warnings: mentions of drug addiction, choking, nsfw
"How're you feeling today, bubs?"
Spencer pulls you closer to him, nuzzling his face in your hair. "I feel good."
"How's your pain?" You murmur, keeping your head in his chest.
"Not too bad. My stomach actually doesn't really hurt."
You smile into his chest. "Good."
It's been a couple weeks since Spencer got shot—a couple of painful weeks for him. You still hadn't asked him about the pain medication; you figured he'd tell you when he's ready. You'd basically been living with him for the past couple weeks, helping to take care of him. Occasionally, members of his team would come by to help and see Spencer, and that just meant you got to get closer to his family.
You look up at him, his hazel eyes meeting yours. "I'm gonna go make you coffee. Stay here."
He plants a soft kiss to your forehead. "Okay, pretty girl."
You smile before detangling yourself from Spencer's arms and getting out of bed. You stretch as you walk, grabbing one of Spencer's sweaters as you walk into the kitchen. Turning on his Keurig, you make two cups of coffee. To Spencer's, you add a bunch of sugar, and for you, just hazelnut creamer. Surprisingly, you had found some in Spencer's fridge the day you brough him back from the hospital. You guess he'd bought it for you, just in case.
You stir both coffees before carefully walking the mugs into Spencer's room. He sits up slowly before taking the cup from you. You take a long sip of your coffee before sitting next to him, snuggling next to his side. He wraps an arm around you, and you turn your head to look at him.
He takes a sip of his coffee. "Thank you."
You press a kiss to his cheek before pulling away. "Anytime, bubs."
You two drink your coffees in silence, Spencer occasionally resting his hand on your thigh, rubbing small patterns in your pajama pants. It's been nice staying with him. All throughout his recovery, you two had watched movies and eaten take out. But most of all, you'd gotten to know more about him. His favorite food is Indian. He loves Halloween. He was hospitalized when he was two because he fell off a bridge—he wanted to see if he could fly. He can't swim. He can't cook, either. His favorite book is The Narrative of John Smith by Arthur Conan Doyle—and the copy he carries around with him all the time is one Maeve gave to him. He'd shown it to you, including the inscription on the inside cover of the book. He actually finally talked to you about her, in depth.
It doesn't make you jealous, though. You can't do it. It's not fair to him—to be jealous of a dead woman. The way he talks about her, it's obvious he loved her. And he lost her before they had even begun. They didn't even have a chance. It makes you sad to think of Spencer like that—how heartbroken he must've been. And that makes you want to be there for him more than ever.
And he's assured you he's happy. He's happy with you. He loves being with you. And you know a part of him is always going to love with Maeve. But that doesn't bother you. She's gone, and you're here. And that's that.
"Spencer?"
"Yes, pretty girl?" He murmurs, resting his cheek on the top of your head.
You hesitate a moment. "I want to ask you something, but you don't have to tell me the answer if you don't want to. Only when you're ready."
"What is it?"
You lift your head up off his shoulder and look at him. "Why didn't you take any pain meds? For your stomach?"
His hazel eyes search yours, and he sets his coffee down on his bedside table. You had him yours, and he sets it next to his. He looks back at your face, and you look into his eyes, brows creasing together.
"I used to be addicted to Dilaudid," he whispers, placing his hand in yours, lacing your fingers together. "A man named Tobias kidnapped me when I was twenty-four. He had dissociative identity disorder, and, um, it was actually his other two personalities that tortured me."
"Spencer," you whisper, squeezing his hand.
He gives you a soft smile. "Tobias, when he was actually Tobias, gave me Dilaudid so I could escape. I...took it for a while after I was rescued by the team. I missed one of my friends, who had left before Hotch, the unit chief at the time, could fire her. And my mentor left, which made it worse." He's quiet for a moment. "It helped me escape for a while. I used on and off for...close to a year."
"I'm sorry," you whisper, bringing his hand to your lips, pressing a soft kiss to it.
"I got clean and I haven't used since. Sometimes I wonder where I'd be if I had kept using. I think I'd be dead." His voice is soft, and he meets your eyes. "I was clean for a long time, but before I went to prison, someone drugged me. And it ruined it. But I haven't taken anything since." He gives you a small smile. "I still keep a bottle of Dilaudid in my sock drawer. I can't...bring myself to pour it out. I'd never use it, but it's been there for....almost nine years."
You don't say anything, breaking your grip on his hand to cup his cheek. You gently pull his face to yours, pressing your lips to his. He kisses you back, his hand reaching to cup your face. He gently runs his fingers through your hair, twisting his fingers in it. The kiss is sweet, causing butterflies to flutter in your stomach. After a moment, you pull back, resting your forehead against his.
"Do you know you're the strongest person I know?" You whisper, his eyes looking into yours.
He laughs softly, brushing his nose against yours. "I do now."
You give him another small kiss before pulling back. "What do you want to do today?"
"Honestly, I could just lay in bed and kiss you all day," he mutters, grinning at you.
You give a small shriek as he grabs your waist and pulls you onto his lap. You gently run your hands up your chest, avoiding his stomach. He wraps one arm around your waist, his other hand snaking to the back of your neck.
"You know, doctor, I don't think you're allowed to get physical yet," you say, running your hands up around to the back of his neck, playing with his hair.
He laughs, his fingers trailing down the small switchblade on your necklace. "Shut up and kiss me."
You giggle as you press your lips to his, and he pulls you flush against him, his hand on your lower back. Your lips move against his slowly at first, but with each passing second, the kiss becomes more urgent. You sit completely on Spencer's lap, and he groans, bucking his hips up slightly to press into you.
You reach for the hem of his shirt, pulling it over him, running your hands across his shoulders. His skin is hot under your hands, and you break the kiss, your lips trailing down his neck. You suck on the skin gently, leaving small hickeys in your wake. You pull back after a moment, your eyes trailing down his chest to his stomach, eyes landing on the new small scar just to the right of his belly button. You gently kiss down his chest, avoiding his stomach, sliding back to settle between his legs.
You run your hand over the bulge in his pajama pants, and Spencer's breath hitches in his throat. You watch his stomach tense slightly, and Spencer reaches his hand down, brushing your hair out of your face.
"What are you doing?" He murmurs, eyes meeting yours.
"Just because you can't get physical doesn't mean I can't."
He grins at you, and you palm his dick again, Spencer inhaling sharply. You grin, hooking your fingers in the waistband of his pajama pants before pulling them down. You toss his pants on the floor before looking up at him, trailing your lips across his dick through his boxer briefs. He gently pulls your hair back from your face in a makeshift ponytail, and you press a kiss to his tip.
He groans, bucking his hips slightly, and you hold his hips down. "Don't move; I don't wanna agitate your stomach."
He gives you a cheeky smile and you pull his underwear off of him, wrapping your hand around the base of his dick, trailing your tongue up the underside of it. You watch his eyes flutter shut, and you swirl your tongue around his tip, barely taking it in your mouth. He moans softly, opening his eyes.
"I'm injured; it's not nice to tease," he breathes out.
You laugh softly, slowly pumping your hand up and down his dick. "Maybe if you ask nicely..."
His lips turn up into grin, his grip tightening in your hair. "Pretty girl, please stop teasing me. Please. I need you."
You giggle before taking his tip into your mouth, sucking on it softly before pulling back, making eye contact with Spencer. You slowly take his dick into your mouth, bobbing your head up and down, taking him deeper each time. Spencer lets out a long moan, leaning his head back against his headboard. As he hits the back of your throat, you gag around his dick, holding him in your throat for a moment before pulling off of him.
You let him push you further onto his dick, gagging against him again, tears springing to your eyes. He looks down at you through half-hooded eyes, moans slipping past his lips as you bob your mouth up and down his dick, occasionally taking him deeper. He lets out a big exhale, his dick twitching in your mouth as you increase your speed.
"Fuck, baby, just like that," he breathes out. You continue your pace, pushing him deeper down your throat. "Fuck, that's my good girl."
His praise goes straight to your pussy, and you moan against his dick, Spencer's hips bucking slightly at the sensation. His breathing becomes staggered, and after a few moments, you pulls away, letting his dick fall out of your mouth.
Spencer gives a low groan as you pull away, his eyes flicking to yours. A cheeky grin spreads across your face as you slide off the bed, standing up. You pull your top over your head, Spencer's eyes trailing down your chest.
"Lie on your back," you instruct, pushing your pants and panties down, watching Spencer slide down onto his back.
Your eyes trail down Spencer's body, landing on his hard dick, his tip leaking precum. You gently straddle him, resting your hands on his hips. You grind against him, and his hands fly to your hips, fingers digging into the flesh. You lean over, pressing a kiss to his lips.
"Tell me what you want," you mutter against his lips.
His hands move to your ass, and he squeezes, a small groan leaving him. "You. Please, pretty girl."
You kiss him again before sitting back up, lifting yourself up, Spencer's hands still on your ass. You slowly sit on his dick, you and Spencer's moans mixing together. You slowly grind your hips down, pushing him deeper, your mouth falling agape at the sensation. You meet his eyes before leaning forward, your hands settling on his chest as you begin to ride him.
"Fuck," you groan, bouncing slowly on his dick, Spencer's lips falling open.
He moves his hands to your hips, and you feel him buck his hips up as you come down, hitting your g-spot. You whimper softly, your hands moving up to Spencer's neck. He meets your eyes, his lips turning up into a smile.
"Go ahead, pretty girl. Choke me."
His words make you exhale sharply, and you wrap both hands around his neck. Using the leverage on his neck, you begin riding him faster. You gently squeeze his neck, feeling his pulse jump under your fingertips. He lets out a breathy moan, eyes squeezing shut as you clench around him.
One of Spencer's hands moves to your clit, rubbing in slow circles as you pick up your pace, your breathing deepening. His other hand squeezes your hip, surely leaving small marks from his nails. You squeeze the sides of his neck a little harder, and Spencer shudders under your touch, moving his fingers faster on your clit.
You let out a moan as you clench around him. "Spencer—"
"I know, pretty baby," he breathes out, and you ease up a little on his neck. "Come for me."
Your orgasm runs through you, your whole body shuddering as you come, your pussy throbbing around his dick. Pure pleasure runs through your veins, and you loll your head forward, eyes fluttering shut at the sensation of riding Spencer through your orgasm. Spencer's fingers leave your clit, moving to your other hip, gripping it tightly.
After a few more moments, a string of moans leave Spencer as he holds you down on his dick, his whole body shuddering as he shoots his load into you. His dick throbs, and he slowly moves your hips up and down, and you slowly ride him through his orgasm. Your breathing comes in pants, and after a minute, you release his neck, leaning forward to rest your forehead in the crook of his neck.
"Fuck," you mumble, your voice breathy.
Spencer laughs softly, wrapping his arms around you. He runs his fingers softly up your back. "Holy shit."
"That was...fuck." You plant kisses on Spencer's neck.
"That's one way to start the day."
"Did I hurt your stomach at all?"
"No, pretty girl, I'm fine. I promise." His fingers ghost down your spine.
You laugh, lifting your head up to look at him. "I didn't know you liked being choked."
"I didn't know you liked being dominant."
"I'm not usually," you murmur against his lips.
"I think it's hot," he mumbles before pressing his lips to yours.
The kiss is slow and sweet, and after a moment, you pull back, gently tugging on his bottom lip with your teeth. He gives a breathy chuckle, and you rest your forehead against his.
"Come on, bubs; let's shower."
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Author's Note
Bonjour, mes chéries!
Posting this chapter at 12:52 AM because I can. But also I loved writing this chapter. We got a little dom!Reader and I love it.
Anyway, hope y'all enjoyed this chapter! <3