The rest of the week was spent in misery. I barely left my room, spending hours laying in darkness and silence or sleeping away the pain. I didn't move from my bed much, only got up to use the bathroom or occasionally take the food that Kurapika would leave for me behind the door.
Poor Kurapika having to deal with my corrupted state of mind. I never once let him in my room, I didn't want him to see me like this. I didn't really speak to him either. He would knock on the door some days to ask if I was okay or wanted to talk, just basic questions to make sure I was still alive and hadn't died in that crusty room. He didn't appear mad when I didn't give a reply which went beyond a 'no' or, in some occasions, just a pathetic grunt, he just turned away and did whatever he did. I did feel bad about it, but not bad enough to force myself to get up.
That was until the particular Monday of the following week. I felt like getting up, surprisingly. Maybe it was the fact that my body was so sick of me for being a lump of sadness for so long, or the way that I was aware of how unproductive I had been over the last few days, or even just boredom of staying huddled in those same blankets over and over again. All I knew was that I had had enough of it, I wanted to be me again. And, maybe because I realised that, Enri would have never wanted me to be like this. She was never a girl who would want people to mope or cry over her. If she were here, she'd give me a grin and tell me to cheer up. The thought was comforting; it was almost as if I could really hear her voice and see her face.
It was what motivated me to continue living my normal life that morning. I had woken up a lot earlier than I had meant to. Not that I planned to get up incredibly late, like I usually did, I just hadn't expected to wake up at almost eight in the morning.
It felt weird. It wasn't that I was still upset about Enri. Of course, the feelings will always be there but I wasn't as broken as before because I had learned to accept it. I kept reminding myself that Enri wouldn't want me to be upset like this anyways.
The first thing I noticed when I emerged from the bedroom was the house was silent. There was no sound at all from the little cottage. Only the birds chrirping in the distance or the very faint laughing of village children from below the hill. I went back into my room and did my hair for the first time in a while. I got changed too. I wore a dress today, I hadn't worn one in a while. It was pale and went off my shoulders, it reminded me of freshly cleaned bedsheets and white carnations.
After getting ready, I skipped across the house and stood outside a closed wooden door. I took the handle and jiggled it slowly, trying to make as little noise as possible while I opened it a crack to poke my head in. The room inside was dark so not much was visible, but I managed to make out a boy's figure under the cotton covers of the bed. I closed the door carefully after making sure that Kurapika was, in fact, still here. I never knew what he did during the time that I had locked myself away. I never saw him because, as I mentioned, he only communicated to me through a door. It was a mystery as to what he did during the days, I needed to ask him about it later.
After making sure Kurapika was still asleep, I got to work right away with making something for the two of us. I was thankful to him for staying with me yesterday so I wanted to show him by giving him a proper breakfast.
Two hours had passed before I was nearly finished with the preparations, taking the tray out of the small, old oven, when the door of the guest bedroom released a loud creak. I almost dropped the tray of pastries when I heard the raspy voice of my friend ask: "What are you doing..?"
I giggled and took off my pink oven mits. "I was making breakfast for us. I know you're not one to like sweet things but I thought that it would be nice if-"
"You left your room." He interrupted me with a surprised statement.
My lips parted as I stared at the boy who stood in the doorway. His hair was a mess, golden strands sticking up in all directions and his clothes where practically slipping off his slim figure, the neckline exposing his collarbones and his sweatpants falling so low that they grazed the wooden floorboards. "I did." I said in a tone equally as dull as his. I knew why he said that. He must have been surprised to see me up so early and joyous as if I wasn't just bawling my eyes out the previous day. I returned to the hot cinnamon rolls on the counter and began sorting them into a small marble plate. "I'm... I'm not over it, Kurapika. But I feel a lot better now, I think. I've been thinking, and my sister wouldn't have wanted me to mope over her." I smiled sadly while clearing the wooden counter of any crumbs. "Go get ready and come join me for breakfast." He stared at me for a moment before going back into the room to do as he was told. In the meantime, I poured two cups of tea.
It wasn't long until Kurapika came back to the table in an attire slightly different from usual. He wasn't wearing his training suit but instead a loose white tee along with a pair of black pants. He wore the same white ankle socks which he had woken up in. I sat across from him and took a cinnamon roll into my plate as I sipped my tea. He had his fingers curled around the tea cup while his other elbow was propped up on the table as he rested his chin on his palm and watched me. "Is something wrong?"I asked him.
"Nothing is wrong."
"Then why are you staring at me?"
"I'm thinking."
"Thinking of what?"
He took his eyes off me nonchalantly and stared down at the breakfast on the table. "These pastries are nice, when did you learn to make them? I've never ate something made by you until now. You're good at this."
I smiled at the blonde in front of me. He always did this. Whenever he was faced with a question he didn't want to answer, he would change the subject. I rolled with it and began telling him the origins of my mastery in food-making while he smiled and listened.
We talked together until the plates were empty and our tea was finished. I began gathering the empty teacups while Kurapika took the plates to the sink. We cleaned the dishes together, with me doing the washing and Kurapika on drying duty. I looked out the window directly in front of us; the weather was nicer than usual. "Hey, if it's okay with you, I'd like to show you around." I mumbled just loudly enough for the man beside me to hear.
"That would be nice." He replied.
From the corner of my eye, I observed the way his white sleeves had been rolled up to his elbows, exposing his thin arms which were occupied with rubbing a towel over a wet plate. It was the first time I had seen him wearing an outfit so... normal, I guess. But it never bothered me. It was nice, actually, to see him wearing something new for a change.
After we were done, I took a lovely straw hat which had a white ribbon wrapped around it, it matched my dress and Kurapika threw on a pale blue blazer. I took his arm as we left the cottage, walking down the hill with our elbows linked with one another's.
The wind blew through my hair as we admired the scenery. "Where are we going exactly?" Kurapika asked.
I let go of his arm and said, "There's somebody who I would like to see first." He nodded at my response and continued following me down the dirt path.
We passed many landscapes of our village on our journey and I told him stories about the things I experienced there as a child. Like when I would play hide and seek with the village kids in the tall, healthy wheat field which was now just unused dry land since we got our resources from overseas, or how we would spend our early teen years gathered around a tire swing on the old oak tree at the center of the village, which had now been renovated into an even more beautiful and useful well. I spoke to Kurapika as we walked down the same path which I had made a lot of memories on, telling him many of my tales as he listened with his gorgeous smile. I couldn't remember the last time I had told someone this much about my memories.
Alas, we arrived at the familiar circular building. The soil there was softer and the smell resembled leaves and rain, which made sense as the small home was directly beside the beginning of a forest. I knocked on the tatami doors and waited for them to slide open and reveal a man of average height in a training outfit.
He looked between Kurapika and I then blinked twice. "Didn't expect to see you here," said the tall boy in a deep voice. "I'll go tell Obachan." He beckoned me in and I entered. I stepped inside and took off my shoes, Kurapika following my actions.
"Do you two know each other?" My partner whispered to me as he placed his leather shoes next to my ethereal flats.
I nodded, "He's an old acquaintance. We used to train together."
"Train? So does this mean that this is-" he was cut off when an old woman entered the room, her long yukata dragging across the floor as she shuffled along the carpet to us.
She stopped in front of me and stared up with caring eyes. "I wish you had came here during better days. I'm sorry about what happened to Enri." She tore her gaze away from me but brought them back around once I thanked her for her condolences.
"I see you've been well." I said. The woman only laughed, claiming that she wasn't getting any weaker.
"These kids have me active by keeping me running around and chasing their mistakes." She chuckled, referring back to her students. She stopped speaking and looked to Kurapika who stood in silence behind me. She offered him a smile, a kind smile that she had never shown me, "And who is this?" She asked gently.
I was about to answer for him but he stepped in front of me and spoke to the shorter woman instead, "My name is Kurapika." He said. "I'm a friend of (Y/N)'s. We came here together after finding out the news."
I smiled when he said it that way. He didn't say he had come with me. He didn't say he brought me. He said we came, together. Together. I liked how he specified that.
"I see. Why don't you two join me for some tea. I'd like to know of (Y/N)-chan's stories."
~
As expected, Obachan sent one of her students to prepare tea for the three of us. She took us to sit in the main hall around a small table conveniently placed at the front where we could see all the youths who were practicing fighting techniques. I sat in a kneeling position next to Kurapika who did the same as we drank from our cups. I told her about my job as a bodyguard and explained the events and fights we were involved in (although I did not mention anything about the Phantom Troupe).
The older woman laughed as I told her some stories of the two of us."I'm glad that (Y/N)-chan has found a responsible boy like you, Kurapika-kun." Obachan said, looking at said boy. "Who knows what trouble this stupid girl would have caused without someone like you with her." She said casually as if the person she was insulting wasn't sitting directly across from her.
"I'm not that troublesome!" I exclaimed, earning a raise of an eyebrow from the older woman.
Kurapika chuckled and shook his head. "Although (Y/N) can be a bit difficult at times, she's a delight to be with." He said. I furrowed my eyebrows, unsure as to whether I should be angry that he called me difficult or ecstatic because he said I was delightful.
What the hell was this anyways, a parent-teacher conference? Worst of all, the two were acting as if I wasn't there at all as they shared my traits and slip-ups with one another. I decided I had had enough when Obachan was telling him of my embarrassing moments when I was still her student. I was not about to sit idly by while she exposed me like this in front of the boy I liked.
Waving my arms in front of the woman, I yelled before she could continue any further into more stories about me, "That's enough, Obachan! You can stop now!"
The cruel lady giggled, as did Kurapika, and insisted to the boy that there were many more instances she wished to tell him if she hadn't been interrupted by me. "Honestly, Kurapika-kun, I admire you for having the patience to deal with this girl, she tires me out too much." She said in a light-hearted tone, although, something inside me told me that she wasn't joking. Gee, thanks, I thought while resting my chin on my palm at the casual insults that I was too used to.
Kurapika set his empty cup down on the table softly and turned his attention to the group of students who were all throwing synchronised punches. "I find her presence rather nice at times." He said. At times? Does that mean he sees me as good only occasionally? This conversation was disheartening me quite a bit, I couldn't lie. It was a lot more fun when I was bragging how cool and powerful I was in Yorknew.
Obachan leaned in, a grin spread across her wrinkly face. "Kurapika-kun," She responded, bringing said boy's attention to her. "You speak greatly of (Y/N)-chan. I'm happy that she has you with her."
I mentally groaned. The old hag made it sound as if I was some pitiful creature that had never experienced any sort of care in my life. Sighing, I got up and stretched my arms above my head. "It's getting late. We should go." I said to Kurapika. The boy nodded at me and turned to face the old Hunter once more, signifying that he was about to give her a reply. "I'll wait outside." I interrupted, not wanting to stick around.
The two nodded as I began to exit the hall, fist-bumping an old friend who I used to train with on my way out. Before I slipped through the tatami doors, I heard Obachan speak to him in a broken, yet caring voice, "Take care of her, Kurapika-kun." The command made me smile. Obachan had always been a caring woman towards her students, but rarely showed it, instead covering it up with insults and rude nicknames.
I leaned against the walls of the building as I awaited my friend. He didn't make me wait long because he stepped out after a few minutes. "Your sensei is a good woman." He said.
"As if." I scoffed.
He chuckled and we began walking back. As promised, I showed Kurapika around the village, taking him to my favourite spots and exploring the newer buildings that had been built while I was away. We spent most of the day walking around and laughing together. I was happy.
For the first time in a long time, it felt great to be outside and have fun. I think Kurapika liked it too because he was laughing just as much as I when telling him about the stupid things us youth would do here. That day felt unreal, almost therapeutic in a way.
In the late afternoon, we got dinner together at a small cafe run by an old couple. It was very pleasant and peaceful, the two of us enjoyed it. After that, we strolled through the plaza until it got dark, looking through the stalls and all the magnificent things being sold, but never buying anything. We returned to the cottage many hours later.
"I'm glad that you felt better today." Said Kurapika as he sat down onto a chair next to me after pouring a cup of tea for himself and for I.
Taking a sip from the cup, I mumbled, "Me too."
I didn't have to look at him to know he was staring at me. Things were quiet for a while. "Are you really okay?" He asked, quietly. I didn't respond so he continued, "I lost my family too. My entire clan, (Y/N). I know what it feels like to be alone. It hurts, a lot. It's okay to be upset about it." He said, cupping his hand around his drink.
I was glad that I was sitting next to him and not opposite him, this way I didn't have to look at his face when I spoke. "But I'm not alone." I replied. "Because I have you."
My heart stopped, as did all form of sound in the room. Finally, I raised my eyes to look at the blonde who looked taken back. I observed the way his chest fell and his eyes softened before he gave me a sad smile. He acted as if I said the kindest thing in the world. His lips parted as if he was about to say something but remained silent with having nothing to say.
I set the empty cup down onto the table and got up from the chair, stretching. "It's really late." I said, looking up at the clock which claimed that it was already past midnight. I hadn't realised time had gone so fast.
Kurapika nodded, getting up after me. "Yes, we should both sleep." He said as we took the teacups to the sink to clean tomorrow.
I bid my farewells to the boy before disappearing behind the door. It had been a long day, despite it not feeling like it. I slipped into the same bed that I had been sleeping in for the past week, although, this time I was in a better place. I tried to sleep.
Many hours must have passed of me just twisting and turning in bed. I couldn't sleep. It wasn't that I was tired either, which didn't help. Eventually, I gave up attempting to sleep. I took my phone off the side table and checked the time. Half past three in the morning. Great.
I groaned, realising I had been trying to sleep for almost three hours. Kurapika was most likely asleep at this time too, so why couldn't I? There was nothing for me to do either which only added to my boredom.
And then a thought hit me. Due to the time differences, it would be only morning for a particular friend of mine. I hadn't spoken to him for weeks. And since I couldn't sleep, right now would be a perfect time to catch up with him.
I dialed his number in my Beatle-07 and within two rings, the call was answered. "Hey, Leorio." I said softly.
"Yo, (Y/N)! How is everything?" I began talking with the cheerful man. He told me that he was chilling out at home so he had time to chat. I filled him in on what happened.
"I'm sorry to hear that." The man said. "God, you must feel horrible."
I bit my bottom lip, trying to refrain from breaking down once again, "Thank you, I feel better about it now. Can- can we change the subject?" I asked.
I could hear a clap from over the phone, "Of course!" He yelled. "How is Kurapika?"
"He's fine." I said. "He's asleep in the other room right now." I paused and hesitated before saying, "He was good to me, Leorio. He never spoke too much and it wasn't like he didn't say enough either. He stood close to me when I wanted him to and far away when I needed to be alone. I never once had to tell him what to do. It felt like he just knew."
Leorio sighed over the phone, "That's Kurapika for you. He's dealt with a lot of loss in his life, I'm sure he knows how you feel and wants to help in any way he can. You two have a good relationship."
He continued talking about friendship and it's whole concept, waffling into a philosophical mess and somehow finding a way to link it back to the boy with the scarlet eyes. I thought he was going to go off and rant about a completely different topic and forget about what we were talking about in the first place- it seemed like that by the direction in which his speech appeared to be headed in. But I guessed wrong. He managed to bring it all back around to Kurapika and I once more. "You're too smart not to know how rare, how special, what you two have is."
I didn't know what he was talking about, we were just platonic friends. I was never anything significant to him. "Kurapika is Kurapika." I said, as if that summed things up. I didn't like what Leorio was implying, I tried not to let him lead me any further down this road. "He may be intelligent-" I began but was cut off by a scoff.
"Intelligent? He's more than intelligent. What you two have has everything and nothing to do with intelligence. He is good, and you were both lucky to have found each other, because you too are good." I had never heard Leorio speak this way before. It disarmed me.
I bit my trembling lip and looked down. "I think he is better than me, Leorio." There. I confessed it. I thought Kurapika was better than me, too good for me.
"I'm sure he'd say the same about you, which flatters the two of you."
I didn't know what Leorio was on but, whatever it was, I wanted twenty pounds of it. He must have been out of his mind to think that Kurapika returned the same feelings of admiration towards me. To the Kurta, I was nothing more than just a little girl. "You're on drugs." I said.
I couldn't see him over the phone, but I imagined that he was shaking his head with a sigh. "I prescribe drugs, (Y/N), not take them."
We both laughed. And then, it occured to me, that neither Leorio nor I had confirmed that the two of us were actually talking about love or the idea of soulmates, we just knew. I was grateful for the conversation because it helped me finally admit my true feelings to someone. My chest felt lighter.
I wanted to ask him how he knew. But then how could he have not known? How could he not have realised?
"It's getting late." I finally said. "I should get to sleep and let you return to your studies."
"Alright. But, hey, remember what I told you, kid. I'll be off now, take care of yourself. See ya!" He ended the deep conversation with an excited tone. I lowered the phone and stared at the glistening moon. What Kurapika and I had was special. That's a nice thing to think about. But did he ever think that too? Maybe, just maybe, I could muster the courage to ask him.
~
This chapter was incredibly long, I am aware. It would have been more efficient to split it into two chapters but I didn't feel like that would feel right so here it is, all in one! Thank you.