March 4th; 2024
One Month Later
Olivia Flower's Point of View
Dear diary,
I'm very close to my 2nd trimester which is terrifying as hell I have to admit. In a couple of days it'll officially be week 13. I've also developed a bump on my abdomen. Nothing too big but it's enough to bring me joy. I love the tiny bump. It reminds me of the baby and I can feel closer to them. Beforehand I knew I was pregnant but now it's like I can see it happening. Also, since when has this turned into a pregnancy journal? I mean, I don't have much else to write about. All this spare time has gotten me thinking about everyone in my life. I want to meet my biological father. I know I have met him a couple times but they were so long ago I don't even remember. I want to meet him and actually remember. I want to tell him that he's going to be a grandfather and maybe if he's nice, he can be involved. I love my dad but I've always wanted to have my biological dad in my life. You can't blame me for being curious? Taylor has always been telling me to stay away but what if he's changed? Plus, my mom has to be somewhat bias. She's had hatred for him for 17 years. Maybe it's time for them to reconcile or they can become indifferent. I want to meet my dad for once in my life on good terms. Just sit down with him and talk.
Sincerely,
Olivia
I get out of my bed and toss my journal on my desk but miss miserably and it falls on the ground. I shrug and ignore the fact it's on the ground and just walk downstairs anyway. I look around, trying to find Taylor but my hunt comes to an end when I hear her walk through the front door. I walk towards her and she puts her purse on the entry table. She looks at me with dark circles under her eyes and reeks of weary bones.
"Hey. How are you?" My tone is perky and the opposite of anything Taylor would propose.
"What is it you need?" She reads me and assumes my dialogue like the way she analyzes a song.
"I want to meet my dad...my biological dad." I spill.
"No." She speaks firmly and walks away slowly, carrying a small paper white bag with her.
"That's it? No?"
"Olivia, today is not a good day to start something with me. Can we just do this a different day?" Her voice seems drained with frustration beginning to accompany it.
"If not now, then when?" I ask.
"Ask me a day when I feel like I'm awake. Ask me when I don't feel like if I shot myself, I'd be more alive than dead!" She slightly snaps.
"You feel like that every day so I'm pretty sure that day will never come."
"You're not going to let this go." She mutters to herself before turning around, finally giving in.
"I'm not."
"Okay, fine. Olivia, your father is an asshole. If you try and meet him, all he'll do is hurt you. Sometimes is better to remain curious your entire life rather than getting hurt."
"How do you know that he's still like that? He could have changed!"
"People like him don't change! He's only tried to take custody of you to piss me off! He didn't want you, he wanted me. He wanted to control me. If you go see him, he'll add you as a pawn to his chessboard to use against others."
"Maybe you two can get together and talk it out. Stop hating him maybe."
"I don't hate Calvin, hating him takes too much of a toll. I'm just indifferent at this point. I've buried the hatchet."
"Then why does it bother you if I see him?"
"Because I kept a map of where I put that hatchet. Calvin is just-don't. You have to believe me when I'm telling you, it's for the best. It's better for you to run as far as you can."
"How do you know?"
"I don't regret meeting Calvin. I don't regret it because without him I wouldn't have you, but I don't want to be around him."
"Do you not want me to see him because of your sake or mine?"
"Both. I would be lying if I wasn't scared of seeing him again but I know he'll hurt you. It's not worth it."
"Is that why you call him, Calvin? You're too scared."
"Adam. There you are. Happy?"
"No. I want to see him."
"No! Why can't you take that as an answer! Anytime I try and tell you to do something all you do is say no. I'm starting to feel like if I told you to breathe you would stop. Why do you hate me and why do you hate what I have to say? I'm trying, I'm trying so damn hard but dammit Olivia! I don't know how much longer of-of frickin you and this I can take. I can't-I can't breathe." She loses her mind, it's like she's turned down into a mental breakdown. She struggles to breathe and gasps for air.
"Are you okay?" I ask with genuine concern.
"What do you care?" She tears open the white paper bag and grabs an inhaler from it. She puts it together quickly and sprays the air into her lungs. She places her hand on the wall for a moment as she catches her breath.
"I feel like absolute shit right now so I'm going to lay down. I'm not having this conversation with you again." She tells me before walking away. She walks into her bedroom and closes the door sharply.
I look and see she left her phone on the table. I take it and attempt to open it but there's a password. There's not many things this could be.
131989 I type in and the phone opens. Predicable. I quickly open the contacts in her phone and scroll down to "Adam Wiles." I'm not sure why she kept his contact after all these years but at least I have his number now. I quickly take a picture of the number from my phone and close her phone. Taking a picture of a phone from your phone...quite odd. I leave the phone where it was and run upstairs. I look at the number and begin to dial it. I'm running on pure adrenaline at this point. The phone begins to ring and it's picked up.
"Hello?"
"Hi, uh-is this Adam?" I ask.
"Who is this?"
"Olivia. I'm Taylor's daughter."
"This is strange. Is there something you need?"
"I want to meet you."
• • •
My leg is shaking violently as I sit at the small table at the café. He agreed to meet me and I'm waiting for him right now at a small restaurant a few minutes away. I watch as he walks over to me. He sits down across from me as he tries to keep as much distance as he can.
"Hey, so you're...hey." I'm not entirely sure what to say or how to say it. What do I even all him?
"I'm your dad. You can just call me Adam or Calvin. Whatever fancies you." He tells me.
"Okay. Adam it is."
"I'm guessing Taylor doesn't know about this."
"No, god no."
"So why do you want to meet me?" He asks.
"I just never got to meet you. Part of me always wanted to. Felt like it was time. I wanted to know who you were."
"Well here I am. What do you want to know?"
"I always hear Taylor's side of the story. What's yours?"
"Taylor is very stubborn. About 18 years ago I was leaving for college and she seemed mad or upset about it, I don't know. She didn't tell me for years and apparently by the time I found out, it was too late to be your father which is bullshit because I never was given the chance."
"Would you have been my father if Taylor allowed you too? If she told you?"
"Yes, of course."
"So, what did you really do wrong?"
"Nothing. Your mom is just crazy."
"You could say that again." I snicker while slightly sighing.
"You know I tried to get custody of you but they kept siding with Taylor."
"Yeah, I know...I want to tell you something if that's okay."
"Sure I guess."
"I'm pregnant and I'm almost in my second trimester." I say this with an awkward grin as I hand him an ultrasound picture. He takes it and looks at it as he interprets the information.
"So, how old are you again?" He asks.
"17."
"Just like your mother." He scoffs.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Obviously some boy did this. Did he leave you? Did you not care enough to tell him?"
"No-I'm not my mother. The dad stayed and he's a really nice guy. We got married about two months ago."
"Like marrying him is gonna fix anything. If you were a smart girl you would have gotten an abortion. Teenage moms to not make good mothers."
I push aside everything he has said so far and try and shove it down. I pretend to not hear the words as I want to pretend he didn't say them. "So, do you want to be involved in your grandkids' life?"
"This isn't my grandchild. You're not really my daughter, you know. I have two great sons and a wife. That's my family, not this dysfunctional crap."
My eyes begin to swell up and I try to not cry. "My mom was right, you are an asshole."
I stand up and take my purse. I walk to the car and as I get in, I see that he's still sitting there. No amazing scene where he chases after me to apologize for his actions. He just takes out his phone and acts as if nothing ever happened. My mom is right, I am just a pawn on his chess board.
• • •
I toss my purse on the ground as I enter the house. I close the door with my eyes stinging as I try and hold my tears back.
"Olivia Meredith!" Taylor comes storming into the room, fists full with fury.
"Please don't lecture me." I plead somberly.
"I told you to stay away and you know what you did? You met him, you frickin met him. You didn't even bother to tell me! I find out from a text from Calvin!"
"Mom, please."
"What is it? Why are you so arrogant? Why must you disobey everything I tell you." She snaps.
"You were right. I should've stayed out of it." I begin to let my tears fall and I sob. By surprise, she walks up to me and wraps her arms around me. I find the hug comforting and safe, something that has been missing from my life lately. I hug her back and cry into her shirt.
"I'm so sorry." She speaks softly as she lightly runs her hand down my hair.
"I thought he'd be different." I say through my cries.
"I know you did. I'm sorry your dad is a shitass."
"No, he's not my dad. Joe's always been my dad." He's the best dad and I don't think Calvin could be to half his level. I pray I never see that bastard again.
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Author's Note:
DrAmA. I thought I'd bring in Calvin for a chapter.
Next chapter is called Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word. I think it's cute :)
Song: Biological Didn't Bother - Shaquille O'Neal