"You know, you're really not a bad person!" I yelled out from his bedroom. I closed the door and changed into the clothes I came in with to help Dylan out.
"Hm? What makes you think that?" His voice went from faint to loud. He probably was walking towards his bedroom to hear me better.
"I honestly thought you would be some asshole of a fuck-boy who just loves fucking any girl he sees. You got the looks, I'll give you that. Many people have one or the other. Either they got the looks and no brain or common sense or it's the other way around. Seems like you have both!" I let out a laugh as I put on my top.
I heard a click and that made my body jump. I quickly pulled down my top and faced the door. Dylan was standing at the entrance, leaning against the frame with his arm crossed against his chest. He had the 'oh-really?' face with his lips pulled to one side and an eyebrow up.
"Sorry, I went too far didn't I?" I whispered. I think I'm starting to get WAY too comfortable with Dylan. I really should stop myself. He used to be my boss and now he is just some man I'm with when I'm currently married. Correction, not some man, a man who has interest in me and making me very confused.
"We really gotta do something about your apologies!" He chuckled. He stood up properly, walked up to me, and placed his hands on my shoulders. "It's like they are free estate. Stop doing that. You didn't do anything wrong, you were just telling me your first impressions. I'm not your boss anymore."
"I know, but I don't want you to think I'm just saying whatever I want. I don't want to make enemies with my words at the very least". I fixed and adjust my top and my hair. We both exited his bedroom and I made my way to the door. "Thank you for hearing me out. I actually felt a lot better by telling someone how I've felt. I don't really have any friends here so having an ear leant to me felt very nice". I have Dylan a genuine smile to let him know I'm okay.
"My pleasure!" He smiled back.
"I figured I may not be needed anymore because your hand seems to be doing just fine after all the events that has happened today." I crossed my arms.
Dylan's face went from happy to utter defeat. He furrowed his eyebrows and closed his eyes. I felt a small burst of victory in catching him in his act and wanted to jump up in joy.
"I didn't want to play you, I was actually hurt." He started. "But I wanted your company." He sighed out in defeat. His eyes opened and it oozed puppy eyes vibes. I guess it's his way of telling me that he doesn't want me to go.
"Well..." I huffed as I crossed my arms against my chest and looked away. "It worked". Dylan flashed a coy smile. "But I have to get back. I think I've spent my time here long enough. I have a husband to attend..." my voice got quieter towards the end. It's kind of disappointing that Ethan is my husband. Honestly, I wish he was just a man I decided to cohabitate with.
Dylan reached out and pat my head. He did it a couple of times, then slid his hand down to my cheeks. "It will be all right. You've done well so far. I've opened the door to your curiosity, just a small push. Now you can take it from here." He sighed. Dylan dropped his hand, leaving the warmth and allowing a small cold breeze flash by my cheek. Chills entered my face and left with goosebumps. I really did not like that feeling. My eyes trailed Dylan who was feeling dejected and plopped himself on the sofa.
"Wait...that's it?" I was in the state of absolute confusion. "You're going to end it like that?" I could not believe what's going on. He's just going to play with me and leave it at that?
"If none of us makes the effort to stop, then who will?" He sighed once again. "Might as well take the initiative." Dylan turned his face away from me. Usually when someone looks away, they don't mean it. I knew deep, deep down inside, this was a dangerous fort to step into. Dylan is single and ready to mingle. Me, however, is currently married. Not happily, but married. Dylan was the one who made the first move. He was the one who wanted to chase after me. But now he dares to back away? What kind of fucking logic is this?
I ran over and grabbed Dylan by the collar. That made him suddenly stand up in shock. "Who's fucking idea was it to get into this? You! How do you even bother to start something and now decide to back out? And I a fucking toy to you!? You can just play with me and call it a fucking day?! YOU were the one who decided to make the first move and practically begged to win me. Now what? You're just going to back out like that? Why did you even fucking start!?" My voice grew louder and louder for every question I threw at him. I hung my head low and swung punches at his chest. I felt my lips quiver And my vision slowly became blurry again. I can't believe I got played. Right when I thought, just maybe, there was something between us.
Dylan allowed a few punches to be thrown at him but at one point he managed to grab my wrists to stop me from punching his chest. "Any longer darling and you might break my ribs and puncture my heart". He let out a chuckle but his tone had a hint of sadness.
I shot him a glare. "Do you think it's the right fucking time to throw in a joke with a "darling""? I mocked him with the word darling but I was really pissed off.
"Sorry". He shut up right away. "Look, I really do genuinely want you. I really do. I just can't stop myself from thinking about the things I want to do with you. But I don't want to be a home wrecker. You're married. I acknowledge that. I opened some doors for you, you should take it from there. I don't want to be the reason for shining anything in your life nor do I want to be the primary reason for any regrets you may have". He whispered. His hands remain clutched onto my wrists but his grip loosened.
"Why haven't you thought of this before..." I whispered back.
"What did you say? Sorry I couldn't hear you." Dylan replied in a normal tone of voice.
"Why couldn't you think of that before!?" I shot my head up and looked at him directly in his eyes. My teary eyes pierced through his. His eyes widened at first in shock due to my sudden action, but then his expression softened.
"Look, it would be best to keep our distance for now. You saw what happened earlier. Round one was about showing you how to do yourself. Round two was never supposed to happen but I got carried away. Imagine what round three would be like. I don't think you're ready for that at all. This is what I mean by saying I don't want you to regret and I don't want to be the reason for that regret". He let go of my wrist and also hung his head low in defeat.
We both are in a limbo, a huge mess. Dylan wants me but can't go all the way. I'm conflicted by my dead marriage and a dangerous affair. At times like these, how are we supposed to even sort our feelings out. The law dictates how we should be and in this situation, it's stronger than ever.
I took a couple of steps away from Dylan. "Yeah, I think you're right...". I scanned the room to see if I'm missing anything from my purse. I haven't taken out anything from my purse, so it's all clear. I mentally noted that my phone was in my pocket. I grabbed my purse from the table and ran for it. I went to the general area to slip on my shoes.
"Jasmine?" Dylan sounded very confused due to my sudden action of running away. I slipped into my shoes without even bothering on buckling them or fixing the bent part of my heels. I grabbed the doorknob and aggressively pushed the door open.
"Jasmine!" This time Dylan shouted. I heard Dylan step forward but by that time, I already ran out the door. I couldn't see what Dylan's face looked like nor what state he was in. He probably went from confused to desperate. He probably thinks I will blame him for everything and will be in a state of darkness. Well you're the one who said it's best for us, you made the call. I just acted upon what you decided for us. I guess it's clear. Dylan is an asshole I should plainly forget. Thank you for the small excitement you had given me, but that is all I can do. You wanted to stop what we had, if we even had anything, you got it. I'm walking away and going back to the bland marriage I'll be stuck in for the rest of my life since I'm a filial wife. The excitement was probably worth while it lasted. God knows when will be the next time I'll have that sort of excitement.
I ran to the end of the block, opposite from my house. The cold tears ran down my face, making my face even colder due to the wind blowing towards my direction. I pulled up my phone and put the camera on selfie mode to check myself out. The tears did not make a mess on my face but my eyes became slightly red and puffy. I grabbed a tissue from my bad and realized I had something big in there as well. I don't recall carrying anything boxy, but then I realized it's the gift Dylan gave me. I'm so stupid. How did I run away without giving this back to him? I looked into my purse and verified it's the big, black box that Dylan gave me. Ugh, I can't do anything about it now. If I go back, it's going to make me look like a loser. If I throw it out here, people may see me and think I'm weird. Oh my god, what if one of my neighbors see it? I hastily closed my purse and wiped my tears with the tissue. I double checked on the selfie camera to make sure I didn't look like I was sobbing my way home.
Alright Jasmine. Let's forget anything has every happened with Dylan and pretend he never existed. Your only other half is Ethan and he is your partner in life. Let's go back to what you're familiar with whether you like it or not. Rather stay on the safe side.
My little prep talk managed to motivate me a tiny bit as I walked towards my house.
Once it opened the front door and took off my shoes, I entered the living room to the sight of Ethan laughing along with another woman. That woman had blonde hair up to her shoulders, face kind of wrinkly but still looked somewhat young, had a slim body, and a great smile. That smile radiates warmth and can make anyone else smile. Her blue eyes were suddenly on me and her smile became wider.
"Hey Honey! Guess who made it over! Meet my mother!" Ethan exclaimed with great pleasure. This was the most excited Ethan I've ever seen since our dating phase.