Admission
"I'm not the doctor you once thought I was. It's time we both accepted that."
________________________
A few days later...Ines and Zaid were dismissing the interns after rounds when...
"Hunter, Greene, Varma, Olsen and Trinh. Hang back. We need to talk." Zaid called out to them.
Blue shared a nervous look with her roommates. Aurora met her eyes for a moment before leaving with the rest of the interns. "What's wrong?" Blue spoke up first when the roommates were left alone with the two senior residents. "Chief Emery wants to question you individually about what happened to Mrs. Martinez." Ines answered, looking a little uneasy herself.
"Why? We weren't even on Mrs. Martinez's case!" Landry defended. 'I know...and I've told her how much I trust and respect each one of you." Ines replied. "But until this is settled, each of you will be partnering up with another intern for your caseload." Zaid added. "You're giving us babysitters?" Jackie sneered. "It's...just a precaution. This will blow over soon." Ines said with a sad frown, seemingly unhappy with the whole situation as well. With that, the residents left them in silence.
"They know, don't they?" Sienna finally said wearily. "Of course they know! You didn't really think you will get a away with this did you?" Landry snarled. "They don't know Jack. That's why they are sweating us. If they knew, we'd already be out on our ass." Jackie said. "But who could have know what our plan was?" Elijah asked. "Aurora. You saw her face when Zaid told us to stay back." Jackie said in anger. "What are we gonna do?" Sienna asked with trepidation.
Sighing deeply, Blue said, "You have to let me take the fall for this." "Like hell! You did the right thing!" Elijah spoke up. "Not as far as the hospital is concerned. I knew this was a risk. I have to accept the consequences." Blue replied. "Screw the hospital then. You saw Mrs. Martinez's face on the steps of that church. Being there meant everything to her, and it was all thanks to you. All these doctors are so worried about protecting their careers that they'd never stick out their necks for anybody." Jackie said. "Like Jackie said, they don't know anything yet. Don't give yourself up." Sienna agreed.
"What do you think I should do, Landry? You're the one who advised against this from the very beginning." Blue asked. "I...think it is too late now to take back everything that we did. So I don't see why you should say anything. What happens now...it's out of our hands." Landry answered.
Paging Dr. Greene to Dr. Emery's office. Paging Dr. Greene...
The PA System ranged.
"Welp, it's showtime." Elijah said. Blue gave his shoulders an encouraging squeeze as he made his way. The roommates split up to tend to their patients as Blue looked down at her charts and making her way to her patient's room.
Passing by the new wing, Blue spotten Ethan pacing about in the half-built hallway.
"Naveen...You and I have trusted each other to do the...No that's not right..." Ethan muttered to himself. "Dr. Ramsey?" Blue called out to him, his visible distress now projecting onto Blue's already terrible mood. Ethan looked at her, his stubble rough, and his usually well-styled chocolate locks were troubled.
"I have to tell Naveen that he has a month to live. The moment he knows, he'll leave the hospital. He didn't want me to treat him in the first place. He joked that if he couldn't solve it, no one else could. I thought I could save him on my own...but maybe he was right." Ethan explained, the blue of his eyes dulling every second he spoke.
"Do you want to let him leave?" Blue asked. "God, no. I want to call in every doctor I know to help. Someone somewhere on this planet has to know how to fix this. But he'd hate me forever if I made his last few weeks being poked and prodded in a cold hospital room." Ethan replied, finally letting himself meet her gaze, his aquamarines searching her emeralds for answers.
"I think Naveen should enjoy the time he has left." Blue answered after a brief moment of thought. "Even if that means giving up on him?" "If that's what he wants...then yes. We have to respect that. Wouldn't you want your doctor to listen to you?" she reasoned with him. Ethan took a deep breath before nodding, "You're right. I have to do what is best for him."
"Are you ready to tell him?" Blue asked him. "As ready as I can be." He took a step towards the direction of Naveen's room, but stopped abruptedly. He hesitantly turned back to her and spoke in a low, almost embarrassed tone, "Would you mind...coming with me? I know it's alot to ask but... Naveen loves you as his own daughter. And...and I don't want to do this on my own." Ethan's eyes pleaded with her, and Blue had no will in her body to say 'no' to him.
She follwed him to Naveen's room as Ethan stopped right in front of his room, staring at his door motionless...Blue slipped her hand into Ethan's feeling the gravity of the pain he was going through of the possibility of losing his friend, mentor, family from that mere physical connection between them. Etha gripped her hand hard, almost like he was using her to hold himself up, letting her absorb at least some of the pain pulsing through his being.
Sighing, Blue spoke to him, "I wish I could say something to make you feel less worse" She gently rubbed his hand with her thumb and Ethan turned to her, smiling sadly. "You're here. That makes it as easy as it is going to get." he said. With one last squeeze of her hand, Ethan let go of it and walked into Naveen's room.
"Ah, my favourite and...only companions! What can I provide today? More blood? Or perhaps it's urine today?" Naveen said in between coughs. "Naveen." Ethan addressed somberly, and with that, Naveen's smile faded at Ethan's expression. He turned to look over at Blue and said, "Ah...he can't stop this, can he?"
"You're new treatment didn't hold. You're organs are failing." Blue said, holding in ber breath. "I tried everything, Naveen." Ethan said. "I know you did, Ethan. Marvelous, isn't it? After all this time, life still had a mystery that the two of us couldn't solve." Naveen spoke. "Well then, how long do I have?" he asked in between coughs again.
"A month. At best." Ethan said quickly, unable to keep his composure for the whole durstion of the conversation. Naveen processed all the information spewed onto him in silence. Even his coughs subsided for that moment. Then he got out of bed and pulled a pair of slacks over his hospital gown. He reached for his vest, but Ethan took it first, clutching it tight.
"Please...stay here. Let the other doctors examine you. Maybe they'll see something I missed--" "You never miss anything, Ethan." Naveen interupted the Blue-eyed doctor. "Don't you get it? If you leave--" "If I leave, I'll have a beautiful home by the river that I've never spent more than five hours at a time in. Now I finally get a whole month to spend there. If I die in the middle of a good book, or fishing, or painting. I'll consider it an excellent way to go..." Naveen responded, the firmness in hus voice evident despite his careful smile.
Naveen held out his hand to take his vest and gulping wearily, Ethan let him take the it. Naveen buttoned up his shirt and buckled his belt, then smiled at Blue, his eyes twinlling with life, despite the dying condition of the rest of his body.
"It has been an honour to see you work, Dr. Blue Hunter. Seeing you grow up to be such a brilliant doctor even, making a name for yourself despite having to live up to the pressures of coming from your family is remarkable. You have a very promising career ahead of you. I hope you continue to remember this old man, and help me convey my apologies to your parentd for leaving without saying goodbye. I really don't want them to see me in this state." Naveen told her.
"Naveen...I will never forget you, ever. And thank you for helping Ethan to become the doctor he is today. Without him, I wouldn't be where I am today." Blue said glancing wuickly at Ethan who was staring right back at her. "So, what you're saying is...I'm your grand-mentor." Naveen replied with a cheeky smile, making Blue laugh through her tears.
"I guess you are." she replied. "Good deeds can bear unexpected and wonderful fruits, Blue. I'm glad you're one of mine." Naveen said to her, giving her a strong, fatherly hug.
After which the trio walked down atrium with Blue walking behind Ethan and Naveen, allowing them space to talk to themselves, though they don't speak. Doctors and nurses greeted Naveen as he passed, delighted to see him again. "Ah, yes, just a visit. A trip down memory lane." told them as they asked the purposed of his visit.
Outside, they came to a halt. Ethan cleared his throat, struggling. He offered Naveen a handshame awkwardly, only to have it knocked aside by Naveen who pulled him into a tight hug. Ethan exhaled and clapped his hands around Naveen's back.
"Take care, Ethan. Live well." he said. "I will." Ethan responded breaking their hug to hastily wipe a lone tear that managed to escape his eyes. Naveen turned to look at Blue with a friendly wink as he said, "Keep an eye on him for me, Blue." "I will." she reassured him.
Ethan and Blue watched as Naveen catched a city bus at the curb and disappeared from sight.
"Did I do the right thing, Blue?" Ethan asked her. "You did what you had to. For your friend." Blue replied honestly. Ethan looked down at her, his gaze intense and vulnerable. The same intensity he harboured the first time they kissed in Miami, and the one time they shared their pain through their kiss at the Opera.
And Blue had only one thing in mind.
She wrapped her arms around Ethan's neck, pressing her lips to his, in a soft, sweet kiss. Ethan leaned into her, letting her support some of his weight, as he helf her tight around the waist.
Neither of then could care that they were kissing right at the entrance of Edenbrook as Blue tasted the salt of fresh tears as Ethan kissed her back just as passionately. Both of them unaware of whose tears those were, but once again they could care less. Ethan let his gentle kisses trailed from Blue's lips, down to the curve of her neck, as he lingered there, burying his face in her shoulder.
"I'm so sorry, Ethan." Blue breathed out. He cleared his throat for the upteenth time that day as he pulled away from her before regaining his composure. "Thank you for helping me to do this." he told her. "No thanks necessary. I care a lot about both of you." she replied. Ethan let a small adoring smile peek through his troubled features.
"So what now? Do we just go back to our patients like nothing happened?" Blue asked. Ethan let his hand carrass the her cheek gently before dropping it. "No, we don't." he said softly.
The both of them walked back into the hospital side by side. Harper approached them, raising an eyebrow at the sight of them together, but she decided not to comment on it.
"Ethan! Someone just told me they saw Naveen outside. Is he coming back to work?" she asked.
"No, he's gone...and so am I. I'm done." Ethan said.
"What?!" Blue watched in horror as he took
off his I.D. badge and handed it to Harper. "What? You're quitting?" Blue asked him, tears threatening to fill her eyes again. She could barely able to see Naveen walk away, but Ethan's departure would shatter her completely.
Harper stared down at his badge in stunned silence as Ethan walked past her. Blue raced ahead, trying to block his exit. "Wait! You can't just leave!" Blue said desperately, the tears escaping out of her eyes. "Let me through." Ethan said bluntly, unable to look her in the eyes.
"But people need you... I need you." She said pleadingly as she grabbed his hand. Ethan shook his head, his eyes rimmed with red, his own tears now on the verge of spilling. "I'm not the doctor you once thought I was. It's time we both accepted that." he looked up to meet his gaze that held everything he actually wanted to say to her.
His gaze held, anger on himself, sadness off Naveen's departure and little time live, his intense love for Blue and the guilt of leaving Edenbrook.
With that, Ethan pulled free off Blue and walked through the main entrance. The automatic door slid closed behind him, and just like that...he was gone.
Ethan Ramsey was gone.
》》》
After a whole day of being "babysat" by Aurora, Blue reached home...
As she entered the living room she saw her friends sprawled out either on the couch or on the floor.
"Oh man, that was the most acting I've done since senior play." Sienna said. "So Harper Emery questioned you herself? Was it terrifying?" Blue asked sitting down next to Jackie. "Kind of...But it was also kind of...fun?" Sienna said laughing a little, as she narrated what happened.
~
"People tell me you are close with Blue Hunter." Harper said. "We're both dolphins, not sharks, so we got along right away." Sienna replied chirpily. "You're both...what?" Harper muttered in confusion.
"Neither of us are interested in screwing over other interns to get ahead. Blue is a very moral person." Sienna explained. "And how do those morals apply to Dr. Hunter's patients?" Harper asked. "She definitely would'nt screw a patient either." Sienna replied, smirking a little when she realised the alternate, sexual implication of her statement.
~
"Are any of you in trouble?" Blue asked after the laughters regarding Sienna's interrogation subsided. "Not yet. She had nothing to pin on us, anyway." Jackie replied, taking her turn to share what happened.
~
"What is your relationship with Dr. Hunter?" Harper asked. "We share a bathroom and an internet plan." Jackie answered nonchalently. "You're not friends?" Harper asked with a little surprise.
"Dr. Emery, I applied here to learn to be the best doctor, not to compete for Edenbrook's Friendship Awards." Jackie said.
~
"What about you Elijah? Did you do okay?" Jackie asked Elijah.
"I hope so..." he said trailing off to his side of the story.
~
"You came to me claiming that Dr. Mirani needed immediate help with a VIP patient. But when we got there, there was no Dr. Mirani and there was no problem. Why did Blue Hunter ask you to get me away from Declan Nash?" Harper asked.
"Blue? She had nothing to do with it, I got the idea to rescue you from him on my own!" Elijah exclaimed. "Rescue me?" Harper muttered bewildered. "Dude seemed like a creep. Thought you could have used the break." Elijah said smugly.
~
"You guys are crazy." Blue laughed breathily. "I prefer the term 'resourceful'" Jackie laughed as well.
"Wellz whatever you are...Thank you for having my back." Blue smiled gratefully at her friends.
"We're just lucky that all of us did not get suspended." Landry mumbled. "So...are we gonna talk about the other thing that happened today?" Elijah asked.
"You mean Ramsey quitting?" Jackie inquired. "What made him quit out of nowhere? Just like Banerji did?" Landry thoigh out aloud. "Come on, Blue. You've got to know something." Elijah insisted.
"Well..." Blue started. "Wait a second, Banerji was Patient X...wasn't he" Elijah answered his own question. "...Yeah, he was." Blue confirmed.
"You knew the whole time and you didn't tell us?" Landry asked in disbelief. "I wanted to, but Dr. Ramsey swore me to secrecy. It felt like too big a promise to break." Blue explained.
"I get it. It wasn't your secret to tell." Sienna said in understanding. "Oh come on, I think if the last few days have proven anything, it's that your friends can keep secrets too." Jackie said smiling, Blue smiled back at him completely missing the lack of a smile on one of her friend's face.
"Damn, you had a hell of a day, Blue. How are you holding up?" Elijah asked with concern.
"I'm okay. I will be okay." Blue reassured him.
》》》
Back at Edenbrook, the next evening...
"Hunter. We've got more results in for Tommy Liu." Aurora said to Blue, as she handed her the printout.
Blue read through the results and sighed. "Negative again? He hasn't ingested anything, touched anything, contracted a parasite, nothing?" she said, exasperated. She looked back up to Aurora and asked, "What do you think is wrong?"
"You're asking me?" Aurora asked in shock. "Well...you're supposed to babysit me right?" Blue replied. "I'm trying alright? I...thought it was a parasite. But I was just as wrong as you. I guess neither of us deserved to be number one--"
Paging Dr. Trinh back to Dr. Emery's Office.
Aurora was cut off by the P.A. system.
Blue and her fell silent, sizing each other up. Finally, Aurora snatched the printout back from Blue and marched off.
Blue sighed in almost defeat as she looked through the window at Tommy. Her other problems aside, she desperately wished to see Ethan. At least his presence would pressure and inspire her to come up with an accurate diagnosis.
At the back of her head, Blue found herself wanting to follow Ethan out of Edenbrook and never come back. However, she shook the thought from her head and forced herself to keep moving.
Overwhelmed momentarily, Blue ran into an on-call room
She sat on the lower bunk, silently sobbing all her frustrations out. "Blue?" she heard a voice from the top bunk and she heard the person come down to sit next to her.
It was Danny.
Without another word, he put an arm around her shoulder, urging her to let out all of what she was bottling up inside herself.
"I can't stop think about...about everything. Poor Mrs. Martinez and the investigation into her death...Wondering if I'll still have a career at the end of the week...wondering if I even deserve one. Dr. Banerji's diagnosis, Dr. Ramsey quitting the hospital. Aurora sabotaging me at every turn...and now this sweet little kid I can't diagnose. I feel like everything is crashing down around me." Blue sobbed.
"You know I am just as much friend to you as Sienna right? I know you may want to be strong for your roommates, but bottling up inside will only make you weaker. You can tell me anything that is bothering you at anytime." Danny said gently. "Good doctors can handle anything that is thrown at them. And I really want to be a good doctor." Blue said.
"Well, from what I've seen, you already are." Danny said. "I'm not. I don't know if I can keep doing this. It's all too much. If Ethan Ramsey quit, what chances do I have?" Blue asked feeling angry with herself as well as with the whole situation.
"It will be hard, you never thought it wouldn't be. But you do have a chance. And that's why you're here. The chance to make a difference." Danny replied, gently squeezing Blue's arm, urging her to look at him.
"I believe in you, Blue." Danny said resolutely. Feeling touched and comforted, Blue wrapped her arms around Danny, hugging him tightly. "You're an amazing friend Danny, thank you so much for all of this really. You were the only one who stood by me among the nurses when someone spread a false rumour about me and now this. You're a great guy and I'm so glad Sienna has you as well." Blue said.
"I...well, Sienna is pretty amazing too." Danny stuttered a little, making Blue laugh a little. That man defintely had a crush on Sienna. "For what it's worth, I don't think it's the pressure that's weighing on you. I've seen you in action...I know you can handle a tough situation. " Danny said.
"Then what is it?" Blue asked. "Your doubts. The thing you have held inside you all this time. I know what it is like to be unsure whether you belong somewhere. And despite all your success, it seems to me that you've never been sure of your place here. But you should be." Danny answered. "Thanks, Danny." Blue smiled geniunely for the first time that day.
》》》
A little later, Blue was deep in thought as she read over Tommy's test results again.
She thought through diagnosis after diagnosis...but over it all, Danny's words echoed in her head.
"The thing you have held inside you all this time."
And that is when realization hit her.
》》》
Soon, Blue was with Aurora in Tommy's room,explianing her findings.
"Tommy isn't sick because of an external cause, like something he ate, or touched..." Aurora started. "It's an internal one." Blue finished.
"What do you mean? Something he already had inside him? Like a genetic thing?" Tommy's mother, Sharon, asked. "Nothing like that." Blue replied, as she sat on Tommy's bedside.
"See, Tommy, we all have several different kinds of bacteria in our digestive systems." Blue explained. "In my tummy? Isn't bacteria bad?" Tommy asked. "Some bacteria are your friends. They live with you in harmony. You need a lot of them to digest your food and get big amd strong. And when you started taking antibiotics a few weeks ago, the azidthromycin did its job too well and attacked the bad bacteria as well as the good ones." Blue further ealaborated.
"Oh no!" Tommy exclaimed. "And that's why he's so sick? Because of...good bacteria?" Sharon asked. "Exactly. The good bacteria started producing toxins as a defense mechanism. That'd what poisoning Tommy." Blue replied.
"I'm sorry, bacteria. I didn't mean to attack you." Tommy said, making Blue smile at his cuteness. "How do we make it stop?" Sharon asked. "Unfortunately, there is no way to re-adjust the bacteria. It was just one strain that started attacking you, one out of many. So his digestion will be fine once we kill it." Aurora replied.
"Kill it? My bacteria friends? But...it's not their fault." Tommy said. "You still have other bacteria friends. You know, some estimated say there are a thousand species of bacteria in the human gut." Blue told him. "That's a thousand friends. Pretty cool, huh?" Aurora said smiling at the boy.
The two doctors left the room after tell the good news to Tommy and Sharon.
Once they were alone, Aurora turned to Blue.
"I don't get it. Why did you bring me along for that?" she asked her. "You're my partner on this case." Blue replied. "You could have taken credit by yourself. Gotten back in the residents' good graces. What's with the olive branch?" Aurora asked.
"I know you didn't rat me out to your aunt." Blue answered.
Aurora shifted and folder her arms, trying not to let her face betray her feelings. "How?" Aurora asked.
"Because I realized who did. Turns out we all carry our worst enemies with us." Blue said, walking away, moving briskly towards the locker room.
With each step, she felt a twisted combination of anger and peace...peace of finally seeing the truth.
Blue walked into the locker room, her blood running cold as she saw the person hunched on the bench tying his shoes, his back to her.
"It was you. You told Mrs. Martinez's family." Blue said.
Landry paused, his shoe still untied. He stood up and turned to face Blue.
"...Of course I did."
...