After the game, Abby invited every one of us to her home. Her parents are out of town on a business meeting, which made me feel a little sad for Abby that they couldn't see her play today. Then again, I wish nobody was at the game today.
The party started real quiet; only whispers were heard here and there from my teammates. I had found myself a spot on the couch, drowning my sorrows in a cup with something that tastes pretty bad, but I don't care.
The more the girls drank, the louder they became. Now music is playing in the background as a few of them are playing beer pong or in deep conversation about where they are going to college next year. I wish things didn't have to move forward sometimes. That time could stand still for only a moment, so I could be able to catch my breath or let my mind wander a little bit.
But time has to move on, unfortunately, and Nico is leaving in a couple of weeks. As much as I don't like it, I'm happy for her. She was wonderful today, and it was kind of her to come and comfort me.
Yet after she left, my teammates asked why she was there with me. I told them she only wanted to talk. I didn't go into details, but they didn't ask either. I think they understood that I needed to be alone. Like I am right now, sometimes I need to be left with my thoughts. It might not be the best place to be right now, but I don't feel like interacting with others.
But as time flew by, more people started to join our gathering. At first, the girls' friends outside of the team joined, and eventually, a few boyfriends here and there. It feels slightly crowded in here now, yet there aren't that many people. I think I'm thinking too much to the point it's becoming too hard to breathe.
"Wilder," A hand on my shoulder made me jump in my seat.
"Are you okay?" Lynda asked when I looked at her; the concern was written all over her face. I opened my mouth, but speechless I was as the entire game came back to view.
"Wilder, you need to slow down your breathing," She said calmly with her hand on my back. I took a deep breath, but it did nothing to remove the guilt that has created a lump in my chest.
We both turned to face the kitchen as people were shouting in anger. Lynda looked at me strangely as we both don't understand what is going on. But right now, I don't care because I can't seem to calm myself down. I'm not sure what I'm feeling; it's a mix of everything.
Automatically I got up on my feet along with Lynda as we both saw Aubrey and a few others from the other team come into the living room. Grinning my way, she steps over to me, which made Lynda stand in front of me. For some odd reason, I tried to look behind them to see Nico, but I can't.
"I told you I would get back at you," Aubrey said and clenched my jaw but took a step back. I'm already drowning in misery, and there is nothing worse when someone is adding wood to the fire.
"Not just that, you lost, gave away the whole game in our favor," She told me, and I looked down at the floor, my hands turned into fists.
"Shut up and leave," Lynda warned her as she crossed her arms over her chest.
"I'm not talking to you," Aubrey said rudely. I don't understand why she started this battle in the first place.
"I don't want to argue," I told and looked at the other girls who are standing beside her, but Aubrey only laughed, which pulled on all of my plugs, moved in front of Lynda, and pushed Aubrey back into her friends. I'm not great with words, and if I can't find the right thing to say, I get angry, which leaves me doing the wrong thing.
Her whole face turned red, and she lept towards me, which made me turn to the side. Yet she grabbed me by the hoodie, and we both fell onto the floor.
"Wilder!" I heard Lynda shout through the fight that we broke into. A few kicks and pushes were giving as I tried to get away from her. Yet she kept pulling me back by the hoodie or my arm. Finally, we turned completely around, and I ended above her. I realized now that people around us were cheering for us to fight. Again, I tried to get away as I stood up but got kicked at the back of my knee and fell back down above her.
"Wilder!" I heard my name once again, but it was not Lynda this time. Instead, I felt a hold on the back of my hoodie. She pulled me, but Aubrey had placed her hands onto my face, and her nails dug deep into my skin as Nico took me away.
I stood up in front of Nico, who looked down at me, but then her mouth fell open as she placed her hands onto the side of my neck. I can feel how the marks on my face sting. She moved my head slowly to each side to look at me. Nico is watching me as if someone had torn her heart in two. I looked down, not able to see that pain in her eyes as the shame took over me. I'm not a person who gets into fights, but Aubrey wouldn't stop.
"I'm sorry," I whispered and tried to swallow the shame down, yet it remained. Nico shook her head as she let her hands fall to her side and turned to Aubrey, who had just gotten up on her feet.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" She almost shouted at her.
"She was the one who pushed me," Aubrey said, which was true, though.
"You were the one who provoked her to do it," Lynda argued, and Nico took a deep breath, clearly upset with the situation.
"Why do you care anyway?" Aubrey sounded annoyed with Nico, who is not defending her. People around reminded quiet, and a few left as the fight ended. Nico closed her eyes as she rubbed her forehead with her hand.
"Because this is not okay, Aubrey!" She said in frustration.
"Nobody in their right mind would do something like this," Nico looked at me as she pointed at the marks on my face.
"And?" Aubrey shrugged, which made Nico step towards her in a fury.
"She is bleeding, for christ's sake!" She shouted down at her, which made Aubrey take a few steps back. I didn't realize that I was bleeding; it defiantly hurts, though. I don't think I have ever seen Nico so angry before.
"It's fine," I said as I grabbed hold of Nico's arm; I don't want this to escalate again.
"No, it's not!" She yelled at me, which made me let her go. Then she closed her eyes and took a deep breath to cool herself down.
"I can't," She said lightly, then a moment later, she turned to me.
"I can't do this anymore," Nico's eyes are drowning in misery.
"Can't do what?" Aubrey asked the question on everyone's faces. Nico bit her lip as she wouldn't stop looking at me. I'm not sure if I understand her correctly. Those words made my heart speed up with the worst-case scenario spinning in my mind. The way she said it could mean so many things.
Nico found her way over to me and stared endlessly down at me with her soft eyes. I love it when she looks at me that way, and I don't know why. It's just something in her brown-green that is pulling me in. Makes my heart tumble and fall each time. How can someone turn and twist everything inside of you like this?
"I can't, Wilder," She whispered, shaking her head slightly, and as slow as I am, I realized what she meant now. I parted my lips as I needed to pull in the air back to my lungs, but it hurt my cheeks when I opened my mouth.
"I don't care what they'll think. I love you, Wilder, I really do, and I have had enough of hiding it," She took a deep breath.
"I want to be able to live my life the way I want. I want to hold your hand, kiss you, laugh with you wherever we go, unless if you don't want to, of course," She rolled her eyes at herself, and I furrowed my brows.
"Why wouldn't I want that?" I said, confused, and she smiled ecstatically as she shook her head.
"That's why I love you," She whispered with a light chuckle, and her cheeks lit up in a red color.
"You are just something else, Wilder," She grinned, yet I clenched my jaw and looked down in discomfort as I remembered where we are. Nico took my hand in hers and pulled me along with her. I turned around and met Lynda's eyes, who smiled at me, yet many people seemed shocked and very out of place, but they all stayed quiet.
Nico pulled me into a bathroom and told me to sit down on the edge of the bathtub. While I waited, she looked around for cloth and drenched it with water. She looked concerned when she sat down next to me.
"Does it hurt?" She wondered, carefully placing her hand onto the side of my neck.
"A little," I answered but winced when she started to dry the blood off my cheeks.
"I'm sorry," She said, taking the cloth away from my face.
"It's okay," I tried to smile. I saw myself in the mirror before I sat down, and it's not pretty. It looks like I was in a war or something—red marks going down from underneath my eyes and down to my chin. I can understand why Nico was angry; I would have been too if someone did this to her. She smiled lightly as she tried to clean my face without hurting me; I try my best not to show it, even though it does at times.
"I'm sorry that I snapped and that this happened to you," Nico said as she finished up.
"I should say I have come sooner. I had a feeling that they were up to something after they left the party so early. I asked around if anyone knew where they were headed, and they said they were going to crash your party, and I wish I had been a bit quicker," She sighed.
"It's okay, Nico. I have had worse," I joked, and she smiled as she rolled her eyes at me.
"I'm sorry that I exposed our relationship like that without your permission; I shouldn't have done that; it was wrong of me to do so," She explained, and I shook my head.
"No, I'm sick of it as well. I want to be with you just the way you said. I'm kinda relieved, to be honest," I shrugged, and she breathed out with a smile.
"Good, because now I can finally show off my girlfriend," She chuckled, and with no control, I crinkled my nose. She placed her fingertip on my nose with a warm smile.
"I love you, Wilder, you are kindhearted, and you know how to comfort me," She said, and then a sly smile appeared on her lips.
"And I'm with the best and the hottest soccer player," Nico's words made my cheeks fire up as I stared down at the floor in discomfort.
"I am. Have you ever seen yourself in the mirror because I can't stop looking at you," She teased, and I rolled my eyes.
"You are so beautiful, Wilder, and I mean that in every sense of who you are. I'm the luckiest person in the entire world to be with you, and I know I have been unfair and twisted you into something that I shouldn't have," She said sadly, yet I shook my head.
"No, I mean, yes, I wish you had told me that you were leaving, but we can try and make it work," She smiled at my words.
"Do you want to go on a date with me?" She asked out of the blue and my lips slightly parted to her questions.
"Sure," I answered with a little smile.
"Tomorrow?" She wondered and I nodded.
"I'll pick you up then," Nico grinned and laid her arms above my shoulder to pull me in closer to her. There is a trace of relief in those eyes and I can't help but feel the same way.