: i know you ain't a drug, but you get me so high :
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☁️ Loyalty ☁️
"Hand me the butter out the fridge, please, ma'am," Michael's mom, Katherine, spoke to me as Janet and I were in the kitchen helping her make Michael and Janet a birthday breakfast. Janet had told me that their mom wanted me to join them, which I thought was the sweetest so I didn't hesitate to take her up on the offer.
Today wasn't actually their birthday, in fact it was Friday and the twins' birthday was Sunday—but CJ starts school at Spelman the following Monday, so we had to make somethin' work in favor of her. The night Michael and Marlon got into it was also the night I finally found the courage to finally tell CJ I was gon' skip the extra education, which was already obvious since I hadn't brought it up all damn Summer.
Her exact response was, "Loyalty, it's all good! You ain't gotta lie to ya best friend, girl, it's okay if you don't wanna go". Which led to us having a sappy girl talk about endlessly anxious 'bout growing up, and how high school flew by.
I think we cried once or twice and Reese called us sissies, while Michael laughed like it was the funniest thing he's ever heard. Who even says sissies still?
Just 'cuz I wasn't good at change doesn't mean I won't have to endure it at some point—and I wanna be prepared.
Anyway, Janet had informed her parents how we booked an Air BnB for the weekend, which I was surprised that we were able to do since it was pretty last minute. Like, two days in advance, last minute—but Reese and CJ pitched in with helpin' me pay for it so in the end it all worked out I guess.
Usually, Katherine always makes sure her kids wake up to somethin' on their birthdays, even if it was something as simple as a breakfast. Either way, she went all out for it.
She talked to me about how while Michael, Janet, and Marlon were growing up they'd always adore family traditions but once high school hit they slowly started to grow out of it, and each other. Which I could tell saddened her, 'cuz Joseph (their dad) jus' described it as "them becoming their own person" but I think even when growing up, you could still make time for your family.
I mean, I wouldn't make time for my family, but you get the gist.
Michael always tells me his family isn't as great as they seem when I'm around, so of course I'll never know firsthand what he means. I've witnessed them argue plenty of times, once in October during senior year I actually saw Michael and Marlon get into a fist fight, which Reese, CJ, and I quickly had to break up.
I've seen Michael get upset before, be irritated, and whatnot. But seeing him fight is, like, a whole 'nother different thing. That day when he fought Marlon I just saw tons of pent up anger towards him be unleashed, which was kinda scary in a way. But also weirdly intriguing... don't quote me on that.
Janet sometimes tells me that when the three of 'em were younger, Michael and Marlon were closer than her and Michael which sparked small hints of envy. Them bein' twins 'nd all, she thought she would be able to call her brother her best friend, but now even though Michael don't even fuck wit' Marlon like that anymore, she said it feels like Michael's shutting her out still.
I can't relate to Janet's perspective at all, 'cuz I shut my brother out a lot, too. I know Kam means well and he tries to keep the peace between my mama and me, but it jus' seems like he nonverbally rubs it in my face that he actually has the love of my mother.
Maybe that's why Michael doesn't talk to Janet as much, because she has somethin' that he knows internally he'll never have and has to be reminded of that everyday—even if nobody says anything. Or it could just be simply resentment, what the fuck do I know.
Closing the refrigerator and with the container of Country Crock branded butter in my hand, Katherine's head nodded towards the countertop next to stove as a gesture to put it down there. Once I did so, she sparked up another conversation between her and I.
"So I heard y'all got plans this weekend," she casually stated before jokingly adding, "Y'all betta' not come back wit' some grandkids for me."
"Yes, ma'am," I obeyed, before the two of us fell into a fit of light giggles.
"Janet gon' cockblock anyway," Marlon chimed in as he stepped into the kitchen, tossing an empty water bottle into the stainless steel trash can that was placed by the doorway. Kissing her teeth, Janet paused from chopping up tomatoes on the cutting board before turning around and pointing the blade in Marlon's direction.
"I'on block you from bein' on Alore's. Now what, hoe?"
"Damita Jo," Katherine scolded Janet by her middle name due to her casually referring to Marlon as a hoe, but also the fact that she was holdin' the point of an eight inch chef knife in his face. "Chop the tomatoes, child, not ya brother."
Hearing her call Janet by her middle name gave me a sting of bad nostalgia to when my mama does the same thing. I never realized how common that actually is until now.
"You ain't hear him call me a cockblocker, ma'?" Janet complained, while placing the knife back down onto the cutting board and Marlon obnoxiously laughed. I didn't even realize I was smilin' in amusement myself until Janet pointed it out, "Now you got Loyalty laughin' at me, too. This racist fa' real."
"Girl, bye," Katherine waved her off, as she finished spreadin' butter across the circular, sonic gray pan that was a pale orange on the interior.
"See, ma', I knew I was right ta' think I was yo favorite," Marlon joked with Katherine, before she set him straight as well.
" 'Nd you thought wrong, boy. Go wake yo brother up."
"Oh, Mama Kat clearin' folks today," I commented, while Katherine and Janet began to laugh and Marlon just smacked his teeth before he disappeared from the doorway of the kitchen, going to wake up Michael like their mama had told him to. Once Janet finished chopping up the tomatoes, Janet got them into a small glass bowl and set them aside, as she then yawned.
"I'a be back, ma', I'm goin' ta' change."
Janet didn't even hear her mom's casual okay as she exited the kitchen leaving Katherine and me. There was a comfortable silence for a few seconds, and as I finished whisking eggs in a plastic bowl preparing for her to make omelets, she then took the bowl from my hands and began pouring the mix into the pan.
"You startin' school, Loyalty?" she asked, but only this time it didn't irritate me. Usually, hearing people ask me about school just felt like another dreaded conversation—but her tone sounded like she was genuinely interested in my answer, whether it be yes or no. She curiously looked over at me with her kind eyes, and I then shook my head lightly.
"No, ma'am," I answered almost hesitantly, awaiting some type of judgmental reaction but I continued anyway. "I'on think I'm in the right head space for it. Plus, finances are... difficult."
I held back from telling her that "finances are difficult" is code for "my mom hates me and she doesn't care where I end up as long as it's outta her house soon". I've never felt so stuck wit' myself.
"Did you not apply for any scholarships?" she inquired, glancing down at the sizzling egg covering the surface of the pan before she brought her eyes back to me.
"I looked at some, actually," I truthfully told her, recalling back to nearing the end of junior year when I actually considered school. "But none of 'em really seemed to interest me. I can never come up with a valid answer when people ask me what I wanna do. Still tryna' find out, I guess."
"I think you're a smart girl," Katherine complimented, "You'll figure it out, child."
An involuntary smile came to my face, feeling relieved that I was free of judgment. Why couldn't my mama be more understanding like Katherine is?
"I hope so," I stated in a joking manner, although under the surface of my comment I really wasn't joking. I hoped that I figured it out soon, 'cuz time ain't waiting for anybody. It doesn't matter if I'm ready or not, the earth will still rotate on its axis twenty-four hours everyday. Honestly, I didn't even know what I liked to do hobby-wise.
I wasn't artistic like Michael, or good at makin' clothes like CJ, or rational and reasonably argumentative like Reese... all of which could definitely get them somewhere. All of the activities or clubs I tried in high school failed.
Cheerleading freshman year? Twisted my ankle and fractured my arm within the same game while doing a back tuck. Basketball sophomore year? Dislocated my knee on defense. Track junior year? Hell no. I was smokin' too much by then to even attempt to run a one hundred. Senior year, I took public speaking—which wasn't terrible, but I nearly had a damn panic attack every time it was my turn to present in front of the class, so I recited my speech to my teacher during the lunch periods. I never ate school lunch anyway, Michael or Reese always brought somethin' back for me when they went off campus to get food.
"He sees somethin' in you, y'know," Katherine said in reference to Michael, as she had a metal spatula in her right hand and gently slid it under the egg to check its consistency. "At first I thought he was jus' speakin' nonsense 'cuz he's in over his head for you, but then I started to see it, too."
"In over his head for me"... I don't know if I'm ready to understand the exact context of that. 'Cuz I have many theories.
But the second was always a statement I didn't understand. Every time I heard it, it made me think "See what? What do you see? Tell me!" like everyone who's told me that was some kind of psychic that could predict my future, and I could easily be handed the answer from them. Sometimes, Michael's feelings for me were intimidating because the amount was evident, but not intimidating in a bad way. He does it shamelessly, and that's rare—especially in this generation. It gives me hope that I really do have potential, and once I find my niche I'll for sure stick with it.
The more time we spent with one another, the more comfortable I was getting which I really liked, and I could tell he liked it as well. Before we'd gotten together, I was confused 'cuz I didn't know if it was safe to step out of my comfort zone and actually be myself around him. Sure we've known each other for over two years, but there's only so much you can learn about someone solely from just being friends with them. And he would always go on about being patient for me, and how he didn't care about the things I were insecure about, but I didn't believe him.
Any nigga can assure and tell you how much they like you just to end up gettin' what they want, especially mid or late teenage boys, but there was just a flicker in my spirit whispering to me that Michael was genuine. He didn't judge the way I always high off my ass or slightly buzzed a good chunk of the time just so I could get a good few hours of silence, like the world had temporarily lost its sound and I could appreciate its beauty without all the loudness.
I mean it's not like I was an addict, 'cuz I really can go days without the drugs that I have which aren't even hardcore drugs. The only time I'm really high often is when the mental and emotional suffocation fuses with the days, feeling like they drag on and on. Sometimes I get high, sometimes I sleep it off, sometimes I'll get high then sleep it off. But either way, this is how I cope.
"Did Janet get accepted in a school wit' them low ass SAT scores?" Katherine and I heard Michael's sarcastic voice near as he walked into the kitchen. Once he was present, he acknowledged Katherine first by giving her a gentle kiss on the cheek and they told one another good morning. "Whas' all this?"
"It's fa' us, foo'," Janet stated, trailing behind him. "Since we won't be home this weekend? Duh."
"I ain't stupid nigga," Michael retorted over his shoulder, while he shifted his weight to one leg and he casually rested his left forearm on Katherine's shoulder while she stirred the grits that cooked in the pot on the upper right eye, which was the same color as the pan she was making the omelets. "Thank you, mother." he sweetly smiled while Katherine just hummed an unamused "mhm", from Michael's sardonic thank you.
"If you wanna thank me too I'm, like, standin' right here," I shrugged with feigned attitude as my back leaned on the countertop, making myself known. Shifting his eyes over to me, Michael narrowed them in a dull manner.
"I saw you, gorgeous."
"I bet you did."
"Don't shade a nigga on his birthday na'," Michael acted offended, as he stood straight and approached me. My nose caught the lingering smell of toothpaste in his mouth before he placed his heavy and warm hand on the right side of my waist, my skin being exposed from the sage green, spaghetti strap crop top I wore that was made of satin fabric.
"Today's not ya birthday."
Rollin' his eyes he pecked me on the lips, and I'd stolen another kiss just 'cuz I could. It felt weird kissin' when his mom was standing literally right next to us, but I ain't regret it. Bein' in his presence was like a swarm of butterflies simply minding their business, and makin' physical contact sent those butterflies coursing through every nerve in my body.
"Y'all ugly 'nd I hope y'all find out you related," Janet shadily spat at Michael and I, standing in her place near the countertop across from me like she had been just moments ago. Only this time she was munching on a small pack of mini Oreos which she'd gotten from the pantry, even though it was only eight-thirty in the morning. "Fuckin' hate Black people."
"So I'mma pretend like I ain't see you kiss Ari," Michael said to Janet in reply, as he walked over to the refrigerator and opened it. Peering down into it deciding what to swipe from it, his right arm rested on top of the door as he continued. "Ma', yo daughter gay."
"Ma' already know I like pussy," Janet joked, and just as she did so Katherine's eyes widened while she shot her daughter a warning look.
I wasn't sure if Janet was bein' one hundred percent for real when she said she liked pussy, but I wouldn't put it past her. I kinda feel like she would be the type to hook wit' a girl simply for the sex—and if she gets a girlfriend in the future then kudos to whoever stays wit' her, 'cuz Janet's commitment issues are crazy. Girl or boy.
"Janet Damita Jo Jackson," Katherine assertively acknowledged, "I'm not finna sit in hea' and listen to yo mouth. Eitha' fix it, or get out my kitchen."
I didn't do anything in reaction, but perk my eyebrows and picked up the empty egg cart off of the counter and went to throw it away. Their family is the perfect amount of dysfunctional for me, and I fit right in.
:::
☁️ Michael ☁️
SEPTEMBER 7TH, 2020
1:48 PM
senior year | class of '21
"Michael!" I heard my name bein' called by a feminine voice as I walked down the crowded hallway of students in the school building. The bell had just rang meaning that third block was now over, and I could go home. First semester of senior year, I didn't have a fourth block class meanin' that I got early dismissal. Usually, I went to go get food since I had first lunch a little over two hours prior. Reese and me always went off campus for lunch, jus' 'cuz we swore up and down the school was puttin' fuckin' laxatives in they food.
One bite and you'a be in the bathroom for the next hour fightin' fa' yo damn life.
Loyalty and CJ had second lunch, so we always grabbed some food for them as well just because by the time we'd gotten back to the school, our lunch period would be over. A lot of the students go off campus for lunch, so them lines inside and in the drive-thru be long as hell especially since the restaurants are close by.
I stopped walkin' and stepped to the side as waves of students goin' in the same or opposite direction as me passed by, and I turned around to see Loyalty not too far behind me. Her oversized, vibrant red jacket draped over her upper body while she also had her hood pulled over her head, her hairstyle at the time being waist lengthened faux locs pulled into a side pony that fell over her right shoulder. The black jeans that had a bit of a saggy look to 'em were accompanied by her Air Jordan "Fire Red" 4s, which stayed pretty clean considering how often she wore 'em.
And this is how she always dressed for school, even though it was still pushin' ninety degrees outside. And I'm pretty sure it was still gonna be blasting hot until mid-October.
Global warming is real, and CJ called me a nerd every time I said it.
And she still does. Like is it not true?
Loyalty always carried her black and nearly empty two-pocket Jansport bookbag with the right strap lazily thrown over her shoulder, regardless of how many times I told her it bugged me. 'Cuz why not jus' wear it regular? Then again, Reese did the exact same thing except he wore it over his left shoulder so at that point it's just mental illness.
Loyalty and I didn't talk that much when her and I first met, 'cuz for a long time I was jus' cool wit' Reese and slowly started to blend into the friend group. Beginning of senior year, Loyalty and me wasn't even as close but it was the type of foundation there that you can still interact wit' one another without it bein' all awkward.
"Wassup, Tee?" I dapped her up once she neared me, and the two of us began walkin' further through A-wing so I could get to where I'd parked outside.
"You bout'a leave?" she asked, and I nodded.
"Mhm," I hummed, "Why, you need somethin'?"
"Yes," Loyalty quickly answered, "lemme ride witchu'."
"Uh, no?" I said in reply, and Loyalty kissed her teeth as we walked through the double doors entering the athletic wing of A-wing, and at the end of that hall were two things of glass double doors that were the exit and entrance of the building. A lot of the students we knew parked over here, and sometimes I would even stop and talk for a li' bit depending on my mood. Class of '21 was a fairly large class at our school, and a lot of seniors had early dismissal—either that or some seniors, juniors, sophomores, and freshman would ditch with their friends.
"Michael, please," Loyalty whined, "I really don't wanna go to Mrs. Jaun's class."
Mrs. Jaun was her AP chemistry teacher, and from what Loyalty told me she was strict as hell. Not only that, but the class was just as hard.
"It's only the third week of school 'nd you already done skipped that woman's class twice," I pointed out, "I won't be guilty by association."
"Michael, please."
"Loyalty, no," I mocked her pleading tone, and she dramatically groaned. "You wanna be class of 2022 so bad."
"I'll give you gas money!"
"You ain't even got money, foo'."
"I'll pawn my favorite gold hoops! Michael, please, bro!" Loyalty continued to express, and as we walked past the trainer's room and gym nearing the exits, I huffed before finally givin' in.
"Fine, bruh, damn," I muttered and Loyalty's face immediately lit up as she heavily cheesed with every bone in her body. The warm, late Summer air hit us in the face as the sun beamed down brightly while it sat high in the partly cloudy, baby blue sky.
I held the door open for Loyalty as she followed behind me, and while we proceeded to my car I continued. "What 'bout ya mama and pops, though? Won't the school call her?"
Last time the school contacted Loyalty's mama, it was not a pretty outcome. But that was only because she'd gotten caught—and ended up havin' ISS the next day. More than likely, Loyalty's dad would always get her outta situations when it came to her mom, but her getting caught skipping wasn't somethin' he could defend his child doing, nor encourage. So she just had to take the punishment.
The first time she'd skipped durin' senior year, Alore had gave her a ride home and CJ gossiped to Reese and me how Loyalty and him ended up fuckin'... which I definitely didn't wanna know. They weren't even together fa' real 'cuz Loyalty had commitment issues and Alore was simply just Alore.
It's not that they didn't go together... but, they didn't go together. At least not in my opinion, anyway. Reese used to tease me and say I was just jealous, which may have been partially true, but my opinion would stand regardless. I remember Loyalty's parents talkin' shit about Alore at a family grill once.
They obviously ain't know their daughter was gettin' her back blown out by the nigga, but since he lived in the same area at the time he would always be caught up in some shit—and since he was well known around school and the neighborhood, it just made sense to gossip.
It's jus' one of those community things where everybody know everybody.
"What about it?" Loyalty inquired like she was genuinely confused, as we started to walk across the parking lot to get to my car. "I already tol' my mama I ain't wanna take no fuckin' AP chemistry because I took the damn class virtually over the summer to get ahead. It was a misunderstanding on my schedule and they ended up puttin' me in the class again even though I passed. Ain't that dumb?"
"I thought you talked to yo guidance counselor 'bout changin' it?" I furrowed my brows, pullin' my keys from the right pocket of my black sweatshorts, that were decorated with lime green vines at the hems which I'd customized myself about a month before out of boredom.
"I did, but she wouldn't sign the damn slip 'cuz apparently my grade virtually wasn't 'acceptable'," Loyalty sighed. This is honestly the most I've heard her talk—usually I'd be the one starting conversations and havin' ta' pry at least a sentence out of her, but today somethin' was different—and if there were days like this everyday I wouldn't be mad at it.
"What was yo grade?"
"An eighty," Loyalty gave me a blank look, "A literal, solid eighty."
I furrowed my brows in a what the fuck? manner, and shook my head. "I'd be damned," I let go of a chuckle, "And ya pops?"
"He had to go on some business trip the same week it was due—so he wasn't home to sign it."
"Shoulda' forged it," I joked, and Loyalty blew out a heavy breath while shaking her head.
"Did that once in middle school. Did not end well."
Like I mentioned, we stopped and talked to a couple of people that were in the parking lot about to leave school as well—well, I talked, Loyalty just awkwardly stood beside me all quiet. Like when a parent tells their child they're about to leave, and ends up talkin' for another ten minutes. Her body language indicated that she was patient, but I caught a glimpse of the slightly uncomfortable look in her eyes and decided to conclude my conversation, and Loyalty and me started to make our way to my car.
That's when I knew that maybe Reese was right. When I caught myself noticing the littlest things about her.
After Loyalty begged me to let her ride wit' me after school, we stopped at the store first so I could get gas and then we went to Chick-Fil-A to get some food. She'd asked if we could stop by her house on the way to mine, so she could drop her book bag off. When I first got my car I liked jus' driving around, so it wasn't an issue to me. Now, we were sitting the driveway of my house. My parents were still at work, and Janet was still at school while Marlon was God knows where.
There weren't any plans between Loyalty and I considering that it was only Tuesday, so we had the rest of the day to do pretty much whatever.
"You smoke, don't you?" Loyalty inquired while peerin' over at me, awaiting my answer as I just casually shrugged.
"Sometimes, yeah..." I confirmed, and before I could finish my sentence she was pullin' a small plastic bag from the right pocket of her jacket that contained about a gram of weed. Furrowin' my brows, I gave her a confused look. "You was jus'... carryin' that around?"
"Mhm," she hummed while noddin' her head, as if havin' drugs on you in school is a casual thing that everyone does. "I smoked this mornin', and forgot it was in my pocket—I usually don't have weed on me... in school, at least."
"Okay," I muttered, not really sure where this was goin'. I mean I'd asked a yes or no question, but she didn't seem hesitant or anything. I guess to me it was kinda out of the ordinary. But then again, we were friends. Friends can talk, right? "Who'd you get it from?"
"Alore," she said to me, in a tone that was waiting for some expression of judgment in my face or in what I was gonna say next. At the time, Reese and me were cool wit' Alore, and Loyalty was talkin' to him... everything was good. "I mean, I asked him if he had anymore... since I obviously don't pay for it, he gives me what's left over... is that bad?"
"...Is what bad?" I furrowed my brows in slight confusion and Loyalty just shrugged.
"The fact I don't pay for it," she clarified, "I mean, he's not, like, a drug dealer or anything, but y'know... he takes the opportunity to make a little cash here and there if he can."
"If you ain't in danger or nothin', I don't think it's bad, then," I told her. Slowly nodding, Loyalty casually bit down on her bottom lip.
"Right," she muttered under her breath, briefly breaking eye contact. Bringin' her eyes back to me, she changed the subject. "You got any blanks? I didn't think to bring any."
"I have a bowl," I shrugged, and Loyalty's face lit up like she'd won the pothead lottery.
"Thas' even better!" she exclaimed, her voice at a whisper.
"Don't start scratchin', nie'," I jokingly widened my eyes as if I was concerned, causing Loyalty lightly laugh before I chuckled myself. "I'mma go get it... you comin' inside?"
"Um..." Loyalty glanced out of the window towards my house before shifting her attention back to me and shakin' her head, "Nah. I'm kinda comfortable in here."
" 'Ight," I replied, beginning to get out the car. "Lock the doors 'til I get back."
Eventually when I did come back, I got settled into the car once again and Loyalty had placed a piece of weed into one end of the bowl that filled up its small entirety.
I heard her spark up the black lighter I'd brought out along the with the bowl, the strange thing being that I couldn't see.
Loyalty is a surprisingly unpredictable person, so my curiosity outweighed my concern as she'd folded and tied a black durag over my eyes she'd found in my glove compartment, that was left by Reese the day before. When I asked what the hell was she doin', she made a giggly response.
"I wanna try somethin'," she reasoned as I listened to the lighter flicker, and soon I felt one end of the bowl lingering closely at the entrance of my mouth. "Inhale."
I did so, takin' a good pull from the bowl before Loyalty inched it away from my mouth while I exhaled, speaking afterward. "Whas' the point of this?"
"I'm jus' tryna see how you exhale," she said, "If you can't see me then it eases my nerves a little bit."
"Why yo nerves gotta be eased to see how I exhale?" I asked, slightly turning my head in her direction.
"Inhale," she repeated, disregarding my question and once again feeling the bowl at my lips I breathed in as Loyalty then proceeded, "Hold."
"Keep in mind I gotta drive you home," I spoke, little hints of smoke most likely escapin' my mouth while I did so.
"Shh," Loyalty expressed while I heard brief shifting, and seconds later I felt the presence of her face barely inches away from mine. Bringing her voice down to barely above a whisper, I was more in tune with my senses as my sight wasn't of use in the moment, and I felt my lips tingle as she spoke. "Exhale."
I then breathed out delicately, still feeling Loyalty's lingering lips. It didn't take a genius to know what she was doing, but my main question was why with me? My brief thoughts were interrupted as she used her right hand to slide the durag upward from my eyes, and I narrowed my eyes from the intruding sunlight the day provided.
Without moving from her place, Loyalty blew the smoke she'd inhaled from my mouth back into my face and a smile crept onto my face while I was in a series of brief blinks, the smoke tickling my eyes.
Our eyes met, and Loyalty returned the friendly smile, hers being a little more enticing than mine.
"Ain't this a bit... uh, intimate?" I questioned with perked brows referring to how close she remained, not realizing that my voice was just as low as hers was moments ago. She then hesitated for a second, like she was in a mental state of contemplation before replying.
"You don't like intimacy?" she questioned in a tone that felt rhetorical, and the way we spoke to one another in low whispers made it seem like we were shamelessly spillin' secrets, as though we were two childish middle school friends.
"Did you want me ta' make an exception?" I regifted her alluring demeanor, and the corners of Loyalty's mouth twitched threatening yet another smile.
Our lips still gratified in each other's presence, and I could feel my heart pounding through my chest. Not out of nervousness, but from the rush I'd gotten from simply being around her. I couldn't exactly pinpoint it, but I was attracted to something about her. At the time we were just two friends of a quad, getting closer as time progressed so it was new for both of us.
That and because I was kinda high.
Loyalty shielded my eyes once more but this time with the palm of her right hand, and as partial darkness took over my vision for a second time I felt her lips find themselves fit with mine. At first it seemed like her intention was just a peck but as I began to move mine more passionately, Loyalty's lips began to move in sync with mine.
It lasted for about ten seconds, the quiet sounds of our lips dancing with one another's being the only sound in the car. The air in the car was on, lowly blowing through the vents but heat took over my body the longer our mini make out session continued.
After what felt like time slowly passing by, Loyalty broke the kiss and her touch lingered on my mouth while I was still blinded by the palm of her hand.
"Um..." I muttered before awkwardly clearing my throat, my mind nearly blank. I felt relaxed and at ease. I didn't get high often but when I did, a lot of things always seemed to come to mind. "Loyalty?"
Just call it me voicing "intrusive" thoughts.
"Hm?" she hummed, takin' her hand away from my face a second time and rested her forearm on the middle console. She'd backed away only by a few inches, looking at me with her warm eyes.
"Why Alore?" I vaguely asked out of curiosity, and because the alleged jealousy was scratching at my conscious just waiting to be acknowledged. Now that the high was settled in, my voice was a lot more quieter than it normally was. Loyalty's expression slightly fell, and she blinked twice before briefly breaking eye contact. Part of me had thought I had fucked up by askin', but when she finally gave me an answer after the silence lingered I felt a wave of somewhat relief.
"You want me to be honest?" Loyalty perked her brows at me and I shrugged.
"I'd appreciate it."
" 'Cuz he doesn't need anything from me. I don't feel... put in a position where I'm overwhelmed with caring for someone else when I barely know how to care for myself," she spoke, lookin' me in the eye almost hesitantly. Eye contact has never been her thing, I knew that before she even told me. "It's just kinda like... vibin', y'know?"
Her answer was reasonable, and I didn't know if I wanted to respect it because it was the logical thing to do or let my feelings for her take over.
There was silence was again before she continued, "...and you still talk to Nyla, right?"
"Me and her ain't necessarily on speaking terms right now," I shrugged, dismissive. The on and off thing was getting old, so I cut her off without telling any of my friends. Loyalty then let out a light laugh at my statement, and I furrowed my brows in slight offense. What was funny?
"Why you laughin'?" I curiously asked, and Loyalty just shook her head.
"You're jus' sweet," she answered, breakin' eye contact and inattentively glancing through the front windshield. A few seconds passed, before she returned her eyes back into my direction. She wanted to say somethin', I could tell just from how quickly she went from being explanatory to vague.
But held back right before she added, "I think it's too good to be true."
☁️
after not bein active on this smut infested app for like 2 months, here we are.
i just needed a little break cuz second semester was kickin my ASS but school is over wit now. hopefully i'll be more active this summer.
or not. i got shit to do
either way im finna start pullin some fuck shit in this story
okay that's it
excuse any mistakes 🤷🏾♀️🤔💯