K I A R A ' S P.O.V
I saw red when I caught Tristan in my bedroom, snooping through my closet. Suddenly every single thought of getting back together with him, and the kiss we had just shared, went flying out the window.
"What the hell are you doing in my room?" He clenched his jaw in fury, causing me to narrow my eyes at him.
Why the fuck was he angry?
"Why do you have Aaron's number?" He retorted, his voice scarily quiet. I felt my heart stop as I noticed the small piece of appear in his hands that he was slowly crushing.
"I..I..um.." There was really no excuse. And he knew it.
"When did you see him?" I had to tell him the truth, and that meant about everything. Even if he hated me afterwards.
"That night I came back to the house with blood on my dress. You were in my room."
I recalled every moment from the fateful night. The way that disgustingly drunk man tried to rape me, his fingers scraping against my bare skin, from the gunshot that saved me from that terrible fate, to seeing Aaron for the first time in years, to feeling his body pressed against, the way he apologised and asked for my forgiveness, the way I gave it to him, to the shame I felt seeing Tristan after meeting Aaron, to the utter humiliation and rejection that consumed me when Tristan denied my advances.
"It's been that long?" He sounded broken. And I caused that. "Were you with him last night when you went to see Elizabeth?"
How the fuck did he...she told him. Of course she did. Fuck, if I didn't like the bitch so much I would have killed her.
"Yes." I didn't have the energy to lie anymore.
"Why?" He gulped, waiting for my answer, and I glanced up at him with tears eyes.
"Because I needed help to find her and...Aaron is the only person I know who would do that. He was really kind to me Tristan and I didn't hurt Elizabeth, she actually turned out to be really nice."
"Were you jealous?" I recalled the pure anger and jealously I felt, it was as if every part of my body was coursing with the desire to kill her.
"A part of me was and a part of me was hurt that you wanted someone else over me." It hurt to admit it, but it was true.
"Fuck, Kiara I will always want you. More than I want Elizabeth, it's just...she was there. She listened to my problems about you and my feelings. She had her own shit going on and we bonded over the fact that we hurt the people we love. The sex helped me control the carnal desire so feel towards you, so I can actually control myself. It was never about replacing you, it was about moving on with my life. Whether that be with you or...alone."
I couldn't blame him, I used sex too. To forget, to find an ounce of pleasure amongst the wave of pain I felt. Maybe me and Tristan were too alike in that sense?
"Aaron will..."
"Tristan I...he's changed. He's not trying to hurt me anymore." I wanted Tristan to see that maybe everything could go back to how it used to be. With me and Tristan together, with Aaron as our friend. I wanted that life again.
"But he's trying to hurt me." I frowned in confusion as he walked over to my bed and sat down. Copying his movements, I perched besides him. "He's been sending me messages Kiara, he want revenge on me for leaving the gang." I shook my head furiously.
Aaron wouldn't do that, he's changed. How well do you really know him though Kiara? I was entranced by his charm for sure but, was I really that blind to see the truth?
"See? Baby-girl, he's a liar. That's what he does, that's why he's so good at what he does. He lies, manipulates, and hurts people to get what he wants."
"He's already destroyed me once, and our relationship. What does he want now?" Reaching to grab my hand, he tipped my chin up and smiled sadly.
"You. He wants you." My breath hitched in the back of my throat at his response.
Aaron wanted me? I always took his sexual advances as just...playful banter. Sure, we'd slept together but it was all a drunken haze. It meant nothing to either of us.
"You have to be lying." I whispered in denial. I refused to believe that everything that happened between me and Aaron the other night was just a ploy to get into my pants.
"I'm not baby-girl, even when we were together, Aaron wanted you. He always has. You're the mafia princess." Standing up abruptly, I began to pace my room back and forth, rubbing my hands through my greasy hair.
Fuck, I really needed a shower after this.
"So, he only wants me because of my title? Because of who my father is?" A bitter laugh left my mouth, as I thought up a million ways to kill that bastard.
"It started off like that, for both of us. The plan was for me to become your friend, your closet confidante, maybe date you if I needed to, a few stolen kisses here and there."
"Let me guess, you got carried away and fucked me instead?" I muttered sarcastically, a pit of dread forming in the bottom of my stomach.
"No, I made love to you because I realised that I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't use you, not when I was hopelessly in love with you." I stepped back a little from the power of his words.
This was the ultimate truth, and it was killing me. Every part of it.
"So you were never meant to sleep with me, to make me fall in love with you?" Striding across the room, he grabbed my arms and yanked me into him. An inaudible gasp left my mouth as his hand trailed up shoulder, grabbing my neck and squeezing it ever so softly.
"Never, but I did. Because you are nothing but sheer perfection." Cupping my cheek, I leant into his touch, releasing just how much my body craved his.
"Men would kill to have you, they probably have, and I felt like the luckiest bastard in the world to have you in my arms. Yes, there was always a darkness plaguing our relationship, even in our best moments." I knew who he was talking about, but for some reason I just didn't want to admit it.
"Aaron. He was always there, controlling me, pulling the strings. If I had to jump, he'd tell me how high, and I just couldn't live knowing my life was controlled by him. Not anymore."
"So, you ran?" Tristan gulped noticeably, his hands falling slack at his sides.
"It was the most cowardly thing I had ever done, and the worst mistake of my life. Because I should have fought for you, I should have risked everything for us. For love."
"Even if Aaron wasn't a problem, my family is. My father would never allow us to be together." Placing his hand in my mine, he pressed it against his chest, letting me feel the soft beat of his heart.
I bit my lip, remembering all the times I would press my ear against his chest whilst he slept, just to remind me that he was here. That he loved me.
"Would you fight for us Kiara? Would you fight for me?" Would I defy everything I had ever known just to be with him? Would I risk my family for love?
"If you stayed, I would have fought. But now..."
"Everything is different." He finished for me. He always could read my mind.
Smiling sadly, I wrapped my arms around his neck and basked in the feeling of being in his arms once again. "I'll see you tomorrow morning baby-girl."
Reluctantly I pulled away from him and nodded. "Goodbye Tristan."
Why did that feel like I was saying it indefinitely? Why did it hurt so much to watch him leave?
Pulling my clothes off, I climbed into the shower and let the warm water wash away my tears.
I don't know why I cried? Maybe because today had been a complete emotional rollercoaster? Maybe because I was sick of constantly feeling trapped by my own heart, by my own love?
All I know is that my body still craved his, my lips still yearned for his.
I turned off the water and stumbled over to my bed, still holding my towel up to my chest. Yanking my phone out of the charger, I turned it on, only to see a message that caused my heart to drop.
I won't use my one phone call to drag you away from your busy schedule...but I would love to see you again. Missing you Princess 😉 ~ Aaron
I let the phone drop onto the bed and fell backwards. Aaron. What the fuck do I do about Aaron?
I should ignore him, I should avoid him at all costs yet a part of me...a tiny tiny part of me wants to stay, wants to go to his house and never leave. A tiny part of me loved the thrill, the adventure, the laughter he brought.
But he was dangerous. He was unpredictable and yet...that made him even more attractive.
I saw my phone light up again, another message from Aaron.
Why are you ignoring me? ~ Aaron
Turning the phone off, I grabbed the duvets and draped them over my wet body. I couldn't help but feel drowsy after this long tiring day.
I didn't know if Aaron had actually sent Tristan threats, and to be honest I didn't want to know. It would completely destroy this new image that I had built up of Aaron, and I'm not sure I could be friends with him if he did.
Then again, even if he did I only had part of the story, but if I asked him and I didn't then he would know I didn't trust him.
Fuck, my life was officially a mess.
***
"What happened?" Tessa said the moment I pulled my hood down. My eyes were lined with dark circles and I was probably sure that my mascara was running but I didn't give a fuck.
"Something entirely fucked up." With that, Tessa knew not to push me anymore and kept quiet as we walked down to chemistry.
Tristan has already been pulled away by Natasha and her gang of bitches much to his protest.
The journey to school had been awkward to say the least, yet I know that we both had things to get off our chests. After falling asleep in the middle of the afternoon, I had woken up at twelve, and decided to eat my dinner alone in the dark.
It wasn't like my mother didn't check up on me, she did. They all did, even my dad who threatened to break the door down if I didn't open it up.
I told them all it was period cramps which got rid of the men but my mother was a different story. She simply said, you can tell me later sweetheart and then left me alone to drown in my own sorrows.
I almost turned to vodka but put the bottle back, before my hands could unscrew the lid. I couldn't turn to alcohol to drink my problems anyways, not anymore.
"Hey, only four more weeks until graduation that's exciting right and then we can do whatever ever we want." She whispered gleefully, kicking my leg under the table.
"Can't wait." I mumbled, knowing I had no plans after graduation. Not that I needed to work since my dad was a millionaire but I didn't want to be one of those children who leeched off their parents. I just...hadn't figured out what I want to do with my life yet.
"Kiara, did he hurt you again?" He. She didn't even have to mention his name to know he was the source of my tears. Yet this time, the pain and confusion was equally spilt. And I couldn't even confide in my best friend, not about Aaron at least.
"We kissed yesterday at the lake." Her whole face lit up.
"No way, that's so romantic."
"It was actually. The sun was beaming, we were both in our underwear, birds were literally singing and the water felt magical. The kiss felt as though it lasted for years when I reality it was only a few minutes." I had never been one for sappy crap in a relationship. Tristan was though.
He was beyond romantic, showering me with presents and gifts, writing me little love notes that I kept in my black box and planting a rose outside my door every day. I missed that. Even though I would never admit it.
"I can't believe you! You were practically making out with a hot guy in the lake whilst I was suffering through my second hour of trig with Mr Daniels." Shrugging my shoulders, I smirked at her.
"Life's a bitch." She giggled, and I noticed for the first time that my best friend had this glow about her.
"Who are you fucking?" Her laughter ceased.
"What?" I pointed at the bright smile she had plastered on her face all week.
"You're with someone, I can tell." She blushed furiously, burying her face into her hands.
"Kiara stop, there's no-one."
"I may be depressed but I'm not completely invalid. I know when my best friend likes someone, or dare I say love?" Arching my eyebrow at her, she laughed.
"Fine you caught me. There is someone."
"Who?" I wanted to desperately forget about my mess of a love life and focus on her, hopefully stable one.
"I can't tell you that, it's not been that long. We're just talking." Rolling my eyes, I groaned.
"Fine, but what's he like?" A silly grin erupted on her face, the same kind I used to have whenever I talked about Tristan.
"He's perfect. Hot, sexy, smart, strong, funny, caring.."
"Are you sure you're describing a guy? Because all guys have their faults."
"Well, I guess his is that he's a little bit older than me and his family situation of course. It's difficult." She quickly dismissed the topic but I was intrigued. This mystery man certainly had my best friend wrapped around his finger.
***
Lunch came around fast and I left my third period classroom, rubbing my head as the pain from having barely any sleep came back. Walking down to the lunch canteen to meet Tessa, I gasped as a hand yanked me into the boys toilet's, pressing their other hand against my mouth.
The hand was taken away and quickly replaced by a pair of soft lips. The familiar touch had me feeling safer than before, as his arms wrapped around my waist to pull me in closer.
I wanted this, I wanted for him to fuck me in the bathroom, to make me forget everything but I couldn't. Something just felt wrong.
Pushing him back, I placed my hand on his chest to stop him from coming any closer. "We can't." I murmured, leaning back against the wall.
"Why not?" Sawyer asked dejectedly, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Because it's wrong. It's bad for us both to just be using in each other in this way. For sex. We use each other for comfort and safety, because we lack it from anyone else." Reaching down, he cupped my cheek with his hand and placed his forehead on mine.
"I'm not using you Kiara, I want you. All of you." I sighed, a wave of pain washing over me as I knew that I had to break this poor boy's heart.
He was better off without me.
"This was only ever sex for me Sawyer. I've never had a relationship except with one person and that ended terribly. It broke me Sawyer." Taking a deep breath, a bitter laugh left my mouth.
"I was never like this. I wasn't the girl who slept around and causally fucked any guy she liked. I was innocent, pure, hidden away from all these desires but my ex triggered something in me. Sex made me feel good with him, amazing in fact, so I used sex to forget the pain. even if it only is for a few seconds. Because I would rather have a few seconds of euphoria, than constantly living in pain." Grabbing my hands, he clasped them tight as a single tear drop rolled down my cheek.
"I can help you Kiara. I can get rid of the pain, just let me try. Let me in." I shook my head, stepping back and wiping away the pain.
"I can't take that risk. Not anymore, it hurts too much. I still love him Sawyer, and it's not fair to you. I can't drag you down with me, it's only a matter before I explode. I don't want to hurt you."
"You already are Kiara, you're killing me. I lo..." I pressed my head against his mouth, before he could say the words.
"Don't, it'll only make things worse." Hiking my bag onto my shoulder, I opened up the door, turning back to look at him once more.
"You'll regret this Kiara, I could have given you everything."
"Only one man can give me everything Sawyer, and I'm sorry, but it's not you." With that, I walked away.
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A/N: Aww 😥 Anyone feel bad for Sawyer
And what are your thoughts on Aaron now?
What about their confession? The truth is finally out but do you think Tristan reacted to it well?
Bring a smile to my face and please press that vote button. Also feel free to write a comment, I love hearing from you guys! ❤️