Training day.
One of my least favorite days, why? I'm missing out. Oh how I wish I could take part in the fighting, exercising, and challenges.
However there is one thing I do look forward to on this day and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Seeing Aldo all hot and bothered, he may be the leader, but he demonstrated how to properly get each task done. Those taught muscles flexing and relaxing at every movement, each breath deeper than the last.
His skills impressed me and that says a lot, it made me all the more mad. I wanted to throw him over my shoulder and hammer kick his handsome-I mean ugly- face into the ground.
I feel like a virgin boy in a whore house, every grunt of his sends me into a feral mood. I wanted to dunk myself in ice and never come out.
The excitement had my leg bouncing up and down, fingers guiding my pen in chaotic scribbles as my restlessness settles into the paper I'm supposed to keep score on.
My face scrunched and bottom lip trapped between my teeth, has it been that long that I can't even control myself. This is a form of torture! I hate them all.
Captain Smith really out did himself, not how he originally intended, but it really did make me wanna throttle myself off a cliff.
"Hey, Doc!"
I nearly send the fucker flying, my palm ready to collide with whoever snuck up behind me. But I stop it just in time to pretend to swat a fly.
"Stupid mosquito- oh hey!"
The image of a yellow leaf on the left arm of the man who has interrupted my anxious bouncing. Wiki. His widows peak and narrowed gaze at my almost too quick reflexes didn't escape my study. He placed himself in front of my makeshift desk built mostly of crates, blocking my view of the training.
Damn my instincts to hell.
The hardest thing about hiding my true nature is the instincts. Every reflex was beat into me until I very nearly passed out. Suppressing a lifetime of experience and instincts is impossible, it is becoming more and more like torture everyday when they see something odd.
"Do you need a smoke? You seem very jumpy." He shakes the box of cigarettes, flicking the top off to offer me some. It was generous, I always see him keeping them close so to be offered one kind of felt like an honor.
I sighed and ran a hand down my tired face, "I appreciate the offer, but-" I can't say I don't smoke often to keep my body in peak performance. I'm already sensing that both Wiki and Aldo are catching on. "-The Captain would chew me out if he caught me slacking off...again."
"Since when do you care?"
I felt the beginning of a pout, however Wiki's remark made my lips involuntarily curl into the most deviant smirk out there.
"You're right. Mama didn't raise a bitch." I took a cigarette placing it between my lips, but before I could pat myself down for a lighter a flame already dances in my face. I look up to meet his gaze, half surprised.
He is studying me careful, lighting the cigarette longer than necessary. Wiki proceeds to lean forward a bit, one eyebrow raised.
"So... what's got your panties in a twist?" His eyes search mine for a bit, then lower to my bouncing leg. He uses his palm to catch it mid jump, keeping it planted firmly on the ground.
I'm tempted to smack his hand off, but he was being nice. I couldn't just hit him for it. Let's just say, I'm touched staved. I think we've all been there.
"I just... haven't been sleeping lately." It wasn't a lie, the bags under my eyes are evident. Though it is just the normal restlessness, nightmares, and overthinking. Only way to get through it is a good mission with lots of fighting. However Smith that bastard has chained me to this very team until the end of the war.
Who knows how long that will be.
We are just barely in camp, we haven't even seen action yet.
"Hm...I'm smart enough to know that you look very frustrated.-" The suggestive tone didn't go unnoticed by me. "-I can help with that if you'd like." his hand grasps my knee tighter, but before I could push it off someone clears their throat.
"Stop yer' slackin and give me 30 pushups!" Aldo's commanding octave sent my knee back into bouncing, I feel like I've gone insane. I'm supposed to be making people feel like this! Not the other way around!
Perhaps this is the reaction I have to someone who matched my energy, unapologetic to the people around them. They didn't answer to anyone and they held themselves high for good reason. Only difference is my attitude masks vulnerability.
Wiki rolls his eyes muttering about how much of a cockblock he is and went back to his place with the others.
Aldo stood straight with his hands on his hips like a father would to a misbehaving child, he takes a long stare at me neither frowning nor smiling. Through the hardness of his gaze is intense.
"G'mornin', ya seem like you'll pounce." He took Wiki's place, but had this imposing air around him as if a wrong answer would earn me a paddling. That scrutinizing gaze taking me in like a eagle does to it's prey. It was as if he was daring me to tell him a fib.
I let out a big sigh, finally releasing the breath I had when Wiki placed his hand on my knee. I'm surrounded by handsome men and I'm torturing myself just being around them. My palm rests itself on my face gathering whatever energy left. Even though I lack the emotional capacity to be someone's other half, it didn't stop my hormones from wanting strong willed men. As much as I starve myself from it.
"Is it really that obvious?" In order to distract myself from the growing tension, I drag out my cigarette and shut my eyes pretending Aldo was Smith to get through it with my sass.
Oh god please- help me to not absolutely devour this man.
I felt a hand grasp the palm on my face, electricity sparks between my skin and his. An indescribable heat over took my body as he guides it away to take a peak at my eyes, his face closer than before with a small tilt of the lips. The way he styled his facial hair to just barely brush against his dimples, it left me breathless.
I've never felt so breathless before. I hated it. I hated it with every fiber of my being, it caused my life to fall apart. These feelings came with a heavy price. I withdrew immediately as if it burned me, it sure as hell was close to doing so.
My heart is pounding so loud in my ears, I rub my temples to sooth the feelings I'm experiencing. I need to focus. Quickly.
"Take the day off to unwind. I don't need the scoring captian wanted. I'd say he likes givin' ya' hell." He is left tilting his head, retracting his hand right back at his side. He leaning back into the crates to how he was before, as if I hadn't just pull away from him so harshly.
He's just using this as an opportunity to investigate me. Don't start getting ideas (Y/n), men can never be trusted. Love is never free, I don't think my heart can take anymore abuse. Besides there is a million other men like him, all bravado and charm. The little voice in my head disagreed, there was nothing ordinary about him.
All I have to do is look at the scar on my back to remind myself absolutely no one can be trusted, no matter what they tell you. It's all lies.
However relaxing doesn't sound all that nice, my gaze switches to the empty obstacle course set for them. I longed to get back out there. I need to fight someone. I want to feel the adrenaline high every time I dived into action, the fire burning like hellfire inside me.
"As tempting as that sounds... Lieutenant. I'm not the type of woman to sit around, I desire something vexing. Doesn't help the Captian wants me more secure than a claymore." I look off into the sky leaning my head back as I watch the clouds adventure off without me. I wish to be like the clouds, unbothered and free. There is no will to bend to and when the water becomes too heavy they are allowed to cry. I'm so burnt out, I want so much more than this... prison.
It's peaceful for a moment, the endless shouting of orders are drowned out. Nothing ruined the momentary slow in time, there is nothing uncomfortable about our silence.
When I peer into my peripheral vision he is focused solely on me, not my body or pretty face. But for a moment it felt like he saw me.
He tilts his head up revealing a massive scar on his rough skin, it looked like rope burn. It's always hidden away in his uniform collar and it's the first time I've seen it so clearly. The way he searches the clouds trying to see it as I do, but it seems he's just as lost.
I catch the sight of its cotton ball design, I felt myself smile not realizing that as soon as I seek the sky again he is focused back on me. These clouds.
"Cumulus clouds... could mean stormy weather. They speak a greater truth about the world than anything ever could..." Storms represent difficulties, loneliness, weakness, and yet it rumbles with strength. They were also the last thing I got to enjoy before I lost it all.
I didn't notice how far off I was until I'm pulled from it,
"That reminds me of a saying a man once told me, 'Every storm runs out of rain, just like every dark night turns into day'."
His words caress the knot in my chest pent up from a decade of suppression. Those vocals easing the tension in my temples, the meaning is clear.
I couldn't help the genuine smile that crawled into my face, using my hand to hide it. I finally meet his eyes that already stare back.
"Wise man." I open my mouth to speak again, but my warden waves me over to him.
My good mood instantly drops, gathering my wits as I sit up. Now standing between Aldo's open thighs, I shrug at him. Now frowning, Aldo looks at where my pointed gaze narrows at. He gave me a nod as if giving me permission to leave.
"Hop to it, darlin' he ain't a patient man. If he gives ya' trouble, point the finger at me. I don't mind getting' chewed out for ya'." He ruffles his hair back and sent a discreet wink, the playfulness of his statement earning a shake of the head.
I scoff, rolling my eyes with equal energy. "All good things come to those who wait."
I slaughter off to the Captain and into the field where everyone else is gathered. He set down a part of a sleek M1 Garand, taken apart and now laid out on a table in front of everyone. It's a common automatic rifle given to everyone who fights, not something I use a lot, but I've put together these babies at least 1000 different times.
When I approach I felt the gazes of all 8 bastard's heavily on me. He pulls me aside urgently, "The Second Lieutenant walked out on us, transferred out of here to the frontlines. Poor bastard..."
Smith stood tall arms crossed and looking down as me as I stood cool as a cucumber. I didn't even make the effort to hold myself up straight, it didn't matter.
Smith is a simple man, he hates anything he can't control. But when push comes to shove, he will deliver when needed.
"...You'll be acting Second, if you drop this childish act then I will reconsider-" He held up a finger about to point it at me like one would scold a little girl.
I am tired of the disrespect. The treatment of a child when I'm the most respected agent in this whole platoon. I make things happen. I am the person who gets them their information, I sacrifice my own identity for their wars and what do I get?
Scolded for not doing exactly as told.
I straighten myself up dropping my act, the untamed fury finally igniting my body. The air around me shifts into the dangerous woman I was before this... humiliating job. Instead of lashing out and making an ass of myself, I smirk.
My eyes took him up and down then leaning in so no one heard us. I tsk at him like a mother would, "Oh, you men have such fragile egos... admit it. You need me. I'm your Trump Card."
I lick my teeth, relishing at his conflicted eyes. His expression stubborn and with the clear of the throat he tugs at his collar ready to correct me. "That's-"
I ignore him already walking to the M1, I'm finally in a real position. No more humiliating wolf whistles, cheesy pick up lines, and degrading language.
I'll show them who their mommy is now.
"Alright cocksuckers, I'll only do it once!" I could feel the looks of confusion burning into me as I assemble it with the speed of someone whose done it a million times. The cocking of the gun following after just barely 30 seconds. When I look up to the squad, they stood with their jaws hung open. Wiki's cigarettes' fell by his feet and Aldo stood eyes narrowed with an appraising look. Donny is like a puppy, eyes wide in adoration.
The captain pleased, nodded his head and announced. "You will be required to assemble it within 5 minutes by the end of the day. Get to work! There is instructions below the boxes provided."
I just added fuel to the fire. Who says one has to be afraid of fire? I personally love to watch things burn.
This mask, a widowed nurse out to help the soldiers because of the goodness of her heart was not me. I shed the skin like I did with every character.
I'm a scorned bitch out to set the world on fire. The world turned its back on me and so I turned my back on it. Nothing will ever change that.
Trust is another word for being foolish, one can never trust anyone. In the end we are selfish creatures, striving for one thing. Could be wealth, women, or even glory. For me? It's the excitement.
A life of adventure is all I ask for. Well... and to castrate the man that literally stabbed me in the back. After that's accomplished I can retire with a smile on my face.
Until then I'll keep up this pathetic excuse of a life and do the governments dirty work, it's the only way to become strong enough to face that man.
After a grueling rundown, a file is shoved in my face as I'm practically kicked out of his commanding tent. Sometimes I wonder why he even keeps me around if he hates me so much, then I remember... I'm too useful to be dismissed.
I let out a grumble, sifting through the papers failing to realize before that this is filled with paperwork.
Hm. I'll have to look into this more. However before I could come up with a list of possible answers, my forearm is caught between a harsh grip.
I glare up into whoever had the audacity to grab me, who do people think they are? Always grabbing up on me like I don't have something called personal space. There will be an accidental death one day.
"I will break your fucking arm if you grab me like that-"
"Cut the shit, Who are you?" His voice is way too hostile, eyes burning holes into my harsh ones. The tone of Wiki's voice sent my mouth curling into a smirk.
"You sure know how to show gratitude to someone who takes care of you. I'll suggest you keep your hand off me or you won't get it back." My teeth bared and eyes colder than frost.
His grip tightens, frown deepening. He opens his mouth to retort, but he is roughly shoved into a pile of crates. The sound of crashing and yelling filling the camp.
"Hey! Why are you grabbing her like that?! Show the woman some respect!" Donny came at him hard, hand already at the smaller mans collar and ready to pummel him.
My eyes widen, he stood up for me? Why? Won't he get in trouble? Doesn't he have the same questions?
Wiki shoves back failing to budge the raging bull. "Didn't you see her put together that gun like it was child's play? She could be a German spy!"
This all gained attention, all eyes on the three of us. The air is tense, thicker than Donny's skull.
I couldn't help it, I am gasping for air at the accusation. My hysterical laughs echoing around the camp, my fist slamming onto the heavy provision crates.
My demeanor changed in an instant, voice is deadly, eyes ignited into hellfire. All this pent up aggression festering inside me fights to be released. The fury and scorn hidden deep inside unraveling into defense, the biggest insult is being associated to those monsters. The very monsters that took everything from me.
"If I was a German spy like you say, why would I reveal these skills to you in the first place?? Are you absolutely mental? Is all the training you have invested in that marksmanship of yours?? I need you to think carefully before you come at me like that because next time there will not be a warning.-" I turn to everyone eating popcorn at the apparent drama. "-The same goes for everyone else! What are you guys loose lipped whores? Get back to your training or I will be the one proctoring it! And I swear if you don't believe in a god, I'll have you praying to one for my mercy!"
My words send the audience scampering away like cockroaches in light.
I place a hesitant hand on my Rottweiler's shoulder encouraging him to let go on the resisting Wiki. He reluctantly let him go, giving me a look that could only say 'are you okay?' This man continues to surprise me.
Wiki is harshly dropped to the ground, his eyes everywhere but me. I adjust my uniform, pushing through my tent with my head held up high. I hate it here. I think this might just be the worst mission I've ever gotten.