Chapter Song: Battle Cry - Imagine Dragons
~
I wake up feeling happy. Warm, like sunshine is directly above me. It radiates in my chest, that much I'm aware of. The soft feeling of my sheets creeps into my senses as I stretch out. I only get so far, an arm around me stopping any movements. I sigh happily and open my eyes slowly, running my hand back and forth against Leonardo's arm. He grumbles behind me and rolls over, dragging me with him so he's on his back with me lying on top.
Shuffling until I'm just pressed to his side, I kiss his shoulder as his head turns to regard me with sleepy eyes.
"Good morning. You're happy." He comments like it's not a trait of mine to be a morning person.
I shrug and relax against him, my head on his shoulder – my favorite place to be apart from the Defense base. "Trying to be. It's our last chance anyway."
Last seems to gut-punch both of us. We fall silent for a while. I listen to him breathe whilst the deadline of today tries to get through my subconscious. Trying to fight it off is harder than you would think but I'm determined to. I have until sunset. Making the most of the time is the priority since we know nothing about what's happening.
"We're going to lie like this again," Leonardo scoffs, breaking the silence. He sounds incredulous, as if he's coming back to his own senses. "We're moving in together later. We're going to kick ass somewhere whilst you literally kick my ass about some household thing."
"I can take you down without the household excuse." I say, raising an eyebrow.
Leonardo grabs my arm and squeezes my bicep. I've never been a fan of the fact my muscles are bigger than what's stereotypically expected, even though they give me strength. Leonardo seems to be a big fan of my body regardless and has mentioned it more times than I can count. "You probably could. I would get too distracted by your body."
I laugh and turn my head towards his neck. He wraps both of his arms around me and squeezes me tight, unwilling to let go. We kiss until the sun and is almost too bright in the room and our bodies are exhausted. My lips feel swollen when I pull back and insist that we go for breakfast. Leonardo, unsurprisingly, is in a great mood and agrees.
My throat tightens when we walk into the canteen later. It's our last breakfast here. Our last day here. The Outside comes at sunset to pick all forty of us up and drive us away. To where? Undetermined. But I know that it's going to be the start of another period of my life whether I like it or not. Starting from square one. Again.
Evelyn seems to be coping worse than I am. Her eyes are bloodshot as she serves breakfast. I murmur it's okay to her but she waves her hand in a signal to stop. When we sit down to breakfast, I mention it to Robert and he takes off in search of her. I like that she's got someone there for her, regardless of the circumstances. I only hope she always has him. That they always have each other.
My thoughts make me grab Leonardos hand and I don't let go until we separate at the main entrance to go to our designated sectors. My emotions are stable and calm when I arrive and I promise myself to stay that way. There's no need to be unnecessarily dramatic.
I will be in control. I will not be scared. I will make it through.
Mantras are all that get me through. The three hours it takes to make it to lunch are too long. With both Matt and I leaving, the sector is at a loss. Who takes over? Obviously they'll all have another vote but the thought of this sector, the one weve both worked so hard on, out of our control is nearly enough to throw me over the edge.
But it doesn't. I remain calm, and fearless, throughout the morning. When I walk out of the Defense base for the last time with Matt, I don't crumple to the floor like I want to. Instead I flick off the lights that once had to be earned and stack away the targets I've ruined with my own hours of practice. The chatter that comes from the tens of people leaving is only another signal of my success here. Success that can never be taken away no matter what war I'm thrown into.
It's no longer a dying base with fifteen people in it a day. With our efforts it's a fully functioning structured sector which will make the camp proud. I'm sure of it. I've already taught a small group how to make the timetables and only hope that they'll follow through on their promises to make Matt and I proud. Either way it goes, I'm proud of what we've created.
When I arrive at the canteen for lunch, I get Isaac's signal of a raised eyebrow immediately. The four leaders stand on top of the raised platform and the camp falls silent immediately.
"As you are all aware," Isaac begins, clearing his throat out of nervousness. "Forty of us are leaving for war tonight at sunset. As leaders we just wanted to come up and thank you."
He looks to Evelyn but she still looks ghostly pale. I wrap an arm around her shoulders and cover for her. "Thank you for trusting us to make the sectors work and giving us your vote when it counted. You've all made a massive difference without even knowing it."
"Although we're going to war, we hope that you can rebuild this system without us here. Now that the budgets are going to be sorted you should be more equipped," Leonardo smiles sadly. "Good luck, Marchwood. On behalf of all of the people going, we're going to miss you."
Greg is coming to war with us. With all of Oakwood leaving, too, there will be no room to mess with budgets. This will give the camp a lot more breathing space. Greg coming too war isn't an issue for me. His issues seem small, his jealousy childish, in comparison to what we're going into. I'm certain by the time we get on the battlefield he'll probably be struck down by a bullet. Harsh, but reality often is.
We're clapped off the stage. My cheeks feel hot and my jaw tight from holding back tears. I don't get lunch due to the rolling in my stomach. We've all got the afternoon off, too, so it's not like I'll need it for energy to train. Instead I get to my room and sit down with Evelyn on the floor. Our belongings are spread across it. She looks up at me with a wobbling bottom lip.
I hole up my hand. "Stop it. We're just packing. Nothing more. We're not going to cry."
She seems to need the reality check as she quickly comes back to reality. "You're right. Okay."
"This is all your stuff." I laugh, moving across the room. I think only a third of it is mine.
This causes a problem for Evelyn; her belongings are everywhere and it makes her packing a lot worse. I'm methodical about my own and soon I'm packed when Evelyn is only half-way. There's a knock on the door and Elise pushes in.
"Hi." She smiles, her eyes widening at the volume of clothes across the floor. We're only allowed to take essentials with us but the rest will be shipped back to any family they can track down.
"Hey," I smile beside my two boxes and bag that Im bringing with me. "The bases okay?"
"Yeah," She smiles and sits down on my bed beside me. "I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done. There's rarely female role-models in powerful positions in the outside world let alone in here. You've taught me a lot and I just wanted to say thank you."
I move up and hug her. I feel like an older sister which is strange since I've never been one. This is how I imagine it to feel, however. "Thank you for trusting me. To think you couldn't even throw a punch when you first came in."
She laughs and nods. "Awful, I know. Not like Greg was going to teach me, though. You've made a big difference in this camp, Audrey."
I hug her goodbye. She leaves with a smile. An image I want to remember. It's frustrating to me that I know I won't see her again. She wasn't chosen – why? They clearly have no real understanding of the camp so she, as well as many others, are stuck here. Training when she's in medical and better than some of those in Defense. I'm blinking away tears when Isaac, Robert and Leonardo walk into the room.
Leonardos eyes are red and I wrap an arm around his midriff, pulling him into me. I pout up at him. "Are you okay?"
He blinks, nodding whilst biting his lip. "Yeah, just more emotional than I expected."
Isaac stands by his side when I detach myself from him. We all sit on the floor, trying to help Evelyn pack but miserably failing. She eventually jams as much as she can into a fourth box and calls it a day. I rest my head against Leonardo's shoulder, grabbing his hand as we chuckle at her unorganized stress.
All of us sit together until sunset. Our last moments spent together in camp. I pray the whole time we sit on the floor of our room that it won't be the last time I see the people around me.
~~~~
Travelling makes me feel like I'm a time warp. We pull away from the camp as the sun disappears slowly behind the horizon. Oakwood's bus is in front of us, both driven by people in black masks from the Outside. It's silent as we travel - maybe that's what makes the time seem like it lasts forever.
We drive through the night before coming to a stop directly on a runway. We're bundled onto a plane with little information apart to strap ourselves in. There're only benches. I've never flown before and nearly pass out when we leave the ground. The wheels lift off with a dizzying sense of finality. Leonardo is somewhere near the front so I clutch Matt's hand as the we go higher and higher.
When we land roughly eight hours later, I feel woozy with the relief. There's no time to stop, however. Determined to stay undercover, the Outside lands on a secluded strip and then rushes us into more buses with tinted windows. I only get a blast of hot air and a strike of blinding bright sun before I'm back in the coolness of the bus.
The writing on the road signs is foreign but they don't last long. Soon all signs stop and eventually the road trails off too. Bumpy gravel shakes the bus as we drive for hours. Soon civilization dies out. Although there's still houses, they're all wrecked. Broken windows, spray painted doors. A battlefield is always imagined to be a grassy green field but in fact it's in a community. A former one, anyway. Murmurs of anticipation work their way around the bus as we pull to a stop. Although there's no sound of bullets, I'm highly suspicious. I pray for a bullet proof vest – like the ones we had in camp – and feel strangely vulnerable.
As we arrive at the camp, I have a moment of question. I still don't know where we are. I don't know who were fighting against. What were fighting for. Joining this program was a way to control my life and get away from a neglective family. How am I here? Fighting for a cause I still don't know anything about.
I feel a wave of sympathy blast over me as I think about our enemies. People don't start wars for no reason. They started this because they were tired of being treated a certain way. Just like how I left home. What if they're fighting for their rights and I'm arriving to take away not only them but also their life? We've been trained for the past eight years to kill and show no mercy. What if there's civilians on the front line that I have to kill? I've always assumed it would be a trained army we're facing against but it might not be.
What if I would fight for their beliefs but I can't because I chose to sign up to a military program at sixteen?
A jolt of shock works its way through my system when I realize there's nothing I can do about the possibility that they're innocent. I have a job to do. A mindset to possess. If I want a shot at making it out of here my mindset is going to have to refine again. Marchwood made me think more progressively but I must shut that down now. Only victory can be on my mind at all times.
No more progressive thoughts or emotions. Only drive and a thirst for success will get me through. This is what I've trained for – nothing will steal the glory away from me now.
We're sneaked into an underground bunker which exists below three houses. It's long and stretched. There are partitions between some beds near the back but theres mainly just ammo. Guns and bullets lining the wall. Only ten people are selected to stay. Isaac is one of them. I assume this place is a bunker for those injured. If they're even aware of Isaacs abilities, that is.
The rest of us are put into groups by officials. Somehow, Leonardo and I's groups end up together. We don't hold hands – we're surrounded by those from Oakwood and Outside officials – but having his presence there is comforting.
Through another forty-five minutes of moving through back alleys of houses on high alert, we're placed in a two-story house. It's windows are boarded up. We're told we'll have a different place to stay every one to two nights. All residents have been cleared out or are on the opposing side – there are tens of houses for us to move around in.
I make my way up to an assigned room. A man from Oakwood is there. He grunts at me and falls into his bed, rolling over to catch some of the precious sleep we were instructed to get. It's the middle of the afternoon but apparently the attacks happen during dark. I see nothing else to do so I drop my one bag and follow orders.
Sleeping in my clothes. I smirk to myself. It's been so long. It almost feels comforting to come back to it. Despite my earlier intentions to sleep my mind continues to whirl and go over every possibility of the next twenty-four hours. The next year. How long will I be here?
Panic plagues my never-ending thoughts. I feel like I'm going to fall into oblivion when the four knocks against the wall resonate through the room in a steady beat. I allow one tear to trail down my face, nothing more.
Four knocks. Our code.
We will get through.
The possibilities seem slim when the enemies attack at midnight.
~~~~
Author's Note:
Everyone praying for survival? Good ;)
My head is split in two over this story. Half of me wants to write a happy ending with no war and the other is more ruthless. I'm trying to compromise with both!
Do you think they'll all survive? How do you think the war will go?
I hope you noticed Audrey's old mindset slowly creeping in throughout the chapter. Oakwood Audrey is coming back ;)
Next week's chapter is Audrey's life in war...that's all I'll reveal for now!
Much love,
Jade x