"Here, buddy, let me go see if I can save your clothes. Carla's making you a snack right now," Mariana said as she passed Christopher. She dropped a kiss on top of his head and smoothed his hair down. "You were so brave for me and now you're all fixed!"
He poked at his Power Rangers bandaids and grimaced. Christopher rested his head on his arms with an annoyed huff and Mariana sighed, heading into the kitchen so she could get to the washing machine in the pantry.
"-preciate that, Principal Summers," Eddie said on the phone. "Okay. Thank you."
"So should I expect some kid's head on a spike at tomorrow's drop-off?" Carla asked.
"They sent skateboard kid home early. Principal's gonna meet with the parents in the morning, figure out what the punishment should be," he explained.
"What about the kid who fell off the skateboard?"
"Think I should punish Christopher for getting hurt?"
"No, but I think you should talk to him about how he got hurt."
"I agree," Mariana added as she tossed the bundle of clothes in her hand onto the washing machine before she turned back to face them. "He wants to be just like every other kid, Eddie, but-"
"You want me to tell him he's different?"
"He already knows that," Carla placated. "You need to teach him what it means. That he has limitations."
Eddie stared at the counter for a beat and then shook his head. "I'm not gonna tell my kid that." He left the kitchen, leaving the two women behind to share the same unamused look. Mariana followed her boyfriend out of the kitchen and leaned against the doorframe to watch them.
"Hey buddy, how you feelin'?" Eddie asked.
"Dumb."
"What? What are you talking about?"
"Everybody saw me fall."
"C'mon Chris, I fall all the time. Ask dad, I fell at work yesterday when I tripped on a hose," Mariana reassured him. "People fall. It happens. Nothing to be embarrassed about."
"That boy should have never pressured you into getting on that skateboard," Eddie affirmed.
"It was my idea," Christopher protested.
Eddie glanced up at his girlfriend and Carla who both flashed him an amused look.
"It was your idea to get on the skateboard?"
"It looked fun! It wasn't."
"Chris, why would you do that? You had to know it'd be dangerous."
"You always said I could do anything. You lied."
Mariana could see the hurt in Eddie's eyes at his son's statement. Her eyes flickered over to Carla who gave her a pointed look. Mariana calmly approached the table and crouched down next to Christopher's seat.
"Hey buddy, just because you're missing school doesn't mean you get to miss homework. Why don't you go start on it in your room? Carla will help."
He nodded and slowly pulled himself out of his seat and over to Carla who grabbed his backpack. Once Mariana heard his bedroom door shut, she let out a deep breath and sat down in the chair Christopher previously occupied.
"Eddie, he didn't mean it. He's a kid," she said gently. "I said it to plenty of adults."
"It sounded like he meant it," he bit out acerbically.
"Don't take it personally. He's just...confused and hurt right now." She reached out to put her hand on his and he pulled away, his body coiled tight like a spring. "C'mon, Eddie, don't act like this."
"Like what, Mariana? My kid just called me a liar and you and Carla are basically telling me that I'm a bad father."
"You're blowing this out of proportion. We never said you were a bad parent," she shot back. It was like a shift in her. One second she felt fine and now she was completely on the defense.
"You think I should have told Chris that he's different!" he hissed.
"Because he is different! But so am I. So are you. We all have limitations, Edmundo." She stood up abruptly and started pacing.
"So you agree that I'm a liar." He stood as well, planting his hands on the table as he stared her down.
"Stop putting words in my mouth!" Mariana glanced at the hall and lowered her volume. "I'm saying that you should just explain to him that we all have things we can't do. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less."
"So now you're telling me how to parent Christopher."
"You know what?" Her voice dropped low, a harsh tone coating her words. "Maybe you are a bad parent. You said it yourself, you weren't there for him for years. What's that called again? Oh right, a deadbeat dad."
"I was in Afghanistan trying to help my family!" he shouted.
"No, you were running from your problems."
"Yeah well just remember you're not his real mother so I don't understand why you think you can act like his parent."
Mariana let out an airy laugh of disbelief. She snatched her keys off of the wall mount that hung by the front door and picked up her nurse bag.
"Where are you going?" he asked, his voice cracking at the end of the sentence.
"I'm going to work. Like I was supposed to three hours ago."
"Mariana..."
"Don't. I don't want to even fucking look at you."
She wrenched open the front door and almost slammed it close before she hesitated, remembering all the slammed doors from her own childhood, and softly shut it. The brunette bowed her head and let her shoulders slump before she walked towards her car.
///
"Simmons, can you at least try and shut the fuck up?" Mariana barked as she squeezed down on the bag in her hand. "Can someone work on getting that IV in or do I have to do everything around here?"
"I don't know if you're aware honey, but I'm the doctor here," the resident announced over the car accident victim they were working on.
Everyone paused for a split second to shoot him an incredulous look before continuing their work to stabilize the patient. Mariana continued bagging him as she reached up to clip the IV line and start the drip before turning back to look at the haughty resident in front of her.
"Is the OR ready because vitals look steady and we need to transport him ASAP!" she shouted over the din growing in the room.
"We're good to go. Taking over bagging in three, two, one," Mikayla switched spaces with her and the OR transport team went to work, leaving the ER nurses and physicians behind. Mariana stripped off her bloody gloves and tossed it into the hazmat container before glancing down at her blood soaked scrubs as well. She carefully made her way to the locker room to change into fresh scrubs.
"Hey Ramirez!" the resident called as she walked down the hall. Mariana let out a surprised chuckle and turned around, waiting for him to finish. "No hard feelings, y'know? We all have those days. Just make sure to learn your place."
Mariana snorted and blinked rapidly as if trying to clear the bullshit out of her eyes. She looked over at Leslie who merely busied herself focusing on the chart in her hands. Crystal was giggling into her water bottle, Travis had to leave the nurse desk and enter a room to laugh, and Anna was watching them like a tennis match.
"Learn my place?" Mariana drawled. "And where would that be? Did I miss something?"
"Listen, sweetheart, it's not a big deal."
"Sweetheart? Excuse me? Who the fuck do you think you are? You are irrelevant to me. I don't even know your name. As far as I'm concerned, this is my ER and you are just a guest. My place is in the ER and it has been that way for seven years now. You have been here less than a year so I would really watch that mouth of yours, honey.
Speak to me or one of my nurses like that ever again and I promise you, we will make your life a living hell. You're here for two more years. We can make sure you never come back. Shame considering County Gen is one of the best ER programs in the nation, right? So, sweetheart, speak to me like that ever again...actually, speak to me any time other than when I'm saving a patient's life, and I will ruin you."
She spun sharply on her heel and marched to the changing room, stripping off her top as soon as she entered and throwing it into another hazmat bin. With a string of mumbled curses, she yanked off her pants and pulled out a new set of scrubs from the dispensary. She pulled them on aggressively and fumbled with her badge, eventually giving up and throwing it across the room.
A knock echoed across the door frame and she looked over her shoulder to see an amused Travis standing in the doorway. His eyes flickered down to her poor badge and then to her.
"The three scaredy cats send you in because they're chicken shits?" she grunted.
"Basically," he chuckled. "You were three hours late and you've been snapping at everyone who looks at you wrong. What's up?"
"Eddie and I got into a fight. And not just a little couples spat. Like a 'I said something really hurtful and you responded with something equally hurtful and I'm too proud to admit what I said was really fucking awful' kind of fight." Her shoulders slumped and she sat down on the bench, pressing her palms to her forehead. "I fucked up."
"Every couple fights."
"Not...not like this. I said something just...fuck, I don't even know how to explain it. I felt cornered and defensive so I went for the jugular and it wasn't fair. It wasn't. I keep seeing that look in his eyes. That look of...of pain. Pain I caused."
"And you're beating yourself up about it."
"I walked out. I did the one thing he asked me not to do. I left."
"You're going back, right?"
"Of course," she scoffed.
"Then you apologize. You make amends. You move forward."
"You're saying that because you're my friend. If you knew how badly I hurt him, you would hate me."
"No," Travis sighed as he sat next to her. "I would never hate you. Neither would Eddie. He loves you. I'm saying that as someone who was in an abusive relationship for two years until I was able to get out. He never apologized. Never expressed guilt or remorse. He just kept hurting me. It was always emotional abuse so I didn't have anything to show as proof."
"I'm so sorry that happened to you."
He waved her concern off. "It was a few years ago. Therapy has helped tremendously. Haven't had any more luck in the dating department thanks to a crippling fear of being hurt, but we're working on it. But what I'm trying to say is you hate yourself right now. You're beating yourself up right now. And that's because you care. You know you did the wrong thing. You know you're going to ask for forgiveness. You're still good, Mariana. Eddie understands that."
"You're a really good friend," she said quietly.
"Don't start getting all sappy on me," he warned.
"I'm gonna find you a boyfriend," she vowed. "For your friendship."
"You're the weirdest fucking person alive, Ramirez."
But when she got off work at three in the morning, Mariana couldn't bring herself to drive home. She just couldn't. Eddie needed his sleep. So instead she drove to the one place she knew she could crash without being interrogated.
Buck blearily blinked the sleep out of his eyes, raising an eyebrow at the sight of his pseudo-sister standing on his doorstep. Mariana offered him a sheepish smile.
"Yeah, Eddie texted me. We'll talk in the morning. I'm going to tell him you're here though. Don't want Athena having to track you down because he thinks he lost you."
"You exaggerate too much, Evan."
"You and I both know I'm right."
Mariana laid on the couch, tossing and turning all night, and barely slept. She stared at her phone lockscreen, the photo of her and Eddie and Christopher glaring up at her. With a huff, she tossed her phone across the room and pulled the blanket Buck had given her up to her chin.
"You fucked up, Ramirez," she whispered to the rising dawn. "Now you have to fix this."
A/N: hi sorry i just finished finals today so I haven't had a chance to write until now
yes, more from this episode is coming, I just wanted to make sure I got something out after being MIA for a bit
ps I really love reading your comments and when you talk about points in the story and react to your favorite parts, it honestly makes me smile so much