You guys! I just re-read some of the first chapters to this book and I honestly felt like deleting the story lmfao :,(... I wish I could rewrite because I also feel as though I've come such a long way, including my writing skills and I feel as though minimal effort was put into this story when I first started. I know it wasn't but i was so eager to get started that I didn't really know where it was heading or bothered researching and improving my grammar or deciding on a plot. I know it's very dramatic in the beginning and I hate the fact I wrote it like that, I really do. These past few chapters I've loved writing, that's why when I now look back I grimace at what I wrote. I know not everything will please everyone, hence the hate comments😌. But I understand some of them ig, I'm sorry for how I started this book but I hope you have started to enjoy the writing a little more now.
I resent this story so much, I like being honest with you guys about these things. That's why when I finish this story I'd like to write a new one, everything won't be dramatised, the writing will be more of a higher quality as such. I'm not positive I'll be writing a new one but I like to think I will be doing so, I enjoy writing.
Pushing all my doubts and annoyance to the side, I really do love you guys. Your comments always humour me and offer me daily enlightenment. Thank you for riding out this crazy journey with me. It's been a learning curve, I've experienced a great deal of emotions throughout writing this story, and some of you have been through it all with me. I never expected my story to even reach this many reads in all honesty, I feel as if-if I knew my story would grow this much attention I would have put a multitude amount of more effort into this. But as I said it's been a learning curve.
The story is soon to be coming to an end.
Yet again I thank you all so much, the devoted readers...and the haters.
Anyhow, enjoy your morning or evening wherever you may be. Stay safe during these times, my inbox is always open.
I love you guys.
Text includes quotations from : Alan watts and Abraham Twerski.
Draco
I observe as her cheeks continue to flush a shade of scarlet, rising to the tips of her ears as she smiles whenever I catch her gaze lingering in my direction.
I'd really never seen anything so captivatingly beautiful.
I just want to feel enveloped in her love whilst set on a constant loop...
Love.
Such a strong concept that's so carelessly tossed around. But no one knows it like I do, like I've acquired to. No one knows it as Adeline Roberts. A life without her would be a means to an end. I'd walk barefooted through hot gravel to the ends of the earth for her. Anything for her. That oh-so highly addictive drug that draws me in until I've consumed every last drop. Love is vulnerability, not physically, but mentally. It's stripping down everything that guards and cages your insecurities, flaws and imperfections and creates it to be something that's so delicately beautiful. Love is never something that can be easily explained or fixed. Everything that's ever caused me pain and grief fades into a meaningless pit of fog. It's that nauseas feeling that brews in the pit of your stomach when thoughts of a life without them spiral throughout your consumed heart and began to splinter cracks inside something that only used to beat for yourself. It's; anger, passion, intimacy, trust, frustration, fulfilment—an intense feeling of deep affection.
A deep affection for her.
I'd never understood the concept of love, of course I'd perceived it to be something as much as a kiss goodnight on my mother's cheek. I'd never realised how deep the meaning of true love can expand. It is said to be a serious mistake to give to those you love but the real answer is that you love those to whom you give. True love is a love of giving, not a love of receiving. And I'd give each and every thing that I can to her, every fibre of my being, for her. Love is a word that's lost its true meaning, but I see it. I see that true meaning, I feel it, It ripples unwillingly throughout my veins. It stains the organ that beats in my chest like ink stains parchment. Love is an act of surrender and faith, to put into perspective it's like taking a step, you never really know wether or not the floor is going to give under your feet, an act of trust, giving someone the chance to break you entirely, but trusting that they won't.
As I sit here, the summer-like sun rays nurturing my cold skin. The birds whistling in song. All I can seem to avert my gaze to is her. Examining the way she watches the trees that sway in the warm breeze, the way she watches the white foams of the sky move cautiously against the blue glaze. The way the raises her arm and allows the tips of her fingers to dance freely against the sunlight. The way a heart filled smile tugs at her lips when a butterfly flutters past her sight. She was to pure, to pure to gamble her life for the saviour of another's, but she would. That's who she is. That's what makes her so pure.
Adeline
I never knew this feeling was in existence.
It's like a new developed obsession.
It starts off so subtly you can barley see it, touch it, feel it. Barley graze the tips of your fingers against it. You're blind to it. And that's the minute it takes it's course, when you're so blind to it that it takes its opportunity to creep, it snatches that opening. It takes advantage of the darkness you are so utterly consumed by. Because once it's been taken, the journey cannot retrace its steps backwards. It crawls up you—blindly. Before you know it, you're left wondering how it started. That was my love, that was my love for Draco. It was in fact so much more than that.
Surrender is love. I give myself.
To him.
I surrender myself to him.
Until death consumes me into its path.
It'll always be him.
I felt the pressure of a body lay next to me on the blanked I was rested against.
My head needn't turn to understand whom it was that currently accompanied me. His scent was enough for me to recognise.
As my hand lay flat amongst the earth, slender like fingers slipped into mine. His skin was cold, but his touch was warm.
"Please don't do this Adeline." a whisper echoed from my right. I tilted my head so my cheek was meeting the ground, his gaze hadn't averted. His visibly clenched jaw strained as he didn't dare to let his eyes move from the blue haze that rested above us.
"Draco I need to-"
"I know," He interrupted in whisper as he tightened his eyes shut. His finger latched onto mine as if it was the last time they'd ever do so. "I know." i watched as the corner of his eye suddenly glistened again at the sun. He inhaled sharply "but I'm not letting you go without me." It was a demand, a statement, nothing such as an option or a question.
He eventually averted his gaze, his face now in line with mine. Suddenly silver and hazel mixed, our eyes poured a thousand emotions into one another's. "You will be the death of me..." he whispered as he grazed his thumb lightly amongst my cheekbone. "The feelings unquestionably mutual." I replied as he cupped my cheek in his overly large hand. His eyes switched between either of mine, as if searching for a sign of resentment. Searching for a sign of debate. Searching for a sign of doubt.
"What is this Draco?" I whispered. The sun beat down on our cheeks as our faces were merely inches away from one another's. Laying flat on our backs with our fingers intertwined, as if we were going to lose grip of one another. Holding on to each other's bones.
"Love." He gulped as his eyes flickered with something, sadness maybe. I'd never had him be so open.
He leant over me now resting on his elbow as he tucked a warm strand of hair behind my ear. His lips met mine, passion and threat. "This is us, I am yours." He whispered into the kiss. After several minutes I could finally take in the information. I gulped, "I am yours." I repeated as I dragged my fingers through his sun kissed hair.
"I should hope so." I could feel his devilish smirk growing against my lips as he pulled away. "Because I'd be rather wounded if you'd said otherwise." He arched a brow as I slightly chuckled.
**
It was nearly time.
I'd taken a scolding shower, attempting to drown my thoughts down the drain along with the soap that slipped off my skin.
What if I don't make it out alive.
It'll be worth it for Theo.
I'd rather die knowing I tried than run and regret.
What if he makes the death slow.
What if he tortures me.
Pains me and strips my mental state before the life leaves my soul.
What if Draco dies.
What if my fathers eyes are the last set I look into before my life slips from my grasp.
What if Kol does.
What if Jayden dies.
The devil that sits comfortably on my shoulder manages to whisper its torturous demands and conclusions into my ear, worming into my subconscious.
All on your account you selfish bitch!
"Stop..."
Risking their lives for your pathetic mere existence.
"No I—stop!"
Look at you. You heartless bitch!
"J-just stop!"
YOU'RE PATHETIC!
"SHUT UP!" I shout into the scorching water of the shower. I proceeded to drag my dampened fingers through my soaked hair, attempting to contain my breaths as my skin began to turn a shade of scarlet.
I grab a hold of the temperature, violently twisting it all the way down. Droplets of ice sensations beat harshly on my back as my muscles slack. My breath gradually decreases to a normal pace as I support my body onto my palms that rested on steamed glass.
After I'd dried myself off I wiped the condensation off of the mirrored glass with my palm. Peering back at my reflection as my finger tips gripped the sink. I'd surrounded myself so much with company I'd barley been alone, and now I was, the severity of the situation seemed to topple down on me like a collapsing roof. I hadn't any time to think, to dwell, to cry, to grieve, and here I was—alone. Emotions pumping violently throughout my body. Shudders rushing down my spine like a silver knife being dragged against the bone. I fought back the tears threatening to break at my caruncles and lower eyelids. My vision became unfocused as a layer of salty walker covered my eye ball, if I blinked it'd run. I had to be strong.
Had to be strong.
I let out strangled sob into my hand as a warm splash of water hit the basin of the sink. I latched my hand tighter over my mouth to try and muffle my sobs as I squeezed my eyes shut, praying it'd end. Praying it was a nightmare. All of it.
But it wasn't.
A nightmare? Yes.
A dream? No.
This was a waking nightmare, taunting my every cry.
I inhaled a sharp breathe after inhaling and exhaling within a pacific time frame. I roughly dragged my finger across my face as I shook my head.
I'd obtained the same look I had the previous day, all black and a slick back ponytail. Although I'd been resting beneath exposed sun rays for hours I looked paler than ever.
An ashy shade even, edging on transparent.
I'd walked downstairs nodding my acknowledgment to the trio of men seated around our family dining table.
Oh how times have changed.
We still had another 12 minutes precisely before we'd apparate.
Draco informed us of the magical wards surrounding the manor. Of course. How stupid could we have been to not even think of such. "I'll disturb the wards but you all need to ensure you come through at the precise time I do. His wards are not intended to block anyone's presence they're merely just a notification that someone has entered the manners grounds." Draco was to be the distraction.
"You know when and where to meet me, we need to ensure we all exit in the same manor we entered." His voice was husky and low as he drilled the plan repeatedly into our brains until a mental note was imprinted.
A deep pit formed above my abdomen as a nauseating feeling spiralled throughout my body.
"Is everyone clear on the plan?" Jayden questioned as everyone's eyes darted to each other.
We all nodded in agreement.
"Nine minutes." Kol reminded as we sat in silence, preparing ourselves as we sat muted at the dining table.