I was stunned.
Austin—the golden boy of the golden hair, sweet face, pure heart and nerdy athleticism—was threatening me. Blackmailing his own sister, of the equally sweet face and pure heart. Forcing her to consort with the devil, as if he was Cerberus, guiding me gently into hell and thrusting me into my eternal torment.
I thought I'd raised him better, honestly. This is what happens when you hire a nanny; you know, absent parents and everything. Take notes.
Austin looked smug. It was a grin I'd seen Jace wear. Clearly on the uniform requirements for the hellish legion, along with a football uniform.
"Wow," I said, dazed.
Austin shrugged. "You need this."
"I can't believe you've done this."
"Vine is dead, Lena. Let it go."
Vine was only one of the many things I couldn't let go. I would never let this go; my baby brother, corrupted by forces of evil. This would haunt me forever, as would the day that followed. I couldn't let Austin expose Cole. Not because Knight mattered or anything, but because Dad would be mad. He might also kill Knight for spending the night in my room, and I could just tell that Cole would be a very annoying ghost. He was an attention whore.
I turned my head to look out of the window, watching as the train rattled past trees and neatly lined houses. With all the willpower I could muster, I willed the train to stop, to slow. Jace would get on in three stops, and I was going to have to be nice to him. Despite the awkwardness of last week before, and the revenge he would likely enact.
Despite the irritating fact that Jace had won in that recent encounter, and I did not want Austin to force me into waving a white flag after a loss.
After telling Jace I could prove myself.
Austin tapped me on the shoulder. "Oh, and one more stipulation."
"I want to break my leg again," I said.
"This is not a passive situation. You will be actively nice to him. You won't avoid him. Got it?"
I gaped. That was my entire plan. Avoidance. My hopes were dashed.
But fine. I had one class with Hartley, and then lunch. That was two hours, maximum. I could survive. I could. It was the kind of lie you had to force yourself to believe, if you were ever going to survive. "Fine," I gritted out.
The train pulled in to Armadale station, where Alex and Chance were waiting on the platform. Chance was waiting patiently, while Alex was jumping up and down, waving, as if we were on a departing boat in the harbour during the 20s. It was an enthusiasm I strived to adopt. I waved back to them, thrilled to have someone to talk to externally to my traitorous brother.
"You also can't be mean about him. Glowing reviews to everyone."
I groaned. "Oh, fuck you to the moon."
"Wouldn't be surprised if that was you and Jace after today," said Austin. It was a phrase that filled me with unparalleled levels of anger and rage. He made an obscene gesture with his hands that made me feel sick. I was a Molotov cocktail of negative emotions, and I was ready to explode.
I mimed a violent gag, but Austin looked at me warningly. Well. Okay. No negative reactions towards anything of the Hartley variety. I see how it is. My nightmare come to life.
Active, Austin mouthed.
I swallowed my rage. It burned a fiery path down my throat and stirred in my gut. For the first time, Jace was not the only person against whom I would contemplate homicide.
The smile I pulled was feigned, and likely resembled a grimace more than anything else. "I mean, that gag was obviously a joke. I'm sure fucking Jace to the moon would be a, uh, delightful experience. He would have, uh, unparalleled thrusting game. That's probably why McKenna is so lovely, because like, he's at a level that just... like, how could you ever be sad again after such an experience, you know?"
Mentally, I corrected the statement. I'm sure fucking Jace would be a horrendous experience. He'd be very selfish. His game would be like a dead fish. And McKenna is so lovely because she no longer has to put up with him, and the idea of never sleeping with such a pigheaded asshole again brings unimaginable levels of joy to her life.
I doubted Austin would appreciate that version. But the correction was the only thing that allowed me to live with myself.
"Nice to see you can finally admit you want to jump Hartley's bones," said Alex.
I turned around to see Chance and Alex. They'd hopped on the train, and I'd been too busy selling my soul to notice. Alex was grinning broadly. Chance was smiling, but also looked mildly stressed. He was perpetually stressed, though, so I wasn't too concerned.
"What have we just walked into?" said Chance.
I looked at Austin awkwardly. How to explain my sudden change of heart without telling them about Knight? I couldn't tell them yet. Not until I knew what we were doing. Chance's anxiety would be through the roof.
"Um, we were just... discussing our thoughts surrounding the afterlife? Uh, theoretically, like, what hell would be?" I looked at Austin hesitantly for confirmation.
He shook his head.
Fine. Even that came under the being-mean-to-Jace umbrella.
Alex and Chance had seemed completely convinced by my story. Unravelling such an expertly crafted web of lies, or like, single sentence of explanation that fell perfectly in line with my general viewpoint, broke my heart. Shattered it. But I inhaled sharply, mentally reminded myself to punch Knight for initiating this torture, and said, "Uh, sorry, that's not it. I was just telling Austin about my perfect ideal of the future. The number one item on my bucket list. I just reckon banging Jace would be, like, the best."
Alex collapsed into the seat next to Austin and piled his bag unceremoniously on top of mine. "Um. What?"
"I mean, you're not wrong," said Chance, who lowered himself onto the seat beside me and tucked the bag between his ankles. "It would be awesome. It's on my bucket list too. And you've been into it since you knew what banging was. But, like, since when were you willing to come to terms with that?"
I scowled at him. "You've been spending way too much time with Alex."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Alex protested.
"I have literally never heard Chance say anything gay before," I said.
"What about that time I said to you, 'hey, Lena, I'm gay'," Chance said, baffled.
"I mean, like, stereotypically gay," I said, waving him off. "That's Alex's thing."
The brothers looked amused. Austin was shaking his head, exasperated. I considered myself a relatively PC human; I liked to support movements and keep up to date with all the goings on in the world, and I had never said any racial slurs after being educated as to their meanings. And I would actively seek out that education, because like, the internet, so really, who had any excuse anymore?
Alex was always a little less clued in. Thankfully, Chance was not easily offended. He was too busy being anxious that he may have offended someone else.
"What you're suggesting here, Lena, is that I, the straight brother, am stereotypically gay and exacerbating my gay brother's gayness," Alex said.
"Well, yeah."
Alex shook his head, mirroring Austin's movement from before. As he did so, the train doors beeped themselves closed—finally, I'd seen some stupid kids holding the doors open for longer than was really acceptable for their mates—and the station became a blur in the window.
"Anyway," said Chance. "Moving on. Why do you suddenly want to bang—sorry, why do you suddenly admit you want to bang—Jace?"
Austin's mouth twitched slightly in a grin. I hated him. I was going to get Liv to run him over with her car.
"We hung out last night, and I came to the realisation that he was fabulous," I said, trying to imbue as much sarcasm as possible into my sentences, like a concealed call for help from a hostage within their ransom note.
Fortunately, my secret message missed Austin's well-trained ears. Unfortunately, they also missed the ears of the Krisler boys.
They should all know me better. They should know I would never be charmed by Hartley, and leap to my defence against the evil Austin for forcing me to utter such horrid proclamations of positivity towards Jace.
Instead, Alex said, "Well, finally, you've come around. Now you guys can bang or whatever and then lunch won't be so tense. Jonah is going to be thrilled."
Chance looked equally excited, but for purer reasons. "This is so exciting, Leens. Jace is great, genuinely, and it's nice that you can finally appreciate that. It'll be nice for you to have him as a mate. I always thought you two would be awesome friends if you could put aside your differences."
Through gritted teeth, I said, "Yeah, thanks. I am also very excited."
The train pulled in at the next stop, and Daria was waiting on the platform. The white and blue school uniform robbed many of us of the chance to wear our patented styles, or express all that much individuality. But somehow, Daria managed. She wore a white and blue checked ribbon in a loose bow, tying her ponytail together, and she never remembered to wear the uniform white socks, no matter how many times she was asked. Today, her socks were fuzzy and purple. She'd probably get away with it, too. Beloved even by the teachers was our Daria.
When the train stopped, Daria swung herself on. She was grinning. "Heya, guys, how's it going?"
I frowned. "Where's your usuals?"
Daria shrugged. "I stopped off at Jonah's door to collect him, but he threw his alarm clock in the toilet and wasn't ready, so he said he will come in whenever he's well-rested."
"Oh, awesome, I can't wait to see Jonah at Alex's funeral in fourty years," I said.
"Why am I dying first?" Alex said, looking extremely offended.
"That guess was generous. Someone is probably going to wipe you out in the next five, but that wouldn't work because Jonah needs longer to reach 'well rested'."
Daria sat down in the bay of seats on the other side of the aisle, leaning forward for inclusivity. She dumped her bag on the seat across from her, saving it for Jace. "No, it's probably a good thing. Jonah needs his rest, I would hate for him to feel tired or anything."
"That's because you're a goddess who cares deeply for other people's pain," Alex said. "I, like Lena, care deeply that Jonah suffers always, because it is funny and it amuses simple minds like the ones owned by Lena and I."
I nodded in confirmation.
Austin chimed in. "And where's Jace?"
If it was any other day, this would be my opportunity to say, lost in the woods getting mauled by a ferocious band of chipmunks, I hope. But because Austin is a destroyer of both fun and worlds, I instead said, "Yeah, where's... Jace."
Saying his first name was weird.
"Oh, he didn't stay at mine last night—" Sunday nights were usually their sleepover nights. "He wanted to spend time with his mum's." She glanced down at her phone, where I could see a message from 'The Top Hoe-mie'. "He said he's waiting at the next stop."
I forced a smile. "Oh, for a second there I was worried he wasn't going to be at school today. That would've been a bummer."
Mentally, I prayed that he had been felled by that band of chipmunks. But when the train stuttered to a halt at the next station, Hartley was standing on the platform, gazing pensively into the distance like an action hero. What a wanker.
Daria looked at me oddly. "You okay, Lena? You just said something nice about Jace. I have some water, if you need a drink or something."
Coming from anyone else, that would've been sarcastic mocking. From Daria, it was genuine concern. I literally could not be more obsessed with her. Truly an icon and my role model.
"Oh, I'm fine," I said, though it was a bald faced lie. The sight of Jace Hartley as he stepped onto the train was torture. Every step he took brought him closer to me, to the kindness I was forced to bestow upon him.
He didn't deserve it. He didn't. Austin sucked.
Everyone looked between Hartley and I with curiosity. Alex and Chance's interest stemmed from my revelation that I wanted to bang Jace now. Daria's from the oddity of my comments, because she knew I'd never willingly say anything nice about Jace. Austin was looking between us with unfettered amusement, like a demon revelling in the horror of making his puppets dance the torturous. I would prefer the literal version of hell, where I had to do ballet over Lego or something.
Anything beat this.
Jace clutched the edge of a seat and stared down at me. "Hey, Elle. How was it to wake up this morning to the feeling of defeat? I guess you'd be used to it."
I sighed. Austin winked at me. "Hey, Jace," I said. "It's great to see you. Defeat can sting, hey? But, uh, all in good fun. Nice to hang out yesterday. Come sit down?"
There was a collective silence. A pause. Shock. Confusion. Mild concern for my mental health.
"Uh, what?"