Techno had a plan for the rest of the day. They would drive through Anaheim and Hollywood and stop at a few shops. Then they would head to Big Bear through Angeles Crest, so they could see LA from the mountains.
First stop would be donuts in Anaheim.
Techno glanced back at Tommy, who was laughing at memes with Wilbur. He really hoped he would eat a donut.
——————
Wilbur had enjoyed the ride back through the canyon park, but now they were in the city. He was conflicted.
On one hand, look at the architecture! And all these different people! Look at the types of stores and birds!
On the other hand, omg someone just peed on that wall. Is the sky... redder? Where is the sun? Those people are definitely sick. Those people are definitely miserable.
They passed the tent city.
Wilbur liked Anaheim, really. It was cool, from inside a car. But the cool factor was brought down by every threat to health cities usually have to offer. He supposed that's simply how California would be. At least there's parks.
Techno pulled into a small strip mall. It had an auto shop at one end, a donut shop in the middle, and a panderia at the other end.
None of the snacks had been touched yet and they were all hungry, so they wasted no time in getting out of the car.
"Donuts? Is this place good?"
"I like them. Really I just know the owners and it's less socially awkward here but the donuts are good too."
Wilbur decided he'd get a donut. The panderia next door seemed like a better place to go in a foreign country. Donuts? Could get in England. Whatever was in the sweet bread place? Could not get in England.
"Tommy, come with me next door. I wanna try new stuff."
"Uhhh do I have to? Do I get a choice?"
"Yes, you have to, no, you don't get a choice. Come on."
Tommy followed Wilbur into the panderia with absolutely zero interest. He was sure the "sweet bread place" would contain just as many calories as a donut, and he really didn't want a donut.
Upon walking into the store, two things were obvious. One, Wilbur was gonna have to pull his knowledge of Spanish together, and two, Tommy did not want a single thing to eat from there.
Shelves were lined with all sorts of delicious looking pastries. Flattish rolls with pink and white lines frosting the tops, slices of cake with thin white frosting and sprinkles, slices of cake without toppings, muffins, jelly filled rolls, and that.
Tommy had never seen anything like it. It was a ball of sugar. Two sphere halves of cake, coated in frosting, stuck together and rolled in enough sugar for a heart attack.
It looked amazing.
Tommy was definitely not eating that. That would be his calorie intake for a week. No way. Everything here looked extremely high in calories. Nothing was "safe" to eat in his eyes. It'd all make him gain weight.
Wilbur loaded a tray with various breads and two of the sugar balls. He looked back at Tommy and his excitement fell. Tommy look scared. He was looking around the shelves and hugging himself. Then he realized Wilbur was looking at him and completely changed.
He dropped his arms and straightened his back. He flashed a smile.
"Is that all you're getting?"
"...yeah. Are you getting anything?"
Tommy faltered. His smile dropped for a moment but he brought it back and tilted his head back.
"Mmm no. I don't think I will. I'm not really hungry and we have snacks in the car."
"Tommy..."
"No, please don't say anything. Please."
Wilbur closed his mouth. Not here. He had enough for Tommy to eat on his tray anyway.
Wilbur paid and muttered a low confidence "gracias" before they walked out.
Techno and Phil were sitting at a table outside the donut shop. They looked up at their returning friends as they ate.
"Oh look who's back!"
"I can't believe you just dipped."
"I want cake so I got cake. Leave me alone!"
"I'll admit the food there is good, but it's so awkward trying to communicate sometimes that's it's rare I go."
"Just hand her a 5 and say thanks when you leave. Easy."
"You make it sound so simple..."
"In any case, I got enough for everyone. They have these giant balls of frosting and sugar and I really want to eat it. I got two so we can each have a half sphere."
"OH MY GOD I LOVE THOSE THINGS! I tried to ask what they were one time but I really don't know Spanish and that's how I found out she doesn't know English and IwasreallyawkwardsoIhaven'tgoneback."
"You don't go back cause you're scared of a woman?"
"That's not what I me- yes. Women are scary because they are people and people are scary. So yeah, I guess you're right this time."
"Oh I'm always right."
"Oh yeah? Say taco."
"I still haven't had one of those."
"Say it."
"Takko."
The other three flinched. Wilbur shook his head sadly. Phil stared in bewilderment at Tommy. Techno smirked.
"Taco."
"What's the difference?"
Wilbur put his chin in his hand, as if contemplating why he had shared the backseat with Tommy.
"Ok. I can see I've upset you, haven't I?"
They laughed and continued trying the donuts and other food. Tommy hadn't taken a single bite, but they were all joking and didn't notice.
Not until Wilbur brought out the glorious balls of diabetes.
Techno's eyes widened.
"It's been so long."
"...since last I've seen my son~"
"And since I've heard that song. But that's not important, I want a sphere half."
"And I'm called greedy."
"You'll eat your words when you eat the ball."
Wil handed out halves. Techno wasted no time devouring the doomed pastry. Phil took a bite and converted with Techno to sugar ball supremacy. Wilbur decided nothing could top it. It was awesome.
Tommy just stared at it. He wanted to eat it. You know how many calories that is? It looks amazing. It'll take weeks to work it back off. Techno would want him to try it. It won't hurt him if you skip it.
Techno looked up from his revelry. Tommy was glaring at the food in front of him.
"You have to try it."
"Blade, I don't want to. I really don't."
Tommy had gone from debating if he should try it to thinking only about how bad it would be for him. It had gone from looking delicious to despicable.
"Tommy, you haven't eaten today. At least eat three bites. It can be of anything here. Though the ball is gonna taste the best."
Phil and Wilbur had stopped eating. They were glancing between the two opposing forces. Techno and Tommy were sitting across from each other, and each was staring the other down.
"Techno. I can't. Really, I can't. I really REALLY don't want to. Any food will make me feel sick, I'll try to throw up, and I'll fail. I know I'll fail. I've never succeeded before, and I've tried a lot. I can't go through the feeling needing to get food out. Not right now. I can't."
Tommy was crying now. He was shaking his head and hugging his arms. He had stopped glaring and had dawned a look of fear.
Techno's emotionless expression softened. He got up to walk around to Tommy.
"Techno, I'm fine. You can sit down."
Techno didn't sit down. He kneeled next to Tommy and put his hands on Tommy's shoulders. He turned Tommy to face him.
"Tommy. You're not fine, you don't have to be. We don't think any less of you for not being fine. I understand that feeling. I know it's hard, but getting rid of that feeling starts with eating. You can't work on mentally changing if you're dead cause you wouldn't eat."
"Dead? N-no. I-I eat enough f-for uh, to uh, to not die. It's not a problem."
"Tommy please. You have to see that you're gonna starve to death. This isn't healthy. This won't make you look better to yourself. All it will do is hurt you. Kill you."
"I-I-"
"I can't lose you. Tommy you can't die."
Wilbur looked as scared as Tommy, but it was an entirely different fear. He couldn't lose Tommy. Not to something like this. Tommy was his little brother, maybe not by blood, but as real a bond as one.
"Tommy, I will do whatever it takes to get you ok with yourself. Need to go to therapy? I will pay for it. Whatever it takes man. I can not lose you."
Tommy looked at Techno and Wilbur. Concern, compassion, and fear etched into their faces. He can't do this to them.
He took a breath and quickly took a bite of the treat that started that day's problems. Wilbur and Techno both relaxed just a bit. Tommy sniffled and wiped his nose as he chewed.
It tastes good. What are you doing? They're so worried! You're gonna look awful. They don't care if I look awful.
Tommy blinked and stopped chewing.
He really didn't feel guilty right now. He didn't mind that he might gain wei-
OH YES YOU DO MIND.
He shut his eyes and forced the food down. He was wrong. They don't mind but that doesn't matter anymore. He minds. He very much cares what he looks like.
And now you'll look like shit.
Tommy felt two pairs of arms hold tight. After a moment, a third set joined.
He can look like shit for a few days if it meant the worry would leave his friends' faces.
——————
Techno had planned on seeing the Hollywood sign, but it was afternoon and traffic was especially bad. Tommy had eaten most of the bread earlier and they all thanked the universe that the donut shop hadn't been busy.
Techno wouldn't have done any different if more people had been there, but he did have social anxiety and his 3 am panic attacks did not need more fuel.
They had seen the stars in the sidewalk that tourists are obligated to see. They had gotten ice cream and even convinced Tommy to get some.
Now they were driving to Angeles Crest to watch the sunset.
Techno thought about Tommy and Wilbur. Wilbur was really worried, and really out of his element. He could tell how scared Wil got every time Tommy wouldn't eat. He saw Philza lean back as if he couldn't help.
He saw Tommy go into a panic attack every time he was told to eat.
Techno has a week with them. 8 more days to help Tommy as much as possible. Then they go back to England. Tommy hopefully gets therapy and-
And what? And Wilbur keeps trying to support Tommy but holding back his words until he can't because he's scared too? That might be destructive to both of them.
The city faded into green suburbs. Gray skyscrapers shrunk to clay-roofed family homes. Bright graffiti weaved into muted vines sprawling up brick walls.
Ahead trees replaced all signs of civilization. The road took on a steep uphill grade and Techno shifted gears.
They had reached the forest.
———
Wilbur was once again excited. As windows that reflect light for miles above melted into trees that absorb light before it can reach the ground, Wilbur felt an increasing sense of adventure.
The sight-seeing in LA was nice and all, but he wanted the trees. The national parks, where people from all walks of life could be interacted with. The rocks, the geography! There was so much to offer and they would finally be getting to it.
The sky was getting darker and clouds were taking on sweeter hues. They climbed to a vista point in Techno's car and he pulled into the turn out.
Wilbur's heart plummeted.
LA had an iconic skyline, and the sight was awesome, but there was a thick brownish layer of air that hung in the city.
Smog.
It was so dark. There was so much. He had been breathing that? Was his breathing more ragged? Was is harder? Had he been coughing since he came here?
———
Techno, Tommy, and Philza got out of the car to watch the sun wake up Asia.
Techno noticed a distinct lack of excited bouncing and looked around for Wilbur. He saw him still sitting in the car.
Does he want to watch from the car? Techno walked without much concern back to Wilbur.
The concern came when he got there.
Even from outside the car, Techno could see Wil was hyperventilating.
He opened the door slowly and dropped down to crouch at Wilbur's level.
"Hey Wil, what happened?"
Wil looked at Techno but kept hyperventilating. He looked like he wanted to talk but couldn't get any words out. That seemed to panic him more.
Techno, for the first time this trip, had no clue what to do. Any questions meant to get Wilbur's attention off of whatever was bothering him would make it worse cause he couldn't answer.
Techno racked his brain. What could he do? What could he d-
"Wil, can you point at something yellow?"
Yes yES poiNTING! That's not talking! That should work!
Wilbur furrowed his brow. He shakily pointed at his sweater. Why would Techno ask him to point at a color?
"Yeah, ok can you point at something brown?"
Wilbur's breathing had been starting to slow down but when he looked around for brown he went back to hyperventilating severely.
He tilted his head back and frantically slumped in his seat while pointing to the city. He shut his eyes and dropped his hand.
Techno looked at LA. What was brown? The smog? Actually, the smog had gotten worse. Techno hadn't seen this view in a while and hadn't realized how thick it had gotten. He started to wonder what caused it when the sound of Wilbur panicking brought him back to the situation.
Now how could he help?
———
Looking back at the smog had reminded Wilbur exactly what the problem was. He could feel the remnants of smog in his lungs. It was poison and as he imagined it going through his bloodstream he thought his arms were getting weaker. He had no idea what damage it was doing, but by now he was sure it would be fatal.
He felt Techno put a hand on his shoulder.
"Wilbur, there's a hawk this tree. You wanna see it?"
Not... what Wilbur had been expecting. Techno spoke calmly, slowly. Far too calm if the hawk was really so close.
Wilbur opened his eyes and his breathing slowed once again. Enough to talk.
"A hawk?"
Techno gave a lopsided smile and seemed to release a flood of tension. He nodded and pointed to a tree behind the car.
Wilbur turned to look for the apex predator. He saw it. A red-tailed hawk sitting on the pine branch.
He talked without looking away. His breathing had completely returned to normal.
"Do you know what kind it is? It has a red tail and white breast."
Techno laughed.
"It's uh, it's called a red tailed hawk. That's it. Californians are very creative."
Wilbur laughed a little. His panic had eased away and he could think a bit more about his concern. Techno lives here. If he's healthy, Wilbur wasn't in danger.
"Wanna come watch the sunset?"
"Yeah."
So they did. They joined Tommy and Philza in watching reds and purples overtake the remaining blues above LA. And when the sun was gone and stars were visible, they left to head to Big Bear.
——————
Hiiii
I finally finished this! I'm really sorry it's taken so long, I've been working on an album and school.
Speaking of which, finals are the next two weeks so updates won't be fast:(
If you're reading this, I absolutely love you. Keep being as awesome as you clearly are.