Mental

True Story #26

She was a very kind sweet old lady. She thought of herself as a young mother, so she carried a doll with her, wrapped in a blanket. She was even allowed a baby bed and every night she would tuck her baby in beside her bed. Then she would talk about the baby growing inside her belly. She would go on very coherently about her pregnancy and her child. She had me believing she lived in this sweet fantasy land that was set on repeat. But it would all abruptly end and start over once her baby was due and there was no new baby. She would mope for about a month, super depressed, not eating, nonstop crying she could not be consoled, she'd get fairly violent...then it would start over, she'd just wake up one morning and as happy as could be, 'Did you hear the great news!? I'm going to have another baby!' One night she got all tucked in and forgot to tuck her baby in. I noticed and said, 'I can tuck Susan in for the night' and reached in to get her baby. The woman throat punched me hard. I dropped the baby doll when I fell over gasping for air. She then started to lose it as she was trying to further assault me, yelling at me about driving too fast and destroying everything she loved. Once the dust settled it was shared with me that she was pregnant once upon a time, and she already had a 1 year old. The husband and the 1 year old got in an accident on the way to the hospital, they both died. She was so distraught over it she gave the newborn up for adoption. That's why her delusions start over after the due date and she is so mad in between. I imagine some residual guilt/anger for her loss is what caused her to throat punch me for taking her doll. When I first started working there I just thought she was some fun old delusional lady. I never expected the delusions to have back stories. It's heartbreaking...Dementia seems horrifying enough when it's described as 'being confused, or losing your mind,' but it seems so much worse when it's, 'repeat your worst life experience over and over until you die.'...To constantly be stuck in the time leading up to your most traumatic experience and relieving it over and over...the very definition of hell.