there was a mistake, okay? I shouldn't have gone, it was just a waste of time." I wipe my eyes again.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No, I'm tired. Just go back to bed okay? I'll talk to you later."
"Okay." He gives up.
I rush out of the room and down the hall to mine. I kick my shoes off and my coat, laying face first on the bed. Tears continued to flow down my face and I stayed in my broken state until I fell asleep. Tomorrow would be January 1st. And I wasn't about to go into the New Year crying.
This was my time to get myself together because I refuse to sit here and cry over Hunter in the New Year.