tears kept falling down felix's cheeks, even though his eyes were bloodshot from all the tears he shed.
all the memories of his past kept coming back to him as he was stuck outside the roof of the apartment complex he was living at with his mom.
the tears kept coming, never stopping.
he had never wanted anything more than to end his life.
nothing was going right for him. every day was like a memory of never ending trauma.
the trauma tainted him, it buries within his mind, his skin, and his heart.
there was nonstop bullying, the words people called him echoed in his head every time he would even begin to think about it.
ugly.
disgusting.
stupid.
loser.
low life.
sad excuse for a person.
nobody wanted to be friends with him, nobody wanted him. nobody cared about him.
why do I deserve to live in a world where nobody cares?
why should I let other people suffer from my existence?
it was more than the bullies. his family didn't love him either.
all his life, his dad abuses him.
the words he called him hurt worse because he was his own son, no father should ever tell their child the words he called felix.
disgrace.
ugly.
rotten.
the worst child ever.
felix clenches his fists as those memories come back to him as well.
he didn't have any siblings to rely on for anything either, but if he had any they would probably treat him the same way as everyone else does.
his mom wasn't as bad, but she slaps him from time to time.
felix has cuts on his arms and bruises from where his dad hit him.
his dad disappeared one day, he never knew why though. it didn't matter to him anymore.
he didn't bother to wipe his tears because they would just keep falling down his face.
he was standing at the edge of the roof, and he looks down at the far drop.
he takes a deep breath as he lets himself fall off the roof.
...
felix's eyes opened slowly, he was in an unfamiliar place.
"you're awake!" he heard the voice of his mom speaking, he turns his head to see her sitting next to him.
and, she slaps him.
"you think it was funny scaring me like that!?" she speaks again, while felix just stays silent.
"don't you dare do something like that again!" she keeps speaking, while felix still stays silent.
"talk to me!"
felix didn't want to talk to her, or anyone really.
"I know things haven't been easy for you... but that doesn't mean you should kill yourself, there are people who love you. I do... don't leave me. your father might not have cared about you but I do" felix looks down and sighs at his mother's words.
"then.... can I start over?" he looks at her.
"what do you mean?"
"transfer me to another school. I can't keep going there" she nods.
"sure honey"
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