( TW!!! anxiety attack/mental breakdown?? idk what to call it exactly but putting this here just in case, love you sm <3 )
third person.
it was nearing 4am, the morning mollie was due to make the return to new york to continue with school before christmas break in the next 3 weeks. yet she was wide awake, sitting up right in her bed as her boyfriend was fast asleep beside her, his arms wrapped around a cushion as mollie wasn't there to fill it's place.
it wasn't that the girl had been doing anything to keep her awake. she was sat there cross-legged, her phone face up beside her and her arms wrapped around herself, tears falling down her face and picking up the pace as each second went past.
she had no reason to be so upset this early in the morning, nothing had happened to provoke it and she knew there was nothing to dread for the day ahead, apart from the fact that it was another day she'd have to try and get by.
and due to the fact that she didn't want to interrupt corbyn's sleep, she had no idea of what to do with herself knowing that even trying to get out of bed would wake him up unless it was done so with proper caution.
she knew she could be a difficult person most of the time, if not all of the time. there was a lot to her for anyone to figure out or to even deal with, and from past friendships and even her relationship with her parents, she knew all about this by now. and knowing she was a difficult person only added on to her self-hatred, and how she wished she wouldn't always put corbyn in a situation that he felt like he had no control over.
yet nothing worried the girl more than letting someone see her cry, someone seeing her so vulnerable and knowing that they had free will to take advantage of the situation, having someone know that she was constantly on edge with everything.
but with the intrusive thoughts already engraved in her mind, it came with even more worries that she had no idea would even be possible. which was when she soon began to panic, and beside from the tears already flowing, her breathing then became uneasy.
the hyperventilating didn't take long to appear and the shaking of her hands arrived quicker than she thought, and the attempt at keeping her crying quiet seemed to be almost impossible for her to keep up with.
and when the walls felt like they were closing in and she could hardly breathe, that was when mollie gripped the boys arm and refused to let go of it, her nails digging into his skin as the boy jumped out of his sleep and immediately looked at his arm.
"shit mollie, ow." corbyn inhaled sharply as he tried to pull his hand off of him, his eyes half open and his voice raspy, "shit stop this hurts so bad."
"why the fuck did you do that- mollie?" he paused, immediately sitting up once he noticed how badly she seemed to be shaking and then pointing out the rest of the signs, "hey, what happened?"
"i'm sorry," she choked out before scratching her arms multiple times until corbyn moved her hands away from her.
"you're going to hurt yourself," corbyn mumbled, gently pulling her towards him before he wrapped his arms around mollie, one of his hands tangled into her hair and the other stroking her back as she continued to let tears fall down her face.
grabbing one of her blankets from the bottom of her bed, the boy soon wrapped it around the girl and tucked it into small gap between them both, placing a small kiss on her forehead before his hands went back to where they previously were, "nothing is going to hurt you, i got you."
despite how calm corbyn may have portrayed himself to be on the outside, on the inside he was more than terrified and overwhelmed. from never seeing his girlfriend do anything other than shed a few tears to a whole anxiety attack, he was more than unsure of what to do, and at this point he knew it was safe to say it was concerning and that school should've been the last of her priorities.
as she continued to sob onto his chest while he held her close, a wave of panic set in as he realised he had no proper way of controlling it, or if it was even possible to. and while he didn't even know the cause of this all, it only bothered him more that it could be something he couldn't control either, but was too afraid to ask because he didn't know if it would be deemed insensitive or not.
"i can't do this anymore." mollie shook her head, her voice barely stable as she wiped her eyes with the sleeves of the hoodie she had one.
"yes you can," he replied, "it'll be okay, i promise."
"no corbyn im tired of feeling like this all the time." she continued as corbyn stayed silent, "i just want to give up, i'm over it."
"no, no no," corbyn shook his head, placing a few kissed on the top of hers, "i know you'll be fine, stop doubting yourself."
"you don't understand."
"i'm trying to," he sighed, "what if you take a break from school?"
"i can't-"
"molls i hate seeing you like this," he interrupted her, "if you're that far away i can't do anything while you're like this, you're going back today right?"
mollie gave him a nod, still unable to look at him as she wrapped her arms around his torso, her head going back to his chest before hearing him let out another sigh.
"this isn't like you at all," he mumbled, "i'm worried about you."
"no it's fine," she shook her head, "it's fine i'm fine, everything's fine."
"you just say that so you won't have someone worried about you." the boy frowned, "you're still visibly shaking."
"i'm fine," mollie repeated, grabbing one of his hands and playing with the two rings on his fingers.
"mollie..."
"fine." she mumbled, placing a small kiss on his hand.
♡
a/n
i gotta stop w these double updates
also i didn't know how to end this
also i didn't know what to put as a tw
ALSOOOO how we feeling about this chapter, what are ur thoughts </3