[It's author's birthday today and author is probably too lazy to do sh*** that's why author decided to update! ∩˙▿˙∩] - Bun
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If there's one thing that the original Bai Yuan and Kaisen have one thing in common, it is getting their freedom taken away from them. They are both as graceful as a free bird, but lock them up and it will kill them slowly.
When Kaisen received the original's memories, he knew how free spirited the original is. His husband barely give him any attention and it is both a good and a bad thing.
A good thing for him because he can do whatever he wishes to do so.
A bad thing for him because Bai Yuan grew up with a loving family beside him and he can't help but want his husband's love all to himself.
It made Bai Yuan's family worried for him for the reason that Bai Yuan might never have a family of his own.
Kaisen knows that Bai Yuan wants a family, a loving husband and a child for him to dote on.
And so Bai Yuan was overjoyed when the general decided to court him. It went on for years, it was the time where the general had to go to the war that he decided to accept Li Wei's feelings.
They got married when Li Wei went home safely. The whole city knows how much the two loved each other and how they are almost inseparable.
The years they spent together were full of promises that is soon to be broken.
Bai Yuan's biggest regret is how he decided to ignore the lovingly glances his husband and his personal maid are exchanging with each other.
He thought of it as a friendly thing between the two since he's the one who pushed them to befriend each other. Xiu Ying was like a child to him that he never had. He fed her, dressed her up, and many more.
Bai Yuan was like a mother hen towards Xiu Ying as he knew how badly treated the girl was when she was still a slave.
Sadly, it was all too late when he decided to confront his husband about it. Bai Yuan saw how his husband's lips turned into a loving smile when he mentioned the name of the girl he treats like a daughter.
Kaisen felt how the original felt at that time. He felt betrayed. The two important person to him that he love the most decided to betray him for each other.
Bai Yuan saw how Li Wei gently held the ribbon in his hand which he assumed was Xiu Ying's property.
It didn't take long enough when Li Wei decided to take his personal maid as his concubine.
Despite feeling hurt, betrayed and lost, he gently gave the girl a smile. Bai Yuan thought the love he was showering the other with was enough to make the general feel contented. Bai Yuan was wrong.
Bai Yuan decided to ignore it, he decided to shove his feelings in a bubble that can burst anytime. He isn't used to feeling angry and upset over something, it's a bad feeling and he doesn't want it.
The calm and peaceful nights he once spend with his husband turned into him quietly sobbing in his room alone.
No one bothered to check up on him as his tears gently flow down his rosy cheeks and to his pillow. Every night, he decided to keep it all in as he let his feelings out as tears quietly.
His heart tightens every time. It aches, it hurts. How he hears the sound of skin slapping, his personal maid he once treated like a daughter moaning, his husband groaning. It is simply heartbreaking for him.
Every night he swallows a pill, a pill that will shut him out of the world for a short period of time. When he can't sleep, he swallows a pill. It's better to be unconcious than to feel his heart craving for love, he can feel it shattering.
His body became immune to the pill to the point where it doesn't work anymore even if he takes the whole bottle. And so he tries to distract himself by writing how his day went in a paper.
He forced himself to write happy things that he experienced in a day but it all ends with.. Husband didn't come again... maybe tomorrow he will come.. I just need to wait patiently
But he didn't come. A stack of paper filled the box with the same words he kept on writing. It went on for years and years.
The eyes that used to be so bright and full of life were now dim and seems to be lacking of life.
Bai Yuan knew that he wasn't enough thus he decided to accept it. Or maybe he just needs to wait more.. and maybe.. just maybe.. he kept on hoping that the arms that was used to be wrapped around him and the warmth the other shared with him will soon return to his pale and slowly turning cold body.
The pills that used to give him peace is now slowly acting like a poison to his body. Was he overdosed? He was so focused on trying to ease the pain in his heart that he didn't notice how much pills he have swallowed already.
Where did it all go wrong...? The words Bai Yuan kept asking to himself throughout the years.
In the night under the glowing moon, he let out a hurtful laughter. He felt so cold, he missed his husband's warm hugs and kisses.
Bai Yuan once vowed to keep on loving him. And he plans to keep it that way. He glanced at the door, his heart hurting once again.
He brought up his hand that is holding a pill and swallowed it for the last time. This time, he let out his tears freely.
Will husband come today..? Maybe tomorrow he will come.. I just need to wait.... right? But he knew his husband won't come. Never again.
But he just kept on hoping and hoping. Because he loves him, and it will stay that way. He can only wish that if there is another life, he hopes that he will finally get the love his heart was itching to have.
In his last moments, he faced the door while he's on his bed looking like a broken doll waiting for it's owner to come and pick him up. Until his last breath.. he waited.
But he never come.
Kaisen woke up from his slumber, he can feel that his cheeks are wet. Was he crying as he slept?
Well it's understandable since he was dreaming of the original's memories. His heart ached from the betrayal he experienced.
He brought up his hand to his eyes to wipe his tears when another hand beat him to it.
Kaisen gazed at the man beside him who was showing a concerned look at him. His chest was filled with warmth when he felt the man's hand carefully wiped his tears away.
"Why were you crying?" Li Wei frowned as he stroke Bai Yuan's cheeks lovingly.
"It's nothing.. it was just a bad dream.." Bai Yuan muttered as he grab the other man's hands and pull it away from his tear stained cheeks.
"Do you mind telling me about it?" Li Wei felt hurt when the other refused to be touch. But it's alright, he won't be able to leave his side. He will stay by his side and Li Wei will shower him with love.
"It's nothing much.. just a guy dying as he patiently waited for his husband to return into his embrace until his last breath." Bai Yuan shrugged.
Li Wei's gaze darkened as he clenched his fist. His heart felt cold the moment he imagined Bai Yuan dying as he waited for him to love him again. Why did he even imagine that? But it felt so real, he suddenly felt nostalgic.
Li Wei tried to calm himself by saying that everything is going to be alright, it will never happen to the two of them. He will shower Bai Yuan with love until he feels suffocated. He will never let Bai Yuan suffer the same fate as the guy who was in his dreams.
"Don't worry, Ah Yuan. Rest assured, it will never happen to us." Li Wei wrapped the soft looking man with a blanket as he hugged him tightly. The chains making a sound because of the movement.
But it already happened... Bai Yuan thought as he let out a deep sigh, letting the other do as he please.
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Please vote if you like the chapter <3 It makes me motivated to publish a chapter fast ♫꒰･‿･๑꒱
[Author is in a mood for angst ლ(⌒▽⌒ლ)] - Bun
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