"If you botch this, I will put the fear of Merlin in you, Nott. I swear to Godric, you'll regret ever being born."
Theo nodded solemnly. He had felt true fear only a few times in his life, but Ginny Weasley was easily one of the witches he could admit to being afraid of. Pansy had ensured he held the power of a witch with a wand in high regards, and his gaze was carefully fixed on the one currently sticking out of Ginny's boot.
"Ginny, back off him already." Hermione entered the room with a disapproving glare in Ginny's direction and a tray of tattooing equipment in her arms. "I trained him myself, and you trust me don't you?"
Ginny fixed Theo with one more intimidating glare before smiling sweetly at Hermione. "Of course I trust you, Hermione. I might question your sanity in certain apprentice decisions, but I trust you."
"Then hush up already and get in the chair."
Theo's foot bounced restlessly as though it could shake the nerves from his system.
Ginny had come into the shop looking to get yet another tattoo, and Hermione had decided it was the perfect opportunity for Theo to have his first client. In theory, having one of Hermione's close friends as his first official tattoo was the ideal situation, but Ginny Weasley was a loose canon on a good day.
"Theo, you look like you might vomit." Hermione grinned at him and shoved the tray into his hands. "Are you having second thoughts?"
"No, of course not." He shook his head a bit too frantically and said, "If you believe I'm ready, then I am."
She held his gaze for several beats for silence. Her eyes searched his for any sign of doubt, and when she found none she smiled. "Good. Then wash up, and I'll get Ginny prepped."
Theo moved to wash his hands in the small hand sink and felt his nervous energy quickly bloom into excitement. He couldn't resist the small smile that quirked up the corners of his mouth. He was about to give Ginny a tattoo, and it would be entirely his design.
When Ginny had come into Virago that morning, she had declared to them both that she didn't have any ideas or care at all what the design ended up being. She simply wanted a new tattoo, this time on her left inner wrist, and she would let Theo and Hermione decide what they put there. It had taken Hermione all of a breath to grin mischievously at Theo and announce he would be designing and tattooing Ginny.
Perhaps Ginny wasn't entirely wrong to question Hermione's sanity.
Nevertheless, he was excited.
His design was small but not entirely simple. The inner wrist was a smaller area to work with than he would like, but he was thankful his first piece wasn't large. He gathered several colored inks that he would need and took a seat beside Ginny.
"Are you sure you don't want to see the design first?"
Ginny rolled her eyes at him. "Don't lose confidence before you even begin, Nott."
He raised his eyebrows at her and clipped his wand into the tattooing machine. "Last chance to back out. After this you will have a permanent marking from a Slytherin on your body."
"When you put it like that," she drawled with a sly grin. "Do your worst."
Theo was surprised by Ginny's composure throughout the whole process. She sat calmly in the chair, chatting away with Hermione and seemingly oblivious to the feeling of the ink spreading under her skin. He knew his experience had been exceptionally painful due to his dark mark and that most normal tattoos hurt far less than his, but he was still impressed.
Hermione tried to pull him into the conversation several times, but after being rebuffed each time she left him alone with his work.
"Well look at that," Ginny said when he was finally finished. "Hermione really did teach you everything she knew."
"There's more to it than you think," he said with a proud smile. "Watch."
The lettering on Ginny's inner wrist was done in bold, black ink. 'Fred' was spelled out clearly and was surrounded by fireworks in reds, blues, and greens. As she watched, the fireworks exploded and new ones appeared in other places that she had thought he had left untouched.
The grin on her face froze when the 'F' in Fred slowly changed into a 'G' and orange fireworks appeared.
Theo watched her carefully for any signs of regret or anger. It was a gamble; Hermione had told him he should add that small detail to the name, but he still felt as though it was a line he shouldn't have crossed.
Bright brown eyes met his, and he found a well of admiration brewing inside them.
"Thank you," she murmured. Her eyes drifted back to her wrist and lingered there. "Thank you."
"You're welcome."
Hermione patted him on the shoulder, and he took that as his queue to leave. He was happy to flee the heavy tension that was settling over the room.
Ginny ran a gentle finger over the lettering of her tattoo and released a weary sigh.
"I'm sorry I left so suddenly," Hermione said suddenly. The words had been weighing on her for so long that they seemed to tumble from her lips. "I should have stayed a little longer, especially with everything..."
"Don't apologize." Ginny leveled stern, brown eyes at her. "Our grief was not your burden to bare."
Hermione nodded and swallowed thickly. "How is Molly?"
"She still has hard days, but she's doing much better than she was." Ginny ran a tired hand over her face and frowned. "She still has a hard time on... on George's birthday."
Hermione's heart squeezed painfully in her chest. "That's understandable. I can't imagine how George..."
They lapsed into a heavy silence, the weight of the loss of Fred nearly tangible between them.
Ginny rubbed her thumb over her new tattoo and glanced over at Hermione with a coy smile.
"So Theodore Nott, huh?"
"Who would have thought?" Hermione chuckled and said, "He has a passion for it that's hard to find."
"I think he's good for you."
Hermione glanced at her quickly, arguments already on the tip of her tongue.
"As a friend," Ginny said teasingly with a laugh. "I know we all get caught up in our lives, so I'm glad you have someone to keep you company here."
"He's rather different than I expected," Hermione said thoughtfully. "I suppose I never looked past the silver and green tie; it makes me wonder if we would've been good mates in school."
Ginny shrugged. "Who knows? Nobody's wearing ties anymore, so we might as well get to know the people who used to wear them. You know Neville is dating a Hufflepuff?"
Hermione grinned and asked, "Is he really? Good for him."
"Yeah, so if you ever wanted," Ginny drawled with a sly grin, "we might be able to look past any old school rivalries for you, too."
"Oh please," Hermione said with a roll of her eyes. "I think the newspapers have had enough fun with my almost-dating-life as it is. I would rather not give them any real ammunition."
Ginny shrugged, but that mischievous twinkle, so reminiscent of Fred, still lingered in her eyes. "Just food for thought."
—..—
Draco made his way into Black Dragon Brews, a small cafe that had opened up during the post-war reconstruction in Diagon Alley. It was a cozy shop, tucked into a corner of the Alley away from prying eyes.
He found Luna easily, perched at their usual table beside the fireplace and with a delicate teacup in her hands. She was gazing dreamily into the fire, a small smile fixed on her lips. The scarf she had wrapped around her was far too big and made her look even smaller than usual.
She turned her wistful smile towards him as he approached the table and said, "Good morning, Draco. Is it Sunday already?"
"It is, Luna. Do you come here every day?"
"Only sometimes and usually." She took a sip of her tea and hummed. "They make the most delicious earl grey tea with a dash of cream and comfort."
A waitress came over to greet them both and ask Draco for his order.
He ordered his usual, "A black coffee with hints of hope and a lucky honey scone, please."
Luna surveyed him while he waited for his drink, carefully watching his body language and facial expressions. "You're stressed," she observed bluntly. "More so than usual."
Draco nodded in agreement, knowing it would be futile to attempt to lie to her. "These last few weeks have been eventful to say the least."
"Would you like to talk about it?"
He was saved from answering when his order arrived. He smiled in thanks to the waitress who brought him his food and drink, but the smile swiftly faded when she left. His exhaustion weighted heavily in his bones, and he picked up his coffee eagerly in search of caffeine. Too eagerly; he winced when the hot drink burned his tongue. The bitter coffee mixed well with the sweet undertones of hope and warmed his insides pleasantly.
Luna's eyes roved the room, no doubt tracking one of her invisible creatures he could never see, and she asked, "Have you been by Hermione's shop yet?"
Draco hated how she did that. Luna was wickedly perceptive and had the unnerving ability to ask questions that always felt like she was reading his mind. "No, I haven't." He blew gently on his coffee before adding, "Theodore has been."
"So I saw," she said with a sly smile. Her eyes met his in that unflinching way of hers and sent warning bells ringing in his head. "Hermione managed to do something quite spectacular for him."
"So I heard," he said carefully. He held her gaze for a moment longer before he became too uncomfortable and looked down at his still steaming coffee. "He was quite moved by the whole ordeal when I saw him."
"Wouldn't you be?"
He had been. The emotional turmoil that had sprung up the night Theo had gotten his tattoo was still swirling in Draco's mind. It stole his ability to sleep and kept him pacing into the early hours of the morning. The boy inside him, the boy he thought had vanished after the war, was clamoring for him to go find Granger and demand she hide his mark. The idea of redemption of any kind was intoxicating and quickly became the only thing he could think about.
But that other voice, the hissing darkness that took up residence after the war, was far from kind. It drowned out the sound of that boy he had once been and reminded him of all the reasons why he didn't deserve such redemption. It whispered twisted truths and painful memories that ensured he kept such hope locked away and buried inside him.
"You need to drink your coffee," Luna said softly. Her voice broke through his downward spiraling thoughts and brought him back to the coffee shop. "The hope will be good for you; although, perhaps next time you should add forgiveness as well."
He met her understanding gaze and struggled to breath. "Forgiveness?"
Her smile was melancholic when she said, "I have found that forgiving others can be difficult, but forgiving yourself can be that hardest thing of all."
"Maybe because some people don't deserve forgiveness."
"And who decides that?" She pinched off a piece of his scone and popped it in her mouth, humming at the sweet flavor. "Certainly not ourselves; we are rather biased."
"But we know ourselves better than anyone."
She considered this with another sip of her tea. "Perhaps," she said, "But let me ask you something. Your friends, Pansy, Theodore, and Blaise. Do you believe they deserve forgiveness?"
"Of course," he answered without hesitation. There was no doubt in his mind that his friends deserved and had his forgiveness.
Luna nodded and asked, "And me? Without knowing everything about me, and after only being friends for a few years, can you say I deserve forgiveness?"
Draco frowned at her. "Yes, of course you do. What are you —"
"Then as your friend," she said sternly. "I have decided you deserve forgiveness, just as you have decided I do."
He closed his eyes briefly and tried not to sigh. Luna and her twisted logic, they were nearly impossible to argue against. Nevertheless, he said, "Luna, I thank you for saying something so kind, but you don't know —"
"Don't know everything?" Her big, blue eyes gazed at him with that otherworldly and all-knowing look she sometimes got, as though the universe whispered its knowledge to her and her alone. Her voice was clear of its usual airy quality and was quite firm when she said, "You are forgiven. Your mother, your life long friends, and your new friend have all forgiven you. Why can you not forgive yourself?"
"I don't know!" He exclaimed sharply.
The cafe around them grew hushed as the other patrons glanced over at their table to discern why he was yelling. He smiled apologetically around the room and then directed a distressed look to Luna. "I don't know, Luna. The things I did while we were in school, the things I should have done but didn't..." He ran a hand tiredly through his hair and asked, "How can you forgive me for keeping you captive in my home?"
"Because you didn't," she answered simply. She raised a hand to cut off his protests and said,
"No, Draco, you didn't. By then that place was no longer your home. You didn't find me, you didn't kidnap me, and you didn't lock me in the basement. We were children who didn't know what to do, abandoned by the adults who should have helped, and left with the weight of a collapsing world on our shoulders."
He gazed down at his half-empty cup of coffee, the faces of enemies and friends passing through his mind's eye like the flipping pages of a photo album. "We were children," he said quietly, remembering the same words being said to him by another witch years ago.
"We were." She reached a hand across the table and rested it carefully on his. "And children make mistakes."
Draco swallowed thickly against the tears the burned his eyes and throat, refusing to cry in such a public place. He nodded and cleared his throat before agreeing, "You're right, they do."
"Of course I'm right." She bounced back in her chair, and the tense atmosphere began to fade.
Draco smiled at her, but it quickly changed to a look of shock when he realized his honey scone was in her hand. "Luna," he said indignantly. "That's my scone."
She shoved half of the scone in her mouth and smiled at him with puffed cheeks.
A chuckle broke through his stern expression, and he couldn't help but smile. "You look ridiculous."
Luna stuck the tip of her tongue out at him, further proving his point, and swiftly ate the rest of his scone. After licking the remnants of honey off her finger tips, she said, "It was growing cold, and everyone knows lucky scones are best eaten warm. Besides, I need luck much more than you do right now."
He raised his eyebrows and asked, "Is that a fact?"
She nodded sagely. "Yes, it is. I had dinner with Ginevra tonight, and her aura has been very unsettled these past few days."
"Are things going well?" He handed her a napkin and said, "I know you said her mother was less than pleased when she found out you were dating."
Luna shrugged. "She was, but that was because she wanted Harry to be part of her family so bad. I told her to have Ronald start dating him, but she didn't seem to like that idea very much."
Draco choked back a laugh. "I can't imagine why."
"Well, Ronald was dating Romilda Vane at the time. Come to think of it, she didn't like my idea very much either."
"Regardless," Draco said with quiet laughter. "I am glad things are going well for you."
They ordered another drink each and spent the rest of their brunch talking about much lighter topics. Draco offered updates on Narcissa and her stay in France; her letters growing longer and more detailed with each month she was there. He asked after Luna's father, and she was more than happy to inundate him with the vast amount of knowledge Xenophilius was collecting on his latest creature expedition.
When the lunch crowd had come and gone, Luna made plans to meet with him again the following Sunday, same time and same place as always, and quickly left the shop.
Draco took his time finishing his coffee and enjoying the quiet atmosphere of the coffee shop as more people left, no doubt to shop around the Alley. Eventually, he and two or three other customers were the only ones left. The two cups of coffee and hope filled him with a light, contented feeling. He knew from experience it would only last a few hours, but it was one of the few things he looked forward to each week.
He considered his conversation with Luna and smiled to himself. She was the oddest friend he had, but Luna was by far one of the most precious. He regretted taking so long to get to know her.
Her words from earlier were lingering with him, the certainty in her gaze and voice had been jarring compared to her usual carefree manner. And although he hated to admit it, she had been right. Despite every doubt, and despite the whispering voice that argued against it, Draco was beginning to think he might deserve peace after all. Forgiveness was too big, too difficult for him to allow himself, but peace? He could allow that.
His mind made up, Draco finished his coffee and began debating the fastest route to Theo's flat.
Draco signaled for one of the waitresses and gave her an appraisingly look as she approached.
A pink blush spread over her cheeks, and she nervously tucked her loose brown hair behind her ear. "Can I get you something?"
He smirked at her which only caused her blush to darken. "I seem to be running late for a meeting," he lied smoothly, "and need to get to my office quite quickly. Would it be alright if I use your floo?"
The waitress glanced nervously around the mostly empty cafe and then towards to door leading to the back room. "We aren't supposed to let customers use it," she answered with an apologetic wince.
Draco pouted slightly. "Can you make an exception? I'll be quick." He let his pout shift into a coy smile and was rewarded with another pretty blush.
"I suppose, if you're quick." She smiled shyly at him. "The manager is on break, so he probably won't notice."
"Thanks, love. You're a life saver." He gave her a quick wink on his way to the fireplace and grinned as she rushed away, no doubt to giggle and simper with the girl behind the corner.
His grin faded into an easy smirk as he grabbed a handful of floo powder and quickly vanished through the fireplace.
Draco stepped smoothly out of Theo's fireplace and dusted lingering ash off his robes. Glancing around the room, he found Theo in his usual chair by the fireplace with a large book open in his lap.
Theo placed a ribbon between the pages he was reading and took in Draco's rather rumpled appearance. "Busy morning," he asked with an amused smile.
"You could say that," Draco said. He took a seat in the armchair across from Theo and ran his hand thoughtfully over his chin. "I came by to talk to you about your new friendship with Granger."
Theo's eyes lit with a glimmer of panic that Draco swiftly filed away to analyze later.
"Friendship?" Theo shifted uncomfortably in his chair and set his book on the coffee table before him. "Seems like a strong word."
Draco rolled his eyes at his friend's evasiveness. "Use whatever word you like."
Clearing his throat Theo said, "There's nothing to talk about, not really."
Frustration bubbled up inside Draco. This conversation wasn't going at all how he had hoped.
"I want you to take me to Granger's shop."
Theo looked almost as astonished as Draco felt.
He had planned on easing into the conversation, bring it up casually, and allowing Theo to think he had talked Draco into it. Directly asking was not at all the subtle route he had wanted to take.
"Are you sure," Theo asked skeptically. "You were so against it before and have refused to talk about it since we first talked."
"I am," Draco said and held his gaze resolutely, his panic at being so blunt was hidden carefully behind his mask of certainty. "I had plenty of time to think about it, and I have changed my opinion on the matter."
"What changed your mind?" Theo shook his head in wonder. "I have never seen you change your opinion on something so quickly."
Draco grabbed a handful of floo powder from the fireplace mantel and said, "It doesn't matter. Just know that I have, and I would like to ask her for an appointment."
Theo watched his friend disappear back through the floor and shook his head once more. Draco had behaving so different lately, cagey and uncharacteristically prone to angry outbursts. This visit would be chaotically unpredictable, but if it helped Draco... He grabbed a handful of floo powder and followed after him.