Mya examined herself in the bathroom mirror, her fingers dancing over her skin to the soft bruises and love bites that seemed to graze over blood-red everywhere. Mya didn't mind it. They were easy to cover for the most part and she loved the way it made her look like she was possessed. Belonging to someone. Owned.
The sex lasted all morning, Jessie helping Mya indulge in new things and discovering new ways to help Mya reach different peaks. With Tristan, sex didn't last this long. Mya didn't even know she could last this long.
That ship was set and sailed, far away now, as Jessie appeared behind Mya and slowly engulfed her in her arms. Mya continued to watch through the mirror, Jessie staring back.
"It wasn't too much?" Jessie asked, concern strong in her eyes and tone. They did get a little rough and frantic toward the end of their sex.
Mya shook her head. "It was perfect."
Mya watched Jessie's eyes lower through the mirror. "I may have overdid it with the hickeys ..."
"No," Mya placed her hand on top of Jessie's, rubbing her thumb against her knuckles. "I love them."
Jessie smiled, burying her face in the crook of Mya's neck. They ended up taking a shower before going out into the world again. Jessie insisted on a nice quaint place to have lunch and this time instead of taking the bike, they went in Mya's car.
Mya wore a crop top and jeans with heels. She tied her hair in a high ponytail today, putting back on the sapphire necklace and her princess cut diamond earrings.
Mya remembers being a passenger in her own car vaguely. It had been a while of course, but she enjoyed being driven around and relaxing. She trusted Jessie behind the wheel and Jessie was more than happy to adjust herself in the driver's seat of the luxurious car.
Jessie had on just another small white tank top today, with black jeans that weren't ripped and her normal black boots. Her hair was in that short ponytail Mya found so cute with a strand of hair hanging down in front of her face.
The seat was positioned almost all the way back, accommodating Jessie's height and posture. She was confident behind the wheel, staring ahead with one hand steering and the other resting on her own thigh.
Mya found she was staring a little too hard, but she couldn't help it. Jessie was ... phenomenal, in every aspect. Whatever lucky woman she was going to end up with was sure to have a hell of a time. The thought was painfully sobering, feeling like a punch to the gut.
It was a horrible reminder that this was going to end very soon by the force of nature. Were their paths only meant to cross for this short amount of time and then divert? Would they ever cross paths again?
Was Jessie supposed to be an important person in her life? A lesson? A blessing? Just another person that was going to leave their mark and nothing more? The uncertainty seemed to grow darker, jumping several shades at a time. Then Jessie's voice — thankfully — pulled her out of the deepening rabbit hole.
"Has anyone ever told you staring is rude?" Jessie remarked playfully.
Mya shook her head, smiling weakly. "Sorry."
Jessie smiled. "No need. I know I look damn good behind this wheel right now."
"I never thought you'd ever drive something so ... safe," Mya teased while bringing her gaze to the windshield. "You surprise me everyday J.T."
Jessie laughed. "Gosh, my rep may be ruined if this secret gets out."
"Santa Praiser's very own biker badass behind the wheel of something that isn't a bike."
"You know, I'm starting to think you dig the biker thing," Jessie replied with a sly smile.
Mya took a small peak at the woman. "Is that what you think?"
"Am I wrong?"
Mya smiled a little, sliding her hand over to rest on Jessie's thigh. "Not at all."
Jessie quickly glanced down, moving her free hand to grab Mya's. Mya melted in her own seat at the returned gesture, Jessie's hand extremely warm and soft despite her callouses. They rode like that all the way to the restaurant, in calm spirits.
Everything was just as fine as it could get. It was all so simple. They picked a small table for two, ordered their meals, but as soon as the meals were placed in front of them on the oakwood table, Jessie's phone rang, obnoxiously so.
Jessie ignored it the first time, quickly muting her phone.
"Are you sure?" Mya asked, wiping her hands on a napkin.
Jessie shook her head. "If it's important they'll call again."
And they did call again, this time making Jessie curse under her breath and look at her phone.
"Hola mama. Está todo bien?" Jessie said quietly into her phone.
Mya cleared her throat, trying to busy herself with her food, but it was impossible not to listen in on what Jessie was saying, even if she couldn't understand the language. Hearing the woman talk in her native tongue was viciously attractive. Mya couldn't help it.
"Estoy fuera ahora mismo," Jessie sighed softly, "Lo sé. Solo he estado ocupado."
Mya watched Jessie's facial expression fall into disinterest and annoyance. Mya gently grabbed Jessie's free hand across the table, offering a small smile. Jessie lifted a corner of her lips and continued her conversation.
"Estoy con alguien ahora mismo. Hablo contigo más tarde, mama."
"Bendicion."
By the tone of Jessie's voice, Mya figured everything was fine, but still wanted to ask.
"Everything okay?"
Jessie placed her phone face down on the table, "Everything is fine. My mom was just saying I haven't really been home and she was a little worried."
Mya took back her hand. "I really am a thief, huh?"
Jessie chuckled. "Don't worry about it."
"If they need you, it's okay to go. I don't mind."
But the selfish part of Mya did mind. They were on limited time. Couldn't she have time with Jessie undisturbed?
Jessie shook her head. "I'm staying right here. With you."
Mya knew she was blushing. It was such a simple statement, but it meant the world to her. The effort could be seen, something in which Mya didn't see in Tristan.
He never really tried that hard and Mya always thought it was because she made it easy. She didn't play hard to get or ring around the rosy when it came down to relationships. If she wanted someone, she wouldn't act like she didn't. Mixed signals were for children.
While the chase was fun for most people, she considered standing still and letting the person catch you was real bravery. But Mya wasn't falling, right? She couldn't be. It was way too soon for that.
Then again, there were no laws for how fast you could fall for someone.
"Thank you for making this week fun," Mya said.
Jessie replied with a smile. "I can say the same to you."
"We're thanking each other then," Mya smiled back. "Who knew something this good could come out a flat tire."
"You're right. Not every day a hot software engineer walks into your shop in distress thinking she's been talked down upon," Jessie smirked before taking a sip of her water.
Mya rolled her eyes. "I was having a hard night."
Jessie laughed and wiped her mouth. "I know. You almost rejected me."
Mya saw the opportunity to tease and took it. "You're not used to being rejected?"
"Honestly? No," Jessie smirked smugly. "Never had an issue with getting a date."
Mya raised her eyebrow, not exactly liking the answer, but she understood why any woman would be crazy to reject her. "I wonder why."
"What are you implying over there?"
Mya shrugged, her eyes skimming over her food. "Nothing. What could I possibly be implying, J.T.?
"Hah. Cute."
Mya looked back up at Jessie, smiling softly, "What is?"
Jessie glared at Mya.
Is she this easy to work up?
Mya tried to keep a straight face, but she couldn't help but laugh when Jessie pouted like an upset 12-year-old.
"Instead of pouting like a child, why don't you tell me why you only wear black and white? And t-shirts?"
"Black and white are the easiest colors to match. I'm not really into loud fashion," Jessie answered picking up a fry off her plate. "And t-shirts are cheap and comfortable."
"Loud fashion?" Mya scoffed. "You drive a bike, wear expensive motorcycle stuff, ripped jeans, chain links, and leather jackets. That's not loud to you?"
Jessie laughed, eating her fry. "I mean like, louder fashion. Crazy colors, multiple layers, stuff like that. Things that really jump out at you."
Mya shook her head, almost shocked that Jessie thinks what she wears isn't eye-catching. Mya didn't see too many people dressed like Jessie, if not at all. She was used to seeing fancy suits and expensive dresses. That was her life. But she settled on the conclusion that everything was loud about Jessie.
Her amazing body, the armbands around her biceps, the way she talked, carried herself, her diligence, her smile. Especially that damn smile with her chin dimple and inhumane fangs.
How could anyone pass that girl as quiet? Just to think Mya was in between those impressive thighs—
"You're staring again, Sapphire."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I don't mean too, I just zone out sometimes and—"
"It's fine. Are you okay?"
Mya nodded. "I'm great. My thoughts just ... tend to take over as of late."
"What are you thinking about?"
Mya almost spoke before she actually thought about her words. Jessie folded her arms on the table, obviously ready to hear what was going through Mya's mind.
"Um, just thinking about you?" Mya smiled and it was awkward at best. It was honest, at least.
But Jessie smirked. "Me? What about me?"
Mya cleared her throat, mimicking elbows on the table like Jessie. "How we met. Why we met. What this means."
Jessie sighed softly, hunching over slightly. The strand of hair hanging free from her hairline swaying for a moment. "I guess it isn't just me."
Mya moved her plate over and did the same for Jessie's, sliding her hands over Jessie's enclosed fists. Jessie looked up, but Mya kept her stare pointed at their hands. It was nice to know they were on the same page.
"I isolated myself completely after the breakup. I ... didn't know how to be around people anymore. Everyone talked about me and him. I couldn't stand to look anyone in the face. To be near them. Go to the same event as them or work meetings. I didn't talk to my close friends. My family. God, I couldn't even bring myself out of the house unless it was for work. It's almost like no one allowed me to let go. He'd come up in every conversation. Every thought I had."
Jessie didn't respond, but she moved her hands from under Mya's and held them properly. Mya took a shaky breath, knowing she couldn't stop now. She may as well keep going. There was no point in letting someone half in.
"Everything just ... hurt. So bad. I've never been so defeated in my life. Even after all this time I still try my best to avoid him at work. I still cry like an idiot. The memories turned into nightmares and inside I am so cut up and twisted and tangled. It's like a part of me was mangled beyond recognition. I wanted a family with him. I thought we'd last and be happy — we were happy at one point, I think."
"Did you settle?" Jessie asked.
Mya shook her head, "No. I honestly thought he was sweet and so fun. Everything I needed in someone. He was my best friend. Now I can't stand him. I can't stand anyone, actually. Every time I talk to someone I'm just exhausted and wanting to run away. People made me sick for a while. Everyone made me sick. So when I met you and said yes to going out with you, I questioned what the hell got into me. All I could think about was the moment when you asked to take me out for drinks and I just couldn't wrap my head around it. Suddenly I wanted company after running away from it."
"You can only go so long without stimulation and human contact, Sapphire."
Mya grimaced. "I know, but ... goddammit I can try. It's been working ... for the most part."
"You also can't stay hidden forever."
Mya finally looked up into dark brown eyes. I know, cause you found me.
Jessie gently squeezed Mya's hands. "I know how you feel. I really do. And I know that staying alone and being the furthest away from people feels safe and peaceful, but ... when you stray away too long, you lose yourself. Feelings become hard to feel. Social interaction becomes weird and forced. Love gets harder to feel. Life becomes empty. You turn to bullshit or you bury yourself in work and other things to keep you distracted. Then you realize that money can only fulfill you for so long. You start looking at the people you love with disdain ... jealousy. Seeing other people happy makes you annoyed and you question when will it be your turn. Mya, you owe it yourself to heal. You're not a bitter person and you are deserving of the purest loves this world has to offer."
"You're going to make me cry," Mya mumbled, the straining in her throat almost painful. Her waterlines flooding.
Jessie shook her head. "Cry if you need to. I just need you to know you're more than this pain. You are so much more than that. Anyone who ends up with you is truly lucky. Fortunate. You're worth a lot more than what you think. Fuck that asshole. You're better off without him. Seriously."
Mya shook her head. "I feel so pathetic for being hung up after all this time. So weak and annoying. I can't ... control that, you know? I keep it down as best as I can, but ... it's there and it just breaks me down every time."
"Hey, everyone gets through these things going at their own pace. You're not weak or annoying. You're a human that was deeply hurt. Giving yourself time is important. You're doing your best. You have to recognize that."
Mya shook her head, tears falling down her face. "Sometimes it doesn't feel like my best."
"And most of the time it won't. But you keep going. Because quitting isn't an option."
"I'm trying Jessie. I really am."
"And that's all that matters. Some people don't even do that," Jessie lifted Mya's left hand and placed a soft kiss on her palm, "It's hard, but it does get easier. I promise."
❚ ❚ ❚
Right now, it was easier. It was easier as Mya watched Jessie take pictures of a couple next to a mascot statue in front of a sports store.
Jessie counted down, smiling and making jokes as she held the strangers' phone in her hands. Mya didn't care about the man and woman posing for their pictures, the store, or the people passing by looking on. All she could see was Jessie being Jessie.
Jessie being a bright light in the dark.
How have I ever lived without this sight?
It was something magical about Jessie that Mya couldn't explain. You just wanted to be around her. Her gravity was strong and there was no way you could avoid not orbiting around her.
It was easier because Jessie was a big kid and loved to have fun. She seized every moment she could to laugh and make Mya laugh. That was the kind of person Mya wanted to be around all the time. That was the person she needed in her life.
She couldn't believe she opened up to Jessie about the one thing she found impossible to talk about. But Jessie's words contradicted Jessie's prior statements about not trusting anyone or letting anyone get too close.
Though her situation is completely different.
It made sense that she kept her situation quiet and her family hidden away. It was no one's business anyway, but to be so sheltered and untrusting because of what they all went through was sad.
It was easier—
"Sapphire! Picture?"
Mya saw Jessie standing by the statue, extending her arm out, frantically waving her hand for Mya to take her place beside her.
"Oh — yes," Mya quickly scurried beside Jessie, the older man holding Jessie's phone in landscape to take a picture. Jessie threw her arm around Mya and Mya smiled.
"Another!"
This time Jessie planted a big kiss on Mya's cheek, Mya caught by surprise only for a moment, her smile turning into what she was sure was a dopey lopsided grin.
They were done taking pictures, the older couple going about their business and Jessie leaning over to show Mya the two photos of themselves. Mya laughed loudly, seeing herself beside Jessie, Jessie looking as prideful as ever.
"You're very friendly," Mya said as they proceeded to walk hand in hand.
Jessie smiled. "Is that surprising?"
Mya shook her head. "No."
Jessie shrugged. "There's enough assholes in this world, you know? Kindness goes a long way."
"I agree," Mya replied.
"When's your next day at the summit?" Jessie asked.
Mya sighed. She hated being reminded what she was truly here for. "Tomorrow night actually."
"Ah ... you know I've always wondered what it'd be like to attend something high class."
Mya's eyebrow rose up. "Really?"
"I mean, yeah. Never really had that experience before even though I'm sure I'd probably hate it cause it's snobby. But maybe being snobby for a night wouldn't hurt. Maybe it'll help me understand why people like it."
Mya bit her lip in thought. Guests were welcome at this particular summit. It's not like she was doing anything important this week. All the responsibility seemed to fall onto Tristan, which she was grateful for.
But what would people say? Do? Ask? Bringing Jessie meant that she would most likely meet Tristan or see him. Did she really want that? Did she really want people questioning her about her partner for the week?
But it was also another opportunity to spend more time with Jessie. To take the burden off her broad shoulders and allow her to step outside of her routine. If they were going to enjoy the night together and be in proximity once more, then that was enough.
"Would you come with me?" Mya asked.
Jessie sounded surprised. "Oh — uh, that's allowed?"
"Guests are welcome. If you want too though. I understand it's not your thing and the people can get a little annoying, but ..."
"Are you sure? I wouldn't want shit to blow up in your face ..."
Mya shook her head, squeezing Jessie's hand in reassurance. "Of course I'm sure. We'd just have to get you an outfit though."
"Oh. That's fine then, don't worry about it."
"Jessie it's fine. I'll pay for it."
"What? No. No, don't do that. Don't waste your money like that—"
"Nonsense. Nothing is a waste when it's for you."
Jessie smiled a little, looking down for a few moments. Mya gently bumped against the woman's side. And as much fluttering that was taking place in Mya's stomach, they weren't prepared for tomorrow night. Not yet. She had to hold off on the butterflies.
"Plus ... there's tons of free food," Mya added.
This got Jessie's attention. "Free food?"
Mya smiled, shrugging her shoulders and saying not a word more.
Tomorrow night would be different and it could go either way, but it'd be worth it. It was easier when she thought about it like that.