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"You need to go back," Changbin said behind me.
Minho didn't answer my question and just continued to stare at me, Changbin, then back at me. I sighed, taking that as a no. No one had given him food.
"Could you please ask Mina to give a patient in room number 4 food, please?" I said to my boyfriend.
Changbin looked pretty surprised that I asked him to do that but then sighed in defeat. "Fine." He said before eyeing Minho and finally left the room.
"He's right. You should focus on yourself first. I—"
"Save it. I'm only doing this so you can get out of here as soon as possible. For the last time, you won't be staying here." I cut him off.
Minho then didn't reply anything afterward. I leaned on the wall next to the door and breathed in.
Then the door swung open forcefully. Judging from it, I was guessing it was Chan. And I was right.
Chan found me next to the door.
"Come with me, we need to talk." He immediately said.
"If it's gonna be another one of your lectures, forget it." I said, without looking at him.
Chan breathed in. "Please. It's important." He said, weirdly, in a calm manner.
The sudden change of character got my attention so I followed him outside of Minho's room.
Chan turned around to face me as soon as we were outside.
"What is it—"
I stopped in mid-sentence, surprised that he suddenly pulled me into his arms.
"Felix told me what happened." He said softly. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Chan." I said in his chest.
Chan pulled away, "let me handle him," I believe he was referring to Minho. "You don't have to deal with him, I'll bring him back to the HQ. JB, and I will handle it."
"No, Chan." I closed my eyes. "You don't understand. He had a choice to leave me there. He had a choice to also leave me swarmed by the infected and leave. But he didn't."
Minho was starving. He could've left me with the infected and get away with the elk that could last him for days. He carried me back to the town in time. So I feel like I owe him.
"Well, what do you suggest we should do with him?" Chan demanded. "We got nothing out of him despite all the torture. We know nothing about the guy except that he was in the army."
"Let him go." I suggested.
Chan's eyebrows knitted together and stared at me with confusion. "You know that's never going to happen. None of the other leaders would approve that. It's too risky."
"That's the least that we can do to repay him for what he's done."
"Letting him go would put the whole town at risk, Nana. We don't know if he's from a larger group. We don't know if he is a spy."
I wanted to say that no, he is not a spy, but then I got nothing to support my argument. Because the truth is, I know nothing about him too.
"Look, I might not have a strong proof that he is alone, but he told me that he is. He said he was the only one left—"
"He told you all of that?" Chan's eyebrows knitted together.
"Yes, and I... I have to believe him. That's the least that I could do for what he's done for me." I said, avoiding his eyes.
"You know it yourself," he said softly, "that the others would never approve of that. No one who comes here gets out. It's either they stay, or..."
Die. They're gonna kill him.
"We can make an exception for this one." I said my voice was barely audible.
"No," Chan raised his voice, probably tired of me, then he sighed. "We can't."
"He can't stay." I said.
"I know that." Chan looked at me with concern.
He understood why letting him stay was not an option.
"Let me see what I can do." Chan said. "But in the mean time please take care of yourself, okay?"
I nodded. Chan leaned in, kissed my bangs, and ruffled them before walking away.
I brushed my bangs back to their place and went back to Minho's room.
"Was that your brother?" Minho asked as I closed the door behind me.
I didn't answer him.
"We will try to talk to the others into letting you go." I said. "I'll also give you any supply that you want."
Minho stayed silent at that.
After making sure they gave Minho something to eat, I left him and went back to my room with Changbin.
"I'll ask them to move you to a private room," Changbin said.
He was about to walk away and leave me but I grabbed his wrist to stop him.
"No need for that. I'm fine with the shared room." I said.
Because there were people who need them more than I did.
Changbin sighed in defeat and we proceeded to go back to my shared room.
~
Two days later, Changbin helped me to go eat breakfast at the diner with the rest of the guys.
"You look..." Seungmin stared at me with impassive eyes, "fine."
I smiled at Seungmin and shook my head, "what am I supposed to look like then?"
"I don't know," Seungmin shrugged. "sick? Hurt? You literally got impaled."
"Well, I heal fast." I smirked.
We all finished our breakfast and were talking to each other. But just mostly me trying to catch up on what I've missed for the past days.
"Yeah, Changbin was too eager to see you that he went back super early yesterday after our patrol." Han said.
Then we looked over to Changbin who was sitting next to me, waiting for a reply.
Especially me.
Because he certainly didn't show up the whole afternoon, when they got back from their patrol, until before dinner. He showed up for an hour and left to eat dinner.
And he never came back after that either.
Changbin still hadn't responded. He was then looking at something else.
I followed his gaze.
It led me to Hyerin.
I didn't want to believe it at first but there was nothing for him to look at other than a few old men and Hyerin, who was sticking her bump up as she was leaning on the bar talking to someone.
I took Changbin's palm and squeezed it a bit too hard to get his attention.
Is he...
Changbin winced in pain and glanced at me immediately.
"Uh, right. I did." He lied and gave out a smile.
I really didn't know how I should handle this. If I asked him would it be too much? I didn't want to seem possessive. But I know one thing for sure. I don't like how they're acting toward each other.
~
After breakfast, Felix and I went back to the clinic. Felix has now started to work here with us during his spare time. Because of my condition I was not fit for my usual job tending people, but instead, I was doing an inventory of all our medical supplies and equipment that we currently had. And I was glad I had Felix with me to do this.
"Nara?" I heard Felix called.
"Yeah?" I looked up from my clipboard.
"I asked what are these?" Felix held up a bunch of small containers.
"Oh— naloxone," I said.
He then proceeded to label the containers.
"Are you doing okay?" He said as he was writing on the container.
"Yeah." I shrugged it off and counted for the latex glove boxes.
"What's on your mind?" He asked. "You zone out way too much today."
"It's nothing," I said.
"If you don't feel well I can get Lia to help me instead." He stood up from the floor.
"I said I'm fine, Lix."
"You know you can always tell me anything, right?"
I sighed and closed my eyes. "I know."
"So... what is it?"
"I don't even know how to explain it."
"Well, you can start by summarizing it and then elaborate." Felix said.
I don't know if I should tell him. I could be overreacting. I don't want to accuse anyone of anything, especially cheating.
"No," I said. "I might be reading into it too much. It's probably nothing."
Felix put down his clipboard and walked over to me, pulling my clipboard from my hands. "Tell me, maybe I can help. If it's nothing it won't bother you this much. I know you."
My eyes felt warm and I quickly wiped away tears that fell down. "I think Changbin is cheating on me." I said hoping he could hear it.
Those words felt heavy. Saying that felt unreal. I couldn't believe I just said that. I held my mouth, feeling guilty that I just accused my boyfriend without any hard proof.
Without looking at Felix, I expected a response right away. I wanted him to tell me, No, Changbin is not that kind of guy. No, it's probably nothing. No, he will never do that to you.
I waited and waited, but there was still no response.
I took a glance at him. Felix was just standing there, avoiding having eye contact with me.
"What?" I took a shaky breath, "you knew about this?"
"Huh? No." Felix quickly defended himself and looked at me in confusion. "No, it can't be. Are you sure? What made you think like that?"
I looked away from him. Kind of relieved. But my eyes stung again, "I'm scared, Felix." I mumbled. "I don't know what to do. What if he really is..."
"No," Felix said. "Come here,"
He opened up his arms at me and I quickly went into them.
"Don't worry about it too much, okay? Changbin really loves you. There's no way he would do such a thing." Felix said.
But why did he sound like he was convincing himself more than me? He sounded like he wasn't sure of what he was saying.
~
When I woke up, I was glad to be back in my own room again.
I looked over to my window and realized that the sun was up. I had overslept again.
I heard a loud knock on the front door. That was probably why I had woken up. I grunted before I dragged myself to see the guest.
Who could it be? Couldn't be Changbin, way too early for him. Maybe it was Chan, since I basically lived in his backyard.
I took a peek through my window and I was right.
I unlocked my door, "hey." I greeted him. Hugging myself from the cold breeze.
Chan leaned forward and pulled me into a hug. "Feelin' better?"
"Yeah," I said and pulled away from him. "How's Minho doing?"
Chan didn't seem too happy when I ask that, "JB and the others want you with us in the meeting. Meet you in the HQ in an hour."
It didn't sound like it would be a good happy meeting judging from his look. Nonetheless, I nodded and started to get ready.
I got to the HQ way before the meeting started, and met Yeji on the way. We greeted each other with a warm hug.
"How are you doing, Nara?" She asked me with a smile as we walked together to the HQ. "I heard something happened to you outside the border."
"Uhmm," I lowered myself in embarrassment. "I got into a little accident. But I'm okay now."
"I'm glad you're doing fine. You look amazing today by the way." Yeji smiled again.
I thanked her and smiled back. I always liked talking to her, she's so nice.
"Oh and I also bumped into Changbin earlier. Gotta say it was pretty weird to see him without you. Because you guys are always seen together everywhere. It's like you guys come in a pair." Yeji chuckled.
Changbin was up already?
"Where did you see him?"
"At the diner when I was grabbing my coffee. He was alone. None of the SKZ were there either." Yeji said.
My heart dropped.
I breathed in. It's probably nothing. I have to stop overthinking. It's not good for me nor is it good for Changbin. He was probably getting his coffee too or wanted an early breakfast.
"What's wrong?" Yeji noticed my sudden change of mood. "Are you... okay?"
"Oh yeah, no. I'm fine." I let out a nervous laugh. "Sorry, something just got to my mind."
After the cold and windy walk in the morning, we finally got to the HQ.
We were the first ones to arrive. Followed by Chan with Seungmin and Bambam. Then finally JB and Jihyo.
Once everyone took their seats, I decided to speak up. "Why am I here?" I asked while eyeing Chan.
"This is regarding the soldier that you brought here," JB said to me. "We have discussed his situation for days now and have finally come up with a final decision."
"Just get to the point already." I said.
Jihyo looked at JB before saying, "After interrogating him again—"
"You what?" My heart suddenly raced so fast out of anger. "You fucking beat him up again??" I said as I glared at both JB and Chan.
"We had to know for sure," Chan said in a calm manner.
My hands were shaking slightly. "And now what?"
"It's up to you now, what to do with him," JB said.
"The fuck's that supposed to mean?"
"Letting him go won't be an option. It's either he stays and works with us, or we have to execute him..." JB trailed off.
I closed my eyes in frustration. This is bullshit.
"Look, you're not giving us much choice either. You showed him the way here. Then you got him out of the HQ yourself, he's seen too much." JB said.
"We know how you feel about soldiers—"
I saw Chan giving Bambam a signal to stop talking, but before Bambam could say anything else I stood up and just stormed off the room.
I could hear someone's footsteps following me, "hey," it was Chan. "Nana," Chan grabbed my wrist to stop me.
I pulled back my hand. "No, I can't do this right now, Chan."
"Wait, Nana. Please."
I snickered, "they want me to choose between letting him stay, or execute a fucking human being who's done nothing wrong." I said. "You brought me here just for them to ask me that? What the fuck do you think I am?"
"No," Chan refused. "I brought you here because I couldn't tell you myself that he would be staying with us." He sounded hurt. "Look. I know I have disappointed you a lot lately, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I said that horrible stuff to you in front of everyone. I'm sorry that I had to be selfish because..." he breathed in, hesitating to continue. "I can't fucking risk you, Nana." He said.
I stared at him. Lost of words. I didn't expect that right now at all.
"Say whatever you want about me. If it means I can protect you from—" He pointed at something outside the window. "—from those things out there, I would fucking gladly do whatever it takes. I can't lose you, Nara." He repeated.
I took his palm and squeezed it. Then I hugged him. "But you're not... gonna lose me."
"You don't know that." Chan said avoiding my eyes.
"We survived a long time before we got here." I reasoned out.
"Barely,"
"You won't lose me, Chan." I said and I reached to cup the side of his face.
"SKZ and the rest of the leaders want you to go out on patrol once you're completely healed." He said, still avoiding my eyes.
Hearing that didn't make me happy, like it was supposed to. It was quite the opposite. He looked so scared, and I hated it.
"Promise me you be safe out there, yeah?" Chan said as he held my hand that was on his face. "If you're not scheduled with me, and you run into things you can't handle, you come right back here, okay?"
"I will be fine, Chan." I smiled. "I promise."
Chan stared into my eyes for a moment and then pulled me into a tight hug.
So now Minho had to stay here.
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