It's been about seven months since Seokjin and I started our break. Things have honestly gone quite smoothly. I've managed to go back to school and catch up on all the work I missed, I've even managed to earn back a spot on the swimming team, albeit that I'm not allowed to participate in any competitions. I feel pretty great overall. Slowly but surely my heart has been healing with me. All seven of us still live together in the upstairs apartment and because of that I've been able to see Seokjin every day in a more healthy manner.
He seems to be doing better and better too. After my collapse, he quit his job and since then he's been working his butt off to start his own café. It opened it's doors for the first time a couple months ago and it's been doing fairly well so far. I try to help out whenever I can, but Seokjin only allows me to be there for about 30 minutes before he forces me to go home again in hopes of me not getting too tired. I worry about him being there on his own sometimes, but he's a strong person and I know he can take care of himself.
For the first time in my entire life, I can confidently say the same about myself too. I can comfortably stand on my own two legs without relying too much on someone else. Sure, I'm still financially unstable, but at least I've achieved the mental stability that I've desperately needed for so long. I love being with Seokjin and the other guys, but I realize now that I'm fine being on my own too. I don't need anyone's approval. All that matters is that I can be proud of myself. And I am. I've come a long way and I've learned from my mistakes. Namjoon said it was important to love others, but I need to love myself too. He was right of course. Living your life for someone else won't get you anywhere. Putting myself first has made me stronger than ever and when the day comes for me to get back together with Seokjin, I know I can be a good partner to him.
I smile to myself at the thought of officially being with Seokjin again. I know I see him and talk to him every day but I really miss the closeness we used to have. But even though I miss him, I feel like we've somehow gotten to know each other better this way. It's like we don't take each other for granted anymore.
I hear the sound of the front door opening and I take a peek around the corner in the living room to see who it is. As I expected, it's Seokjin who's back from working at the café. He immediately notices me and greets me with a nod. He has a couple grocery bags with him, so I decide to help him out by carrying one them to the kitchen while he takes his shoes off.
"JK, it's fine," he says. "Don't overwork yourself."
"Hyung, please, I'm feeling better than ever. I can handle carrying some food."
He enters the kitchen after me and I can feel his eyes on me while we start unpacking. I've worked up some more muscle these past months and it doesn't go unnoticed how he ogles me from time to time. My formfitting white t-shirt is doing me a favor right now.
"So, how did your training go today?" he asks.
"It went great. I'm starting to catch up with the others again. Soon I might be allowed to enter some competitions."
"That's good. So long as you're not pushing yourself too hard. I remember how you said you used to cough blood because of your training before."
"Don't worry, it's not like that anymore. It's all within reason. How was work?"
He shrugs.
"Fine. Although I guess something interesting happened."
"What?"
"Some dude came by and wanted to buy the entire business. He said the café is in a good location and that if I work with him we can make three times the profit. Gave me a pretty good deal on it."
"...And?"
He chuckles.
"I turned down the offer of course. I've worked hard to have things the way I want them, and I'm not gonna let some stranger come and change things. I've just barely managed to hire my second employee, so how profitable could the café really be? He probably just wanted the building for something else."
"Hmm, perhaps. But it's still impressive that you've gained the attention of businessmen like that. Maybe they can see the potential of the café becoming a huge success."
"If so then I want to capitalize on that success on my own. My business my money."
He sassily throws the grocery bags in the trash and I can't help but to chuckle a little at him.
"Nonetheless, I'm proud of you, Hyung. You've worked hard. If my Olympic dreams don't become a reality, then I want you to hire me."
I ruffle his hair and he immediately looks at me with big eyes. I didn't think before doing that and I realize now that this might be the first time in months that I've touched him in any way. I remove my hand and seemingly he catches himself with staring and quickly looks away.
"Yeah, um... thanks," he says in response to my words earlier. "I'm proud of you too, JK."
"Thank you. I'm happy to hear that. I've always wanted to someday become a man you can be proud to call yours."
He glances at me once more and and I don't really know why I said that last part. We're supposed to be friends! But even so it's hard to contain my feelings for him. He smiles at me and I feel my face blushing when he carefully touches my cheek.
"I've always been proud to call you my own," he says in a soft voice. "My goal now is to become someone you can be proud of too, not just because I'm a pretty face, but because I've achieved something all by myself against all odds."
Of course I'd love him even if we were homeless and broke, but I've learned that self-love is an important part of a relationship too. If it's what he needs to feel comfortable then I'll do what I can to cheer him on.
"I'm sure the café will continue to thrive, Hyung. After all, you're the boss. I know what it's like working with you and you are about as strict as they come."
"Aside from when we were making out behind the counter. But that's an exception I only make for you."
"Right, aside from- wait what?"
He just winks at me and walks away with a smile on his pretty lips. I wasn't sure he remembered that. Well, of course he does. But why would he mention it...?
"Are you flirting with me?!" I yell after him and I hear him sigh from the hallway.
"Use your head, JK."
Nope. Using my head is what gets me into trouble. Although, considering the conversation we just had, I'd assume he was flirting with me. Also, he's my mate so it'd make sense if he'd want to flirt with me. Thinking about it gives me butterflies. Gosh, I love this man so much. I hope he starts flirting with me more.
⩶ΑβΩ⩶
The evening eventually turns into night and I spent the entire time glued to the couch watching a drama with Jimin and Hoseok. The others have all either gone to sleep or are holed up in their rooms doing something else. I'm starting to get a bit tired myself, but it's the last episode of the season, so I force myself to stay awake.
Suddenly the door to Seokjin and Yoongi's room opens and Seokjin emerges while his eyes scan every corner of the apartment. I watch him as he walks into the kitchen, lifting every little thing on the table and benches to see if there's something hidden underneath. He makes quite the ruckus and Hoseok eventually tears his eyes from the TV.
"Are you looking for something?" he asks.
"Yes, my phone. It's been missing for a while now."
"Where did you see it last?" Jimin chimes in.
"I don't remember. I can't recall if I even brought it with me home."
"Want me to call it?"
"Please."
Jimin dials Seokjin's number and we all remain silent in hopes of hearing something, but there's no sign of his phone. Seokjin sighs and sits down next to me in the couch. He slouches in defeat.
"I give up. I must've left it at the café. Either that or the supermarket, but I can't remember having it there either. I need it to check my schedule for tomorrow."
I carefully rub his shoulder to calm him down and thankfully it helps a bit. His scent that's usually hidden underneath his scent-blocking soap smells calming now.
"We can go look for it," I suggest.
"JK, it's past midnight already. I can't go out now."
"Not alone, but I'll be with you."
He considers it for a second before nodding. I take his hand and help him up from the couch. It feels so warm and small in my own. Not that he's small by any means, it's just that I'm pretty big. I lead him to the door and it's oddly exciting to be going out with him like this. A midnight adventure of sorts. Maybe even... a date? I glance at Seokjin as he gets ready to head outside and our eyes eventually meet as he feels me staring at him.
"What?" he asks.
"I like you, Hyung."
He obviously gets flustered by the sudden affection and shyly hits my arm.
"Why are you saying that all of a sudden, you idiot? The others can hear you."
"They already know I like you though."
"Yes, but it's embarrassing to act like that in front of them. Let's just go."
He grabs my hand and drags me with him out the door. Embarrassing or not, it feels nice to declare my feelings for him out loud. Today has been a good day. Maybe it's about time I suggest ending our break. I think I'm ready. But first thing's first, we need to find his phone at the café.