"The future depends on what you do today." ~ Mahatma Gandhi
The Doctor
"We're going to go dance pretty boy." My stomach flipped at her words and I shook my head adamantly.
"N-no B, I don't think that's a good idea." I stuttered nervously. But she wasn't listening. She simply clasped my hand tighter and led me out into the dance-floor away from the comfort of the bar.
"Everything's a good idea when alcohol is involved." She grinned, turning to me in the middle of the dance-floor.
"I-I don't normally drink." I said, desperately trying to get her to stop what she was doing and listen to me. My head was spinning, my vision was blurring around the edges and I felt all warm inside; like I was sleeping and this was all just a dream. Joy was dancing now, swaying her hips to the music and moving her hands through her hair.
"I know, that's why you need to loosen up a little." She called to me over the music.
"Loosen up?" I repeated and then chuckled. "Joy you don't understand, I've never really been drunk before." I admitted.
She stopped dancing and looked up at me with wide eyes.
"Really?" She cooed and I nodded, blushing and looked away from her warm blue eyes.
"Well there's a first time for everything!" She grinned and grabbed my hands, spinning herself in a circle and laughing hysterically.
The Technical Analyst
"We're going to go dance pretty boy." Prentiss and I stared at each other with our mouths open wide, our eyes unblinking as we watched the beautiful tattooed blonde pull poor Spencer Reid out onto the crowded dance-floor; his whole body language screaming that he'd rather be anywhere but in the heart of that crowd.
"Do my eyes deceive me or is Doctor Spencer Reid on the dance-floor with a pretty girl?" Morgan's sultry voice sounded from behind me and I jumped slightly, breaking out of my reverie.
"She just took him," I blurted in awe. "I-I mean one minute we were doing shots and the next..." I waved my hand in their direction and Emily looked over at Morgan and me, nodding.
"She took us all by surprise." She said in a detached tone, the pair of us clearly not having a clue what to say.
"I knew the first day that chick joined our team that she'd take us all by surprise." Morgan chuckled.
"It's a pity poor Spencer didn't see it like that." Emily laughed, finishing her drink as JJ and Will hurried over.
"Have you seen Joy and Spencer?" JJ choked and Will was chuckling.
"Yeah, they're dancing." I nodded, peering around the pair to continue my oggling.
"You know Penelope..." Emily began in that tone of hers. "I think Joy was trying to make a point when she dragged Spencer onto that dance-floor."
I narrowed my eyes at Emily as Morgan and Will shared equally questioning expressions.
"I don't know what you mean." I said through my teeth, trying to get her to shut up.
"Awe," JJ cooed. We looked up at her and she was looking out onto the dance-floor as the song changed. "Little Spence is actually dancing now."
Emily started tugging on her straw, eyeing me with a smirk as I grew more and more anxious.
"Baby girl, you okay?" Morgan asked from behind me.
"M-mhmm." I hummed with a smile. But my tone was totally off, and JJ could hear this.
"Are you sure you're alright?" She asked as Will set another drink down in front of everyone.
"Uhm..." I looked at Emily, panicked and she grinned, nodding her head at me encouragingly. "Oh fuck it, c'mon sweet-cheeks let's dance." I turned and snatched Morgan's hand, yanking him down the small flight of stairs and towards the dance-floor.
The Daughter
At the song change, Spencer grinned and actually started to look like he was enjoying himself. Before long it was as if he actually knew what to do.
He took my hips and we both swayed together; the pair of us yelling the song lyrics and laughing.
"Hey!" I grinned as I saw Derek and Penelope making their way towards us on the dance-floor.
"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." Penelope said in a short voice. I marginally narrowed my eyes but not before Derek had her spinning in a circle and laughing.
*
My head hurt. Badly. I was warm. Everywhere. My throat was dry. Extremely. My stomach was empty. Thankfully.
I groaned and tried to stretch, but there was dead weight holding me down, and my hands were tangled in something. I peeled my dry and crusted eyes open, blinking desperately up at a white ceiling with a barred light.
Frowning and blinking I turned my eyes to the rest of the room and groaned as I saw computers. Everywhere. There were at least a dozen different screens to my right, as well as a computer chair and lots of pink and orange and generally colourful accessories.
I tried to lift my head up and groaned as the entire room spun.
Then I became aware of what had awoken me.
"No, Hotch, I don't think that's a good idea, no, no!" It was Emily and she was outside of the room I was currently in.
Suddenly a door on my left propelled open and light flooded inside of the room, making me and three others wince.
"What is going on here?" Hotch demanded. I whimpered at how loud he was shouting and sat up, gasping and snatching Spencer before he could fall off my torso, realising that my hands had been caught in his hair and he'd been laid on top of me; his arms around my waist.
He groaned and mumbled, scratching his head as he sat up and peeled his eyes open. I avoided eye-contact and turned to Penelope and Derek just as she jumped to her feet, subsequently standing on her glasses and cursing under her breath. For the first time, Derek looked like he didn't have a clue of what to say.
"Uhm..." I began, looking at the three other people in the room as I got to my feet and clutched Penelope's desk before I could fall down.
"There's a perfectly reasonable explanation for this." I said, holding my head as dizziness seemed to overwhelm me. I realised that the reason for this was Spencer clutching onto my side as he got to his feet. Charming.
"Well then do tell." Hotch said. He was enraged, his face a mask of anger as he folded his arms and stared me down.
"Right now?" Penelope choked and Hotch didn't so much as blink. Well, he never did anyway but now it was simply unreal.
"Last night, we went for drinks to celebrate the case and..." And...? The truth was, I couldn't remember a damned thing about the bar. Except maybe dancing. Or singing? Maybe it was both, I wasn't entirely confident with my answer.
"Well we had a bit too much to drink, and it was my idea for us to come and crash here."
"Your idea?" Hotch repeated to which I mumbled affirmatively. "The idea to come back to Garcia's office to sleep was your sole idea?"
"Yes, sir," I said confidently. "It was my idea. I couldn't find my key and I was the one talking to the taxi driver. I didn't know anybody's home address so I brought us here."
"And the security let you in?"
"Yes sir."
"Unfortunately Agent I don't believe you. But I am proud of yesterday's outcome in Vegas, it was remarkable work from you all. I want you all ready at the round table in an hour..." There was a pause and he sniffed.
"Perhaps it'd be best if you all showered too." He shook his head before he left and I watched in awe. Had he just smirked?
"I'm sorry, I tried to stop him." Prentiss said, shaking her head in the doorway.
"No that's okay." I shakily sighed and turned to look at the others. Derek was fishing a glasses case out of one of the desk drawers while Penelope held his shoulders steadily, looking around the room with glazed and blinking eyes. Spencer was standing next to me with his head in his hands.
"You alright Spence?" I asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"My head is spinning." He claimed.
"Don't worry, a couple of aspirins and you'll be fine." Prentiss said matter-of-factly.
"I'm boiling up too." He said in a weak voice, dropping his hands to his cardigan and pulling roughly.
"Hey it's okay," I chuckled, yanking at his hands. "It's just a hangover," I explained. He looked into my eyes and a shiver passed over my spine.
The Doctor
"So what happened to you last night Miss. Prentiss?" Garcia asked as we all made our way back inside the building an hour later. We'd all gone home and showered and changed before heading back to the BAU; just as Hotch had wanted.
"Oh I don't kiss and tell." Prentiss said with a small blush.
"You didn't?!" Joy gasped and Prentiss chuckled.
"Believe what you will." She shrugged and Morgan whistled.
"Emily Prentiss you dirty dog."
*
Hotch didn't even slightly seem fazed by that morning's situation, and instead debriefed us as normal and instructed us to meet on the jet in twenty minutes.
"How's the hangover Spence?" JJ asked and I jumped.
"Could you not shout please?" I whispered, touching my forehead lightly.
"Wow kid, you got it bad." Morgan chuckled and I narrowed my eyes.
"What? No witty comeback?" Rossi asked and then chuckled. "That's got to be a first."
"He's not using any big words either, I suppose the alcohol really did affect his brain last night." Morgan joked.
"C'mon guys, leave him alone." Joy chuckled and I smiled at her as I slowly got to my feet.
"What happened to you and Will?" I asked JJ as we left for the jet.
"When I saw you and Joy on the dance-floor, we knew it was time to head home." JJ explained.
"What?" I asked, halting in my tracks. "D-d-dance-f-floor?" I stuttered and JJ sniggered.
"Yeah, you and Joy were dancing. According to Emily, you were up there for the rest of the night."
"I was dancing?"
JJ nodded her head and smiled.
"You looked like you were having fun."
"Dancing..." I mumbled under my breath.
The Daughter
"Alright, Joy, Reid and Morgan you head to the station and start working on victimology. Rossi and I will head to the latest crime-scene, JJ you start working on the families."
"Is there a coffee shop next to the station?" Spencer asked, half-raising his hand with a small smile.
"Uhm..." Hotch looked pointedly at the laptop on the table between Morgan and I.
"Baby girl, you there?" Morgan asked, tapping on the keys. The webcam was on and we could see inside Garcia's office. We just couldn't see Garcia. "Hello? Momma you there?"
He called a little louder. Suddenly Garcia jumped into view with her glasses squinted on her face.
"What? Yes hello, I am here, what can I do for you my liege?" She rubbed at her eye, subsequently smudging her eyeliner. Realising this she cursed and groaned, straightening her glasses and smiling sweetly into the camera while her mind worked overtime, her jaw popping slightly.
"We need you to find out if there's a coffee shop next to the police station for pretty boy."
"Coffee shop? Don't these stations have coffee machines?"
"Most of them are inadequate, I need a double shot." Spencer said matter-of-factly in a mumble. I nodded my head slightly, totally agreeing with him.
"I think it's safe to say that's the last time we go out on a school night." Rossi said with a short laugh.
"Oh that is definitely the last time you're out on a school night," Hotch said seriously. "Do that again Joy and you're grounded." I looked up and caught him smiling at me. Everyone was chuckling away and before long my smile turned into a grin. Hotch really was trying. And that was probably the best thing I could ever have asked for.
Garcia established that there was a coffee shop next to the station, just across the road and on the corner. Once we got to the station we decided to take the walk to the shop rather than drive, deciding that the air really would do us good.
"One large double shot latte, one large double shot cappuccino and one large vanilla latte please." I ordered at the counter.
"No fair Joyner." Morgan snapped, puffing up to the counter behind me.
"I told you I'd beat you," I said, shuddering. "Where's Spencer?" I asked, peering over Morgan's shoulder and seeing Spencer hobbling inside after him.
"That is the last time I try to push through a crowded sidewalk to get to you." He said gruffly, approaching the counter where we stood. I smirked and reached up, ruffling his hair as I paid for the coffees.
"Melanie Joyner?" A distant voice reached out across the coffee shop and I froze, half stretched towards the barista. My heart thudded in my chest and a million memories came flooding back.
I cleared my throat and quickly reached across and took Spencer's latte from the barista's hand, passing it to Spencer with a quick smile.
"Melanie Joyner?" A woman said again as the barista finished Morgan's latte. I gulped and kept firmly rooted to the counter, refusing to turn around.
"Hey, I knew it was you!" The woman said again, taking me by the shoulder and spinning me around to face her.
"Whoa!" I gushed, falling into Spencer's side as my mind whirled with a thousand thoughts.
"Whoa, excuse me ma'am can we help you?" Morgan asked, throwing his arm in front of my chest, his right hand twitching on his gun in his holster.
"My, my, my, Melanie, haven't you done good for yourself?"
I met the green eyes of the red-headed American woman in front of me as she eyed Spencer and Morgan appreciatively, chewing on her bottom lip.
"Melanie?" Spencer echoed.
"I'm Brenda." I said robotically.
"What?" She laughed. "Come off it, Mel. So they weren't lying when they said you transferred." I panicked, looking up at Spencer's confused expression as he stared down at the woman.
"I-I don't know what you're taking about." I stuttered, shaking my head.
"One vanilla latte and double shot cap?" The barista announced from behind me.
Spinning a little too quickly I snatched the coffees out of the barista's hands and thrust Morgan's against his chest.
"We have to go." I snapped at the woman, shoving past her for the door.
As soon as I was out in the air I took deep breaths, trying to steady my heartbeat.
"What was that all about?" Spencer asked, joining me on the sidewalk and sliding his sunglasses on over his eyes. I shrugged and shook my head, doing the same.
"What a loon ball." Morgan said from behind his sunglasses. I nodded my head and sipped at my cappuccino.
"C'mon let's go." I mumbled, leading the way shakily down the street.
The Doctor
"It just doesn't make any sense." Prentiss shook her head, her arms folded and her eyes fixated on the board.
"Hold on a minute..." I took a step away from the desk Joy and I were leaning against. I took the board pen and tilted my head to the side, spinning the map and joining the points, drawing big red lines this way and that across the map, drawing different symbols for each of the victims.
"There!" I gushed when I was finished, turning to the team and the detective who were staring at me like I was insane. At this point, I wouldn't put it past me.
"All this time we've been connecting the wrong points!" I exclaimed. "We've been thinking that Bryan has been following all of the original paths to the victims, but he hasn't! It's not connected to that, it's-"
"Sorry to interrupt but there's a woman here looking for Agent Melanie Joyner..." The deputy interrupted and my eyes fell on Joy who was jumping up from the desk, enraged.
"I tried to tell her there's only Agent Brenda Joyner, I thought she just had the name wrong but she's pretty adamant."
"I can't believe this!" Joy exclaimed, looking like she'd seen a ghost.
"Joy," Hotch's face was pale and he was making his way over to Joy. "Is everything alright?" He asked.
"I'll deal with this." She said through her teeth, pushing past the deputy towards the front of the station where the woman from the coffee shop yesterday was stood waving excitedly.
"Reid!" Morgan said for what I feared was not the first time. I blinked rapidly as I stared at Joy.
"He should be here," I said absentmindedly, pointing to the centre of the map where I hadn't drawn on. "I'll be right back..." I said in a detached tone, my eyes still glued on Joy. I had a bad feeling about this.
The Daughter
I marched towards the woman with my fists clenched by my sides.
"Outside." I snapped, snatching her upper arm and dragging her for the door.
"But Melanie-"
"I'm not Melanie!" I snapped angrily, letting go of her arm and turning to face her. We'd only managed a few feet, which meant I was still in sight of my team. I turned my back on them and shielded Caitlyn with my body so my team wouldn't be able to see either of us.
"Melanie..." She shook her head. "What's going on with you?"
"How did you find me?" I asked with clenched teeth as well as fists.
"Everyone knows the FBI are in town about the recent murders," She explained. "The last thing I heard you were transferring to the BAU, I knew you'd be here." She explained.
"You can't just come into my life again, Caitlyn. I've changed, everything. I'm not the person I used to be anymore."
"And what? Your team don't know the real you? The you, I knew? Melanie? Don't you think they have the right?"
"No!" I exclaimed. "They don't! Now what is it that you want?"
"I-I just wanted to catch up... I haven't seen you since everything happened and-"
"Yeah, there's a reason for that. I'm trying to put my old life behind me and move on. That's why I'm Brenda now, I've moved on. That's why I'm here. I love this team and I love this job. I don't need you or anybody else from our past messing this up."
"I'm not here to do that, Mel. I just want to catch up."
"No. You don't. I'm done. Just... stay away from me, and stay away from my team."
"They deserve to know the truth, Melanie!" She called as I turned to walk away. I froze as I saw Spencer standing a few feet in front of me now, his face a mask of confusion and suspicion.
I turned to glare at Caitlyn, but she was already gone.
The Doctor
"What was all that about?" I asked in a quiet voice, remembering everything that was said but simply wanting to hear it from her.
"Nothing, it's sorted." She shrugged smiling, clearly unsure of how much I had heard.
"Who's Melanie?" I asked.
"Oh she's just some girl I used to know," She shrugged, laughing.
"So you do know who Melanie is? And you know that woman."
"I knew her... I couldn't remember her at first but yeah. She used to be friends with Melanie, that's how she claims she knows me," She rolled her eyes and shrugged again.
"Anyway, how's the geographical profile coming along?" I marginally narrowed my eyes at her, letting her know that this wasn't over. But we were smack bang in the middle of a case; I couldn't just shut that down to worry about whatever Joy was hiding.
The Daughter
"Excellent work today everyone. You should be proud." Hotch grinned as we all boarded the plane.
"I don't know about you lot but I'm exhausted." Prentiss groaned, throwing herself down behind the table.
"Me too. I can't wait to climb into bed and sleep for a year." JJ laughed, sliding in next to her.
"Anyone for coffee?" I offered but everyone shook their heads. They were suspicious of what had happened earlier; and truth be told I was trying to avoid all possible conversations of who Caitlyn or Melanie was. The last thing I needed was them profiling me, or Caitlyn, or finding out about my past.
"Joy." Hotch's voice was behind me as I poured my coffee.
"Yes?" I turned to see him in the way of the door, looking at me with a curious expression.
"Who was that woman earlier? The one who came to see you at the station?" I acted blank for a moment before recognition dawned on me.
"Oh yes," I cleared my throat. "I worked a case with my old team before I transferred. One of my colleagues was called Melanie. She just got us confused, that's all."
"So the woman from earlier was a victim?" I nodded my head as I sipped my coffee.
"Yes, she was one of the survivors." I smiled broadly at him, clearly wanting this conversation over with.
"It's just... I can't help thinking of the coincidences..." I frowned slightly and Hotch sighed. "I'm probably being paranoid... It's just, my mother was called Melanie... And we were in New York..." He chuckled. "It's probably nothing," He shook his head. "This is where I last seen your mother and I couldn't help being paranoid..." I smiled and dropped my eyes, chewing on my bottom lip.
"What is it Joy?" My heart was pounding in my chest. "I'm right aren't I?" He asked in a detached voice.
"Right about what?" I enquired without looking at him.
"That woman wasn't mistaken was she?" I sighed and looked up at Hotch.
"I done it to protect you all." I said in a lame voice, looking up at Hotch desperately.
He took a step back uncertainly and even though I couldn't, I didn't need to be looking over his shoulder to see everybody in the jet staring at us.
"You lied?" He choked.
"I couldn't tell any of you the truth. I'm so sorry..."
He frowned and shook his head, rubbing his forehead.
"You have to tell me the truth now, Joy..." I sighed and shook my head.
"I can't. I'm sorry, I can't do that... That was a past life for me, I can't tell you something that doesn't exist anymore."
"If you can't Garcia will."
"She won't find it. Nobody will."
"Garcia can find anything." He turned and walked away from me then and I was left speechless, blinking after him in panic.
The Doctor
Of course, we heard everything, but that didn't mean we understood what was going on.
"C'mon kid, you sitting down?" Morgan asked from behind me.
"Y-yeah." I stuttered, taking the seat at the window and watching as Morgan slid in next to me.
I covered myself with my jacket and glued my eyes out of the window despite the fact that they were stinging. Rage and disappointment was burning in my stomach, not to mention anxiety and apprehension.
What exactly had Joy felt so eager to hide from us? From me? What was it she couldn't tell anyone? What was it Garcia couldn't or wouldn't find?
I had so many questions; all of them I was too scared to ask and knew I couldn't even if I had the courage to.
Joy wouldn't answer. She couldn't. She couldn't even answer Hotch properly.
I was aware of her sitting alone in the corner of the jet at the two-seater table, and I was pleased she was left alone to deal with her guilt and her thoughts.
She had to tell us the truth sometime.
Otherwise, how were we able to trust her entirely? Or at least trust her enough to be in a team with her.
*
It was a silent elevator ride upstairs when we arrived back in Quantico.
"There's something you all have to see," Garcia greeted us as soon as the elevator doors opened. "I'm glad you're here too." She said, looking pointedly at Joy who was rather pale and curious.
Garcia lead the way into the conference room and gestured for us to take a seat.
"What's all of this about, Garcia?" Hotch inquired curiously, his face a mask of concern.
"I think you should be asking her that, sir." Garcia said gently, looking at Joy as she took to her seat next to me.
"S-sorry?" She stuttered confusedly.
"I think we're potentially past the point of apologies..." Garcia said in a soft tone and clicked an image up onto the screen.
I turned to see a woman who looked extremely similar to Brenda, except with long brown hair and pale skin, the same bright blue eyes and a smile filled with naivety and innocence. The picture was an identity photo, and next to the picture was a badge which claimed the young woman was a member of the NYPD, and that her name was Melanie Brenda Joyner.
"I..." Brenda choked beside me and looked frantically around the room. "Where on Earth did you find that?" She demanded. "That's supposed to be classified."
"I have a way of doing things." Garcia said simply. There weren't any dramatics to her body language, no flair to her speech. Just a dead monotone that said she didn't trust what was happening in the room. And in all fairness, I didn't either.
"Okay what's going on?" JJ demanded.
"Is that you?" Morgan asked, pointing to the woman on the screen.
"I can't believe you're forcing me to do this," Brenda said in a quiet voice, shaking her head as she looked down onto the table. "I didn't relaise that in order to be a part of this team that I'd need to shed all of the skeletons in my closet," She snapped irritatedly, getting to her feet.
"I have secrets just like all of you," SHe explained. "I've worked for the NYPD, interpol, and the FBI, and so far, you guys are the most distrusting out of the lot of them. Hacking protected databases just to find out who I am?" She said incredulously, snatching the controller out of Garcia's hand.
"I'm disappointed," She whispered. "All you had to do was ask."
"We have." Hotch said simply.
"And I told you. It's classified. My past is my past for a reason, I'm here, for a reason. If you can't accept me now without knowing my past..." She shrugged. "Well then I guess I'll find someplace else to work."
There was a deadly silence that stretched out before us until I choked,
"Who are you?"
My voice came out quiet and wounded and I was surprised.
The woman in front of us heaved a sigh and looked skyward for a moment.
"This is me," She said, gesturing to the TV screen. "Melanie Brenda Joyner, born 1989 in England. I graduated in London, moved to the states, trained and worked in the NYPD for two years before joining Interpol. I worked with them for three years before joining the academy. I have done my time in training and I've worked my way here. This is who I am. Why I had to become Brenda, and why I have to keep that from you all, is classified,"
She looked at us all each in turn, her words hanging like a weight around us.
"Surely at least you would understand that?" Brenda said, looking specifically at Prentiss.
"You're really Melanie?" Morgan asked.
"I am." She affirmed confidently.
"So... You trained and joined the FBI as Brenda?" JJ clarified.
"Yes. I received new papers and buried my old life. I had to." She explained.
"So what do we even call you now?" I blurted in a hurt tone. I cursed myself for sounding so weak.
"Call me whatever you want," She sighed emphatically. "Just please don't ask me to explain my past to you. I done what I had to, to protect myself and my future."
There was a long and thick silence as we all inhaled the truth.
"So we don't even get an explanation for why you've lied to us?" Morgan demanded.
"I have given you an explanation-"
"No you haven't. You've given us some bullshit about classified files. If Garcia can hack systems and find out this information, why can't she- or you- just tell us?" He sounded upset and hurt, and I had to agree. I was just as hurt and upset as he was.
"Because," She said through gritted teeth. "Garcia should never have accessed those files," She rounded on Garica, glaring at her angrily. "Rather than breaking laws and firewalls and hacking the fucking Interpol database, you should have just asked me." It was clear that she was furious, and even more furious that we were angry too.
"Your birth name is Melanie?" Hotch asked in a small voice, peering up at her with glassy eyes.
"Yes, sir." Brenda replied in a quiet voice.
We were all silent as we processed what this meant. She was originally named after Hotch's mother.
"I can't believe she'd name you after my mother." He said in a detached tone, staring at his tablet where the photo of Melanie was.
"I understand if this is too much, sir, but I thought you had to know... All of you." Garcia said in a small voice and I looked up to see her looking specifically at me with tearful eyes and an apologetic pout.
I swallowed loudly and looked at everybody else around the table.
"You kept this from us for a reason, let's just hope it's a good one." Hotch said eventually, pushing to his feet and heading for the door. I watched him leave, mostly because I didn't have a clue how to react to what he'd said, nor what Bren- Melanie, had said.
I felt emotionally and mentally connected to Joy.
She was funny and smart and strong and beautiful; she was patient with me, not like the others. I was awkward and inappropriate at times because I had a tendency to speak for so long. Unlike the others Joy wouldn't interrupt, she'd smile and directly look at me and answer appropriately and make subsequent conversation.
She actually seemed to enjoy conversing with me, not like the others where most of the time I could tell it was just a burden as well as an annoyance.
She told me herself she found me funny and how she thought my intelligence was highly useful. right now those words merely left a bitter coating on my tongue and a solid lump in the bottom of my throat.
I pushed out from the table, still silent and all eyes turned to me.
"You okay Spence?" JJ asked.
"Fine." I snapped, snatching my satchel and heading for the door.
"Reid I'm sorry for not telling you!" Joy called after me. But I wasn't angry. I was disappointed.
Disappointed in ever thinking someone like Joy, or Melanie, or whoever the hell she was, could really be connected to someone like me.
I'd been fooled.
I was a fool.