"I finally figured out that not every crisis can be managed. As much as we want to keep ourselves safe, we can't protect ourselves from everything. If we want to embrace life, we also have to embrace chaos." ~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips
The Daughter
My heart was pounding as I rode the elevator the next morning. I hadn't received any 'you have nine point seven seconds before I beat you to the coffee-pot' texts from Spencer. This, was extremely unusual, to say the least.
But I suppose it wasn't anything I didn't deserve.
As a matter of fact, I still had seventy-eight seconds until Spencer would be in the office, and I made sure of this because I wanted to be there before everyone that morning in order to talk to Hotch. Alone.
I knew it'd be easier for everyone if I just told them the truth about my past, but I couldn't. There was a reason I'd kept it buried; mostly out of protection and oath. But after Caitlyn's appearance in New York the day before, I had known Garcia would've found something, but I couldn't quite believe she'd been about to announce everything to the whole team.
I was still hurt, and completely outraged.
The team had every right to be angry at me for keeping something huge from them, but we all had secrets. Secrets of the field, secrets of the career. When you were in this line of work, you had to keep skeletons in your closet. There was no room to be dragging that shit around with you.
"Melanie, a word?" Hotch said the second I was at my desk. I'd opened my mouth to ask if I could talk to him, but apparently, I was just too slow.
I rose from my desk and froze momentarily as I realised what had been so off about his words.
He'd just called me Melanie.
I gulped back the dread as I followed him up to his office where he closed the door behind me.
"Please, take a seat." He gestured to the sofa where I sat down while he stood in the centre of his office; his hands in his pockets.
"I am so sorry for not telling you sooner," I apologised. "But you have to understand, I changed who I was because I was scared. I was left with no choice. You must understand that that information wouldn't be classified without good cause... I've worked hard to keep my past buried, and that's where I'd like it to stay. I have enemies that I don't want finding me again, the last thing I wanted was for that information to be found and passed around." Hotch was nodding his head.
"You don't have to explain to me, Melanie, I completely understand."
I hadn't been called Melanie in such a long time. But to hear my father calling me the one name I'd been shut off to... it made me feel like all of those wrong decisions had been right. Somehow.
"Y-you do?" I stuttered, blinking up at him in confusion. He nodded and sighed, taking a seat on the coffee table a couple of feet in front of me.
"I do," He admitted. "You done what you thought was best to protect yourself. I would have done exactly the same thing if I were in your shoes, and believe me, after everything that happened with your mother and the New York Terrorist Cell, I wanted to start my life all over as someone completely different too.
"But I couldn't. I had a family and a team here, I couldn't just drop all of that and change. But you were young, impressionable, with your whole life ahead of you and no ties. Whatever happened in your past, was awful enough to have you running. That I can only begin to understand." Hotch sighed and shook his head sadly.
"Have you read the file?" I whispered, looking down at my clasped hands.
"No," he said firmly, shaking his head. "That information, you can share with me in your own time. I understand what you had to do for your safety, you have done what any good agent would do...
"The team need to be able to trust who they're working with. I can't have them thinking I'm being lenient with you just because you're my daughter..."
I looked up at him in a heartbeat, staring into his eyes as he acknowledged for the first time that I was actually his own.
"I-I understand." I stuttered, realising he was waiting on my reply.
"They're going to need answers. And don't be surprised if it's like starting all over again. They're going to take it personally, each of them, and you're going to have to make it up to them." I nodded my head, I'd thought as much.
"To tell you the truth, sir, I thought you were bringing me in here to fire me, so the fact that you're telling me to explain myself to them is actually letting me off real easy." Hotch smiled as he got to his feet.
"Believe me, explaining yourself to this team, is far from letting you off easy."
The Doctor
I was purposely late so I wouldn't need to interact with Joy / Melanie at the coffee countertops as usual. Instead, I entered the office just as Garcia was getting ready to begin - and I had my own coffee-shop coffee.
"Sorry, I'm late." I mumbled as I sat down on my seat, avoiding all eyes. I realised she was in her usual place next to me, and I ignored that too.
"Okay, so, Texas have a serial bomber on their hands."
"A bomber?" Morgan echoed.
"Yes, chocolate man, a bomber," Garcia clicked up photos of three buildings on fire. "The first bomb was a month ago, an abandoned building, an old chemical factory. Local PD and fire department thought it might've just been left-over chemicals reacting. However, after the second bomb exploded three weeks later, this time in a local high school out-of-hours, they knew it wasn't just by chance.
"They went back to the old factory but found no traces of any bomb or transmitter. The school bomb killed the three security guards on duty at the time which was the first time there'd been any casualties. The third bomb was yesterday afternoon, in another high-school, this time casualty count was a hundred. Twenty of those were DOA, a further fifteen later died in hospital and the rest are still being treated in different hospitals for their injuries."
"Did they say what the bomb was made of?" Morgan asked.
"Uhm... That info is on your tablets." Garcia said, staring at the list on the screen and shuddering.
"So we're essentially looking for an experimenting scientist." I said matter-of-factly after looking at the list of chemicals found on site.
"What makes you say that?" JJ asked.
"Well, this guy is using chemicals, so really it's more accurate to call these explosions not bombs. I mean, yes they're bombs, but they're made with chemicals essentially and the electronics are brought in as... almost an after-thought. The places he's targeting prove my theory also; an abandoned chemical factory, an out-of-hours high school with the bomb being found detonated in the science department, and an in-hours high school with bomb detonation location being in the science department also. The unsub is definitely a scientist of some sort."
"Well whoever he is, he needs to be caught fast. Wheels up in twenty."
I hurried out of the office behind Hotch; doing anything and everything in my power to physically and mentally avoid Joy / Melanie.
The Daughter
I opened my mouth to call for Spencer but he immediately left alongside Hotch. I knew that was specifically to avoid me, but I'd be damned if I was going to let my stupid past ruin things with my team and me. I needed them and I believed they needed me.
"Listen, guys, can I talk to you for a sec? I'll be real quick I promise," They all stopped moving and talking to turn to me. I stood up from the table, chewing on my lip absentmindedly as they all sat back down.
"I'm sorry that you guys feel like I lied to you... It makes me really sad to know that you had to find out about me the way that you did." There was a pause as I gathered my thoughts and looked up.
"Were you ever going to tell us though, Joyner? Really?" Morgan asked, clearly pissed. I met his eyes sadly and realised he seemed awkward and uncomfortable as well as pissed. Clearly, he didn't have a clue what to call me. I wasn't even sure either.
For the past four years, I'd been used to people calling me either Joyner or Joy. Nobody ever called me Brenda. I grew sad at the name really, missing my grandma more each time I heard it.
"I was going to tell you all today. After Caitlyn showed up in New York like that yesterday, I knew I had to tell you all. It was obvious something was wrong, and I knew I couldn't and shouldn't hide it from you. I'm only sorry I wasn't the one to tell you."
"But why did you lie?" Garcia asked in a wounded and quiet voice.
"I didn't lie," I whispered. "I just didn't tell you," I cleared my throat. "You have to understand that things happen in Interpol that have to be left in the past," They nodded their heads. "Emily you know what I'm talking about here," I looked at Prentiss who nodded and dipped her head.
"I can't risk the safety of myself or my team, past and present, by telling you everything that happened in my past and how I am the person I am today. We all have skeletons. I'm not asking you all to share yours, so please don't force me to share mine."
They all stared up at me, not knowing what exactly to say.
"So what do we call you now?" Morgan asked coldly.
"You call me whatever you want to call me," I sighed. "Hotch is choosing Melanie. So maybe it's best if that's the way it stays. I don't want to be known from my mother, but if calling me Joyner works easiest for you all, then I'm happy to go with what helps make this situation... easier, for you all," I nodded and they all shared equal expressions of uncertainty.
"I totally understand that it's going to take a while for you to trust me again, and I respect that. All I'm asking is that you give me the chance to make it up to you all again." JJ nodded her head as did Emily, but Morgan was still clearly unconvinced.
"It's going to take a while," Morgan said eventually. "But, we're a team. And we work together. We'll work through this too." He stared at me for a moment longer before leaving the room, Garcia quickly following in his footsteps.
"They're young," Rossi said. "They don't appreciate life the way I do," He explained. "I get that you made a mistake, we all have, but I respect the decision you made, and for what it's worth I think it was the right one. I don't respect the fact that you kept it from us, but I understand that there wasn't any other option for you. It'll take them a while, but they'll come round. You're Hotch's daughter and he obviously trusts you. I've never doubted a decision that man has made, and I'm not about to start now." I nodded my head appreciatively of Rossi, taking comfort in the hand he had on my shoulder.
"Thank you, Rossi," I smiled at him warmly. "And you guys?" I asked, looking up at JJ and Emily.
"I've been where you're standing," Emily said with a small smile. "You don't have to explain yourself to me." She said softly.
"I'd like to say I'm the same," JJ said in a quiet voice. "But Spencer is really hurt by your decision to lie to us. And Morgan's right... we have to build our trust with you again. But we'll get there, and we'll learn to understand that your decision was the right one."
I sighed, I knew this wasn't going to be easy, but I didn't realise the team were going to put me through such strict paces. WHy couldn't they understand that what Garcia had found was illegal? I was the one protecting those classified files that we all swore an oath to protect. Why were they so hellbent on breaking it?
The Leader
The atmosphere in the jet was far from a pleasant one. Rossi made me aware of the conversation Melanie had had with the team before we took off, so it was easy to understand why the awkwardness was even more intense as what it had been in the office; now nobody knew what to do or say because they didn't know how to feel.
I, on the other hand, was completely aware of how I felt.
If it wasn't obvious Melanie was my daughter before, it certainly was now. After seeing her picture of when she was a brunette, her facial similarities of mine were completely overwhelming. I was already beginning to warm to the idea of having a daughter, but now it was simply inevitable.
She was so alike me it was scary and breathtaking all at the same time. She was even named after my mother; if that wasn't a sign, I don't know what was.
During the briefing and developing she stayed quiet; sat on the sofa a little detached from the group. I didn't mind though because I knew she was paying attention and working; she was just doing it silently because for the moment that's the way the team were comfortable. She was all for the comfort, safety and happiness of everyone else; and that was also reassuring.
"Okay, JJ you and Reid head to the hospital and interview the victims, staff and the families, we need to establish if there was any suspicious behaviour in the department before the detonation.
"Morgan I want you to speak to the bomb squad in order to establish who would have the skills and power and equipment to create these kinds of explosions.
"Prentiss, you and Dave head to the crime-scenes and get a feel of the area. Melanie and I will head to the station and work victimology and try to establish a connection between the sites."
There was a pause and Reid frowned at me from across the table.
"Melanie...?" He mumbled, casting his eyes across the jet before they landed on Melanie and he nodded, realising.
"Oh, never mind..." He whispered and dropped his gaze back to the table.
The Daughter
Just before we were due to land, Emily approached and took to the seat opposite me.
"Hi." She said with a small smile.
"Hi," I repeated, unsure of how to react. "You do realise we're on a jet and the whole team are aware of you crossing onto enemy territory by sitting here, right?" She smirked and shook her head.
"What they think doesn't matter," She sighed. "I understand what you did and why you did it," She said. "Look, you know about my past with this team and Interpol. And yet here I am; still here, still a part of the team. Sure I took time out of it all, but I'm back.
"And I'll always come back, and they'll always welcome me back. For a while, I never thought I'd be able to say that. But time heals the wounds, and in this line of work, you can't stay mad at the team forever. Cause before long one of them swoops in and saves your ass right when you need them to," We both chuckled and she sighed, reaching across the table and covering my hand with her own.
"Don't be too down-beat about it, Melanie," I smiled as she effortlessly called me by my real name. "They'll learn to get over it. Just like they learned to get over it with me," She winked. "You and Reid will be having cocktails and dancing again in no time."
*
We'd been working for hours on the case, pursuing leads and geographical profiles, and yet we only had one potential lead.
"Alright, we'll go speak to this Doctor Ratchkins and see what he knows." Hotch said. I blinked up from the floor in time to see everyone piling out of the room in a hurry.
The atmosphere was thick and tense and awkward, clearly, nobody knew how to talk to me or where to look, and I felt ridiculously out of place.
My stomach churned and flipped as though I had a live animal inside trying to eat or claw it's way out. Being in situations like these only took me back to times I'd much rather forget; times at school before I was the tough agent I was now. The memory of those days made me feel sick.
By the time we got to the cars, I was put in the back of Morgan's next to JJ, Reid upfront in shotgun. We all had our bullet-proof vests on, but that didn't make me immune from the hatred being shot at me inside the SUV.
I counted the seconds from the station all the way out to the middle of the desert where this so-called 'Doctor' lived. It took us eighteen hundred and twenty-seven seconds in case you were wondering. Which yes, is an awfully long time to be cooped up inside a silent car.
We pulled up to the house, which resembled more of a small facilitation than a home.
"Okay, Morgan, Reid, JJ and Melanie you take the ground floor through the front door. The rest of us take the first floor and go in through the back. Let's go." Hotch said.
We all had our guns aimed low as we hurried to the front door - which had no front yard or porch to emphasise it - and after knocking on the door to no reply, Morgan nodded to the PD who blasted the door in with the weight.
As usual, Reid and JJ were behind me; just because we weren't on friendly terms, didn't mean we breached normal procedure. Morgan waved for me to check the left side and I done as I was told without question. He took the rooms behind the stairs and I was aware that JJ was directed to the right.
"Clear!"
"Clear!"
"Clear!"
"Clear!"
Voices could be heard announcing the emptiness of the house all around me, but I pushed through the long corridor I was faced with. I heard measured footsteps behind me but I kept going, knowing it was only Reid.
I came to the end of the corridor where a solid clear glass door held no handle but instead had a finger-pad next to it. Frowning I placed my palm against the pad and the door slid open. I scoured the room before announcing.
"Clear!" And holstering my gun.
The door slid closed behind me and I spun with wide eyes, only to see Reid standing on the other side, pressing his palm to the pad in confusion. I realised his lips were moving, but I couldn't clearly hear what he was saying.
I hurriedly began searching for a handle or a pad to open the door from this side but there was nothing. Nothing bar a tiny circular hole in the door I presumed was a special key-hole. I audibly groaned, tilting my head back slightly.
"Reid?!" I called and he immediately looked up. "There's no handle or pad on this side. You have to open the door," I instructed. He shook his head and began saying something to me; something I couldn't hear naturally. "I can't hear you, what're you saying?" Panic tore through me as the rest of the team ran to the door and each took turns in pressing the pad.
"Guys that's enough open the goddamned door." I said angrily, standing on the other side with my arms folded in anger. They were shaking their heads furiously, saying things I couldn't hear.
"What's going on, I can't hear what you're saying." I said, my stomach flipping. Reid frantically pushed his hair from his face with long fingers and groped his mic attached to his vest, explaining through coms,
"We can't open the door with the palm pad. The rest of the house is clear but we're going to have to blast it open."
I nodded my head, taking a step back from the glass. However, as soon as I did this the whole team began frantically shouting things at me; things I couldn't hear but could imagine nevertheless as they began waving their hands at me. Just as Reid's frantic,
"MELANIE TURN AROUND!" Screeched through the coms I spun around in time to receive a punch in the middle of my gut. I doubled over; the breath completely knocked from me.
I looked up and caught the fist plummeting towards me, yanking on the man's hand and moving in time for him to whizz by me and crash into the door.
"Oh you should not have done that." He said. I realised with a stab he was elderly, with white hair and a wrinkling face. He was slightly hunched over but that didn't stop him snapping his arm out expertly and plummeting a fist into my face.
Wincing I flew to the floor and he took a step forward, throwing his leg into my stomach. Crying out in agony I heard a crunch and pain swarmed through me like poison. I was just able to roll myself over for his other kick to land in the centre of my back. I spasmed on the floor before I groaned in rage and yanked myself to my feet.
Spinning slightly dizzily I kicked out and sent the old man flying into a stack of papers, groaning. I didn't realise he'd reached out and had something in his hand until I'd hurried over to him to subdue him.
This, was a mistake as he hit out and smashed a large chemical bottle over the back of my head. I landed on the ground, face first away from him. Groaning and wincing as the broken glass cut into my hands and forearms and face I tried to conjure the strength to get to my feet.
I felt a foot on the centre of my back and before long he moved, pressing his entire weight down on my left upper arm. I cried out in agony but all he did was laugh. He reached down and grabbed my bobble with a tight fist, yanking my hair and subsequently pulling me to my feet in groans and whimpers of agony.
He threw me against the door and I crashed against it, my entire team jumping backwards and shouting things through coms I tried to block out. Before I could fall again the man grabbed me by my head and yanked me back.
When I was able to see the glass door I realised I'd left a bloody smudge mark on the glass. I couldn't establish yet which part of my head or face was bleeding the most. My team were looking at me apologetically, worriedly, desperately.
But it was Spencer I saw the most. He was closest to me on the other side of the door, and his face was a mask of apologies.
"You better say your goodbyes now, Agent, you're going to die in this room." The man sneered behind me. I felt a knife press to my stomach and I tried not to frown too much; I was wearing a bulletproof vest, this he knew.
In a heartbeat I brought my head forward slightly, spitting blood onto the floor by the old man's boots. He began cursing at me, but not before I snapped my head back and smashed it against his own.
We both tumbled to the floor with the impact and despite my swaying head, I was able to clamber on top of the man and force the knife out of his hands. I brought the gun out of my holster and pressed it to his temple.
"Tell me what your plan is," I demanded in a weak voice. He merely smirked.
"I said tell me what your plan is." I sneered, cocking the gun.
"You're not gonna want to do that." He said with a wicked smile. I frowned in confusion and he smiled wider, looking behind me to the door. With the gun pressed against his forehead now, I turned and looked to the door, looking above it and gasping as I saw what he saw.
There was a timer, counting down from three hours. I frantically looked around the room, and there, behind the papers the old man had knocked down as I'd kicked him, was a contraption of test-tubes and wires, all leading to a timer counting down from three hours also. I looked at my team beyond the door who were looking at me desperately. I opened my mouth to tell them but was interrupted by a few of them calling,
"Melanie the knife!"
In the same moment as I turned, I smacked the gun against the side of the old man's face and his hand fell to his side, the knife falling from his grip.
His head had lolled to the side and blood was coming from his mouth, his eyes were wide open.
I tried for a pulse but found nothing and winced, clambering off of him desperately and throwing myself against the back wall.
I dropped my gun and covered my face with my hands.
The Doctor
I followed Joyner along the corridor, opening each door and assessing it was clear before carrying on. She pressed her palm against the pad and the door at the end of the corridor opened. She swept it clear and holstered her gun, just as I was approaching the door.
The room she was in was bright with no lights; the walls painted white and the windows on each side painted over with white paint. The floor was tiled white and the perimeter of the room seemed to be stacked with papers and files.
I frowned, holstering my own gun in order to join her in the mysterious room, but not before the door slid closed in my face.
Sniggering I knew that was just the sort of thing to happen to me, and so I pressed my palm against the pad Joyner had and waited for the door to open. When it didn't I tried again, and panic began to seep in.
"GUYS!" I hollered, frantically pressing the pad and banging on the door to no avail.
"Reid, open the door." Joyner said calmly from inside the room. I looked up to see her standing there with a scowl and her arms folded.
"I-I can't," I stuttered. "It's not opening. I don't know what's happening." There was a pause before,
"I can't hear you, what're you saying?" I looked up at her frantically as she frowned down at me, taking a step closer to the door. Panic tore through me as the rest of the team ran to me and pushed me out of the way, pressing their palms against the pad.
"What's going on what happened?!" Hotch demanded. I couldn't do anything but stand there in shock.
"Guys that's enough open the goddamned door." She said angrily, standing on the other side with her arms folded in anger. I shook my head furiously, trying to get her to understand.
"Melanie this isn't us, we can't open the door." Emily said emotionally.
"What's going on, I can't hear what you're saying."
"It must be a one-way door, that room is soundproofed." JJ said in a tone drenched in dread.
My stomach flipped and I turned to stare at Hotch in desperation as he stood next to me directly in front of the door. The corridor we were in was narrow; perhaps only three and a half feet wide. Only Hotch and I were able to stand side-by-side comfortably in front of the door. The others were peering around or above us in desperation.
I did the only thing I could think of at that moment and reached for my mic.
"We can't open the door with the palm pad. The rest of the house is clear but we're going to have to blast it open."
Thankfully she nodded her head and took a step back. But that's when he came into view. I realised that from our position on this side of the door we couldn't see the rest of the room, and obviously, this is where the elderly man who I presumed was Doctor Ratchkins had been hiding out.
"MELANIE TURN AROUND!" I yelled, banging on the glass and waving at her to move.
"HE'S BEHIND YOU TURN AROUND!" The yells from the rest of our team were enough to deafen someone, but not Joyner as she frowned in confusion and began to turn slowly.
I watched the fight unravel, wincing and whimpering with each knock she received. She put up one hell of a fight, but it just reminded me of the times when I'd had to watch a woman take the brunt of the fight as I sat by and idly watched.
I turned to Prentiss with a sad expression and she gave me a sad smile, putting her hand on my shoulder, remembering the incident I remembered all too clearly.
"This is my fault." I told the team over Joyner's whimpers and cries of agony.
"No kid this isn't anybody's fault, we weren't to know he'd be in there." Morgan said from behind me.
"No, this is my fault. I should've had her back, I should've been right behind her when she entered that room." Hotch turned to me with a deep scowl and angry eyes, but he said nothing.
It was clear when the old Doctor was dead, and it was clear Joyner did not take pleasure in that fact at all.
Her hair was all over the place, her lip bleeding and her teeth covered in blood from her mouth. The left side of her face was swollen and red, and there was a small cut on her neck from where the Doctor had evidently pressed the knife a little too tight to her throat at some point.
Her knuckles were busted and bloody and shaking badly as she dropped her gun on the floor and pressed herself against the wall, sliding down to the floor and shaking.
"She's in shock, we need to get her out of there." Hotch said in a clear voice, trying to push down the corridor.
"Wait..." I said desperately, catching his arm before he could leave. It was more than just shock; she was terrified and none of us on this side of the door knew why.
"There's a bomb in here," She whimpered from behind her hands, slowly getting to her feet while cradling her left arm against her at an awkward angle and limping over to the door, climbing over the Doctor's body in order to do so.
"There's a timer above the door, and there's a bomb in the corner. It's just a bunch of test-tubes and wires, they're connected to the door and the windows." JJ and Prentiss cried out in horror and my breath left me all in the one gush.
She looked up and met my eyes calmly, hers shining tearfully.
"How long?" I asked slowly through coms and she looked up, wincing and looking away.
"Two hours and forty-five minutes." She said sadly.
"When she entered the room she must've activated the timer." Rossi guessed from the back of the group.
"We need to get her out of there. Now." Hotch said enraged, managing to push down the corridor.
The Daughter
I turned back to the glass to see the team dispersing and panic flooded through me.
I knew they had to get as far away from here as possible but the thought of being in here, alone, was terrifying.
"We have to get the bomb squad in." Reid explained through coms as he removed his bulletproof vest. I nodded my head, taking a step back from the glass and looking down at the body on the floor.
Groaning in disgust I took one of the dust sheets from a stack of boxes and threw it over his body, my arm aching as I did so.
When I looked back up at the glass, it was just Reid on the other side and I sighed, wincing as I pushed loose strands of hair out of my face.
"The good thing about this 'I-can't-hear-you' thing is that I can talk and you can listen and no matter how hard you try, you can't interrupt me," I smiled painfully at him and he sniggered, tapping his mic. Before he could say anything I interrupted with,
"Nope, coms don't count." He chuckled before nodding his head.
"So I'm going to just talk at you, and I suppose all you can do is listen," I shrugged, approaching the glass half-heartedly. "I'm sorry for not telling you about my name and past sooner," He began frantically shaking his head and reached for his mic but I lightly tapped the glass and smiled.
"Please let me explain before you decide to be a smart arse and use our coms against me," He stopped trying to interrupt and let go of his mic, folding his arms instead.
"Like I was saying, I'm sorry I never told you. But you have to understand that I didn't tell you because I was trying to protect you. All of you. The ghosts I have in my past are the kind that follow you into the future.
"So I guess I'm back to being Melanie now, and I'm kind of pleased by that. It's just a pity I wasn't able to be Melanie for a little bit longer before I was trapped in this bomb room but there we go," I sighed and shrugged. "I just suppose Melanie Joyner doesn't have much luck in the realms of people-trying-to-kill-her." I looked up at Reid and he was watching me with this emotional expression.
"You're not going to die." He said to me and I smiled tearfully.
"I admire your optimism, Spence, but let's be honest. I have..." I took a step back and looked up at the timer above the door before blinking rapidly and rubbing my eyes, looking up again and gasping. I turned to the old man on the floor to see him now curled in a ball beneath the sheet, dead.
"You old bastard!" I yelled, hurrying to his side and throwing him onto his back, seeing a device fall from his hand.
"What's wrong Melanie?!" Several voices called to me. He was well and truly dead now; there was an empty vial next to the device.
I turned to the bomb on the counter next to me and winced.
I hurried to the door and saw Hotch and an asian lady hurrying down the corridor frantically. I shook my head and threw my good hand up, waving.
"Ratchkins wasn't dead, he was able to half the detonation time and kill himself with poison. I have only an hour and fifteen minutes." Reid turned to Hotch frantically and I watched in dismay and terror as he took off down the corridor.
My stomach flipped at the sight of him leaving, but truth be told; I wanted him to leave. I wanted him to get as far away from this building as he possibly could. Because when that bomb went off; it was going to annihilate everything in it's path.
The Leader
"Get her out of there." Reid snarled at me before taking off down the corridor.
All three of us watched him leave and I swallowed the bitter taste in my mouth.
"What can we do for her?" I turned to Matilda and she sighed.
"With only an hour and no way in or out of that room, not a lot, Agent." She answered calmly. I nodded my head.
"I'd thought as much. But we at least have to try. What can we do for her now?" I asked, thankful that she couldn't her us unless we were using coms.
"The most you can do is just be here for her. She'll be terrified right now. But I can't advise anything unless I know what is in that room with her. If it's a chemical bomb then there's nothing that can be done unless there's a neutraliser in there with her."
"No, this man's too organised to leave a neutraliser lying around."
"Well then I'm sorry, Agent. But we have to clear the area and set up a perimeter."
"There's no hope," Melanie said as soon as Matilda had left. "Right?" I sighed and shook my head.
"That is not true," I lied through coms emphatically. "We are going to try everything to get you out of there."
"Thanks for being nice, but I know a lie when I hear one." She sniggered and I actually smiled. She looked up at me again and I shook my head tearfully.
"I've just found you and now I'm going to lose you again." I admitted through coms, knowing the rest of the team could hear also but not really worrying about that. She shook her head.
"This is why I never get close to people," She sighed. "It only sets you up for heartache... I'm sorry Hotch. For everything. I've led you into this mess, and now you have to get you all out."
"This is not a mess, we will fix this." She smiled and shook her head.
"There's no hope for me, I could read on her lips what that woman said. 'Just be there for her', yes because when your daughter is in a room with a chemical bomb, you're obviously going to want to be there to hold her hand when it detonates," She sniggered and rolled her eyes.
"You need to get everybody off the land and away from here. You don't have long to do that but you need to. It's the only way they're going to be safe. The idea of this bomb was to kill as many agents as possible. If you remove everybody you can from the area, then he'll only succeed with me."
"Only?" I almost-choked. "You're one of the most important of us all."
The Doctor
I burst out into the open desert and retched by the side of the house, feeling sick to my core.
I yanked the earpiece out of my ear so I wouldn't hear whatever lies Hotch told her.
"Spence!" JJ called, jogging up to me and putting a careful hand on my shoulder. I threw my arms around her and squeezed my eyes shut tightly. I didn't need to say anything for JJ to know what was wrong.
"It's going to be okay, Spencer." Emily said from JJ's side.
"Yeah. We're going to get her out of there."
I shook my head and took a step back from JJ, my palms beginning to sweat.
"Ratchkins wasn't dead. He halved the detonation time while we were standing there."
"What?!" JJ choked, frantically turning to Emily with wide eyes. I realised they too had removed their ear-pieces. Even though this was a dire situation, they were still giving Melanie as much privacy and dignity as possible. Which, granted, wasn't a lot.
"There's nothing we can do. There's no way to get her out of there and there's no way to get the bomb squad in." I said slowly as my mind began to come to terms with that.
There was silence as everybody accepted her inevitable fate.
*
The corridor had emptied when I returned to find Melanie sat cross-legged on the floor, cradling her badly injured arm, her forehead shining with sweat.
"I've already searched for a neutraliser," She said as she noticed me skewering the room behind her, observing the emptied drawers and upturned piles of papers and files. "All that's in here besides the bomb are papers and papers of theories and plots and conspiracies. There's no solution in here." She couldn't look me in the eye, not even as I sat down opposite her on the other side of the door.
I pressed my palm to the glass to let her know she wasn't alone because really, I had no clue as to what to say to her. When she looked into my eyes she smiled.
"You have to get out of here, Spence." She said in a sad tone.
"I'm not going anywhere," I told her, shaking my head. "I'm staying with you." She smiled and shook her head this time.
"You're crazy."
"If crazy means you're not alone, then fine, I'm it." She sniggered and blushed, looking down at her legs as she yanked at the neck of her blouse.
"Why is it always me that gets myself into these crazy situations?" She rhetorically groaned.
For the first time ever, it felt nice to just sit in silence and watch her, listening to her moan and groan and wince. She looked pretty beat-up, but she also looked magnificently beautiful.
The Daughter
Nothing much really happened. People came to see me and then they left, but Spencer consistently stayed with that little smile of his and his patience. It was a little hard to talk to anybody because of the coms which were growing weak because of the strained network and the vest but that didn't really make the tension go away.
"How long do we have?" JJ asked so quietly I could just about make out the question. I opened my mouth to reply after leaning back to check the timer, but Spencer bet me to it.
"Thirty-three minutes, twenty-two-point-one seconds." He blurted. JJ looked at me frantically and I nodded with a small smile.
Suddenly someone burst into the corridor and JJ and Spencer turned panicked to see Garcia running down the hall in seven-inch wedges, her blonde hair flying in every direction, the feather on the top of her head flopping comically. She pushed through JJ and flattened herself against the glass, her lips moving at an impeccable rate.
"Garcia..." I tried to interrupt but she continued hugging the glass and talking. "Garcia... Garci... Garci!" I yelled and she stopped talking and pulled back.
"I can't hear what you're saying." I said sadly, my eyes filled with tears. She said something else before remembering and stomping her foot impatiently, turning to Spencer and blurting something so fast he blinked up at her from the floor blankly.
I whimpered, throwing my head back into my hands.
Being able to see the people you love, but being unable to hear their comforting words in your hour of need was the worst torture imaginable. Ratchkins really knew what he was doing when he built this... cell.
"It's okay Melanie." Spencer's thick voice said quietly after a long moment and I sighed, looking up to see Garcia and Spencer smiling at me encouragingly, the pair of them sat cross-legged in the narrow space. Garcia was now wearing a vest with coms and JJ was now gone.
"I'm sorry, my attitude isn't helping." I apologised with a roll of my eyes. Garcia immediately started talking and shaking her head, pressing her palm to the glass with tearful eyes. I looked to Spencer desperately and he sighed, putting a hand on Garcia's arm.
She lowered her head and removed her glasses. Slowly I raised my palm to the glass and touched it where hers had laid. Seconds later she looked up at me with tearful eyes and a quivering bottom lip. Slowly, she pressed her palm to the glass where mine was.
I turned to Spencer and he smiled at me.
"She says she's too emotional to tell you this but your attitude is perfectly understandable under the current conditions." He explained through his mic and I smiled in thanks at Garcia.
"You're a fighter, and you're strong. And if anybody can figure a way out of this, you can. I'm sorry for how I reacted to you being... well, Melanie. But that's all in the past because I love you and I need you to come out of here safe..." I watched Garcia say these words and the tears fell from my chin.
"Don't cry." She said sadly and I smiled through my tears. This was all too real, too horrible, too dramatic. This kinda stuff only happened in movies or on TV. I wasn't meant to die in a room with a bomb while my friends and family stood outside after dramatically confessing how much they were going to miss me. That kind of stuff just didn't happen in real life.
Where was the reality?
I got to my feet, sniffing and turned my back on them both to wipe at my tears with my good hand.
It was this moment that changed everything.
As I was standing there with my back to the door, my head lowered with my eyes staring at the ground just by my feet, the corner of my eye caught something metal in my peripheral vision. Frowning in confusion I sniffed once more and turned, seeing the metal shining again from under the piles of papers.
"Melanie are you okay?" Spencer asked.
"Give me a second, I think I might have found something." I explained. I crouched down and crawled toward the papers so I was on the same level and roughly pushed them all away, seeing the tiny metal loop on the floor and frowning in complete confusion.
"What is it? what's wrong?" Garcia asked worriedly.
"There's a metal loop here on the floor, as though something was attached to it. Like a mini door knocker or something..." I mused.
"There's a rod on the counter over there," Reid said in a suddenly desperate tone. I turned to see him on his feet now too with Garcia next to him. He was pointing towards the window in the corner opposite the door and I got to my feet, moving my position and seeing what he saw in the corner.
"Will that help?" He asked. The rod was meant for hooking onto the top of windows in order to pull them up or down. I turned and grinned at Spencer as I nodded my head and said,
"I think it might do the trick." I then made my way across the mountain of papers, slipping on occasion before grasping the rod in my hands and jumping back down.
By this point, the entire team had gathered in the corridor in wonder and were staring intently at me as I crossed back to the metal loop.
"Make sure you don't hurt your arm even more." Hotch warned and I nodded my head.
"I'll be careful." I said.
Hooking the window rod onto the end of the loop I tugged and tugged, hearing the metal groan. Frowning I moved my position and began tugging in different directions.
"Be careful!" Garcia gasped.
It took a while but with plenty of encouragement from the team, the metal kinked and cracked, giving way to a metal trap-door leading underground to a bunker. I threw the metal door open, cutting and bruising my forearm in the process.
"There's a trap-door into a bunker!" I yelled to the others, knowing they'd be able to hear me. "I'm going under to check it out."
"Melanie be careful!" Morgan's voice overpowered that of the other's as I unhooked the rod and sat down on the floor with my legs dangling into the hole.
"I'll be fine, have a little faith." I called to them as I took my flashlight from my belt and flicked it on, directing it into the bunker below.
"What do you see?" Emily asked.
As I cast my torch across the sparse area I explained through coms rather than shouting.
There was a measly single bed with dirty sheets and a pillow. There was a small stack of three or four books with a bare lamp on-top. At the foot of the bed were a pair of shoes and on the floor by this was a pile of clothes neatly folded.
In the opposite corner was a rail of clothes, and on the walls were posters of the human anatomy and the solar system. I didn't need to go under to know that nobody was in that room; that's where Ratchkins had been hiding when I'd initially entered the 'cell'.
I sat there for a moment with my eyes closed, thinking back to the moment when I'd entered the room, right before I'd been attacked by Ratchkins. It was distant, but I vaguely remember an odd cranking noise coming from the corner of the room. But obviously, I'd been too wrapped up in the fact that I was locked inside to do anything about the odd noise.
"Are you okay?" Rossi asked before I clambered back to my feet and frantically ran back to the door.
"It's an underground bunker, it's where Ratchkins has been sleeping."
Spencer was grinning and speaking rapidly to the others without using his mic so I couldn't hear through coms. He wasn't looking at me; he was looking at Hotch who broke out into a grin at Spencer's words.
"What is it? What've you figured out?" I asked with a small smile.
"You can hide in the bunker when the bomb goes off." Spencer said with a broad smile. I bit my lip in wonder before their expressions cracked.
"I-I'm sorry, I just don't want to get my hopes up." I apologised to them. Spencer nodded his head and pressed his palm against the glass; a gesture that was as comforting as a hand on my shoulder. In fact, this very gesture made me feel comforted as if he'd done just that.
I lowered my head and sighed, pinching my nose. He didn't need to use coms for me to know that he'd just announced to everyone that I had only fifteen minutes left.
There wasn't any big good-bye or anything like that. Simply because the one-way door made that a bit difficult to achieve. More so with the staticky coms. But slowly one-by-one the team members left, hanging their heads and sniffing.
But I didn't feel too bad. It wouldn't be so difficult for them to get over this. I'd only been with them a matter of months, and in that time I'd hurt them more than comforted them. All of this; this was the biggest irony there was.
"I don't want this happening knowing what's just happened between us all." Spencer said to me in a small voice. Or maybe it was just small because of his sad expression at the bad coms.
"It's okay Spence." He shook his head.
"No... It's not... We've been horrible to you when all you've tried to do is protect us. I don't want you leaving us thinking we hated you." I smiled at his words and at that moment I wanted nothing more than to hear his beautiful voice in person, the way his accent hugged the ends of his words and the way his varied vocabulary made every sentence sophisticated; no matter how adorable.
I was thankful I could hear his words, but hearing what someone was saying, and hearing their voice, I only just now realised were two completely different things.
"Spence, there's only a few minutes left. You have to get back behind the perimeter now." I told him, sniffing and wiping the tears from under my eyes before he could see them. If he hadn't done so already.
"I don't want to leave you alone." He said with a petted lip, his eyes filling with tears.
"You have to. The team can't lose us both." I told him sternly. He wasn't aware of it but I could see Morgan approaching from behind, a saddened look on his face.
"I don't want to leave you alone." He repeated.
His chest convulsed and his head dropped and I knew he'd just let out a sob. The very image of Spencer Reid falling apart in front of me was heartbreaking, and suddenly I was thankful for the unreliable audio.
"You have to, Spence," I said in a soft voice. "I hate to do this to you." I mumbled. That's when Morgan approached and hooked his arms under Spencer's; yanking him to his feet and pulling him away. The sudden movement made his ear-piece fallout and he lost touch of his mic.
I didn't need to hear or see him to know the word he was repeatedly yelling, thrashing around in Morgan's arms.
The Doctor
"Morgan let me go! Let me go!" I yelled, thrashing in his arms, throwing him kicks and punches.
"A hand here guys!" He yelled over his shoulder as he pulled me out of the house.
"No! Please! I can't leave her!" I sobbed. "Please Morgan, not again, please, don't do this, please!" I cried as he and Hotch dragged me at a pace so rushed and hurried it was as if we were the ones trapped in a room with a bomb.
I couldn't help but see her face, broken and hopeless, so distraught and sad.
We all knew what was coming was inevitable, but it still made me want to fight, to smash the glass and get her out of there. But Ratchkins was insanely intelligent. We knew that if he told her not to use her gun, he'd have the entire room rigged for the blast.
We made it back behind the perimeter where there were emergency services already waiting in preparation with the rest of our team and the bomb squad. Garcia was crying in JJ's arms, Prentiss' arm around them both. Hotch was staring at the building with glassy eyes, his mouth covered as he stared at the place he'd last seen his own daughter.
"Hotch!" I gasped desperately. "Please we can't just leave her in there!" I gasped. "Please we have to help her!" I sobbed, but he didn't so much as blink at my words and kept staring at the building. Just then, something clicked in my brain. I realised with a stab it was my own internal countdown when the bomb went off.