It all happened so fast.
You had been initially surprised when Kylo pulled the trigger first. Using a gun in a public place, even if it was loud in the club and you were in the private room by yourselves, was never the ideal thing to do.
But then seeing Kylo crumple to the floor, a blood stain quickly collecting on the white material of his shirt, put you into complete shock.
You couldn't move at first, a statue in the midst of all of the chaos. You stared at Kylo, not believing it, allowing one of the Knights to grab you and move you behind him, shielding you as everyone started shooting at each other, protecting you. You didn't even register which of the Knights that it was. You only had one thing on your mind: Kylo.
You weren't sure how much time had passed until all of the men who had been there to complete the transaction, were dead on the floor and the Knight that was holding you back let you go because there was no threat left.
Instantly, you went right over to Kylo, collapsing on the ground next to him, "Kylo." You breathed, taking your head into your hands as you stared down at him.
The Knights were all scrambling around the two of you, getting together the workers who witnessed it all and cleaning up what they could. A few of them left to get the car ready for Kylo, knowing that they needed to act quickly.
Kylo's eyes were fluttering open and closed and you took in the way that his breathing was shaky, not in a clear rhythm. "I got shot. He shot me." He said to you, in just as much shock as you were currently. This deal wasn't supposed to go like this, it should've been so easy.
"Yeah." You agreed with him, letting tears fill your eyes now that reality was setting in. Kylo got shot. "You're okay, though. Everything's okay, Kylo." You tried to assure him.
Your eyes went down to the blood on his shirt and you felt like you were going to get sick when you saw how much of it that there was. You made sure not to show it on your face, not wanting to worry him. Without disturbing where he'd been shot and causing him any pain, you lifted his suit jacket, trying to see how much it had actually damaged him. You were no doctor but it didn't look good.
After saying the words out loud, that he was shot, you noticed the way that Kylo started panicking. The fear of the situation was setting in: he might be dying. He was breathing heavier now, hyperventilating and attempting to move into a sitting position so that he could look at the wound.
It made you start to cry, not just because you were scared that he might not be okay but because you were seeing him in such a vulnerable position. You'd seen him nervous before, maybe even afraid, but you'd never seen him like this. It hurt your heart and it made this so much harder. But you knew you needed to step up, he needed you right now.
"Kylo," You gripped his face slightly tighter, keeping him on the ground so he couldn't see how bad it was, "I know it hurts but you'll be fine, we're going to fix this, okay?" You told him, trying to assure yourself with your own words.
Kylo was still squirming underneath you, trying to adjust to the pain and trying to calm himself down. This was not how he wanted to die. He didn't want to die at all...he wasn't ready to leave you yet.
"The car's here, the path to the back door is cleared out." You heard a voice come from behind you, Trudgen. "We gotta get him up." He told you, motioning for you to move away from him so that they were able to get to him.
You nodded, stealing one last glance at him before starting to move to your feet, you didn't have time to hesitate.
Kylo's weak hand searched for you, gripping your arm. You could feel him shaking against you. "Don't go." He begged, coughing slightly as he did so. His eyes were on yours, eyebrows knitting together in pain and desperation. "Please."
"I'm right here." You assured him, "We just have to get you out of here, okay? I'm not leaving you." You told him, trying to hide the way that his trembling hand on you was making you want to sob. Kylo was always so strong, physical pain never got to him. But this was different and it was terrifying to you.
Kylo wasn't convinced, only tightening the way he was grabbing onto you, tears pricking his eyes too. This couldn't be it. He wanted so much more time with you.
"Come on, man, we have to go." Vicrul was down on the ground next to you, sympathetically prying the man's hand from your arm. He sent you a look that told you to move before Kylo could grab for you again and you quickly stood up, wiping at your eyes.
Trudgen and Vicrul carefully put their hands underneath Kylo, lifting him from the ground and onto his feet. Seeing him standing made it more real for you, to see him how he usually was. Only this time the majority of his shirt was deep red and all the color was drained from his face.
Kylo's eyes were right on you as he shuddered in pain, wrapping his arms around the back of his men's necks so that they could help walk him out to the backdoor. He had a million thoughts running through his head, none of them good.
"Come with us." Vicrul told you, voice strained from the task of having to hold Kylo upright and walk with him towards the door.
You didn't need to be told twice, quickly trailing behind the three of them, wishing you could be more useful in this situation. Your stomach was in knots, it was all happening so quickly.
You all made your way to the back door, no one noticing the group of you due to the dark lighting and loud music, the alcohol coursing through everyone's veins. When you were all outside, the Knights helped Kylo get into the back seat of his car, laying down on the seats as much as he could.
"Can you drive a stick?" Vicrul asked you, wiping some blood from his hands off on his jacket.
You had to tear your eyes away from Kylo through the back window of the car. "Uh-it's been a while but yeah, I can." You answered him. The car you originally learned how to drive with had been manual, that's the car your dad drove. But you'd lived in the busiest part of the city for so long that you hadn't needed to drive in years.
"Good." Vicrul tossed you the car keys, making his way to the passenger door. "You're driving." He said simply, slipping into the seat, shutting the door behind him.
Any other time, you would've argued that you didn't know how to drive well enough to get you three anywhere but this was different you had to figure it out. You had to do it for Kylo.
You rushed over to the driver's side, slipping your high heels off as you sat down in the seat and tossing them over by Vicrul's feet, knowing you wouldn't be able to drive well with them on. You started the car, hand going onto the gear stick nervously, pressing down the clutch.
Kylo said your name softly, his voice strained from the pain he was experiencing. He tried to reach for you in the front seat but couldn't quite get to you and he dropped his hand, it hurt too much to strain towards you.
"I'm here, Kylo, we're bringing you home." You assured him. You felt a new surge of determination, knowing that you needed to get your shit together so that you could get to the apartment.
"Call the doctor, have him wait in the lobby for us." You ordered Vicrul, quickly yanking at the handbrake and shifting so that you could move out of the parking lot, honking at the drunk people who were getting in your way.
You sped onto the busy street, not even thinking about a speed limit or traffic laws because you could hear Kylo's groaning and labored breathing behind you and all you could focus on was getting him back and making sure that he would be safe. It had been a long time since you drove but it was coming back naturally now, just an extension of yourself because you could only focus on the man in the seat behind you.
On the phone, Vicrul told the doctor the seriousness of the situation, telling him that he needed to bring all the medical supplies that he had. He explained what happened with the least amount of incriminating details possible and where Kylo had been shot.
When Vicrul hung up, it was clear that the call didn't go well. "We gotta go to the hospital." He said to you in a low voice, not wanting Kylo to hear.
"What?" You hissed, glancing over your shoulder so that you could switch into the far left lane, knowing you needed to turn around if you were going to go to the hospital instead of your apartment building.
"It's too serious, he can't treat it at home." Vicrul muttered to you, shaking his head with a noise of frustration. You were all going to have to come up with a story of how it happened before you all got there, the cops were going to be involved now.
"Okay, it's fine. Everything's fine." You told yourself unconvincingly, speeding through a yellow light, ignoring the way that you felt like you were going to be sick.
"I'm gonna fucking die." Kylo groaned from the back seat, the panic still rising at his current situation. He was lying curled up in the back seat, gripping the leather and running his hand over the back window, leaving behind streaks of blood everywhere that he touched. "I'm gonna die in the back of my fucking car."
"No you aren't." Vicrul corrected him, looking back at him. "We're almost there, you're going to be fine, Ren, snap out of it." He said sternly, trying to hide his own fear. He'd never seen his boss like this, he was always the one assuring the rest of the Knights when they got hurt, Vicrul had never been in this position before
Kylo was covered in a thin layer of sweat and shaking. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this hurt. Although he felt like might not make it and there were a thousand things he should be worrying about if he were to actually pass away, he could only think about you. He said your name again, this time the sob leaving his chest as he did so, at the thought of leaving you behind. There was so much more he wanted to experience with you, it wasn't fair.
You let yourself start to tear up again too, hearing how helpless he sounded as he tried to get your attention. You reached a hand behind you, trying to find him in the back seat somewhere, trying to reach him.
Kylo lifted a hand up, gripping yours that was searching for his. You tried not to react to the warm sticky feeling against your skin, knowing he was covered in his own blood. "We're almost there, Kylo, just hang on, okay?" You told him, wiping quickly at your tears with your free hand, stopping them from clouding your vision.
Kylo said nothing now, instead he kept his hand in yours, comforted by feeling you close to him. He took in shallow breaths, finding it harder to breathe because of the throbbing feeling in his abdomen.
You were in a fog as you pulled up to the hospital, to the outdoor emergency room entrance, the red lights of the signs lighting up your car. Vicrul was instantly out of the vehicle, rushing inside the hospital so he could get assistance.
"No." Kylo whined behind you, seeing where you three were. "No, no, no, we gotta go home-fuck," He winced, shifting in the seat, "We gotta go, princess, I can't be here." He was muttering, stumbling over his own words, barely even coherent.
You turned in the front seat so that you could face him. "We'll handle everything. You can't go home right now." You told him, reaching back so that you could grab his hand again. Kylo was always cool to the touch but you noticed his coldness more now than before.
Kylo's blinking eyes met yours, twitching, lip quivering. "What if I don't make it?" He asked you, shuddering at the thought and front the agony he was in. He looked more childish and even innocent than you'd ever seen him, looking at you in a desperate panic.
Your mind went back to what he'd said to you before he left for his most recent trip. You had been sitting in his lap, helping him pack his bag when he admitted it: "For the first time I finally have something to come back home to." He said in a soft voice, squeezing at you as he did so. "I'm nervous..." He trailed off, "I'm nervous that I won't have that anymore."
Kylo had been nervous to just leave you for a night, not wanting to get hurt and be unable to come back home to you...this was no different, his worries were coming true.
You shook your head, you couldn't even think about it, Kylo dying wasn't an option. "You're gonna make it, Kylo, stop thinking like that." You said, not even realizing the tears spilling down your cheeks, wondering what would happen if Kylo wasn't able to get better.
He tilted his head back in pain and frustration, "Look at me." He coughed out, squeezing your hand to the best of his abilities. He couldn't tell if you were staring at him or not, his vision was fading in and out.
You were already looking at him, you couldn't bring yourself to look anywhere else but him and how he was doing. "What is it?" You asked him, moving in your seat so that you could get closer to him, not wanting him to have to speak louder than what was comfortable
"I have to tell you something." He said, his voice shaking as he looked over at you with widened eyes, blinking away some fearful tears that were formed in his eyes. He then let out a small sob, "I should've said it before...I-I should've told you all the time, fuck. I wasted so much time-" He was rambling now, losing his train of thought because of how much he was panicking.
"Kylo." You interrupted him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, "What is it?" You repeated, wanting him to tell you instead of rambling and freaking himself out even more. You weren't convinced that he even had anything to tell you, he was so out of it at this point, you assumed he might just be talking nonsense.
You glanced over at the doors of the hospital and saw Vicrul rushing out, hospital staff quickly following behind him, a stretcher with them.
You looked back at Kylo, "Talk to me, Kylo." You said gently, though your voice was rushed too, knowing that there wasn't much time left that you two would be able to talk to each other.
Kylo could barely think, he was barely awake. And what he was going to admit to you made him hesitant and nervous, no matter how much he meant it and how much he wanted you to know. He said your name in a cautious way, staring at you, "I just...I need you to know..." He trailed off, losing his breath, before continuing, "I lo-"
Kylo's statement was cut off, the doors of his car being yanked open and the previously silent interior being filled with shouts and urgent directions.
You watched as the nurses began helping Kylo out of the car, assisting him to lay on top of the stretcher while they started assessing the damage, talking to each other in quick voices, being efficient.
You were out of the car as well, bare feet on the pavement as you did so. "Kylo." You said, moving closer to him, ignoring the way that the workers were telling you to back up. You had a feeling about what he was going to say to you...He had been so close.
'I love you'
You needed to hear him say it, you had to. What if he didn't make it and you never had the chance again?
"Kylo!" You yelled, jogging after the stretcher that they were beginning to wheel into the building, wanting to be close to him again so that he had the opportunity to tell you.
"Ma'am, please stay back." A nurse said, waving you away with her hand, just trying to do her job to the best of her ability.
You ignored her, without even really meaning to, your mind was just focused on the man that they were transporting inside.
In a rush, Vicrul was in front of you, grabbing you by your shoulders so that you weren't able to chase after them in the way that you were trying to. He understood how much you wanted to be with him but he also understood that they needed to do their job without distractions to make sure that Kylo was safe. He was also completely oblivious to the admission Kylo had almost made to you as he told you, "Come on, let them take care of him."
You yelled Kylo's name again, standing on your toes to see clearly over Vicrul's shoulder. But the automatic doors were already sliding shut and it was just the two of you now outside, Kylo being wheeled away on the inside.
"God dammit." You groaned, hands in your hair in frustration. You had been so close, he almost said it to you, it wasn't fair.
Vicrul grabbed your hands, holding them securely. "Look, let's move the car and get into the waiting room, they're going to fix him and it's all going to be okay." He told you, trying to assure you. He had no idea that you weren't only worried about Kylo's safety but also about the fact that you felt like you'd missed your one opportunity to share your feelings with him.
You nodded, trying to pull yourself together as you numbly walked towards the car, ignoring the small bits of rock you were stepping on with your shoeless feet, it didn't even matter. You couldn't stop thinking about the look on Kylo's face before they put him on the stretcher...
You'd been in the hospital waiting room for hours now and it was torture. You hadn't heard any news about Kylo yet and you weren't sure if that was a good sign or a bad sign.
At some point, Ushar joined the two of you and brought a bag of clothes for all of you to change into since you and Vicrul had been drawing a lot of attention from everyone around you in your fancy dress clothes covered in blood. You already had enough on your mind, having to deal with everyone's stares and whispers hadn't been exactly helpful.
You had to attempt to wash Kylo's blood from your skin in the bathroom and now you were as clean as you could've been considering the circumstances, sitting in a pair of Ushar's sweatpants and t-shirt, head in your hands and foot tapping against the floor anxiously.
You felt Vicrul's hand on your back, gently rubbing you there, trying to make you feel better. You all had been silent for the past hour, not knowing what to say to each other. Vicrul could sense that you needed something to distract you, a moment where you weren't thinking about Kylo. "Me and Jessica broke up." He informed you, continuing his motion against your back.
As random as the statement seemed, you were thankful for it, it gave you something to preoccupy your mind from the current situation. "Really?" You asked him, sitting up straighter so that you could look over at him.
He shrugged, "Yeah." He said simply, not thinking it was a huge deal, or at least pretending that he didn't. "I'm pretty sure she was cheating on me." Vicrul explained, moving his hand away from you now that you weren't bent over with your elbows on your knees.
You furrowed your eyebrows, "But you cheat on her all the time. What's the difference?" You asked him. You really appreciated the fact that he was here with you, he was so easy to talk to compared to the other Knights, you genuinely liked his company.
Vicrul laughed, the first time either of you had cracked a smile since you'd been at the club, before any of this happened. "I didn't cheat on her." He said, his tone saying 'duh'.
You gave him an incredulous look, thinking back to everything the two of you had done together.
"You mean with you? No, come on," He asked you, grinning, "I've never even kissed you." He said. You could tell that he genuinely believed that the sexual acts you two had been a part of didn't count as cheating.
You raised your eyebrows, unable to stop the breathless chuckle from leaving your chest. It was mind blowing to see the intricacies of Vicrul's personality. He was so sweet and thoughtful, he was insightful and emotionally intelligent. But at the same time, he was so oblivious and god knows the things he did for the mob when you weren't around to witness it.
"I'll just say that if I found out Kylo was doing the same things me and you did, with another girl...I'd cut his balls off." You said to him, shaking your head at the thought of Kylo touching another girl behind your back, even if there wasn't sex or kissing directly involved.
Vicrul smirked, being reminded of how similar you and Kylo really were even if you hated to admit it. "I believe that." He told you honestly.
You didn't really hear Vicrul's response because the mention of Kylo made you feel sick again and you felt tears prick at your eyes, imagining his face as he laid on the ground of the private room in the club, the sound it made when he was hit with the bullet...
Vicrul saw the way that you were beginning to break down and he cussed under his breath, he hadn't meant to make the situation worse, he'd just been trying to help. "So, if you have any hot single friends, you should let me know." He said, attempting to lighten the mood and distract you again.
You quickly wiped at your eyes, not wanting him to see the way you had started to fall apart again. You knew he was trying hard to make you feel better and you didn't want him to think that his attempts were useless. You actually thought about it for a second. You really didn't have any friends, let alone hot single ones that would be good enough for Vicrul.
"A hot single friend? I do have one, actually." You said, biting the inside of your cheek to hold back your grin as you motioned across the room, "There he is." You said, pointing to Ushar who was currently shaking a vending machine, attempting to get more bags of chips from it, as if he didn't have a stack of money in his pocket to pay for them.
"Jesus." Vicrul laughed, watching the way that Ushar began yelling at the machine, kicking at the side of it because he hadn't been able to loosen anything enough to fall into the bottom. "I don't think he's my type." He joked and you couldn't help yourself from joining him in a small bit of laughter.
"Fair enough." You said, your laughter dying down when you remembered where you were and why you were there.
"So, what's our game plan?" Ushar asked as he made his way back over to the two of you, plopping down on the seat next to you and opening a bag of chips that he had actually paid for.
"I don't know how this works...I don't know what would be the best story but I was thinking, couldn't we just say that we were at the club and there was a driveby shooting when we were leaving or something?" You asked, looking between the men on either side of you as they thought it over.
"We were in a big group and Kylo was the one who got shot, the valet already had his car pulled up so you drove him here right away..." Vicrul muttered to himself, trying to piece it together.
"Yeah, that works...Let's go with that. The liquor store down the street from the club owes us," Ushar interjected, sitting up as the ideas were coming to mind, "I'll get a few workers to say that they heard the gunshot. I'll have someone go talk to the valets and club owners about being witnesses too. The evidence in the private room is already gone" He said, already pulling his phone out to do so.
"What about the workers who were in the room with us?" You asked him, wanting to make sure you weren't forgetting any loose ends. Usually, it was Kylo's job to keep everything together.
"Gone." Ushar said to you simply before he got up from his seat, going outside so he could make the phone calls in private. "Be right back."
'Gone', you repeated to yourself. You tried to act casual as you thought about what it meant. The bartenders, the security guards, everyone who had been involved was dead. You tried not to think about how nervous the girl had been that you kissed, how hesitant she'd been about everything and how the Knights had to shoot her to make sure word didn't get out.
You started spiraling, feeling guilty that you pulled her onto the stage with you. Maybe she would've been in a different room if it hadn't happened, serving drinks in the main room of the club instead.
"Don't do that." Vicrul told you, seeing the way that your eyes were blank and the color was draining from your face. "It's not your fault." He assured you. He was used to it by now, the innocent strangers that lost their life because of the mob, but it hadn't been easy in the beginning. Vicrul knew now that it was just the way this life went, nothing was lawful, nothing was fair.
You were going to argue with him but then you noticed the way a doctor was making his way towards you two with a clipboard in his hands, looking it over as he got closer.
"You're here with Mr.Ren, right?" The doctor asked, before holding his hand out and introducing himself, explaining that he'd been the one to perform Kylo's emergency surgery.
As guilty as you'd been feeling a moment ago, your thoughts were now only preoccupied with Kylo's safety and to hear how the surgery went. 'He's okay, he's okay,' you repeated in your mind over and over again, desperately trying to manifest the doctor into saying it.
"He was extremely lucky to get here when he did, actually he was very lucky in general." The doctor explained, eyes scanning over the chart in his hands. He explained to the two of you that the bullet hadn't pierced any of his vital organs, instead it had entered and exited by his side. The amount of blood had been due to the tissue that had been lost but besides a scar, it wasn't going to leave any permanent damage. The doctor explained a few more details but you weren't listening, you were so caught up in the fact that it sounded like he was alive.
"He just woke up a few minutes ago. He's in stable condition and he's ready for you guys to come back and see him." The doctor informed you, giving you both a small smile, looking just as relieved as you felt. It had probably been extremely nerve wracking to have a mob boss's life in his hands, knowing the potential risks he was getting himself into.
You started crying again, for what felt like the thousandth time that night. But this time they were happy tears.
Kylo was okay.
Kylo was laying on his hospital bed, trying to ignore the constant beeping coming from the heart monitor next to him, it was just making his head hurt worse. He hated being here, he felt so exposed and vulnerable under the fluorescent lights and having to rely on strangers to keep him alive.
But he couldn't deny the fact that he was so grateful to even be alive right now.
As he bled out in the back of his car on the way here, Kylo really thought that he was going to die, the doctor told him that he almost did. He'd had close calls in the past but nothing that hurt as badly as that did.
It was also the first time he had something to live for. Watching you take control of the situation and drive him here while comforting him the entire time, made him realize how he wasn't ready to leave you. Not even close, he needed to experience so many more things with you.
You were practically jogging down the long hallways, wanting to get to Kylo and see him, to make sure for yourself that he was actually okay. When you reached his hospital door, the numbers outside of it matching with the ones the doctor gave you, you gently knocked.
"Come in." Kylo's raspy voice called out, swallowing hard at the hope that it was you on the other side of it and not another nurse coming to check on him.
You glanced over at the men at your side and Vicrul gave you nod, his way of telling you to go ahead. Him and Ushar would let you two have some alone time.
As you opened the door, you froze when you saw him. Kylo was propped up in bed, a hospital gown on and hooked up to various machines. You could tell that they'd attempted to wash his blood off of him to the best of their abilities but there was still some red by his forehead and on his arms. He looked so emotionally small and exhausted.
Kylo was frozen too as he caught sight of you, the beeping on the monitor next to him speeding up just slightly. The second he realized he'd been shot, he could only think about you and how he needed to pull through to be with you, he couldn't die and leave you behind. And now you were here in front of him again and he was alive and he wasn't sure what he'd done to deserve something so fortunate.
You made your way over to him, shutting the door behind you.
"Hi, princess." Kylo said to you softly, a smirk entering his eyes that let you know that it was really him, this was the Kylo you were familiar with as opposed to the helpless injured one you'd been with earlier. "I made it." He said to you, trying to hide how emotional it made him to be reunited with you.
"You did," You grinned, too excited and too tired to wipe away your tears, "I told you that you would." You said to him, looking him over. You wanted to touch him, you wanted to crawl on top of him and hold him tightly to you but he was hooked up to so many machines and was in such a fragile state you knew that was far from an option.
Kylo noticed the way that you were staring at him and it made him embarrassed, not enjoying being exposed like this, even when it was with you. "Will you still wanna be my girl if I have a big nasty scar?" He asked you, trying to lighten the heaviness of the room.
You chuckled, through your tears, nodding. It was usually your job to resort to humor and it warmed your heart to see Kylo do it right now, taking a page from your book. "I love your scars, Kylo." You told him honestly, unable to help yourself from reaching out and placing a gentle hand on his cheek, thumb running over the faint scar on his face. "I was so scared." You admitted in a quiet voice.
"Me too." Kylo admitted, his bottom lip twitching, almost trembling before he got control over it.
The two of you stared in the other's eyes, both of your minds going in the same direction. You were so thankful to still have each other. Your situation wasn't perfect, far from it, but you were in it together.
"Come here." Kylo muttered, wanting you close, not wanting you to see the way that his eyes were glistening himself.
You carefully did as he said, making sure to lean over in a way that didn't put any pressure on him but instead on the mattress below him. You broke eye contact only to shut your eyes and kiss him, instantly sighing against the familiar feeling.
Kylo hummed against your lips, cursing himself in his mind when he felt a few tears leave the sides of his eyes. He knew it before but after his near death experience, it was very clear to him that he was in love with you and needed you.
"Don't ever try to leave me again." You mumbled against him, "Please." You added, your voice cracking slightly at the thought of having to go through that again. A part of you knew that he couldn't promise you that it wouldn't happen. His whole life was built around this dangerous risk but you needed his reassurance right now.
"I won't, I'm here." He told you, trembling, kissing you again to hide how overwhelmed he was. There really was no way that Kylo could tell you that he'd never end back up in a hospital bed but after tonight, he was going to be so much more careful, he couldn't put either of you through that again.
When you pulled away, you noticed the way that Kylo had been tearing up and you averted your eyes, knowing better than to make him aware that you saw. You knew he already felt so raw after everything he'd been through tonight, you didn't want to make it worse to acknowledge his emotions that he tried so hard to hide away.
Instead, you grabbed for a seat against the wall and pulled it up closer to the side of his bed, taking a seat on it and putting your hand against his arm, not wanting to disturb the monitor that was hooked up to his finger by holding his hand.
"What are we telling the cops?" Kylo asked you, wiping his eyes discreetly on the material of the gown on his shoulder, trying to get back to business and talk about things that made more sense to him.
A part of you felt proud that he was asking you, trusting you to have come up with a plan while he'd been in surgery. In a hushed voice, you told him about everything he'd missed, what the story was that everyone was sticking to, the fact that everything was taken care of.
Kylo couldn't take his eyes off of you as you spoke to him. You've adjusted to this life so well and so quickly, like it was where you were supposed to be. It made him satisfied but at the same time, a part of him felt so guilty...His goal from the moment he met you was to break you and corrupt you and he'd done so successfully...He felt the weight of reality, he brought you into his difficult dangerous life. He'd been so selfish to drag you into this with him.
Kylo snapped out of it, physically shaking his head a little to get those thoughts out. He glanced at the IV drip and decided that whatever painkiller he was currently on was making him emotional and making him overthink everything.
"You okay?" You asked him, concerned, noticing the way he seemed to be spacing out in the middle of your explanation.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He told you sadly, giving you a hint of a smile.
A knock on the door stopped you from questioning it anymore. After Kylo told whoever was on the other side to come in, you glanced over to see Vicrul peeking his head inside.
"We have company." He said, voice clearly irritated and soon, he was moving out of the way.
Officer Poe Dameron walked into the entrance of the hospital room, a determined look on his face as his eyes went to you and Kylo huddled close to each other. "You're alive." He said to Kylo, not even trying to hide the disappointment in his voice.
"I haven't even been awake for an hour and you're already here to question me?" Kylo asked, glaring daggers at the officer, "Must be a slow night at the police station. Not enough unarmed civilians to terrorize on the streets?" He asked him sarcastically, not intimidated even the slightest bit by the badge on the man's chest.
Poe ignored the jab, shaking his head. When the cops and detectives on the mob's case heard about Kylo being at the hospital, they all sprang into action. This was the best early Christmas gift for them, a chance to catch Kylo Ren in the middle of a crime. "If you want some rest, I can talk to her first." He said simply, pointing at you.
You frowned, glancing between the two men. You knew you were going to be questioned but that didn't mean you were thrilled for it to happen. "Fine by me." You said, hoping you sounded more brave than you felt, wanting to give Kylo some time with Vicrul and Ushar before Poe was alone with him.
You stood up from your seat, staring at Kylo in an assuring way, wordlessly telling him that you had this under control... at least you hoped you did.
Kylo watched you, feeling the same sense of responsibleness. As much as he loved seeing you be able to handle this, he hoped that it was for the best. He hoped he didn't completely ruin you in the way that he was ruined.
As you exited the room and followed Poe's lead down the hallway, Ushar and Vicrul both gave you nods and winks of encouragement, trying to hype you up so that you didn't blow everyone's cover, including yourself.
Poe brought you to an empty hospital room and you had the biggest urge to run right out but he had the door shut behind you and you knew that this was it, you were going to have to do this.
"You and Ren, huh? I guess I should've seen this coming." Poe commented, a judgemental smirk on his face. He had seen the way you had been holding onto Kylo's arm when he had previously walked into the room and the protective way that Kylo stared at you as you left. It was part of his job to be perceptual and you two dangled it right in front of his face.
"You don't know what you're talking about." You said to him, mouth set in a straight line of annoyance.
Poe didn't react to your denial, expecting you to react that way. "I'm sure it must be difficult for you...I mean, considering the fact that you're engaged to another man." He said, getting out his small notepad from his pocket, "I see you aren't wearing the ring. That's a shame, I was curious to see what it looked like."
You had to take a deep breath to stop yourself from getting angry and making this situation so much worse. You had such a rough night and being judged by this man who had already put you through so much trouble, was setting you off. "You're here to question me about what happened tonight, not about my sex life, right?"
"Right." Poe agreed, getting out his pen. He sent you a look and he didn't need to share what he was thinking. Your relationship with Kylo could easily be used against you if you wanted to continue to hide it from Hux. "So, tell me about your night leading up to arriving at the hospital."
You ran him through all the events that you and the Knights decided on, the same ones that you shared with Kylo. You made it as vague as possible while still seeming realistic, not wanting to say something small and insignificant that went against anything either Vicrul or Ushar had shared with him.
When you were finished, Poe looked discouraged as he clicked his pen. "Somehow that checks out..." He muttered, shaking his head. He had been so hopeful that Kylo getting shot would've been enough to throw you all off, giving him an excuse to press charges against the mob, even if it had been for something small like drug use. But so far, there was nothing. He was at a loss.
You shrugged, pretending to look irritated with his surprise instead of relieved. "It's almost as if it's true, right?" You said to him, reacting in the same way you would if it actually was true.
Poe stared at you, narrowing his eyes with a frown. "You know, we've worked together in the past but all the information you gave us lead us to nothing." He said accusingly. "Considering your engagement to Armitage Hux and your connection to Ren, you're going to become a person of interest in this operation instead of a potential ally. Do you understand?"
You kept your expression even as you realized the implications of that. At some point, your face could be on the news, connected to some terrible crime that the mob was involved with. As much as you hated the idea, you knew you were too far gone. Even if you wanted to, you could never leave Kylo. "I understand." You told him softly.
Poe sighed, rubbing his chin as he thought all of this over. You seemed so much less jaded when he spoke to you in the past. Clearly, you'd been through a lot since then and although he knew it was because of choices you've made, he couldn't help but feel protective over you. He was protective over anyone he thought he could save. "Okay, well you're free to go, you can tell Ren I'll be with him in a few minutes."
You nodded, going to the door. As you grabbed the handle to turn it, Poe said your name. You looked over your shoulder at him.
"He's going to get you killed." Poe said to you bluntly.
"That's a bit dramatic." You smirked, trying to hide how much that statement made a wave of nausea roll through your body.
"It's the truth." Poe said, not finding your comment funny, he was serious. "The only way you'll get out of this life is death, whether at his hand or not."
You said nothing, knowing it was true. You felt like you were in trouble, like you had gotten caught doing something you shouldn't.
"Everyone in Kylo Ren's life dies, you won't be any different." Poe wasn't judgmental now, he was sympathetic.
"What are you talking about?" You played dumb.
"Do you know about his family?" He asked, "Do you know how his parents died?" He added, tone more passionate at the mention of them.
You thought back to what Kylo had told you about his mom, she killed herself he said, but he never mentioned his dad. And you didn't have that many details about his mom either. You were reminded of Snoke and how he pointed out the fact that you knew nothing about Kylo's past.
You wanted to tell Poe that you knew already but you couldn't. You found yourself shaking your head, "I don't."
Poe nodded slowly, assuming that would be your answer. He gave you a look of pity. "You should look into that."
You couldn't take it, you opened the door and quickly exited, not wanting to be around something that was making you question everything the way Poe just had.
On your walk back to Kylo's room, you calmed yourself down, not wanting to worry anyone or seem suspicious. You had been through enough today, you were going to pretend that Poe didn't say any of that, you'd worry about it later.
You took a deep breath, steadying yourself, before you opened his door.
Entering his private room, all of the eyes went to you. Vicrul and Ushar were sitting on the couch against the wall while Kylo was, unsurprisingly, still propped up in bed.
"How'd it go?" Kylo asked you, watching you as you took a seat back next to him, in the same spot you'd settled in before Poe interrupted you two.
"Fine. I handled it. He's going to talk to you soon, Kylo." You said casually but you had a wide smirk on your face, not being able to hide the fact that you were pleased with yourself for not only coming up with the story on your own but also not cracking under the pressure of retelling it.
"That's my good girl." Kylo said to you, his smirk matching yours. He watched you talk to Poe on the phone before, repeating all of the false info he fed to you. He knew that you'd be able to handle his questions, you were so much stronger now, even.
"She really handled everything tonight." Vicrul complimented you honestly. "She's the one who drove you here and the one who came up with the story, she kept her cool throughout all of it."
Kylo was looking at you the entire time Vicrul spoke, his mind going back to all the ways you really had taken care of him and this situation tonight. He was so proud of you.
"She's a keeper." Ushar agreed, somehow still eating from the bag of chips he'd gotten in the waiting room.
You were embarrassed by the rush of praise and from the affectionate way that Kylo was staring at you. "Maybe you should make me a 'made man' then, let me into the family. I'd do a better job than half of the troopers you have." You joked, trying to deflect.
Kylo laughed at your joke but a part of him knew that it was true. Women weren't allowed into the mob, it was something that had never been done before in their particular organization but compared to half of the men that he had working for him, you were far more capable.
"Why would you want to be one of us when you have the best title already?" Ushar asked, balling up the now empty chip bag and tossing it into the trash can, making it in. "The mafia's princess." He clarified with a cheeky grin.
You groaned at the title, wishing you had a wrapper or maybe something more substantial to throw at him. Really, you were so annoyed with his statement because of how happy it really made you feel. It gave you a rush to be known as Kylo's princess, as stupid as it was.
"Stop it." Kylo said in a warning tone, not wanting Ushar to embarrass you but he had a grin on his face as well, finding the entire thing amusing and honestly sort of endearing to see you get all worked up over their compliments.
Soon, there was a knock at the door and everyone was aware of who was on the other side of it, exchanging a look of irritation.
Poe had questioned Kylo over the next twenty minutes, making all of you leave the room for it. Kylo's story thankfully matched up with the three of yours. It was satisfying to see Poe leave as disappointed as he had.
You decided to stay overnight in the hospital with Kylo, not minding that you'd have to sleep on the uncomfortable couch to do so. You didn't want him to be alone. And as much as he protested against it, you saw the way he visibly relaxed when you sent Vicrul and Ushar away for the night so that you could stay with him.
The two of you had been watching the news for a few minutes, holding his hand while you sat next to his bed. There were no reports of anything mob related for once and you were thankful, you had enough of that tonight to last you a few lifetimes. It was the first time you two had been alone all night since you first saw him.
You glanced over at Kylo, noticing the way that he was beginning to fall asleep, the dark room only illuminated by the dim light of the screen in front of the two of you. You were tired, you couldn't even imagine how exhausted he must be, you were surprised he was even still awake.
You thought back to what happened right before he got taken into the hospital, what he almost admitted to you.
"Kylo," You said softly, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.
"Hm?" He asked, glancing over at you for a moment before his eyes shut again.
You tensed up, not expecting him to be awake enough to respond. You took a deep breath, trying to piece together how you wanted this to go. "I want to tell you something."
Kylo yawned, nodding, shifting in his bed to get more comfortable. "What is it?" He asked, voice mumbling and deep with sleep.
You bit your lip, "I think you wanted to say it earlier but you didn't have time...I just wanted you to know that I feel the same way." You rambled, suddenly becoming nervous at the idea of saying the three little words out loud.
He couldn't process what you were saying, it was too much and he kept drifting off, pitch changes in your voice pulling him out of his sleep for just a second.
You frowned. A part of you knew this was a bad time but you had been so upset at the thought that you might lose him before you ever told him and you didn't want to ever feel that way again.
"Kylo..." You started, squeezing his hand. You looked over at him.
He had his eyes shut, mouth slightly parted and from the way he was audibly inhaling, softly snoring, you knew that was asleep.
"I love you." You said to him in a quiet voice, unable to stop yourself. It didn't even matter if he couldn't hear it, you had to say it.
Kylo was oblivious, almost already in a deep sleep due to how much his body needed it to recover after the trauma he'd been through over the past several hours. He had no idea. If he had known you were going to admit that to him, he would've never let himself fall asleep.
You untangled your fingers from his with a sigh, leaning over to kiss his forehead gently before you made your way over to the couch, settling down on it. You hoped you had the balls to say it to him when he was awake, if he didn't bring it up himself.
You had been so close. Almost.