south carolina
june 1990
***
Vada
//
Midsummer air is hot and smells like cotton candy, corn bogs, and just-cut grass. Flags and stars deck the fairgrounds, and loud parade music plays from the speakers. There's people everywhere from all across town celebrating the beginning of summer vacation.
The entire town mingles around me and Juliet as we find our way out of the busy areas of the concession stands and towards the beach where there's more people but less chaos.
"We should just leave, and go get drunk at my house." My best friend suggests. She's not having a good time like everyone else.
Probably because she and Zayn got in a huge fight yesterday and haven't spoken since. She's been not so secretly keeping an eye out for him, and I've been doing the same but with his band mate.
Things are still the same with our secret and it was becoming a routine. Every night I saw a little piece of that barrier he keeps up for everyone coming down in the slightest way. I was starting to get wrapped up in him without realizing it.
"He's probably not even here, Li." I say as we sit down in the sand and pass her the large slushy we've been sharing.
I try to use my words to convince myself more than her. "The boys probably think some silly fair like this is lame." I shrug.
The waves crash in front of us and the sun hangs low in the sky. It was almost dark and that meant the fireworks were starting soon.
"You're right, they're probably not even here. I should just enjoy myself without letting my piece of shit boyfriend ruin my fun." Juliet rolls her eyes as she slips the blue slushee. Our mouths match the same stained blue.
I laugh wrapping my arm around her. "That's the spirit!" I pull her up from the spot in the sand.
"Let's go have fun. We can ride the zipper until we puke." I suggest which makes her laugh and follow my lead with our hands attached.
For the next hour we secretly sip out of a flask that Juliet brought while conquering almost every ride the fair has. We eat corn dogs, and cotton candy, and by the end of it Juliet swears she's gonna throw up so we sit down at one of the picnic tables while I eat the rest of the funnel cake.
"Well, if it isn't Juliet Parker." A slightly familiar voice calls from next to us interrupting our conversation.
We both look over to the two tall boys we have gone to school with since kindergarten. Benny and his best friend Michael. Juliet jumps up immediately hugging them both.
"Where the hell have you been, you assholes!" she jokes as she pulls away from the hug.
Michael whose eyes are always trained specifically on my best friend answers with a shrug.
"You're one to talk, you never come around anymore." he nudges her as they all sit down in front of me.
"Hey, V." he then smiles at me.
I smile at him and his best friend as Benny eyes me with a familiar look. Hey," he says casually.
As he sits next to me, I offer him some of my funnel cake. He rips a piece off as our best friends continue catching up, and we joke about left over powdered sugar on my chin.
With the beach now crowded with people, almost the entire town is here. To get away from the chaos, we sit at the edge of the water further left from everyone else making our own private spot on the sand as we for the fireworks show to start.
Catching up with these childhood friends is like a breath of fresh air. It was like old times when we all met in freshman year and hung out all the time. Before some complicated stuff happened with Michael and Juliet.
The sort of complications like he had feelings for her but it was too late because she had already fallen too hard for Zayn. We eventually drifted at the end of senior year and haven't really talked since. But it was nice for a second because I remembered how much I enjoyed having them around.
Benny sits close by me. Knees up to his chest our shoulders are touching and I find his breathy laugh comforting as my head gets lighter from the alcohol.
It was like the last time when we were hanging out at the beach party. The innocent touches and glances. Never saying what was really on our minds. But I think we both knew the obvious attraction for each other.
Benny was sweet, he was the picture perfect boy type you take to meet your parents. Something about it didn't seem right to me though. He was all I deserved, yet I couldn't find myself wanting him at all.
Because I should be excited about the boy who looks at me like I put stars in the sky. He should make me have butterflies and all that stupid gushy stuff. But for some reason to me, it just wasn't enough.
At exactly sunset a huge BOOM! crashes through the air and we all jump. Startled, we look to the sky to see the colorful fireworks erupt one after the other.
We're all mesmerized by the show in the sky, as the fireworks boom colors across the water. But then like I can feel a weird tension, my eyes travel to the right of us across the beach of people but land on a specific group. My smile drops.
Across the large body of sand and crowds of people, they stick out like sore thumbs. The group of four misfits move through the crowds of people like they're searching for something.
My eyes land on their leader who is always posted in front of the other three as they trail beside him. Suddenly his piercing green eyes somehow find mine, and even though we're far away, I can see the sinister smirk pull on his lips.
I quickly look away in hopes he loses me again in the crowds of people in front of us. I turn to Li.
"Uh, we got a slight problem." I whisper to her.
She glances at me, frowning. "What?" she asks, confused.
"Your piece of shit boyfriend and his friends are here." I say and her eyebrows drop before she's sitting up.
"What, where?" She says like she's annoyed and my eyes travel back to where I saw them last but don't find them there anymore.
"They were just there," I say, still looking at the spot "I'm pretty sure Harry saw me though."
Juliet groans. "Great, cue psycho boyfriend." she rolls her eyes.
"Your boyfriend is here?" Michael's annoyed too.
"Apparently, but I doubt he will find us there's way too many people here." Juliet shrugs, clearly not too worried.
I glance over at Benny who's still watching the show of colors as they reflect on his face and behind his eyes. My attention gets swept away and I almost forget about the short interaction I had with dull green eyes just a few moments ago.
That all ends quickly though because when someone suddenly says "Juliet." from next to us, my carefree best friend who was actually enjoying herself today, freezes in her spot and we all look to our left to see the band close by.
The four boys all stare down at us and I watch as Zayn steps forward eyeing his girlfriend. "Juliet." he repeats again but she just gives him a bored look.
"What?" She says blankly and we all watch as Zayn grows more impatient by the second.
"I've been looking everywhere for you." he then says.
"Okay, and? I don't have to tell you where I am every second." she rolls her eyes.
My eyes go to the two guitarists, who seem like they want to be anywhere else but here. And then to Harry who seems more entertained but his eyes are on me instead of the bickering couple.
I find myself staring back and that's when I finally notice it after taking a good look at his face.
It's dark and the only thing that lights up around us are the booming fireworks in the sky. But when a red one erupts, the light shines on his face and I make out the nasty blue-purple bruise around his left eye.
With a drop of my eyebrows I frown as my eyes then move to his busted lip. He looks the most troubled I've ever seen him. The black and blue is obvious on his face but he acts like it's not even there or like it just doesn't bother him.
I can't help but wonder what the hell happened to him. Did he get jumped? Was he in a fight? About what? Questions ran through my mind as I continued staring at him as he did the same with me like he knew I was wondering.
"Can we just go somewhere else to talk?" I hear Zayn suggest calmly as the fireworks continue to sound intensely around us.
Juliet stands up from her spot on the sand and crosses her arms. "I don't wanna talk to you." she states the obvious.
"Don't be so fucking difficult Juliet, come on." He tries to take her hand but she pulls away and that's when Michael stands up now too.
Oh, God.
"Hey man, she says she doesn't wanna, leave her alone." he interrupts standing next to Juliet.
If Zayn wasn't angry before he sure as hell was now. He glares at the boy who stands a little too close to his girlfriend. "And who the fuck are you?" His voice is too calm as he curls his lip in almost disgust.
I can feel the tension start to rise and I know this might not end well. I stand up and Benny follows. "He's my friend you asshat, don't start a fucking riot over it." Juliet's glaring.
Zayn shifts his eyes back to his band mates where they all suddenly look interested in the conversation now that they notice Michael and Benny. Glares from all four of them have Michael slightly backing up.
He should know Zayn is crazy protective of his girlfriend. He should know that Li is off limits.
It was almost like they were all looking at him saying 'Bad. Move.'
Obviously Michael didn't understand this. Obviously he had a death wish for getting in the middle of Zayn and Juliet's dramatic relationship.
Zayn lets out a bitter laugh. "Friend? Right okay, so can you tell your friend to back the fuck up, before I punch his fucking face in?"
"Zayn—" Juliet warns but she gets cut off.
"I'm sorry, what did you just say?" Michael steps forward now too and that's when I look at Benny and I see the same worry on his face.
Zayn and Michael are now inches away from each other. But Zayn towers over him glaring harder and angrier than I've ever seen him. I look to Harry for help but him and the other boys just looked amused with the situation.
Something changes and the air gets more thick and intense with every step Zayn takes towards Michael. His eyes are dark and his jaw is tightened, as he clenches it until it looks like it's gonna break. I've never seen him this angry, and I even found myself backing up a bit.
"Li, baby, tell your friend I'm really not gonna give him another warning, if he doesn't back. the. fuck. up." His accent comes out stronger with every word he says.
Michael tries to make peace again "Look, dude—"
But Zayn's temper is known to be short. "I said," He then pushes at Michaels shoulders hard enough so he falls to the ground. "Back the fuck up," he then barks.
My eyes widened as snickers break out from the band and Juliet grabs Zayn's sleeve from going after him again.
I would be shitting bricks if I were Michael. The look Zayn is giving him is almost murderous as that kind genuine smile he seems to only give my best friend is long gone.
Quickly recovering, Michael gets up from the sand as Juliet stands in front of Zayn who smirks at our long time friend. Michael tries again, but Juliet cuts him off.
"Michael, it's fine. I got it." she reassures him with pleading eyes, her attitude changing from before.
Juliet knows her boyfriend and how crazy he can actually get, so she's really saving Michael from any further tragedy.
"Li—" Michael interjects but she shakes her head.
"Seriously Michael, you should just go." she says and his eyebrows drop as his eyes go to Zayn who still glares at him.
"But-" he tries again and this time another voice cuts him off.
"Listen to her if you know what's good for you, mate." Louis says, sounding bored.
"Yeah, run along pretty boy, before my friend here pushes your face through the sand." Niall speaks up too and he's smirking with the rest of them like it's a funny game.
Michael's eyes go to Harry too but the leader doesn't have to ever say much of anything. Because just a glare from has him backing up from his dark eyes and then he's quickly looking away.
Michael looks at Juliet one last time, before giving up and suddenly turns walking away. Benny turns towards me, giving me a half smile before going after his best friend.
I felt bad for the two, especially because they weren't doing anything wrong and we were all actually having fun. Of course the most troubled boys I knew had to come ruin it.
"Un-fucking-believeable," Juliet's eyes stare blazing at her boy, and I see the slight hint hopelessness behind her anger.
She storms away. "Don't fucking follow me," she tells him. He does anyway.
Left at the scene with the rest of the boys the fireworks still flashed in the sky. We all exchange the same looks or unsureness. So like the chaos from a few seconds ago never occurred, I sit back down and watch the rest of the show as Niall and Louis then sit on either side of me.
"Well, that was fun, wouldn't you say, V?" Niall nudges my shoulder with his, smiling with that up to no good curve.
"You guys just have to make shit dramatic all the time, don't you?" I roll my eyes at the same time Harry crosses over to sit next to the blonde.
Niall grabs the carton of cigarettes from his sweatshirt pocket and Harry hands him a lighter.
"It's our brand to royally fuck shit up, or did you not already know that?" Louis smirks at me. His blue are eyes always mischievous and up to no good.
"Oh, trust me I know," I nod letting my lips curve up the slightest bit.
As the final rally lights off one firework after the other, the sky blasts in all different colors and shapes only seconds apart before it ends. Then, everyone cheers and starts heading off of the beach, or some stick around going back to the carnival that was running all night.
"Hey Tommo, go get me a funnel cake." Niall demands.
Louis gives him a dirty look scoffing "Go get one yourself, fucker." he throws sand at him and I smile at their childish arguments.
"I heard they were selling molly at the fried pickle stand." Niall says nudging Harry who looks disinterested.
Still looking out at the water he has his knees pulled up to his chest and his elbows resting on them loosely, he speaks for the first time tonight.
"Is it just molly?" His voice is deep. "Because I could use something way stronger." he admits as he cracks his neck.
I look at his face and at the purple bruise around his eye again and then my eyes travel to his hands where it's then I notice his bruised knuckles. Jesus. What kind of shit did he get into?
"I think so, but I'm pretty sure Zayn's got some other shit on him." Niall shrugs looking around the beach and then his eyes land on me.
"Wanna do molly, V?" he smirks.
My eyes widen and I look at him like he's crazy. "No way." I shake my head and he laughs.
"Oh come on, it's fun," he pushes at me and I continue shaking my head. "Molly isn't even bad, you'll have a grand time." he reassures me.
"It's no use even trying with her Niall, the princess doesn't do anything she's not supposed to." Harry says as he lights a cigarette and then eyes me with a smirk as he blows the smoke out into the night air.
"Isn't that right, Vada?" he asks teasingly.
I grow irritated with his words and glare at him, sending him a dirty look. "I do things I'm not supposed to all the time, remember?" I fire back at him but it only makes his smirk grow wider.
"Oh come on," His dark eyes glowed under the night sky and the nasty bruise on his cheekbone just added to his sinister look.
"You don't have the balls for something like that, admit it you're too scared." he smirks wider when he notices I glare harder.
"Fuck off Styles, if she doesn't wanna have fun and do a little bit of drugs she doesn't have to." Louis says, sending me a wink as Niall snickers and I roll my eyes at them.
"You guys are assholes," I shake my head as my lips twitch but the curiosity suddenly grows in me anyways. "What does molly do anyways?" I ask Niall.
Niall's blue eyes are clear as he sends me a smile "It makes you happy, imagine feeling like you're on top of the fucking world, that every little thing in your life is perfect. It makes all your troubles go away." he explains. "It'll be like walking on sunshine." he cheekily says and it makes me smile.
That sounded exactly what I needed and I actually seriously considered the offer for a moment.
The chatter from the fairgrounds sound around us and the crashing of the waves from earlier settle down as the moon is bright reflecting off of the waters. I take in the scene and wonder if I should actually give in to these delinquents' offers.
"We doin' this or not, sunshine?" Niall stands up and Louis follows.
My eyes go to Harry who still sits next to me,
challenging his eyes on mine as he continues inhaling the tobacco this time blowing smoke my way.
With Juliet gone with her boyfriend, I had no other plans anyways. This could go really good, or really bad. But I guess we would find out either way.
I look back at Niall and stand up from my spot with a smile. "Fuck it." I shrug pushing down the nerves and a wide grin spreads across his face.
Wrapping an arm around me Niall cheers loudly. "Hell yeah!!" he shouts into the air.
Louis smiles, shaking his head. "And that ladies and gentlemen, is what you call peer pressure."
"You coming too, Styles?" Niall asks, his arm still loosely around my shoulders.
I look to Harry who gives me an amused look as he then stands up. He flicks his cigarette bud into the sand and smirks at me. "I suppose watching the princess get absolutely fucked up beyond belief would be entertaining." he shrugs carelessly.
I really had to stop letting him challenge me into stupid shit.
***