"Happy birthday!" I hear two voices call out. One excited and one monotone. I think I can guess who's who.
I open my eyes to see Ushijima and his father beside me bed, the latter holding a cupcake with a candle in it.
"Oh, thank you." I laugh, sitting up.
"Make a wish!" Ushijima's father says as he hands me the cupcake. I close my eyes, making my wish, and blow out the candle. "I'll take that for you." He says, quickly taking the candle.
"Thank you." I smile, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear.
The day before yesterday, Ushijima and I fell asleep and didn't wake up until the next morning. Apparently his father was worried we had died and came in to check on us both several times. I was sad to wake up and see that Ushijima was in his own room, but remembered Takashi's wishes.
Due to how tired we were, we stayed in yesterday and Takashi did as well. He cooked meals for us and he talked non stop about how proud he was of Ushijima. He proudly stated that he watches all of his games and has never missed one.
He also praised him for the most recent game he played, but also gave praise to Karasuno as well. He is such a sweet man, and he cares a lot for his son. I couldn't help but feel hopeful that things worked out between us so I can be part of this family.
"We have to go now. Be ready in a few hours okay?" Ushijima asks and I nod.
"Do you want to share the cupcake first?" I ask, looking at the two. "We can cut it."
"Oh, there's no need! We'll have a cake tonight and properly sing to you. How does that sound?" Takashi asks and I smile.
"That sounds nice. Thank you." I say and Ushijima leans down to place a kiss on my forehead.
"We'll be home soon. Happy birthday, I love you." He gives me a small smile and my eyes soften.
"I love you too." I say and he stands back up. "Bye!" I wave at the both of them as they walk out of my room.
I take a bite of the cupcake once I hear the house door close. Mmm, it's really good! 'Nothing Bundt Cakes' reads the wrapper.
Aw, that's a cute play on words.
Once I'm done, I stand up and throw the trash out, also making sure I didn't leave any crumbs.
"I'm 18 today." I say to myself, hopping into the shower. "I wonder that Ushijima has planned." I hum, washing my body.
It's also New Years in a couple of days, we're nearing our five month anniversary. 5 months!
It's unreal. Ushijima and I have been dating for this long and we've barely had any arguments, just a few misunderstandings like before we left to California. I'm glad he's the type to want to talk things through, it makes me feel like we'll last a long time.
I hear my phone go off a few times but I ignore it, not wanting to dry my hands off to answer it.
I'll see it later anyways.
I wash my hair, singing random songs. Once I'm done, I step out of the shower and quickly dry myself.
I want to look cute, but it's also a little bit cold outside. I throw on a fitted velvet dress and pick out a coat to match it. I'll definitely still be cold. But it's cute.
I smile then grab my makeup, walking into the bathroom. I hum as I get ready and when I'm done with my makeup, I remember I had gotten a few texts earlier.
I tap on my phone screen to light it up, and I see I have Instagram DMs from...Yami? It's 11am here in California, so it's like 4am for her. Why the hell would she be texting me at this time?
I unlock my phone and as the messages load, I begin to brush my teeth. The toothpaste foams in my mouth and I pick my phone up again, opening the messages.
10:37
I can't believe the day has finally come. You're currently in California with Ushiwaka aren't you?
10:38
This is so funny. You know, Goshiki breaks easily. I should have talked to him months ago.
10:38
I kind of feel bad for you, but now Ushijima can finally be rid of you.
10:39
It's all from a dare, and he's kept it up for this long? Hilarious! Him and his friends must have placed a bet on how long he can last too.
I stare at my phone, confusion and dread filling my body. I rinse the toothpaste out of my mouth before quickly texting back.
11:08
Yami, what are you going on about?
I stare at the message for a moment before pressing send. Almost immediately I see her begin to type.
11:08
Tendou-Kun dared Ushiwaka to go out with you. Your relationship is fake. If you don't believe me, ask Tendou yourself.
I stare at the message for a good 10 minutes, trying to convince myself that she's lying. That she's only messing with me like she's been for months. But for some reason, it doesn't feel like a prank.
I don't respond to her text and I quickly dial Tendou's number. He doesn't respond, so I keep calling. Finally, the third time I ring him, he answers.
"Sasaki-San, it's 4 in the morning." He says groggily into the phone. "I hope this is an emergency, or I might not forgive you." He says, but playfulness laces his tone.
I grip my phone in my hands, tilting my head back and closing my eyes.
"Is it true?" I ask calmly.
"Is what true?" He asks, and a yawn escapes his lips.
"Who are you talking to?" I can hear Hana's voice in the background.
"Sasaki, she just called." Tendou responds.
"Oh, Eri. Tell her I said hi."
"Hana says hi, oh, let me put you on speaker." Tendou says and I hear rustling for a few seconds.
"I don't care. Tell me if it's true or not." I demand, a little more edge to my voice.
"Sasaki, I'm going to need a little more information. What are you talking about?" He asks and I can't help but laugh. He's messing with me.
"Is this all a dare? Did you dare Wakatoshi to ask me out?" I ask, opening my eyes finally. I look into the mirror and I notice that my hands are shaking.
His silence afterwards is all the answer I need.
"Eri, who told you?" I hear Hana and scoff.
"You knew?!" I ask, tears burning in my eyes.
"Sasaki, please just listen-"
"Oh my god." I cut off Tendou. "Wow. This is...this is hilarious." I take a deep breath.
"What?" They both ask in shock.
"You guys fucking suck." My voice finally cracks and I quickly hang up.
I put my phone on the counter and bend down. It was a dare. A fucking dare! Why did he take me here then? To embarrass me further?
The person I love, the person I supported, trusted, gave my virginity to, all this time never felt the same way back. It's all just a cruel dare.
Memories of him touching me, of me touching him and the endless nights where we stayed up and gave our bodies to each other flood my mind and I suddenly feel sick. I quickly move to the toilet and empty the contents of my stomach.
I'm so stupid. I'm such an idiot. The guy I lost my virginity to has been playing me all this time. Maybe that's the real reason why he keeps wanting to have sex. It's all just a game for him.
The thought again makes me hurl into the toilet bowl.
Suddenly, all the weird looks that my friends and even the rest of the volleyball team gave each other, the suspicious comments, and brushing off of those comments, and Hana's breakdown of saying she's a horrible friend all make sense.
I knew something was wrong. I fucking knew it.
I flush the toilet and stand up, turning my phone off as I see I'm getting missed calls and texts from both Hana and Tendou. I need to get out of here.
I hurriedly brush my teeth again then look into the mirror. One of the biggest idiots in the world stares back at me. I laugh, grabbing a makeup wipe and furiously wipe off my makeup.
"You're so fucking pathetic." I say to myself, throwing it away and storming back into the room.
I quickly take off my clothes, throwing them onto my bed.
"I really thought I'd try to be cute? Ushijima Wakatoshi will never find me attractive." I mutter angrily, throwing on a pair of leggings and a T-shirt before stomping out the house, not even bothering to take my phone.
I can't believe how naive I was. Everyone around me knew, yet I couldn't figure it out sooner. Of course Ushijima Wakatoshi wouldn't date me. What's special about me?
He probably thinks I'm easy. And I suppose I am, right? I let him into my life so easily and I fell in love with him so soon. I can't believe Hana was part of this too. Of all people– the person I considered to be my own sister betrayed me.
Somehow I find my way to a main street and hail a cab.
"Where to miss?" The driver asks.
"The beach please." I say before closing my eyes, leaning back in my seat.
I don't open my eyes until we've arrived, not long after I got into the car. I thank the man and get out after paying. I look at the water in the distance and walk towards the shore. There's nobody here, which seems weird. I thought California beaches were always packed.
Maybe it's because it's cold?
I walk and sit down a ways away from the water, pulling my legs up to my chest. I rest my head on my knees and close my eyes.
You know that feeling you get when you figure out what one of your Christmas presents are, but your parents swear up and down that they didn't get it for you- but on Christmas Day you open the presents and voila, it's there?
Or when you take a test that you didn't study for and you know you did absolutely horrible but you try to convince yourself that you did well, only to get your test scores back and see that you absolutely bombed it?
Even the feeling of when you go out to eat and and decide to try something new but end up hating it.
That's how I feel. I knew something was wrong since the beginning. All the weird comments, strange attitudes, and my own gut feeling. I'm so disappointed in myself. I feel like I can't even be mad at anyone because this is my own fault.
But it still hurts so fucking much.
The tears start to fall down my cheeks and I hide my face further into my knees.
I knew it. I knew it, I knew it. I fucking knew it!
But I pushed down those feelings, because I feel like that every time something good happens to me. I should have listened to myself, I always end up right anyways. I thought I was lucky.
The Ushijima Wakatoshi liked me of all people. I'm so stupid.
Quiet sobs wrack my body as I continue to revel in my own depression.
I think about the day he told me to be his girlfriend, how he didn't want to walk me home, our first 'date' playing volleyball, our running date where I introduced him to my music. I think about the first real date we went on, the first and second meal I cooked for him. I think about our one month anniversary, our first kiss, our second kiss, the first time we exchanged 'I love you's'. I think about the monthly anniversaries that lead up to now. I think about the practices I went to of his, and the games. I picture myself cheering him on with the biggest smile and feeling so much pride in watching him.
I think about how breathless he made me feel the first time we did it together, and how he still makes me feel that way no matter how many more times we've done it since then. I think about how after all this time, I still get butterflies when I look at him or when he looks at me. Even just a simple touch or kiss from him makes me go crazy and lose all train of thought.
And then I think about how it was all fake on his part. I should of known. God, I'm so stupid.
I don't know how long I sit there, but it's long enough for me to stop crying. I'm just sitting here now, trying to figure out what I'm going to do.
"Um, excuse me?" I hear someone say in English. My body tenses up. Of course someone would see me like this. "You're not supposed to be here, um. Sorry, we reserved the beach today, I'm filming a video."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know." I lift my head, still looking down so he doesn't see how puffy my eyes probably are. I sniffle and stand up, facing away from him.
"Um...are you okay?" The guy asks.
Obviously not.
"I'll be okay." I give a light chuckle, finally turning to look at him.
He's tall, and I won't lie, very attractive. His eyes widen a bit as he sees me and I remember how bad I must look right now.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your...film?" I tilt my head and a warm smile spreads over his face.
"Music video." He responds. I look at him in shock. Now that he says that, I can't help but feel like I've seen him somewhere.
"Right. Sorry." I clasp my hands behind my back and look away from him. "I had no idea, I'm not from here so I guess I didn't look at the signs." I say awkwardly. He must think I'm dumb. He stays quiet for a moment so I look up at him.
"Where are you from?" He asks.
"Japan." I respond and his eyes brighten.
"Hey, that's cool. I'm working on a song called Lost In Japan." A dorky grins comes over his face and I nod.
That is not the same at all. But he is a white man, so...
Wait, a song?
"You're an artist?" I ask, my eyes widening.
"Sort of. I guess I sing a little." He smiles and tilts his head. "You've been crying right? You must not be enjoying your time here in the states. I don't want to make your day worse, so do you want to come hang out with my crew?" He asks and I debate it in my head. I really don't want to go back to Ushijima's house right now.
"We have warm drinks and food set up for my staff. It's cold out, so you can help yourself to whatever." He offers and I nod.
"Okay, sure."
Ushijima
It's 1pm now as I enter my fathers house. It's quiet.
"I'm home." I call out, slipping off my shoes. I place the wrapped presents on the kitchen table. No response? Is she mad at me again for something?
I try to think of what I did wrong but can't come to any conclusions. My father enters the house and closes the door.
"You two need a ride somewhere?" He asks me, seemingly eager to be part of my plans.
"Sure, just let me make sure Eri is ready." I respond before walking to the room she's staying in. The door is wide open, so I walk in.
"Eri?" I call out, but again get no response. A slight panic feeling fills my body but I push it down. She's probably here somewhere.
I search everywhere in her room, but she's gone. I see her phone on the bed and a few pieces of clothing messily thrown on there too. Was she kidnapped? No...I didn't notice anything sketchy. And it didn't seem like anybody broke in.
Why would she leave without her phone if she's in a foreign country? I pull out my phone and quickly dial Tendou's number.
I see that I have missed calls and text messages from him too. I guess I didn't hear them, my phone was on mute. I don't bother reading the messages since I'm calling him anyways. He answers on the first ring, thankfully.
"Has Eri been in contact with you today? She's not at the house, I left her here by herself this morning and now she's gone but she left her phone." I get out quickly. The panicky feeling is now eating at me.
Where could she have gone? Is she okay? God, I should have never left her alone.
"Wakatoshi-Kun, she knows." Tendou speaks into the phone lowly, sounding regretful.
"What? Knows what?" I ask, confused.
"She knows about the dare." I hear and my body freezes up. "I don't know who told her. But she knows, and she was upset. Hana and I have been trying to get in contact with her all day."
Dread races through me, as if it replaced my blood. No, is it fear? Regret? It's something unpleasant and it makes me feel like my chest is tightening.
"Is...is she...coming back?" I ask, slowly crumbling to the floor and leaning my back against the side of the bed.
"She has to, I mean, she doesn't know where anything is over there. You just have to wait for her to come back." I hear Tendou say but his words don't register in my mind. I tilt my head back, letting the soft cushion of the mattress support me.
I close my eyes and the first tear begins to slide down my cheek. Then the second, and the third. They just keep coming.
Why am I losing the things that I love? I lost my volleyball game, and now I can't go to nationals, and then I'm losing my girlfriend too? The two most important things in my life I'm losing in less than a week apart?
What did I do? What was so horrible of me that the gods picked this as my punishment?
Oh...maybe it was the dare. Stupid dare. This is why I don't play children's games.
But the dare turned out to be something good! Although I didn't like her at first, I ended up falling in love with Eri. And she loves me too.
So why is it ending like this?
"Tendou," I choke out, opening my eyes to stare at the ceiling as the tears continue to fall. I put my arm over my forehead and release a heavy sigh. "I brought the ring here." I say quietly, though my pain is clearly evident through my tone.
Eri, please come home to me.
(Tmw your girlfriend spends the day with Shawn Mendes and she doesn't even know who he is)
PLEASE LMAO I'm editing this rn and idk why I thought it was a good idea to add Shawn mendes to a haikyuu fic. I really liked him at the time 😭🖐