Title: Sweet Lies
Pairing: Chanyeol/Baekhyun
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst
*
It has been always a lie. He lied when he said 'I'm okay, just go to her' when he meant 'I'm not okay, please stay'. He lied when he said 'Be careful, don't get caught' when he really meant was 'Don't meet her, it's safer.' He lied when he said 'You two look good together' when he meant 'I wish we look good together instead'. He lied when he said 'I'm very happy to be your best friend' when what he truly meant was 'I'm very hurt to be just only your best friend.'
If Baekhyun would tear his heart like a paper, he would collect the shattered sheets, carefully tape it back together and hand it to him like brand new. If Baekhyun would break his heart once again and make it bleed, he would pick it up, wipe the blood off with his shirt and give it back to him to handle with care. If Baekhyun would throw his heart away next time, he would run miles and miles to find it, and bring it back to him safely using his last breath.
"I'm dating her."
Those painful three words... Those three words that came out from Baekhyun's mouth with ease were like a knife purposely sent to repeatedly stab his chest, specifically his heart, in shards of pieces until it was extremely wounded and weakly beating on the ground. His lungs constricted as if he's not allowed to breathe, and his eyes stung from holding his tears at bay as he clenched his fist tight enough to bruise.
He wanted to tell the truth this time though; that he always love him with all his heart, that he has been always by his side whenever she wasn't-- that it should be him not her holding his hand privately among unsuspecting people, that he wanted to be looked the way how he looks at her, to be treated the way he treats her, to be cared for the way she cares for her-- and that he wanted him to become his and only his, that he wanted to kiss him passionately, make love to him for all he is worth, that he has already imagined the future with him and without him life is a blur.
He closed his eyes, mustering all the courage he built for himself, but not enough to shout out his emotions, yet enough to whisper his name.
"Baekhyun."
"Yes?"
He did what he does best. He always hide behind his deceiving smiles. He was good at pretending, or Baekhyun was just not good at noticing. Either way, he swallowed the words back to his throat along with his last ounce of hope. He opts to stretch his arms, painfully settles on tapping his best friend's shoulder and painstakingly saying words he never meant to say the least.
"Congratulations! I'm happy for you."
The truth was, is and will be this-- he couldn't have him for himself. Baekhyun doesn't want him like how he wants her. And now he's dating her. Baekhyun loves her. And Chanyeol loves him it hurts.
It fucking hurts.
But he couldn't do anything but to lie again, especially to himself, saying it's fine, it's okay, it's nothing, like a mantra, as he watched how Baekhyun's lips parted and released those words that were almost inaudible with the sound of his pounding heart inside his ribcage.
But he heard it. Unfortunately, he heard it.
"Thank you for not loving me, Chanyeol. Thank you for lying."
END