"This cast fucking sucks," Jennie grumbled, as the doctor walked in.
"Hello to you too, Jennie." Jisoo bit back a smile, and Jennie rolled her eyes.
"Seriously, it's a pain in the ass. I used to be able to saunter. I used to be graceful. Girls used to stare at me when I'd walk past. Now they do, but only because they're afraid I'll fall into them or on my face. Again."
"So no improvement with the crutches from a couple days ago?"
"Ugh. I need to thank you from stopping me from falling on my face; you should just follow me around, catching me whenever I trip or stumble on these stupid fucking crutches."
The doctor laughed before leaning against the examination table that Jennie sat on top of. She pulled out the file and asked Jennie the standard questions and examined the cast and her leg. Jisoo stayed next to Jennie for the whole time, leaning into her a little. With Jennie leaning back against her arms on the table and Jisoo pressed into her side, it was almost like she tucked herself under Jennie's arm.
"So what's it looking like, cutie? How many more weeks of this shitty cast?"
"You're healing remarkably well. I've ordered some x-rays for next week – I'll be able to get a better sense then, but I have a hunch you'll be out of the cast soon!"
"Great. Even a bulky cast boot would be preferable to this," Jennie said, pointing at her leg. The doctor pushed off the side of the table and faced her.
"Well, Jendeuk," Jisoo said, shyly tucking her hair behind her ear, "if it makes you feel any better, if a girl who looked like you walked past me, I would definitely stare. Cast or not. See you next week, Jennie."
Jennie's heart gave a squeeze. Jisoo reached over and patted her arm, as usual, when Jennie grabbed her hand, stopping her.
"Wait. Coffee. Let's do coffee, like you said. As friends."
"We should. Definitely," she answered, brightly. "Text me."
-
They sat at a coffee shop a few days later.
Jennie shared a bit about her own life – she moved to Seoul to get away from her family (mostly her mother, she liked Jaebeom just fine) for her undergrad and had stayed since. Using some of the money her mom set her up with before (basically) disowning her, she'd been renting out her house, working at a bookstore, and going to school.
Jisoo told her more about her life as a doctor ("My mom died when I was a kid; that inspired me to become a doctor... Ortho kind of fell on my lap – I was originally thinking oncology, but it hit a little too close to home...").
She went to med school and completed her internship in different cities. She decided to move back a few months ago, to be closer to her father. Unfortunately, there were no full-time surgical residencies available at any of the nearby hospitals, so she took the position at the clinic. She was able to perform surgeries at the hospital – mostly on a consultancy basis with some of her patients or for the last two months, filling in on a vacation leave – but she was itching to get back in the O.R. more permanently.
The conversation was comfortable. Jisoo didn't seem to mind Jennie's general distaste for everything. She laughed at Jennie's snarky jokes, sometimes throwing Jennie off with her own wit. She reprimanded Jennie when she was too harsh, keeping Jennie on her toes. She listened when Jennie shared her frustrations about the situation – the injury, the pain, the crutches (Jennie didn't complain about their appointments though. She couldn't even complain as a joke). Jisoo was nothing but empathetic, encouraging, and helpful.
And learning more about Jisoo did nothing but affirm her interest in the woman. That said, Jisoo was quick to bring up – and continued to bring up throughout the non-date – that she was glad to have this 'friendship' with Jennie.
But Jisoo was way too interested in her. Her looks lingered too long to be considered just 'friendly'; she took every opportunity to hold Jennie's hand, squeeze her arm, push back her hair from her face.
At the end of the night, being forced to leave as the coffee shop was closing, Jisoo leaned in and kissed Jennie on the cheek. Jennie almost turned to meet her lips again. Something stopped her – something that didn't want to ruin this, something that didn't want her to be selfish and irrational.
But she went home wishing it were a real date.
-
Week three and it was torture. Not because of the cast (which was alright – she was finally starting to become more comfortable using the crutches). No, Jennie had perseverate on her 'friendship' with Jisoo all week. She hated it.
She was back at the clinic but wasn't there to see Jisoo. She had a meeting with the physiotherapist who she was going to start to see after they removed her cast, which she was hoping would be soon. She was waiting for the therapist in the physio room when Jisoo walked in with a person she had never met before.
"Hey, doc – did I get the dates mixed up or something?"
At this point she wouldn't have been surprised if she did. These feelings she had for Jisoo, which had been rapidly and embarrassingly growing, were highly distracting.
"Jendeuk – I mean, Miss Kim, no, you're at the right place. I just wanted to introduce you to my friend Chaeyoung," Jisoo said, happily. "They're your physiotherapist."
Chae (as they preferred to be called) and the doctor were close friends, Jisoo explained. She heard Chae was seeing Jennie today and wanted to stop by to say hello – and warn them about Jennie's infamous grumpiness, Jisoo said, with a glint in her eyes.
"Yeah, Dr. Kim has told me a lot about you, Jennie. Haven't you, Jisoo?"
"Chae, seriously?" She turned red.
"Yeah? It all started a couple weeks ago, you know, when we had the conversation where you said it was totally acceptable to force your interns to do your paperwork so you could hop back to the hospital to gawk at the 'super hot' woman-" Jisoo's hand clasped over Chaeyoung's mouth before they could continue.
"'Super hot,' cupcake?" Jennie grinned, feeling the heat rise up her cheeks, but enjoying the exchange between the two friends. This was doing incredible things for her self-esteem.
"Anyway, like I said, Chaeyoung will be your physiotherapist," Jisoo said through gritted teeth, embarrassed. She lifted her hand from Chaeyoung's mouth. They smirked at the doctor and nudged her and winked at Jennie. The doctor looked flustered.
"So, I have to go take care of some rounds because it's always good for doctors to keep consistent contact with their patients, obviously, and it gives the interns a break, which provides them the opportunity to strengthen their writing, which is important, especially with our very particular filing and paperwork system, which is why I encourage them to fill out mine sometimes, for no other reason other than that," she said, in one breath. "Okay, Chaeyoung?"
Chaeyoung responded by laughing. "Okay."
Jennie bit her lip to stop herself from laughing with Chaeyoung. She quirked an eyebrow at Jisoo, who nervously shrugged.
"Chaeyoung exaggerates. Right, Chaeyoung?" Jisoo nudged Chaeyoung and they grinned and nodded. "Jennie, I'll see you tomorrow – you'll be getting x-rays first, then I'll meet you for your appointment. Depending on how your x-rays go, I suspect I'm going to have some great news tomorrow."
Jisoo squeezed her arm and quickly left the room – not without (playfully) shooting an angry look at Chaeyoung on the way out.
Jennie watched Jisoo walk out and felt pretty good about herself. If Jisoo's attraction was clear to other people, it wasn't completely one-sided. Obviously Jisoo was far more interested in Jennie than she let on.
"Jennie," Chae said, snapping their fingers in front of her face. "Dr. Kim is long gone; you won't be able to see her through the walls."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Jennie bristled, embarrassed to be caught.
"Okay, lover girl, let's get this session started. I'm going to get you back to full strength so that when you're all healed and no longer our patient, you can run after Dr. Kim instead of creepily staring at her. By the way, she likes girls with an edge, which I can see that you have, clearly, with the way you're glaring at me and stuff."
"Bite me, Chaeyoung."
"We're going to get along great, Jennie," Chaeyoung said, genuinely.
Jennie couldn't help but smile back.
-
Jennie was at the clinic again the next day, waiting for Jisoo in the examination room. She was preoccupied with figuring out what to do with the doctor. Last night she had written out (and deleted) several texts to Jisoo, ultimately not sending anything to her. It was obvious that Jisoo was interested in her. Obvious. Jennie just didn't know how to proceed from here; Jisoo's insistence that they remain friends confused her.
She had just gotten new x-rays done; the technician hinted that she was healing quite well – he made a dumb joke about her having incredible healing strength, like she was super human or a vampire. (Jennie just stared at him blankly. She hated it when people thought they were funny.)
"Miss Kim, how are you?" Jisoo said, bursting into the room and closing the door behind her. She stopped next to the examination table and grinned.
It was like light filled the room; the doctor was stunning. Every time Jennie saw her, she took her breath away. She wondered how, how it was possible for a woman to be that beautiful. Really, Jennie was offended by her entire existence. She was a cliché – beautiful, intelligent, and headstrong. A doctor. A surgeon. It was offensive.
"Better now, cutie."
Jisoo rolled her eyes and muttered, "You are shameless, Jennie," loud enough for Jennie to hear her (and laugh), then opened her file. "Let's take a look at your x-rays..."
Inspecting the x-rays on the wall light box, Jisoo told her that the healing process was going well and that she could definitely remove her cast today. She would still have to wear a cast boot, which she could fit her for today, but that limping everywhere would probably be preferred to accidentally crushing people's toes with her crutches. Jennie was relieved.
Jisoo left the room to get a nurse and check the variety of cast boots available in storage for ones that would fit Jennie. She returned, pushing a cart full of cast boots that were around Jennie's size and with a man she introduced as Nurse Park.
"Legs up on the table, Miss Kim!"
The two made quick work of removing the cast. Jennie was repulsed when they removed it. In all fairness, Jisoo warned her – a month in a cast allowed for some nasty stuff to happen under there – but the doctor and the nurse continued on, it not being as big of a deal to either of them. The nurse left the room with Jennie's old cast to be discarded.
It felt so good for it to be removed. Jisoo delicately examined Jennie's leg. She winced; her leg felt foreign and weak.
"Looks great, Jennie. Your leg has healed nicely. And like I said before, you have a neat scar!"
"It looks gross." Jennie gagged. It really did.
Jisoo laughed. "Well, that's to be expected. But with Chae's help, your muscle tone will be back to normal in no time."
"I don't know how you do this, cutie," Jennie grimaced. "It's gross. I'm gross."
Jisoo rolled her eyes. She went over to the cart and busied herself with the various casts on it.
"Jennie, you're not gross at all. You look lovely, beautiful, really, as usual," she said absently, not paying any attention to Jennie's reaction – which she was glad for, as her cheeks felt warm and she had to bite her lip from smiling too broadly.
"You think I'm beautiful, cupcake? I mean, what is it, am I 'super hot' or 'beautiful'?"
Jisoo rolled her eyes. "Oh, Jennie..."
Jennie smirked. "'Oh Jennie!'" she teased, saying it way more sexually. "You're not the first girl to say that to me. Usually in very different circumstances, you know, after I finish and come back up from under the – "
The doctor held her hand up – "I'm going to stop you right there, Jendeuk," she said, turning red, but with a glint in her eyes.
Jennie shrugged teasingly. "Oops, sorry sweetheart. Did I say too much?"
Jisoo let out a hmph, turning back to the cart. She picked up a cast, looked at it closely and looked back at Jennie's leg. She put it back down, picking another instead and bringing it to Jennie.
The doctor slowly lifted Jennie's leg and slid the boot under her leg, checking if it would fit. Her leg barely settled before Jisoo, still so gently, removed it. She did this once more with another cast before shaking her head.
"No, that's not right either."
She went back to the cart and picked up another boot, something that was a little longer but less bulky.
"This is kind of like getting your wand at Olivander's," Jennie said. She cringed. She was a grown fucking woman who just made a Harry Potter reference to a doctor.
"The cast chooses the leg, Mr. Potter," She said seriously, before breaking out the brightest grin Jennie had ever seen in her life. Jennie's heart pounded in her chest; she hoped Jisoo wouldn't notice. She couldn't remember ever smiling as much as she had in the last few weeks in her life. Jisoo just...brought this out of her.
She had to do something about it.
Jisoo settled Jennie's leg into the boot and seemed satisfied, strapping her leg in.
"Looks like it fits."
Jisoo showed Jennie how to correctly put on the cast and helped her walk around the room a few times, to make sure her legs were strong enough to support her weight. She ran though some important information now that her plaster cast was removed.
"And how's the pain been?" Jisoo asked, as Jennie sat down on a chair next to the examination table.
"About 4. Off and on; not as bad as it used to be, but that could be because you're here with me."
"I've been told that my presence has healing effects on broken bones," Jisoo replied, dryly.
"You're easily the only woman in the world who claims to not find me charming and irresistible."
"It's not a claim," Jisoo said. "It's true. Maybe that's why I've been brought into your life, Jendeuk. I'm here to remind you that you're not that great."
Jennie raised her eyebrows and looked at Jisoo – really looked at her. She was red (Jennie noticed she was usually blushing at any given time when she was around). She was smiling. Her eyes looked warm, if not a little challenging.
She wanted to look at that face forever.
"Anyway," the doctor said, finishing writing in Jennie's file, "it looks like we're done here."
Jennie swallowed, her mouth feeling dry. She took a deep breath and stood up. "I guess I'll see you here in a few weeks, doc?"
"Four weeks! You're on your way to full recovery, Jendeuk."
Jisoo reached forward, and as usual, squeezed her arm. Jennie, feeling bold, leaned forward and pressed her lips to her cheek, lingering closer to the corner of Jisoo's mouth than she intended. When she finally did pull away, she saw Jisoo's eyes flutter open, a wistful expression on her face.
"We should hang out again," Jisoo said softly.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." Jisoo paused, before continuing, "In the name of maintaining friendships, we should hang out." She dropped her hand.
Jennie winced, and with a little bite, she answered, "Friends. If you say so."
"Jendeuk..." Jisoo looked so torn, and so beautiful, Jennie was starting to feel like it was necessary for her own sanity to just fuck it all and go for it. She always got what she wanted; she never had to 'work this hard' to get attention from anyone she was interested in. The chase was fun, but she wanted more. She needed more.
She sighed, and shook her head at herself, clinging to whatever self-respect she had left.
"It's fine, cupcake. Text me." She leaned forward, quickly kissing Jisoo's cheek once more before walking out of the room.
-
"Maybe you're just into her 'cause you can't have her," Lisa said, through a mouthful of Jennie's fries. Jennie pushed the plate towards Lisa, letting her finish off the last of them.
A week after her appointment, Jennie and Lisa sat by the windows at a pub near her place. Jennie made the mistake of telling Lisa about her current 'situation' with the doctor, and Lisa was insistent they discuss her 'problem' as soon as possible, with shitty food and alcohol.
Jennie shrugged. "I don't know, I thought about that, and I'd agree but you saw her. She's so fucking cute, I have two reactions when I see her: I want to fuck her and I want to mock her. So I do the latter, hoping that it won't fuck up my chances to eventually do the former."
Lisa gagged then took a swig of her beer. "Don't be gross."
Jennie chuckled, sipping own drink.
"I just – I don't know what to do. You've had a million girlfriends and boyfriends," Lisa scoffed but nodded, 'cause, yeah, she dated a fair amount, "is it always this hard to like someone?" Jennie cringed over her words; it was so juvenile to describe her feelings that way.
Lisa's eyebrows shot up. "Wow, are you actually experiencing real, human emotions, Jennie?"
"Shut up, Limario."
"This is incredible," Lisa said, looking impressed. "You are actually interested in someone. This is huge."
"No it's not." Jennie blushed and bit her lip to stop the smile from creeping onto her face. She knew she was doing a terrible job when Lisa's face lit up.
"Ha! You are. You're smitten. It's weird!" Lisa laughed. Something past Jennie distracted Lisa. She smirked. "Well, what are the chances? Speaking of the devil – isn't that Dr. Kimchi?"
"What?" Jennie quickly turned around in the booth to see Jisoo walking into the restaurant. She didn't realize she was still grinning until she got reason to stop, when the woman behind Jisoo reached forward and took her hand in hers.
Then she felt her stomach drop when Jisoo pressed a quick, chaste kiss on her lips.
Jisoo kissed someone else. Jennie was overwhelmed with a need to hit, to yell, to pitch a fit. She clenched her jaw.
"Shit, I think she's on a date. Shit, Jennie." Lisa sounded sympathetic. Jennie felt shame bubble over in her over the tone of Lisa's voice.
The pair walked towards the back of the pub near them and Jennie quickly turned around, ducking her head.
"Shit. Did she see us?!"
"No, she didn't, it's fine. They're on the other side of the room."
(Oh god. I'm an idiot. I'm a fucking idiot.)
Sweet, loyal Lisa hunched over in her seat. Jennie felt herself regress and place blame. If she couldn't lash out at Jisoo, Lisa was a good enough target.
(Jisoo's on a date. She has a fucking girlfriend.)
"Why the fuck did I have to be out with you, Gigantor? You're like a big red flashing sign."
Jennie briefly looked over at Jisoo and her date. They were sitting next to each other, not at all in view of Lisa and Jennie. Jisoo rocked forward, laughing at whatever the woman said. Jennie seethed and faced Lisa.
(I've been throwing myself at her, and she's probably been laughing at me with her fucking girlfriend this entire time.)
"Dude, relax," Lisa said, eyebrows furrowing. She threw her hood up, seemingly trying to appease Jennie.
"Oh, you put your hood on, wow, you're basically invisible, Hagrid, great job," Jennie bit.
(Of course she wasn't interested. I'm a joke. I'm a fucking joke.)
Lisa flinched. "Hey, I'm trying to be helpful - "
"I should make my fucking friends pass a height requirement. Do you understand how hard it is to be seen around you? People stare; you look like a freak show exhibit. People probably think your parents were cousins."
(Why didn't she fucking tell me?!)
Lisa sank further in her seat but glared.
"Jennie, shut up. I get that you're pissed, but don't be a dick to me just because your crush has a girlfriend."
Jennie heard Jisoo's laugh cut through the air and she flinched.
(Fuck.)
She gulped down the last of her beer and pulled out her wallet, throwing down enough money to pay for Lisa's meal too. She hoped Lisa would take it as an apology.
"Whatever. Let's just get out of here." She looked over – they say pain is character building, and this moment she felt it in spades. Jennie recognized the shy smile Jisoo was giving her date. She had received it a few times. "While she's distracted."
The two shuffled out; Jennie was glad she had the cast boot on instead of the crutches. They afforded her a little bit of stealth. Lisa used her height to her advantage and blocked Jennie from their view. She looked over briefly; Jisoo didn't even look up. She didn't notice her at all.
She was too engrossed in her date.
Jennie felt sick.
When they reached outside, Lisa put her hand on Jennie's shoulder. "Hey, are you going to be okay?"
Lisa looked worried and sad for her, which made Jennie feel pathetic. She was pathetic. Her and Jisoo were nothing. Nothing.
Jennie cleared her throat, dismissively. "Yeah. Whatever. It's no big deal."
Lisa probably knew not to press the issue further; she nodded.
Walking home, she didn't bother putting her coat on, letting the cold air distract her from thinking about the doctor. It wasn't until she got home when she realized her leg was killing her. She walked straight to her couch and fell onto it.
How fucked up was she? She wasn't even in a relationship with the woman, but she felt angry, and possessive, and betrayed. She was so upset that she didn't even realize that she could barely stand; the pain in her leg was too much.
Well. I guess she really did want to fucking be my friend, she thought, grimacing as she took her cast off to rub her leg.
She thought back to all their interactions – moments that Jennie had obsessed over for the last couple months and decided two things.
One: she was an idiot. She had this coming, falling for someone over nothing. She knew the doctor wasn't interested in her that way, yet she willfully chose to ignore everything Jisoo said about how she felt about her.
This was her own fucking fault.
Two: Jisoo led her on. Jennie was shameless, unabashed with her flirting and innuendos. And she did nothing to stop her. Not really. She had every right to be fucking pissed at Jisoo.
She was going to focus on point two rather than point one. It hurt less to blame Jisoo than it did herself.