The next week I went to a home parish to talk with my pastor
I walked
Good morning Austin
Hi I'm here to let your know I'm Trans
You trans
Yes
I'm sorry but you kicked out
I'm baptized in the church
Sorry
Just great
I went back to school planned an evil act upon the church
I found a glass vase I was going to throw it in the crowd at my church is this evil it does not consider evil when you hurt the person opening-up
Saturday morning mass was packed ever, Grandma and grandpa was their, and family
I snuck up to the choir loft right during communion I threw it the sheer deafening screams from the crowd they feel the pain but also I just hurt a ton of people
I heard people walking up I hid in the closet
The man who in charge of maintenance of the Church
Why you hiding in here
I got lost
You did this didn't you hurt people
Yeah
He walked me down to the main level
I found are us a culprit
Austin why would you do such a thing
I was hurt by the way you rejected my gender
Clean up I'm done with you call her family
I say in the pews a d cried
After an hour my family showed
My heart was pounding
Austin would like to tell what happen or do you want me to do it
You can
She thew a glass vase which shattered and injured people
Why would you that
I don't know
You do know to stop saying your doing know
Then I looked back at the back of the church my teacher was standing there
Where the I don't have family comes in
It not what looks like
It looks like your lied to me
I didn't lie to you
Okay sure who all these people
My family
You told you were homeless you told me your didn't have a loving family
Well I guess
You lied
You haven't meet my wrath
He stomoted away
Once again you tell a lie so you can get what you want
Shut up Zachary
Why should I believe you can't even keep your month close in the first place
Pastor do you have anything to say
I'm shocked at what I'm witnessing but also not surprise like for the example surprise party wasn't a surprise you told me
That was a long time a ago stop bring things up that already happen
It true though
I left the church and I walked all the way to my house and I cried myself to sleep
On Monday I went to the school and I saw most wanted poster
Most wanted for lying
I took it crumpled it up and my face turned beat red
I went to franey
I'm sorry you kicked out of the play
This is bullshit
I didn't make the decision
I ran up the stairs
I busted my theology teacher door down
What the fucking is going on
Wow back up
You made me lose my spot in the play
I'm sorry I didn't lie to my school
Wow you did this on purpose do you like me
I do if you just don't lie to me
Wow the only reason I got that part was because I'm the only boy of the school we're doing Dear Evan Hansen as the play
Oh okay good luck
Thank you
I went and put my strip shirt and wrap my arm in cast
I stood behind the doors nervous
In 321
Have you ever felt so alone but no one noticed you my names is Evan Hansen this how my lie caused one of my closest friends to commit suicide.
I looked through the crowd I saw my dad
I just froze in place
You okay
Austin
I tense up
My teacher step in front of my dad
I suggest your leave it goes badly
No let me talk to my son
Okay
Austin
He inches forward
Get away from me
He handed me check
This money is for your transition surgery. After hearing what your classmate thought of you
How does mom feel
I'm fine honey
My dad handed me a teddy bear
I pressed it was my mother heart beat
Where is this mother heart beat
Your mom dead
You tell me now
What do you expect
I don't know
Good bless of fucking America do you really I want to know when I'm about to do the most important play of my life
Good luck
You know I'm done you wanted me off the cast this whole time I ran off the stage with tears streaming down my face
Hey
Get away from
Don't push me away
Oh like you not doing the same father I'm trans you need to accept I'm different
I know i messed up but come back home with me
No I'm sorry that house is a dangerous horror movie and you live there I can't even look at you I only see a dangerous devilish person who cares enough to love me and accept me
Sweetheart you are great
Why didn't you tell me this when you were abusing me how is that love
I was stupid
How am o supposed to know you probably going to stab in the heart again because I mess every fucking day
You not mess up
You make me think with your abuse of me so why acting so sorry when I know you aren't sorry
I'll change
How do I know you'll change dont verbal abuse me just because you god damn well you aren't going to change you never will so just go leave me I have someone to go to
Who you replace me
Yes I did because I couldn't fucking trust me
Who the fuck is this guy
He a teacher and it non of your fucking business
It is you my daughter
I was your daughter until you started abusing me
Tell who he is now
My father grab my wrist
Tell me now
I'm good
He shoved me into the wall
I thought you changed
As he pinned my teacher knocked as fucking as off and I fell to the ground in tears
Hey it okay
No it not
It is
I'm done I ran to the nearest bridge and stood on the edge and jumped off the bridge and landed on the water so hard like concrete my body floated to the shore faced down
I used the last of the strength I had to climb the shore
Someone called the police and I woke serval hours later in the hospital
Where am I
The hospital the nice nurse said
Why
You tried taking your life
Oh no
Do you have someone for us to call
My School
Do you have a parent
I shakily handed my mother number
Hello
Hi is this Mariah
Yes this is she
Hi I'm a nurse at a hospital your daughter tried taking her life
Omg I'm on my way
See you there
Bye
Your mother will be here very soon
Thanks
Will you call this number
Who is this
My school
Yes Of course
School POV
This prep High
Hi my name is Katie I'm nurse at Mount hospital
Okay
I'm here to tell you Austin attempted suicide
Thanks
I dropped the phone
I ran to the hall everyone at the assembly my heart racing five thousands miles per hours
I went to the teacher
Please come with me
What happening
I just got a call that Austin attempted suicide
Yes serious
Yes
Now what
Where her father
In prison
You put her father in jail
What was I supposed to do she was begin abused and non of you guys believe me or her
You took her father away from her
I was protecting a student from begin potentially killed thank you very much
Let go past that what do we do with this her dad prison she in the hospital
We need to tell the school
No don't
Why
She did this attempt for what I presumed from when I punched her father for abusing her
You saved her from her father but couldn't prevent this horrific thing that happen
I'm sorry but I did protect and serve
Let's go another suicide attempt
Attention one of our student attempted suicide if you know anything please come talk with the grief conselor thanks
Back at the hospital
Oh baby
Mom
Hi baby girl
My mon hugged me
You feeling better
Great awesome amazing
You hiding your true feelings
I'm miserable and feeling pulled by people
Pulled by who
My father that bastard monster who didn't believe me and left right when he started abusing me
Sweetie I would never leave you
Well you did you left me and my mon
Austin I left because I couldn't handle the stress of your father
Why did you take me or my sister to safety you only cared about yourself mom you self centered bitch
Hey stop screaming
I will not stop voicing my own opinion I was sexually abused by my own father who should love you let happen did you and you loved you don't care that I'm struggling with my sexuality and my mind dosent make my private part you think I'm perfect deep inside I'm heart broken person
Austin I'm your mother I loved you but I'm you are not trans
I'm a girl my name is Anna but no one gives shit a mother should love and support not bash them for what a different brain
No you not stop begin crazy lunatic you are not and stop going to the slut school who corrupt you into thinking of different gender
My sister is the best mother I have you are the worst
The only fucking reason why you don't understand because you been married to that fucking lunatic monster asshole
Don't you ever talk about your father that way
He a pain in the ass who dosent love the family
She left
Hey great for the support
Fuck me I screamed
My doctor walked in
You free to go
I ran to my school
I broke in
Why are you here I thought you were in the hospital
I was but I left because my mom visited me and told the truth she manipulates my father to abused me so she get his money
You telling your dad actually loves you
Yes
Where is he
He in prison
What
It kinda the teacher job
The teacher job to rat her family out you have just stirred the pot of boiling revenge
What you taking about
Miss treating me
I have nothing but show you love at this school I paid for your transition money out of my pocket don't you dare say it my fault he in prison
Will help me get him out
Sure why not