One of the things I hate most about life is how circumstances can change your view on certain things or places. I stare out at the churning ocean water, white foam forming and waves crashing on the sand. The cliff wall I'm sitting atop is cold and jagged, carved out by the sea waves over years and years. As if nature understands the heartache I experience, the sky is a groggy gray and the wind is chilling. It rains the slightest. Not enough to drench your clothes, but more of a salty mist.
I remember the times Dad and I would come down here. Usually on weekends we would drive down to the cliff area of Sharktooth and he would take me diving. It would take us far longer than usually needed to put on our gear, especially when I was little. I would never stay still long enough for him to help me with the tank which would result in an all out sand war and a game of tag.
I slip a hand over my mouth to hold back the sob that tries to escape from deep within me. Of course this had to be the place where he was killed. Of course fate had to ruin this beautiful and once perfect place for us.
For me.
Yet still, here I sit. I can't pull myself away from remembering him though it aches as if someone has wrenched my heart from my body. So I sit and cry to the sky as if that would solve my problems. As if that would mend my shattered and bleeding heart.
Eventually, despite my mentally asleep state, I sit straighter at the sound of someone else. A glance behind me reveals Julien and a ball of conflicted feelings unfurl in my chest. I hug my knees to my chest as he comes to sit beside me, both an action of defense but also one to comfort myself. He didn't say anything, just sat beside me and stared at the foamy water as I did.
I didn't know how to feel. Julie had been my best friend growing up. Yeah, he left and abandoned all of us when he and his family left, but I couldn't ignore the fact that he still probably knew me the most. But... Plandiv labeled him as a suspect. Deep down, I wanted to trust him, I really did... but... something tells me that he isn't being fully transparent.
"If I may ask, what did Sherrif Plandiv tell you?" He asked quietly after a while, turning to glance at me.
I remained silent for a few seconds, heart thundering in my ears. "Uh... just that you're a suspect," I muttered in response, giving a small shrug as if that fact didn't effect me as much as it did.
Julien slowly nodded and looked back at the ocean. "I am sure you have your... reservations regarding me now?" I'm not sure if that statement was meant to sound as a question, but it did and I nodded.
"I don't know what to think, Julie. I don't know what happened to you after you left Sharktooth. I'm scared I don't know you anymore and you could be something awful."
He nodded slowly, taking in my words but not interrupting as I continued.
"And... deep down I want to trust you. I really do because you were my best friend." You still kinda are. "But anything could've happen in that time and I don't know what to think anymore."
I scrunch my eyes close and hunch my shoulder protectively. I'm scared of this. And though I don't want to admit it, I'm scared of him. Is that a bad thing...?
"I know you may not have very many reasons to trust me, but I will tell you all the same that I did not kill your father. I hope you can have the courage to believe me because I do not wish to lose our friendship."
I turn to glance at him, tears brimming my eyes and I see a reflection of my own emotions in his glassy blue eyes. He's just as scared as I am. He's just as unsure.
From the corner of my eye I can see him shakily reach out a hand for mine and without a second thought I let him take it. He lets out a quick, relieved breath and I think I do.
I think I believe him.
I find myself later that day back at the shop. I don't really know what to do, but I know that I had to do something to keep my mind off things. So, I invited some of the boys over to help me clean up the mess that had become the shop. Lloyd and Cole had graciously agreed to help and I was happy for the company. They helped keep my mind off everything with their wild shenanigans.
"Hey, Green Bean! I know you enjoy looking at yourself but get over here and help me rather than giving the world another Kai!" Cole called from across the shop which made me snicker.
Lloyd, who had been restocking the turning rack of sunglasses, snapped straighter at the remark before glancing around to meet Cole's smug gaze. "I am not as self centered as Kai!" He huffed but obeyed and dragged himself over to help Cole with the knickknacks. I snickered and rolled my eyes, throwing more icecream bars in the clear topped case we had just to the left of the shelves Cole was restocking.
"How are you holding up?" Lloyd asked gently as he came over to help Cole.
I slowly stood straight and glanced at him before averting my eyes. "I, uh... I think... better than I have been," I whispered and gave a quick nod as if to reassure myself too.
The two boys shared a quick glance and gave me that same look I had been getting since it happened.
"Please don't look at me like that," I breathed and ducked my head low, shuffling my feet.
"Like what?"
"Like there's something fragile about me. Like... I have to be handled with bubble wrap now."
Cole frowned and set down the glass dolphin in his hand. He gently pushed past Lloyd before coming to stand in front of me, hand placed on my shoulder. "We're not saying that you're fragile or we need to walk on egg shells around you," he muttered and I glanced up at him. "We've been there too."
He glanced back at Lloyd who gave a solemn nod. "I grew up without my mom. And hey, my dad was an evil overlord. When he finally turned good I only had a few years with him before I lost him..."
I winced and shuffled my feet, unsure what to say. But Cole spoke up right after that, arms crossed. "My mom died when I was a kid. All we're saying is that we understand what you're going through and we're here if you need us."
"Yeah! Whether that's like, a punching bag or someone to talk to or go get icecream with!" Lloyd chirped and gave me a small smile.
I managed a small but broken laugh and shrugged. "I'm sure you two would love to go get icecream," I teased and the two eagerly nodded. With a roll of my eyes, I popped open the freezer and tossed an icecream sandwich at the two and taking one for myself, too.
We ended up wandering across the street to sit in the sand to eat our treats. Cole absolutely devoured his in record time. I wish I would've recorded the time and submitted it because it may have been a world record.
"So, Y/n," Lloyd started and I turned to glance at him, still finishing off my sandwich. I hummed in response and he continued.
"You and Zane."
"...Is there supposed to be a question in there?" I asked tentatively, unsure what he was saying.
Cole picked up the slack, eyeing Lloyd. "He's just trying to ask what he was like when he was younger." He said and gave the blond a pointed look and smack his arm which earned a quiet 'ow'.
I shrugged and glanced out over the ocean. "He was reckless and always wanting to do something," I hummed and nodded with a small smile, remembering the good old times. "He's different now, I guess."
The boys shared a look that went unnoticed by me.
"Yeah, I've been trying to get him to talk to you about that..." Cole muttered and rubbed the back of his head with a hand.
"About what?" I asked and tilted my head, confused.
Our conversation was cut short by my favorite person ever and the jerk squad. I sighed, bracing for this train wreck.
"Hey, nitwit, I'm going to need some dough for this weekend," Dani snipped and gave me a sticky sweet grin.
"If you need money, you should take up a shift at the shop," I grumbled in response and rubbed my face with a hand.
"Or you could quit being a spoiled brat and hand it over. It's really not that hard."
"Uh, she will not," Lloyd spoke up and narrowed his piercing green eyes at my twin. "The money she earns is rightfully hers."
Dani turned her gaze onto Lloyd and I straightened, hating the way she looked at him. Yeah, he's the green ninja or whatever, but I still had the urge to protect my friends from my devil of a sister. "Aw, a cute little blond puppy who thinks he's big and strong and scary."
"HEY," I snipped and stood, glaring at my sister. "Go bother someone else. Or go do something stupid and illegal like usual."
Dani didn't flinch and she just stared at me with pity in her eyes. "I'll just go take the money myself. That works too!"
Exasperated, I throw my hands up in the air and surrender. "Whatever."
I flop back in the sand as she stalks off, head rested on my knees. I can feel the looks the boys are giving me, but I ignore it.
They stay silent for a while until Cole pipes up, his voice quiet.
"Has your sister been question about your dad's murder?"