Two weeks later
I haven't heard from Tanner since the night he kissed me at the restaurant, and I still haven't found out why he did it. I doubt it has anything to do with him harboring any romantic feelings towards me as he can't stand me. But why did he kiss me?
It must have been some sick joke, or a bet he's made with one of his friends. I wouldn't put it past them, as Tanner and his friends have slowly worked their way through my small group of friends, hooking up with them at any party we end up at together.
I kind of want to reach out to him and ask why he kissed me to get this annoying thought off my mind, but I don't want him to gloat from knowing that I have been thinking about him.
"Leah!" I hear my mom call sweetly from downstairs.
"Just a sec! I'm still getting ready," I call out as I put down my hairbrush.
As I look in the mirror on my vanity table, I can see the last few nights of restless sleep has caught up to me. I rub my dry eyes, feeling the pain as I do so. Sighing, I grab my concealer off the table and do my best to cover the dark circles under my eyes, but it barely works.
In the beginning, I was excited for college, counting down the days until I was at Berkeley. But when I only had a week to go, the nerves started to catch up to me, making it impossible to sleep. Plus, the thought of possibly bumping into Tanner while I'm there has added to the stress.
"Leah, we need to get going soon!" my mom shouts, a little more impatiently this time.
"Okay. I'm almost finished," I promise.
I take one more moment to check my closet and drawers to see if there are any clothes or important documents I may have missed, though after looking, it seems I have everything I need.
Out of habit, I straighten the cushions on top of my comforter, and my hand brushes over one of the small silver ones, and I feel a longing to take it with me.
"Leah, the vein on your mom's head is getting big again!"
I laugh aloud at that while I hear my mom bark at my dad. She hates it when we tease her about the vein.
"Coming."
Grabbing my purse and cushion, I take one last look at my bedroom where I've slept for the last eighteen years of my life. Memories come flooding back to me of all the times my parents have kissed me goodnight as a kid, to all the sleepovers I've had with my friends in this room. I can feel my eyes welling up, and I quickly blink the tears away.
I slowly descend the carpeted stairs, running my hand along the familiar white banister, wondering when I'll be able to do this again. In the last few months I prepared for this day, for letting go, but now that it's my reality, it feels more poignant.
"Are you sure you have everything, dear?" my mom frets as I reach the bottom of the stairs, bringing me back to reality.
"Yes. I did a double check before I left my room."
"Good thinking." She eyes up the sequined cushion in my arms. "Won't you struggle to hold that with all of your luggage?"
I give her a reassuring smile. "I'll manage. I want something that smells like home."
My mothers' eyes soften, and she pulls me in for a hug.
"I'm going to miss you too, Mom," I say, patting her on the back just as she lets out a choke and starts crying again.
Oh no.
Ever since I started packing, my mom has been weeping on and off. Though it's not like I can blame her, seeing as I'm her only child. When I was applying for colleges, she tried talking me into staying closer to home, but I was excited about Berkeley's psychology program.
My dad coughs, causing my mom to release me from her hold. "We need to get going if you want to catch your flight."
"Okay."
I do as my dad says and go to sit in the back passenger seat while he locks the house up. Thankfully, he's left the engine running, so it's nice and warm when I get inside. I remove my knitted cardigan while my mom fiddles with the controls, putting it on her favorite classical station. The car soon fills with the sounds of Andrea Bocelli's rendition of "Ave Maria."
"I do love this song," my mom tells my dad as he makes it to the driver's seat.
My dad murmurs in agreement before adjusting his front mirror and eyeing me through it. "Say goodbye to the house, Leah, 'cause it's the last you'll see of it for a few months."
I make a small smile at his comment, but it only causes a knot to form in my stomach from the impending closeness of soon being in a different state.
I'm not completely sure what to expect from college. And it doesn't help that I won't know anyone else in California, well, except for Tanner, but that does nothing to ease my nerves. When the car enters the main road, I take my dad's advice and turn around in my seat, watching the house get smaller until it disappears from view.
My flight is due to board in less than fifteen minutes. While I wait for the call, I stand patiently with my parents by the viewing windows, looking out at the planes on the tarmac. There are so many shuttle buses driving back and forth to either drop off passengers so they can board their flight or pick up those that have just landed. It's crazy to think that in just a few minutes, I'll be on one of them.
"Look, Leah! That must be your plane there," Dad says enthusiastically, pointing at a plane with the American Airlines logo plastered on the side.
I follow his line of direction and can see the baggage handlers are busy loading the Boeing with luggage while others stock up the fuel. "Could be. They look so tiny down there. Like little ants."
"You'll be one of those little ants in a minute," he jests.
I playfully nudge him with my shoulder and continue watching the men load the plane. At the rate they're going, it won't be long until they're ready for me to board. My stomach somersaults at the thought of soon being thousands of miles in the air.
"How are you feeling about the flight?" Dad inquires.
It's like he can read my thoughts! "Um, just a little nervous."
"I know it's a long flight, but keep yourself distracted with the in-flight entertainment, and the time will seem like it's flying by."
I shake my head at his lame dad joke.
"You'll be fine, honey," Mom croaks.
Oh no, it sounds like she's going to get upset again.
Just as I feared, she quietly sniffles beside me, and I turn my head to look at her. The moment I see her face, I know she's about to lose it again. "Mom, please don't cry again. You should be happy for me; you've always wanted me to go to college." I rub my hand up and down her arm in a soothing motion to try and calm her.
"Sorry, dear. I can't help it. I can't believe you'll be gone soon. The house will feel so empty." She sniffles again, wiping the back of her hand on her nose.
"You know I'll FaceTime you when I can. It'll be like I'm in the room with you."
"I know you will, honey, but it's not the same. I won't be able to put my arms around you whenever I feel like it," my mom responds while putting her arm on my shoulders.
I lean into her affectionate embrace, hoping she'll soon settle. As I do this, I continue to watch the planes land and take off in the distance. The sun is so bright that I have to squint my eyes to watch the planes in the sky.
"It's a shame you and Tanner aren't on the same plane. He could have helped you with your orientation once you arrive on campus," Dad says out of the blue.
"I don't think Tanner and I would survive a five-hour flight together, Dad. We'd either end up pushing each other out of the plane or jumping ourselves."
My comment doesn't go down too well as a frown forms on my dad's face. "I don't know. Maybe you two need a good five hours to air out your differences."
I let out a snort. I don't think there is enough time in the world to achieve that.
"Please, for me, Leah. At least try to spend some time with him while you're there. It would mean the world to me."
I roll my eyes. "Fine, I'll give it a go."
"Thank you," he replies, putting a hand on my shoulder.
I give a faint smile. I know I may have agreed to try, but he doesn't need to know about the fingers crossed behind my back.
"Good afternoon, passengers. This is the boarding announcement for flight 210A to California. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready," a man announces over the intercom.
People immediately begin to mill around the check-in desk and form a line, waiting for their turn to board. I guess this is it.
I turn to my parents and see my dad holding my mom, who is currently weeping in his arms. "Mom, please don't cry, I won't be gone too long. You know I'll be coming home for Christmas."
I go over to my mom and wrap my arms around her waist, and as I settle my head in the crook of her neck, I can smell the sweet scent of her perfume on her clothes. I'm going to miss this smell; I'm going to miss our chats and the days spent shopping together and just hanging out with her in general.
My mom gives a small hiccup. "Call us when you land, okay, and don't forget if you ever need to call, I'll pick up, no matter how late it is."
"Thanks, Mom," I choke out, squeezing her tighter.
"I love you so much, sweetie."
I repeat the sentiment and embrace her one more time before stepping back so I can say goodbye to my dad. "Come here," he says lovingly, opening his arms for me and I gladly walk into them.
"Your mom's right, if you need us, just call," he says into my hair.
"Will do."
I let go of him and grab my carry-on-bag off the floor and place my cushion under my arm.
"And Leah," my dad adds before I go.
"Yeah?"
"You're going to be fine," he says with a beaming smile on his face.
I nod my head and smile back. "I know."
I finish saying my goodbyes and walk over to the check-in desk. The stewardess checks my boarding pass and passport before showing me the door to walk to the plane. I can feel my eyes are starting to water again, but I don't want my parents to see me upset, so I quickly wipe them before turning around to wave goodbye one last time. My dad has his arm around my mom again while she dabs her tear-filled eyes with a handkerchief. They wave back, and my dad blows a kiss to me.
As I walk down the hallway to the plane, it feels strange. I've always had at least one of my parents with me, but I'm a grown-up now, and I have to take this step alone.
What do you think of Leah's moments with her parents? Do any of you relate to the feeling of going off to college? How scared are you of flying?✈️
Thank you for reading! Please vote and comment 💖
xoxo