I wake up to a throbbing pain in my head, the expression on my face instantly turning into a frown. Please, make it stop. I bring my hands to the sides of my head and apply pressure, hoping it would make the throbbing somehow more bearable, but it doesn't work. I open my eyes, slowly getting used to the bright light in the room and it doesn't take me long to realize I'm not home. Memories of last night start to flood my mind, the party, Elly, his hands all over me, Brad. My heart starts to race in my chest at the all too familiar situation I am in. I'm at Brad's again. I pull the duvet away from me and see that I'm not wearing my dress anymore but a guy's shirt and I can only assume it's his. The last thing I remember from last night is being in his arms and all those people looking at us. Did he finish what Elly had started? For some reason, something tells me he didn't. I wouldn't be in his bed, wearing his shirt if he did, would I? I gather all my strength and manage to get out of bed, goosebumps quickly appearing on my skin at the contact of the chill air on my bare legs and arms. I quietly make my way out of the room and into the living room where I hear a voice coming from what I assume is the kitchen. I decide to follow it and come face to face with the familiar head of brown curls I am starting to get used to being rescued by. When he sees me, his eyes wander down my body in the least discreet way possible and he hangs up the phone. I stand there at the door looking at him as his eyes finally make their way back up to my face. He's wearing the same pair of sweatpants he was wearing the last time I woke up at his place, only this time he's not wearing any shirt, his tattooed torso on full display. I find myself looking at the drawings that cover every single inch of skin on his chest and down to his rib cage. The skin below there has yet to be inked and I notice that my eyes are stuck on the outline of his abs for a little too long.
"You're awake", he states, leaning against the counter and breaking the silence in the room as we stare at each other. I feel my cheeks burn up as I realize he probably noticed me staring. I clear my throat in the most awkward way and bring my hands to the em of the shirt I'm wearing, trying to make it fall a little lower on my thighs, suddenly feeling shy at the idea of being in this outfit in front of him. "How are you feeling?" he asks, not breaking eye contact.
"Not great", I answer, trying hard to understand that guy. I can't take his hot and cold behaviour anymore. Why does he act like such an asshole but then keeps on saving me? The bigger question here is why do I keep putting myself in those situations? Parties are obviously not for me. "What happened to my dress?", I ask and the look on his face changes, a frown quickly replacing his blank expression.
"You don't remember what happened yesterday?", he asks as I walk into the room in hope to get some water.
"I do. Kind of...", I say, trying to remember all the details, but only flashes come to my mind. "I mean most of it. Can I have some water?", I add and he looks at me for a second before turning around and extending his arm towards the shelf and grabbing a glass. He fills it up with tap water and hands it to me. I take a step forward to be able to get the glass, my heart beating faster now that I'm closer to him, and start drinking, feeling better already. For some reason I don't feel in danger alone in this room with him, contrary to the other day. Something about him makes my body react in a weird way, and for the first time, I know it's not fear. Is him being half naked in front of my eyes igniting something in me? Most definitely. Is it his tanned skin covered in black ink, the messy curls framing his face, or his hazel eyes that are currently struggling to stay focused on mine? I don't know, but something is without doubt starting a fire in me.
"I don't think you'll be able to wear the dress again", he says and I suddenly remember Elly ripping it open before his hands started groping my breasts. A wave of shivers rushes through my body at the memory of what happened yesterday. Elly almost raped me. If Brad hadn't showed up in time, Elly would have finished what he started. I can still feel his hands on me, squeezing my tits roughly and his fingers in between my legs as I laid there powerless. I don't think there's anything worse than being powerless, at the mercy of a man while he does things to you he really shouldn't be doing. I feel dirty and sick.
It's only when I see Brad come closer to me, a worried look on his face that I realize tears have started falling down my cheeks. "Hey", he says, now standing right in front of me as he grabs the glass in my hands and puts it down on the counter. He brings a hand to my cheek and cups my face, forcing me to look at him in the eyes. "He's never gonna touch you again, okay? I promise", he adds before pulling me towards him in a hug. I don't fight and wrap my arms around his naked torso and hug him as hard as I can without even realizing it, tears falling down uncontrollably, ending their course in the crook of his neck. He doesn't seem to care as he holds me tight. We stay there, standing in each other's arms in the middle of the kitchen for a few minutes. Despite knowing what kind of person he is, I feel some kind of comfort in his arms, my wet cheek pressed against his bare chest. He's part of the same gang as Elly, so clearly they can't be that much different, can they? Brad doesn't let go until I'm ready, and when I finally am, I slowly let go of my grip on him, and I realize I must have left marks on his back considering how tight I was holding on to him. I dry my tears with the back of my hand as I take a step back from him, not sure how I'm feeling about what just happened. Why is he acting like this all of a sudden? I see him stare at me, his eyes still full of worry.
"Why do you keep on doing this?", I ask and the look on his face changes to confusion.
"Doing what?", he asks, apparently clueless. Come on, you can't act like you want to kill me one second, and let me hold on to you as if I was holding on to dear life the next without thinking I'd question you.
"This", I answer in reference to what just happened between us. "You saving me, acting like you care about what happens to me", I add and his face changes again. Now he looks pissed, exactly the way he's looked ever since I met him. "Why do you do that?"
"I wouldn't have to keep on doing it if you would just fucking give up on the idea of wanting to be a part of this world", he says, his voice hard and cold. "You're fucking ruining your life. Do you have any idea what Joaquin's gonna do to you when he finds out we sent you?", he continues as he takes a step towards me, breaking the small distance between us. I force myself not to take a step back and show him how intimidated I am, and lift my head up to be able to look at him in the eyes. "Do you think he's not gonna find out if you actually get us the stash? Have you even thought about what Isaac will do to you if you don't?", he adds, his entire body tensing up with his words. "Fuck Joy, I really tried", he says as he turns to the side and kicks the cupboard door underneath the sink before placing his hands on the counter and leaning forward looking as frustrated as ever. "I really tried", he finally adds with a sigh, leaving me speechless. What is he talking about? Tried what? Does he have some kind of hero syndrome or something? What he's saying makes no sense. I mean I know I haven't put much thought into my plan to get to Reggie, but in the end it doesn't matter because I know I'll probably not make it alive after I kill him. But Brad doesn't know that.
"Tried what?", I ask and he turns back towards me. He stares at me for a few seconds, not looking pissed anymore but more defeated.
"To keep you away from this life", he finally answers, his chest moving up and down probably as fast as mine. What the fuck is wrong with him? He doesn't know me, why does he pretend he cares? I just don't get it.
"But why?", I ask, completely lost. "You don't know me, so what's the point in trying to 'protect me from this life'?", I answer, air quoting the last few words. I can tell by the way he's looking at me there's something he's not telling me. He passes a hand in his messy curls and lets out a sigh.
"I won't let you die", he says and my heart stops for a second. So him acting like the worst asshole ever was him trying to protect me from getting killed? Because the life of a total stranger is worth that much at his eyes? I don't need his help. He's making everything worse. His 'protection' almost ruined everything. If he keeps on acting like this my entire plan is gonna fail.
"Why do you bloody care what happens to me?!", I snap as frustration takes over me. "I'm just some dumb, clueless daddy's girl, so why the hell do you feel entitled to save my worthless life?!", I add and I can tell he's about to lose it too. Maybe he's finally going to tell me the real reason he doesn't want me in. Because the whole 'I don't want you to die' story doesn't sound very real to me. He's clearly just feeling threatened, and doesn't want anyone else taking over his business. "Why, Brad?", I add as I push his chest, making him frown instantly. I can tell he's struggling to keep it together. "Why do you fucking pretend like you care?", I finally say as I'm about to push him again but he grabs my wrist before I can.
"Because I promised him!", he suddenly yells back, holding my wrist tight in his hands. "I promised your brother I'd keep you safe", he continues and this time my heart stops beating completely. My head lowers down, my eyes falling to his chest, rising up and down at a fast pace and everything around me suddenly disappears as tears start to blur my vision again. I feel like someone has dropped a piano on my head, air struggling to reach my lungs as I stand there, hyperventilating. Brad finally lets go of my wrists, and my arms fall loosely on my sides. He knew Charlie. Of course I was aware of that, but I didn't know he was close to him. Charlie told him about me? Why? Why did he ask him to protect me? Did he know what was about to happen to him? Why would he ask Brad to protect me if he didn't? Oh my God, he knew someone was after his life. Nothing in the world will ever be able to soothe the soaring pain in my chest at the thought that Charlie knew he was gonna get killed and faced it all alone.
Ahhhh you finally know why Brad has been acting weird with Joy! What did you think of the chapter? Part two of this chapter is coming next week 😊